Friday, June 29, 2007

Limerick Friday XXXVI: Bryce Finds A Sibling, On A Very Special Blossom Brandow


Our friend Brent is once again to become a father
Congratulations to his family for adding another
Good luck to this child on the hard streets of Cary
He’ll be banging at REI by the time he’s three
If he comes out with a porn ‘stache like Dad it’ll be a bother

No dice for W’s illogical immigration bill
He’s got no friends left on Capitol Hill
Heck, someone named Consuela cleans congressional halls
And Hector and Juan rake the White House lawn when a leaf falls
W should shut up and wait out his days since his power is nil

Another Michael Moore documentary called “Sicko”
If you’re remotely interested in the future, you’ll go
The raping and pillaging is being done by elected leaders
At the expense of the tax-paying bottom feeders
Moore’s trying to learn why health care is better for a prisoner at Gitmo

Quite a buzz surrounding the iPhone from Apple
Literace wants one for his job at the Gap-ple
Not sure why this thing makes everyone moan
After all, it’s just a goddam phone
To me, a cell’s a cell, so I don’t give a crap-ple

He always knew who was cheating on who
Hid jokes in his company newsletter, it’s true
We miss our entertaining Mr. Honaker
Who was so clever with every nickname and moniker
He loved Paris Hilton – and Jen Dennis, too

Limer-inks

Limerick Friday I

Limerick Friday II

Limerick Friday III

Limerick Friday IV

Limerick Friday V

Limerick Friday VI

Limerick Friday VII

Best of … Limerick Friday

Limerick Friday IX

Limerick Friday X

Limerick Friday XI

Limerick Friday XII

Limerick Friday XIII

Limerick Friday XIV

Limerick Friday XV

Limerick Friday XVI

Limerick Friday XVII

Limerick Friday XVIII

Limerick Friday XIX

Limerick Friday XX

Limerick Friday XXI

Limerick Friday XXII

Limerick Friday XXIII

Limerick Friday XXIV

Limerick Friday XXV

Limerick Friday XXVI

Limerick Friday XXVII

Limerick Friday XXVIII

Limerick Friday XXIX

Limerick Friday XXX

Limerick Friday XXXI

Limerick Friday XXXII

Limerick Friday XXXIII

Limerick Friday XXXIV

Limerick Friday XXXV

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Stamos Just Being Stamos

Good times. Although to be fair, if Rebecca Romijn had left me, I'd probably spend my days doing Whip-Its and drinking appletinis as well.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

They Call Her The Pacifier ...

The infamous tot beats the christ out of Will Ferrell as part of her farewell performance ...

Good Cop, Baby Cop

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Old School SNL Funny: Oops, I Crapped My Pants


OOPS I Crapped My Pants - For more funny videos, click here

The Rocket Rocks The Depends

This spoof failed me in that it was a little long and there was no reference to "Oops, I crapped my pants," but it was mildly amusing at least.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Limerick Friday XXXV: Mysterious Grumpy Puzzles Our Elected Leaders


Someone took a dump on the Senate floor
Karl Rove and Newt Gingrich are top suspects, for sure
Usually, politicians don’t give a crap
They don’t like to let pooping interrupt their nap
But it smelled even worse than usual near the White House front door

Angel Cabrera was the winner that no one did expect
Last man standing after Oakmont made sure everyone else wrecked
He doesn’t look like one of the world beaters
A tad lumpy and constantly smoking heaters
The guy shot 69 on Sunday at the Open, give him respect

Cash exchanged hands over at Duke
After a series of p.r. moves that made everyone puke
Gave the boot to that crook Nifong
Now he’ll spend his days playing beer pong
If you ask me, all of Durham should still get the nuke

Forest creatures announce that they’ll get hitched
Wearing yarmulkes that were just recently stitched
Their kids will look like Weeble Wobbles, it’s true
As they journey to save not one Big Apple tower, but two
They’ll Google “Bulls Game” on their Dells to make their lives enriched

A welcome bit of humor from Hillary
Mirroring the complicated Sopranos finale
But they lost me when they started eating carrot sticks
Everyone knows its pork rinds for those Arkansas hicks
Whether her campaign can find momentum will be interesting to see


Limer-inks

Limerick Friday I

Limerick Friday II

Limerick Friday III

Limerick Friday IV

Limerick Friday V

Limerick Friday VI

Limerick Friday VII

Best of … Limerick Friday

Limerick Friday IX

Limerick Friday X

Limerick Friday XI

Limerick Friday XII

Limerick Friday XIII

Limerick Friday XIV

Limerick Friday XV

Limerick Friday XVI

Limerick Friday XVII

Limerick Friday XVIII

Limerick Friday XIX

Limerick Friday XX

Limerick Friday XXI

Limerick Friday XXII

Limerick Friday XXIII

Limerick Friday XXIV

Limerick Friday XXV

Limerick Friday XXVI

Limerick Friday XXVII

Limerick Friday XXVIII

Limerick Friday XXIX

Limerick Friday XXX

Limerick Friday XXXI

Limerick Friday XXXII

Limerick Friday XXXIII

Limerick Friday XXXIV

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Paris In Jail

This is a kinda funny video spoof of Paris Hilton. As an added bonus, the singer is pretty hot. Enjoy ...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Great Moments In Presidential Speeches

We all know that David Letterman is the freaking man, but I don't know that he's ever had a better sketch than "Great Moments In Presidential Speeches." These just prove the theory that when you are dealing with a borderline retarded, compulsive-liar, alcoholic president ... the jokes write themselves.



Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Tommy O’Irish Breaks Down Pack Football


For any NC State football fans reading, coach Tom O’Brien met with the local media on Friday. I was able to cover the event for Pack Pride magazine, so click here for the full report.

For the EZU fans out there, I haven’t forgotten about you. I also found a helpful link for you here.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Limerick Friday XXXIV: Fabulous And Fired – The Literace Story


Literace finally got exposed as a liar and was fired
Forgetting what the truth is must make you pretty tired
What a tough year for that Tinker Bell it’s been
His site got shut down and then he gets shit-canned again
Now it’s back to watching “Bird Cage” and begging Abercrombie & Fitch to be hired

Calling San Antonio a dynasty is lame
They score like 70 freaking points a game
Duncan whines like a bitch and avoids contact’s dangers
Ginobli flops and looks like Balki from Perfect Strangers
Lebron’s overrated and the NBA has become a joke and a shame

The Sopranos didn’t go quietly into that good night
Controversy follows the series as it leaves without a fight
I’ll miss Paulie’s superstitions and Christopher’s ideas about everything
I’ll miss Tony’s malapropisms and scenes set in the Bada-Bing
An amazing show that proved how great television can still be when it’s right

Now Paris has herpes, it seems
Caught buying medications and creams
Maybe she and Ron Mexico shared a one-night retreat
Or she got it from going bottomless in a limo back seat
Mr. Hilton must be proud that he’s raised the daughter of his dreams

The computers on the space station are down
Where’s Hal when you need him around?
We’re a long way from living on Mars, I guess
Our space program is a complete and utter mess
Somebody call Sergei and get him on the next shuttle out of town

Limer-inks

Limerick Friday I

Limerick Friday II

Limerick Friday III

Limerick Friday IV

Limerick Friday V

Limerick Friday VI

Limerick Friday VII

Best of … Limerick Friday

Limerick Friday IX

Limerick Friday X

Limerick Friday XI

Limerick Friday XII

Limerick Friday XIII

Limerick Friday XIV

Limerick Friday XV

Limerick Friday XVI

Limerick Friday XVII

Limerick Friday XVIII

Limerick Friday XIX

Limerick Friday XX

Limerick Friday XXI

Limerick Friday XXII

Limerick Friday XXIII

Limerick Friday XXIV

Limerick Friday XXV

Limerick Friday XXVI

Limerick Friday XXVII

Limerick Friday XXVIII

Limerick Friday XXIX

Limerick Friday XXX

Limerick Friday XXXI

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Room of Dreams, Part I

Despite the Whodini-style rapping, this NC State basketball recruiting video was a previously unused tool in wooing potential student-athletes. Check out the showmanship of Pack coach Jim Valvano in these clips ...

Room of Dreams, Part II

Twenty years ago, State hoops coach Jim Valvano was considered a revolutionary among his contemporaries in nearly every aspect of running a Division I basketball program. One of the areas in which he was considered a forerunner was in the recruitment process. Valvano's "Field of Dreams" video was unheard of at the time, a precursor to the fawning circus that recruiting has become.

Legend has it that at the end of this video, smoke filled the room and a basketball rolled out to the chair where the recruit was sitting. According to those who would know, the sales pitch was one that was difficult to say no to.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sopranos Fades To Black Amidst Praise And Complaints


In case you’ve been living in a cave, you know the last true watercooler show, “The Sopranos” ended an eight-year run on Sunday night with a much-anticipated finale. After 55 minutes that appeared to be leading up to a dramatic, tension-filled final scene, the screen simply went black and the wires that have been jiggled by creator David Chase since 1999 simply went still.

The last episode teased us with possibilities right up to the very end, with hints that Tony might be whacked, that Paulie might rat him out, that Tony himself might work with the feds, that A.J. might kill himself or that Janice might finally go off the deep end. Even when Tony gathered with Carmela, A.J. and Meadow in Holsten’s in the final scene, with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” playing, the air was rife with what could occur: Would that suspicious-looking guy who kept eyeing the Sopranos’ table and then ducked into the bathroom – like in the famous “Godfather” scene – come out and blindside Tony? Would Meadow’s trouble with parallel parking interrupt a hit? Would Meadow burst in to announce she’s pregnant? Would someone unexpected walk through the door instead of Meadow? Tony’s expectant face, followed by a fade to black that had half the country cursing their cable companies, left the door open to a host of possibilities.

For a show that redefined what television drama is and should be, one critic made the argument that “any finale would have been a letdown.” Yet the vitriol and disparity of opinion surrounding the conclusion showed just why the series became so popular and revolutionary. Here are some samples of the various reactions:

“The abrupt finale was almost like a prank, a mischievous dig at viewers who had agonized over how television's most addictive series would come to a close.” – International Herald Tribune

“I'm glad Chase didn't go for a clean sweep-up or a cheap twist. The ending he gave us was borderline genius.” – Chicago Sun-Times

“Not a predictable way in which to end what is referred to as the most significant television show ever, but then Chase has reveled in his unpredictability from the start.” – South Bend Tribune

“Creator David Chase cut to black, to end his TV masterpiece 100 percent unresolved ... [with] the genius of an ending that set up every one of the signs of Mafia doom, without pulling the trigger. Nondescript Baseball Cap Guy will forever be drinking coffee in that booth. Gray-Jacket Mook's permanently in the bathroom. The hip-hop gangstas will always be standing at the jukebox. Nobody's whacking anybody." – The Philadelphia Inquirer

“[The audience] robbed the audience of closure. And if it were done to segue into a motion picture sequel, then that kind of crass commercialism shouldn't be tolerated.” – L.A. Weekly

“Anyone who expected a neat and tidy ending, with plot resolution and music over the credits that would tell you what to feel, wasn't paying attention to a series where frayed ends abound.” - The Huffington Post

"One thing for certain: It was just one last, brilliant example of Chase refusing to live within the conventions of television. In a world where resolution is expected, no previous great television series ever has gone out on such a high note of ambiguity, such a lack of denouement." – San Jose Mercury News

"It may have been the greatest double-take -- by the audience -- in the history of American television.” – The Washington Post

“Refusing to play by more traditional series finale rules, "The Sopranos" continued to rattle the pop culture cage Monday in the aftermath of a final episode that infuriated many fans and critics while thrilling others … [But] here's the thing. Any artist who gets people to have such passionate, divergent reactions to his art, well, he's doing what an artist should do. Provoking, making us think, letting the viewer make up his or her own mind about what they have seen, how it will all play out … Great art doesn't shy away from ambiguity. And what David Chase did with "The Sopranos" from thrilling start to haunting conclusion was stay absolutely true to his artistic self.” – Detroit Free Press

“One of the most bizarre -- and frustratingly unsatisfying -- series finales in TV history." – Palm Beach Post

“The episode definitely had its moments, but few of the possibilities viewers had been discussing for weeks came through. How many of these theories below had you heard bounced around in weeks past? None of them happened ...

"If Tony was indeed an anti-hero, the show he helmed came to an anticlimax. There's no question fans will be frustrated. Those who've defended the show all along will claim Chase is brilliant, leaving fans to finish the plotlines in their own minds, while those who had other expectations were likely be furious." – MSNBC

Within the Sopranos family, there is no such thing as a normal family dinner or sharing of onion rings without considering the specter of what might happen hovering above. Tony is facing a looming indictment, a loss of valued friends and a reluctant No. 2 man in Paulie Walnuts. Silvio’s recovery is still in doubt, Bobby and Christopher are both dead and gone, Uncle June is off his rocker, Phil Leotardo has been slain, but Carlo has flipped… so what lies next for the man who has to make all the decisions and determine the course of the family? Carmela is still conflicted about Tony’s dark side, A.J. appears to have some semblance of direction with a girlfriend and a position with a movie production company, and Meadow is ready to resume a legal career and get married. This wasn’t a special, last supper, it was every day of their lives unfolding in a diner; the message is that this has been and remains what life is accepted to be for the Sopranos.

This is not to say that Chase should get a free pass for everything in the final season. The rapid disappearance of Dr. Melfi was dissatisfying and puzzling, as if the writers had to scramble to make her disappear faster than Big Pussy. She has left Tony’s life, but he is far from healed mentally, which is made painfully obvious when he turns a meeting with A.J.’s therapist into a rant about his own dysfunctional childhood and overbearing mother. For a show that proved that nothing is off-limits – with frank portrayals and discussions of violence, sexuality, morality, comedy, superstitions, relationships, bigotry and other issues – there were some noticeable loose ends, but perhaps that is unavoidable when trying to wrap up a series with eight years worth of backstory, plotlines and characters. The title of the finale was “Made In America,” and many have pointed out the broad cross-section of people who were in Holsten’s in the final scene. It appears to be a fitting name for a show that increasingly touched on and explored highly charged political issues, from immigration to the environment to A.J.’s flirtation with joining the Army.

Ironically, Chase’s ending seemed to point out many of the dysfunctions that our society exhibits that are reflected within the show. The outrage and disbelief over the ending was severe enough to sink Web sites and have some calling for Chase’s “whacking.” Hell, even Kelly Ripa said it “was like a cheap one-night stand,” leading us to wonder both how she knows what that is like and what it is about such slutitude that would be worth comparing to a television show. The rampant whining and complaining pointed up one of the traits that has made our society so annoying and tiresome: a sense of entitlement. Viewers plaintively argued that they “deserved” a certain ending after eight years of loyalty. Huh? If these people could get over themselves for exactly long enough to examine the finale in its entirety, they might recognize Chase achieved the ultimate prize for a writer – to have the audience so rapt that they are fervently arguing about their own image of what the ending truly is, was or led to. Yet our collective 15-second attention spans don’t allow most people to look beyond that initial reaction.

Many fans’ disappointment stems from the wonderful way that Chase had built up to a finale that seemed poised to offer an all-out mob war full of the finality of death. The penultimate episode ended with Tony bedded down in a safehouse, cradling an enormous machine gun, seemingly ready to go to war. But Chase has never been about wrapping things up cleanly or precisely, and his brilliance has always been reflected and echoed in his ability to give the viewer the power and freedom to make up their own minds about characters, events and actions. For viewers seeking a black and white – and red – conclusion, they got Chase’s customary shades of gray, swathed in good, evil and empathy.

The finale was open-ended enough to inspire rumors that the “true” ending will be available only on the season DVD or that a movie could be in the offing (Chase would only call a movie “unlikely”). Chase left himself and us enough of an opening that he could come back and address this crazy family again if he so chooses. Even though the HBO site was crashed with a flood of complaints, the episode never had the feeling of a finale, which is perhaps the most masterful aspect of the creator’s work. If nothing else, the ending had everyone talking and coming up with theories. What other drama could have inspired that level of angst, emotion and reaction after eight years? None – which is truly what made The Sopranos one of a kind.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Limerick Friday XXXIII: Paris Leaves Jail Before Planned Girlfight Shower Scene


From a posh hotel to 45 days in the clink for a stupid heiress
But three days in jail was enough for that no-talent Paris
I guess that’s justice in our ass-backwards USA
With enough money and cameras you never have to pay
If it was up to me they’d send her to Abu Ghraib with Momar and Housharis

Brought in a new quarterback named Trent
Told Culpepper basically to go get bent
Do we finally have a QB who can complete a pass
Without repeatedly falling on his ass?
I’m still wondering where the hell poor Joey Harrington went

They cry and they plead and they whine
The entire San Antonio Spurs team acts asinine
They flop more than Shane Battier
But they represent today’s NBA
“The NBA, it’s fantastic” was once a helluva line

There once was a Nadal named Rafael
Playing tennis against him on clay was pure hell
He looked funny wearing girls’ capris
But he hit winner after winner with a breeze
One arm is twice as big as the other, if you couldn’t tell

If you’re going to see “Knocked Up,” save your money
Basically, it was “40-Year-Old Virgin” without the funny
I saw it because I’m smitten with Katherine Heigl
I once had a rye bagel they called a byegel
The flick sucked and there was a birth scene you won’t want to see with your honey

Limer-inks

Limerick Friday I

Limerick Friday II

Limerick Friday III

Limerick Friday IV

Limerick Friday V

Limerick Friday VI

Limerick Friday VII

Best of … Limerick Friday

Limerick Friday IX

Limerick Friday X

Limerick Friday XI

Limerick Friday XII

Limerick Friday XIII

Limerick Friday XIV

Limerick Friday XV

Limerick Friday XVI

Limerick Friday XVII

Limerick Friday XVIII

Limerick Friday XIX

Limerick Friday XX

Limerick Friday XXI

Limerick Friday XXII

Limerick Friday XXIII

Limerick Friday XXIV

Limerick Friday XXV

Limerick Friday XXVI

Limerick Friday XXVII

Limerick Friday XXVIII

Limerick Friday XXIX

Limerick Friday XXX

Limerick Friday XXXI

Limerick Friday XXXII

Thursday, June 07, 2007

"Lost": Saying Goodbye To Season Three, Part II


In Part I of our look at “Lost’s” Season 3 finale, we dug into some of the key issues facing the show heading into the offseason. Today, we examine the other major characters who will have a significant voice in determining the course of Season 4 – and beyond.


LOCKE

“This is not how it’s supposed to happen.” These are the words that John Locke uses as Jack is prepared to use the satellite phone to call for rescue. Locke looks pleadingly at Jack, hoping that he can appeal to Jack’s sense that something doesn’t feel quite right, that this is way too easy after way too long. Locke appeared to lend some credence to the importance of hearing him out after sticking a knife in Naomi’s kidney from half a football field away, but Jack has had enough of Locke’s erratic, mountain-man-like behavior and makes the call anyway. It is a very foreboding seen, with the jubilation of the survivors after rescue is promised juxtaposed with the crestfallen looks on the faces of both Locke and Ben.

We see Locke shake his head and disappear behind the radio tower as the other Losties celebrate, but what will happen from here is the source of frantic discussion and speculation. Will he lead an uprising against the rescuers, who appear to be potential usurpers of the island? Will he be forcibly sent back to the real world by the rescuers? Will his paralysis return and have him face a life back in his hated wheelchair? Or is he even the one in the mysterious coffin, who died off the island?

Locke didn’t even appear in the finale until nearly an hour in, as we see him lying in the mass grave after being shot by Ben. Thinking he’s paralyzed again, Locke loses it and clutches a gun, ready to commit suicide. The ghost of Walt – played by soon-to-be first overall NBA draft pick Greg Oden – suddenly appears, chastising Locke for his weakness and seriously announcing, “You have work to do.” If this “work” was to stop Jack from contacting the outside world, did he fail and will he retreat into being a recluse like Rousseau? It’s hard to fathom that we have heard the last of John Locke … especially since many theorize that the entire show revolves around the story of Locke.


SAWYER

Mostly a bit player in the two-hour finale, Sawyer’s drama revolved mostly around his shunning of Kate and his cold-blooded killing of Tom. He is unmistakably part of an odd love quadrangle taking place between himself, Kate, Jack and Juliet, but part of Sawyer appears to throw in the towel and give up the brief period of hope and optimism that seemed to permeate him when he and Kate were together. When Sawyer leaves to try to check on or save Sayid, Jin and Bernard, he is literally and figuratively trying to remove Kate from his life. The brutal, crass Sawyer returns when he verbally assaults Hurley, who wants to help in the return to camp to check on the above-mentioned trio, who had stayed behind to attack the Others. Sawyer sees that Kate loves Jack and vice-versa, and he reacts with the only weapon he has and has always turned to: escape.

Does the concealed anger beneath that perceived rejection lead him to murder Tom? After Hurley saves the day by ramming the van into the Others, Sawyer is casually having a beer when he confronts Tom. Even though Tom surrenders, Sawyer shoots him anyway, saying, “That was for taking the boy on the raft,” referring to the abduction of Walt and the subsequent shooting of Sawyer. When a mortified Hurley intones that Tom had surrendered, Sawyer says only, “I didn’t believe him.”

Some “Lost” fanatics believe that it is actually Sawyer who committed suicide and resides in the mysterious coffin, while others feel that he is the “he” mentioned by Kate in the final scene with Jack at the airport. Did he and Kate discover a relationship off the island? Did Sawyer go back to a real world that offers him no options, whether voluntarily or involuntarily? Or is he the much-discussed corpse that draws nobody to his funeral and leads to Jack’s nearly attempted suicide?

Sawyer’s marginal inclusion in wrapping up the show’s third year was mildly disappointing after he experienced a roller-coaster season – from playing swallow the Swan (hatch joke) with Kate to killing the man that destroyed his family – but his likely return as a major factor in Season 4 is cause for anticipation.


BEN

Do you get the feeling that Ben is in a long, downward slide that he can’t seem to get out of? As his leadership becomes questioned more often by Richard and others and his decisions appear to go awry more often than not, the pervasive assumption is that Ben’s reign as king of the island is dwindling to a close and that his future is uncertain at best.

He still has a penchant for shortcuts, however, as somehow, he and his daughter, Alex, take a leisurely hike up a mountain and beat Jack and the rest of the survivors – who had an enormous head start – to the radio tower. Perhaps the most meaningful scene that Ben has is when Alex pleads with him and asks him why he doesn’t just let the survivors leave, and he turns to her and seriously intones, “I can’t.”

The question of why he can’t allow that to happen will follow him into Season 4, especially after he asks Tom to kill Sayid, Jin and Bernard; is caught in a lie by Mikhail; is beaten to within an inch of his life by Jack; takes a rabbit punch from Rousseau while tied to a tree; has his power taken from him; and tries unsuccessfully to warn Jack not to use the satellite phone and screams that Naomi is not who they think she is.

Does Ben know his cancer will return if he is removed from the island? Does he know that if the rescuers represent the return of the Dharma Initiative that he so coldly destroyed, they’ll kill him slowly? Is he the mysterious dead body in the coffin? Does he somehow escape and go into hiding on the island? Does he call on some type of island powers that we don’t know about to save him? The image of a bloody, battered, scorned and whiny Ben tied to a tree doesn’t inspire much faith that he’ll be a key character in Season 4 … but he is still Ben and he must be reckoned with.


DESMOND AND PENNY

OK, if the rescue boat doesn’t belong to Penelope, then where is she? Everyone seems to be focused on the identity of the rescuers, but few people are asking where Penny is and how she has been able to make contact with the island. Chah-lie’s final message – “Not Penny’s Boat” – seemed to get through to Desmond, who we have to assume escaped the flooding hatch safely. What will he make of that message and how will he go about trying to find a way to re-establish the lines of communication and transmission with his lost love, Penny?

One theory is that Charles Widmore, Penny’s father, sent Naomi to “finish” Desmond because he had found out that Des was still alive by tracking his daughter’s search efforts. Does her father think so little of Desmond that he wants to beat her to finding him and end his life? Desmond returns to briefly save Chah-lie even after the hobbit delivers him a needless shot to the head with an oar, but does he also possess the resolve to track Penny to wherever she is transmitting from and perhaps even mount a counter-insurgency to whoever is on the rescue boat?

There is little doubt that Penelope and her patient search party will emerge as a very big part of the storyline next season. With Chah-lie out of the picture and the island in turmoil, the story of Des and Penny is sure to be an enormous aspect of the early part of Season 4.


ROUSSEAU AND ALEX

After 16 years, Danielle Rousseau is finally reunited with her daughter, Alex, again in the season finale. Somehow disturbingly, there is a poignant mother-daughter bonding-through-binding scene when they tie up Alex’s “father,” Ben. The duo of Danielle and Alex remain bit players in the series, but a key question will be whether they are among those “rescued.” During their walk to the radio tower, Rousseau is adamant in telling Jack that she won’t leave no matter what, saying, “This is my home now.” Will finally meeting Alex change that stance?

Rousseau has always been in the background, lurking in the jungle until a Lostie needs rescue or dynamite or a bad French accent. Will she be able to convince Alex and her boyfriend, Karl, to remain on the island or will she wish a better life for them? I don’t expect this duo to suddenly emerge as vital characters in Season 4 and beyond, but their story is one that will be essential to what actually happened when the rescue boat was ultimately contacted.


JACOB

Obviously, next to nothing is known about Jacob, so it is fun to throw far-fetched theories at this person or entity, hoping something sticks. Did Jacob send the flash-forward to Jack as a dream geared toward convincing Jack to not let them get rescued? Is Jacob simply a figment of Ben and Locke’s imagination? Is Jacob the embodiment of all the sins and sicknesses of the island and its inhabitants? Is Richard actually Jacob? Is Christian Shepard actually Jacob? Is Locke actually Jacob? Is Sanjaya actually Jacob?

Jacob was introduced almost solely to introduce a Pandora’s Box of questions for “Lost” viewers, to distract Locke for a Ben attack and to serve as a “man behind the curtain,” a technique used similarly in “Wizard of Oz” (obviously) and “Carnivale.” Will he or it eventually earn a more integral and important role than that? We are likely to find out sooner rather than later when Season 4 arrives.


MIKHAIL

The forbidden love child of Jack Bauer and Jason Vorhees, Mikhail has survived a massive electroshock from an enormous power fence, a spear gun to the chest and possibly a grenade exploding in his hand, so we must surmise that he could still be around to haunt the Losties in Season 4. However, even though he obeyed Ben’s order to kill the underwater hotties, his faith in Ben appears to be shaken at best and destroyed at worst.

After seeing Desmond in the boat, he follows Des down to the hatch and discovers Chah-lie, Greta and Bonnie, but when it is time to kill all three, he conveniently forgot why he was down there in the first place: Desmond. He survives Desmond’s speargun attack long enough to remove the spear, swim around with a grenade, taunt Chah-lie and (possibly) sacrifice himself in an effort to destroy the Looking Glass – and ultimately, make Desmond’s vision of Chah-lie’s death a reality.

Though whether Mikhail is still alive isn’t readily clear at the end of the season finale, he began to emerge as a more and more important element of the show as Season 3 progressed. Will he return again in Season 4 to repeatedly laugh at and bitch-slap the Grim Reaper? We shall see.


SAYID, JIN, HURLEY, JULIET, SUN, MICHAEL, WALT, BERNARD, ROSE, ETC.

The stalwarts like Sayid, Jin, Hurley and Sun deserve better than to be lumped into the end here, but they did not progress as characters this season and have basically regressed into one-dimensionality. What we know is that Jin dropped the ball in his part of the dynamite-shooting assault; he, Sayid and Bernard were ordered to be killed by Ben; they weren’t; and they were saved by Hurley. Everything else is up for grabs.

Sayid, Jin and Bernard killed seven Others, Hurley ran over another and Sawyer murdered Tom … but what will the repercussions be, both in terms of spiritually and in the context of the island? Bernard sings like a canary in giving up the location of the rest of the survivors, but he is let off the hook. The return of he and Rose and their humorous back-and-forth was welcomed after a season of silence, but what lies in store for them in Season 4? Will Rose’s cancer return if and when she returns to the real world?

Hurley was severely dismissed by Sawyer when he wants to join the expedition back to camp, with both characters returning to the familiar roles of bully and wimp. However, Hurley saves the day as we were left hanging, wondering whether Sayid, Jin and Bernard were truly killed or not.

What of Juliet? Her shocked face after Sawyer killed Tom made one wonder, if even for a moment, whether she wasn’t still working a countermove with the Others after all. Did she eventually get off the island? What became of her relationship with Jack? Did she remain on the island, and that’s one of the reasons why Jack is so intent to return in the flash-forward?

Ultimately, we have to assume that at least some of the Losties were “rescued” and taken off the island, in exchange for remaining quiet – at the very least, we see that Jack and Kate have returned to America. Now, we are led to believe that they have realized they left something undone, turned the island over to the wrong hands or sacrificed something in the rescue that wasn’t worth it in the long run. So what are they going to do about it? The answer to that query will remain one of the many developments we’ll have to wait for in the interminable time between now and the onset of Season 4. Stay tuned …


Lost Links

June 4, 2007: "Lost": Saying Goodbye To Season Three, Part I

May 10, 2007: "Lost": Harry Potter and the Zany, Mysterious Adventures of Moonlight Graham

April 24, 2007: "Lost": An Island Of Paradoxes

March 29, 2007: The Resurgence of "Lost"?

February 8, 2007: "Lost" V 3.5: Let The Games Begin

November 9, 2006: Mini-Season Makes For Long, Lost Winter Months

November 2, 2006: Vaya Con Dios, Mr. Eko

October 4, 2006: "Lost" In A Sea Of Questions

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Trent To Find Out If It’s Easy Being Green In Miami


Mercifully putting an end to a three-month, drawn-out process that bordered on the ridiculous at times, the Miami Dolphins pulled the trigger on a deal that will bring them Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Trent Green. Miami blinked first in the stalemate, which was created when Kansas City general manager Carl Peterson went back on his word and cancelled an earlier deal for Green. In early March, he agreed to trade the signal-caller to Miami in exchange for a seventh-round pick, but he withdrew the offer after the trades of Atlanta quarterback Matt Schaub to Houston and Miami wideout Wes Welker to New England netted much more signicant compensation. Peterson, who cemented his reputation as a complete dildo throughout the process, decided that he would not accept less than a fourth-rounder for quite some time, and he refused to budge during the NFL Draft. After the parameters of the deal were negotiated through the media for a while, making both sides look bad, Dolphins general manager Randy Mueller and coach Cam Cameron uttered a collective sigh on Tuesday and agreed to a deal they didn’t love. Miami will send a conditional fifth-round pick to Kansas City, with the contingency that the selection will upgrade to a fourth-rounder if Green participates in 70 percent of the Dolphins’ offensive plays in 2007.

“The price for Trent Green was more than Miami was willing to pay, but in the end, Miami felt desperate,” wrote ESPN analyst and South Park’s Mr. Garrison lookalike John Clayton. “June had arrived and time to prepare for training camp was slipping away.” However, Clayton still said Miami came out the winners because of Green’s proven ability to put points on the board – crucial for a Dolphins team that hasn’t averaged 20 points per game since 2002.

So what does Miami get in Green? Despite the fact that the quarterback turns 37 next month, Green has been one of the league’s finest passers over the past six years, earning Pro Bowl nods in both 2003 and 2005 and racking up three straight 4,000-yard seasons from 2003-05. To put that in context, no Dolphins quarterback has thrown for even 3,000 yards since 2001. The 6-3, 217-pounder has thrown for 26,963 yards in his career, with 157 touchdowns, 101 interceptions and 107 starts in 112 games. He has compiled a 56-51 record as a starter after originally being selected in the eight round – a round that doesn’t even exist in the NFL Draft anymore – by the San Diego Chargers in 1993. After a year with the Chargers and another year in the CFL, Green spent four years with the Washington Redskins, two seasons with the St. Louis Rams and the last six with the Chiefs. The 14-year veteran started a Kansas City-franchise-record 80 straight games before suffering a horrific concussion in last year’s season opener and missing seven contests.

That concussion is what led to the bulk of the disagreements between the Dolphins and Chiefs in terms of compensation. Green’s 74.1 passer rating last year was his lowest since 2001 (71.1), and far off his career mark of 87.5. However, the Dolphins are betting that Green returns to form, while the Chiefs elected to go with last year’s second-round pick, Brodie Croyle, and veteran Damon Huard. Kansas City was leery of a 37-year-old quarterback who carried a $7.2 million price tag, but Green renegotiated a new deal with Miami months ago that will pay him around $4 million over three years, more in line with where he is at this stage of his career.

The ‘Fins needed a quarterback of the present to bridge the gap to their quarterback of the future – this year’s second-rounder, John Beck of BYU. Green is seen as a placeholder for (likely) two years while Miami grooms Beck as the heir apparent. The franchise thinks that Green can be a strong mentor for Beck, the first of the Dolphins’ two second-round selections in April. Miami aims to bring Beck – who they view as a younger version of Arizona Cardinals passer Kurt Warner – along slowly and would prefer to keep him off the field in 2007. Cleo Lemon, who recently inked a one-year deal for $1.3 million, is likely to be elevated to the backup position if and when Daunte Culpepper departs.

In more ways than one, Culpepper represents the proverbial elephant in the room. Not only has he gained a lot of weight while losing the mobility that made him one of the league’s top quarterbacks three years ago, but he is making noise that he will cause headaches for Miami after Green’s acquisition. He sent an e-mail to Dolphins beat writers last night saying that he had received clearance from noted surgeon Dr. James Andrews to resume practicing today. Keeping in mind that Culpepper acts as his own agent, it is in his best interest to feign a full recovery – like he did last year – even though his knee likely looks like a pot of burnt spaghetti at this point. As recently as last evening, he professed a willingness to let the competition play out upon Green’s arrival.

“My position on Trent is that the Dolphins should get the best players that they can and let them compete for the starting job,” Culpepper wrote. “I am preparing to practice unless you know something that I don’t.”

With some help from Dolphins management, however, he apparently had a change of heart this morning. Culpepper, who apparently sends more e-mails than a 12-year-old girl, wrote that Mueller and Cameron told him this morning that they are going in a “different direction” at quarterback. Displaying further evidence that Culpepper’s delusion extends off the field as well as on, he went on to say that he told Miami that he’s “not interested” in being traded.

“They would like to trade me in order to ‘get something for me,’” Culpepper wrote in the second e-mail. “They have told me throughout the offseason that I am under contract to the Dolphins. Therefore, it will be up to them to either keep me under contract or release me. In the meantime, I will continue to work out at the facility with the team and prepare myself for training camp, wherever it may be.”

Though the blame only partially lies with him, the reality is that Culpepper serves only as the perfect symbol of the pointless, illogical, doomed and subversive nature of the Nick Saban Era. He was the most significant of a number of nonsensical moves made by Saban, who chose to send a second-round pick to Minnesota for Culpepper instead of no compensation and a smaller contract to land Drew Brees. We all know how that turned out (buy me a beer and I’ll tell you how Brees cost not one, but two, Miami coaches their jobs even though he never played for the Dolphins). In his prime, Culpepper’s threat came as a playground quarterback – a guy who would either launch it as far as he could and trust that Randy Moss would go get it or tuck and run, daring defenders to challenge his 270-pound body in the open field. After major reconstructive surgery on his right knee after a horrible injury in Minnesota two years ago – and another surgery on that knee during the past season – Culpepper has next to zero mobility. The present-day Culpepper is an overweight, aging signal-caller with a slow release and nearly no ability to read defenses or elude the rush. He still has a strong arm, but so does Jeff George – and even Jeff George doesn’t command a $5.5 million salary. So who would be interested in Culpepper at that price in today’s market? The Barcelona Dragons. Maybe.

Assuming that Culpepper will be traded, released or forced to slash his salary dramatically, he won’t be a factor for the Dolphins in 2007 except to serve as a slightly humorous, slightly irritating distraction until he’s officially gone. So let’s get back to why Miami became so enamored with Green. Cameron worked with Green in 1995 and 1996, when Cameron served as Redskins quarterbacks coach while Green was one of the team’s signal-callers. Dolphins quarterbacks coach Terry Shea tutored Green in Kansas City for five of the past six years, including both of Green’s Pro Bowl campaigns. With Miami installing a similar offense with basically the same terminology, Green’s working knowledge of that attack combined with his familiarity with Cameron and Shea made him a perfect fit. He fits Cameron’s view of the offense much better than Culpepper; Green’s bread and butter is making fast decisions and getting the ball out quickly. Plus, he’s likely to have something of a chip on his shoulder – especially toward Peterson – considering the way the Chiefs hung him out to dry. Put that together with his age and experience, and theoretically he’s the perfect fit to help Miami bridge the gap between himself and Beck.

Obviously, there will be no match for Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez, tailback Larry Johnson or the powerful Kansas City offensive line in Miami, but just what will Green have to work with? Green will walk into an offense that is led by a host of players who have yet to reach their full potential. Top wideout Chris Chambers has shown flashes of brilliance, but has yet to put together a complete season of high-level performance. On the other side of the field, Marty Booker is a more complete and professional receiver, but has struggled to stay healthy. First-round draft pick Ted Ginn Jr. is a raw prospect, but has the type of speed that has Cameron salivating as he rubs his fingers together and ponders ways to work him into the offense. New tight end David Martin is perceived to have a high ceiling after outperforming Bubba Franks in Green Bay of late. In his third year, it’s high time that tailback Ronnie Brown justifies his lofty selection as the No. 2 overall pick of the 2005 NFL Draft, while third-rounder Lorenzo Booker is eager to put a disappointing college career at Florida State in the rear-view mirror and prove he is all that most predicted him to be coming out of high school. The offensive line is still a heartburn machine, but the hope is that line coach Hudson Houck can work some magic and turn chicken shit into chicken salad.

The good news is that, barring an unforeseen problem with passing a physical, Green will arrive in time to take part in a three-day Dolphins minicamp that starts on Friday. He’ll be one of five Miami signal-callers on hand, but he’ll be able to start the process of getting comfortable with the Dolphins offense and personnel as training camp quickly approaches.

Green is poised to become the 11th Miami quarterback to start for the franchise since Dandy Dan Marino retired in 1999. If he can manage to put his uniform on without tearing a rotator cuff and don a helmet that doesn’t include a yarmulke, he’ll become the best Dolphins signal-caller in that span – but obviously that’s not saying much when you include the likes of Ray Lucas and A.J. Feeley. When you consider that Miami surrendered second-picks for both Feeley and Culpepper, the fifth-rounder for Green starts to look like a helluva bargain. We’ll find out for sure this fall, but for now it is good to have the Trent Green Sweepstakes in the past – and to finally follow a Dolphins team that appears to have a plan in place and a path to follow.

DOLPHINS LINKS

May 7, 2007: “Samoans Hate Drywall”

April 30, 2007: “Drinking Ginn In Dolphins War Room Leads To Horrific First-Round Pick”

January 22, 2007: “Look Dad, Big Ben … Parliament … Ricky Williams?!”

January 10, 2007: “Geaux To Hell, Saban!”

January 3, 2007: “Saban Leaves As A Loser, Weasel”

January 3, 2007: “Saban, We Hardly Knew Ye … But We Knew Ye Well Enough”

October 26, 2006: “Of Coaching, Qui-Gon Nick Knows Not … Of … Not … Or Something”

Monday, June 04, 2007

"Lost": Saying Goodbye To Season Three, Part I


Despite a commercial roughly every six minutes, the two-hour season finale of "Lost" was heart-thumping every step of the way, throwing an enormous curveball at the end with a tension-filled rendezvous between Jack and Kate in a possible future. The title of the finale, "Through the Looking Glass," points to the question of whether Jack’s alternate reality (post-island) is really a dream, tying into the "Alice in Wonderland" theme. Is the ultimate query whether meddling in the courses of destiny and time brings dire consequences along with it? With the series starting back in February ’08 and running through 2009-10, the writers have 48 episodes remaining to resolve a variety of plot lines.

The finale dealt primarily with the potential rescue of the survivors, Chah-lie’s death, Kate’s love triangle, and Jack’s past, present and future. Since these issues are the likely keys to Season 4, we’ll examine these plot lines in Part I. In Part II, I’ll take a look at Locke, Ben, Sawyer and the remaining survivors, and how their roles might impact the course of the series next year.


JACK

The finale began with a glimpse of a disheveled Jack, bearded and rundown, preparing to attempt suicide after reading a newspaper clipping that appeared to be an obituary of someone close to him. Immediately, questions of whether this was a flashback or flashforward emerged, with Jack once referencing his dead father, Christian. Is it possible that Christian Shephard – Jack’s father, as well as Claire’s – is still alive in an alternate future? After all, Christian’s coffin was empty when Jack found it on the island in Season 1. Of course, another explanation could be that Jack is so banged-up on alcohol and Oxycontin that he has forgotten about his father’s death and even hallucinating.

At the last moment, Jack’s suicide attempt is thwarted by a car accident, and the doctor in him won’t allow him to jump off the bridge without trying to help the victims. He saved an 8-year-old boy and his mother, but it is later revealed that he isn’t a hero, since he, in effect, caused of the wreck because the driver was distracted by seeing him getting ready to leap to his death. Jack’s ex-wife, Sarah, visits him after the accident, but she refuses to even give him a ride home from the hospital.

Jack’s apartment is littered with maps of the Pacific, and when he meets Kate at a deserted location near the airport in the last scene of the finale, he mentions how he uses a "Golden Pass" to fly places as often as he can, hoping for a crash and a return to the island. Does he feel he made a deal with the devil and can’t stand what he sacrificed to get himself – and, presumably Kate and possibly others – off the island? Were the survivors given rescue off the island in exchange for keeping quiet about the island’s existence and never trying to return – is this the root of Jack’s guilt complex? Maybe some of them had to change their names and identities because of the report that Flight 815 was discovered and there were no survivors, and the fact that there was such a dismal funeral in a forgotten part of town with no attendees made Jack reconsider whether it was all worth it. Jack says, "We were not supposed to leave," echoing Locke’s warning just before Jack makes contact with the rescuers by using the satellite phone. "We have to go back," he continues. Also, many have pointed out that Jack is using a KRAZR cell phone in the flash-forward – does time move at a different pace on the island vs. off?

As humorous, pitiful and sad as bearded, alcoholic Jack on Oxy is in the future, island Jack is beset by doubts and events beyond his control. After he is led to believe that Ben had Sayid, Jin and Bernard killed, Jack beats the tar out of Ben and then tells Tom he’s going to find him and kill him. But he doesn’t let Locke’s intervention and killing of Naomi stop him from ultimately contacting the rescue boat and igniting a series of events that apparently led to a departure from the island.

On the island, he finally admits to Kate that he loves her, but their final-scene meeting appears to be illicit and uncomfortable. So how did Jack arrive at a place where he is a suicidal addict? Who is he seeking forgiveness from as he is about to leap to his death? Will Season 4 address Jack’s quest to return to the island to set things right and bring destiny back in line?


KATE

As disheveled and chaotic as Jack looked, Kate defined the other end of the spectrum, looking like a trophy wife in a brand-new Volvo. It is almost as if they have switched places in the future; prior to the plane crash, Jack was a successful, respected doctor, even if he had issues with his father. Meanwhile, Kate was a career criminal and fugitive, dogged by a series of bad decisions and cold-hearted moves. After their rescue, Jack is out of control, while Kate appears to be well off and no longer a fugitive. Are they Bizarro Jack and Bizarro Kate now?

There is a theory that posits that Kate is simply humoring Jack off the island, and that she never actually was on the island or doesn’t remember it, thinking Jack the addict is imagining or hallucinating it all. When Jack asks her if she went to the funeral with the mysterious coffin, she gives a perplexed look and says, "Why would I?", leading some to believe that she doesn’t know the deceased. However, when Jack wearily says that he is "tired of lying," Kate admonishes him and says they need to keep lying, seeming to ruin that theory. At the very least, Jack appears to have broken some kind of trust with Kate; was that a result of how they left the island and the circumstances surrounding it, or because of how he has slid into addiction?

The other burning question is who is the "he" that Kate mentions as having to go back to before "he" starts to wonder where she is. Is she was Sawyer off the island? Is it a son that she had after being impregnated by Sawyer on the island? Did she agree to be rescued because she knew that babies on the island don’t survive? Was removal of her fugitive status another condition of her rescue? She’s not wearing a ring, so she doesn’t seem to be married. Sawyer once told her she "always has to go back for somebody," but does having her own child allow her to turn her back on that inner trait?

Is the identity of "he" another question that will help drive Season 4? Was the disparity in appearance between Jack and Kate a reflection of the true toll that the island took on them, both physically and mentally? Will Kate ultimately aid Jack in his obsession with returning to the island, or accept her new life and go her separate way?


NAOMI AND THE RESCUE BOAT

Ben is certain that Naomi is not who Jack and the rest of the survivors think she is, and that certainly appears to validated when Locke kills (maybe?) Naomi and then Penny admits that the rescue boat is not hers. If we accept that that’s the case, however, who owns the boat and rescues the Losties?

Is it the return of the Dharma Initiative, which was apparently killed off the island by Ben and a rogue band of island dwellers? Are they bent on revenge and taking control of the island once again? Is it someone else interested in exploiting the mysterious gifts that the island appears to possess? Who is or was Naomi after all? Why is Locke sure enough of her betrayal that he nails her with a knife from 75 feet away?

And why is this rescue portrayed as such a dark and evil thing? Do Locke and Ben feel or know that having everyone leave the island will bring back all the afflictions that affected them before – such as Ben’s cancer, Locke’s paralysis, Rose’s cancer, Jin’s impotence, etc.?

In addition, who actually leaves the island on the rescue boat? We have to assume that Locke remains, since we see him fleeing the scene after Jack makes contact on the satellite phone – which rang and rang and rang before someone finally picked it up. Rousseau stated her refusal to leave earlier, but could she convince her new-found daughter, Alex, to stay? Will Ben be allowed to stay; if it is Dharma that is returning, will he be punished for leading an uprising against the initiative years before? What is to become of the rest of the Others, plus the children?


THE COFFIN

Perhaps no aspect of the season finale has been more hotly debated than who resides in the coffin. The identity of the deceased and the circumstances surrounding his or her death appear to be crucial issues that could determine the course of Season 4 and beyond.

The obituary is apparently from the April 5, 2007, edition of the Los Angeles Times. It has been pointed out that that date is the 13th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide, which may have been why "Sentimental Apprentice" from Cobain’s band, Nirvana, was playing as Jack drove to the funeral home. Others have picked up on the fact that the funeral home is in a predominantly black neighborhood as being a significant detail, combining it with the apparent tidbit in the article that says the deceased had a teenage son to make the assumption that it is Michael in the coffin. Also, Michael apparently was approached by the producers of "Lost" to return for the finale and declined, which could make his death a convenient turn of events for a variety of reasons. Kate’s ambivalence toward the death would appear to back up this theory, but would Jack react so emotionally to the news that Michael – a traitor – had died?

Bloggers and diehards have frantically attacked the screen image of the newsprint, trying to make out words and information. The obituary appears to describe a suicide, with someone hanging from a beam in a loft in New York. Some fervently believe that it is Locke who has passed away, and Jack is despondent because he saw Locke as a way back to the island. Others feel that it is Ben in the coffin, and that Jack feels responsible as a doctor because Ben’s cancer returned after he was removed from the island. Still others have posited that it may be a new, future character named Jeremy Bentham.

The coffin is held in the Hoffs-Drawlar funeral parlor, and Jack is the only attendee who came at all. Hoffs-Drawlar is an anagram of "flashforward," but beyond that, the question of who is in the coffin – and the repercussions and ripples of that death – is the biggest mystery of the finale.


CHARLIE

A discussion of the Season 3 finale wouldn’t be complete without touching on the final demise of Chah-lie. For a few moments, it appeared as if Desmond’s vision of Charlie’s death was going to be rendered unnecessary after all, with Charlie even muttering happily, "So much for fate." However, "Lost’s" own Jason Vorhees, Mikhail, appears with a hand grenade to blow up the Looking Glass. Charlie sacrifices his own life to apparently save that of Claire and Aaron, even though it seemed as if he could have escaped along with Desmond.

Just before he dies, and after duplicating a Beach Boys tune to turn off the frequency and allow transmissions, he makes contact with Penelope Widmore, who tells him that the rescue boat reportedly residing 80 miles off the coast of the island isn’t hers. Charlie’s final act is to write "Not Penny’s Boat" on his hand and show it to Desmond through the door glass to let him know that it may be a trap.

This dying message has led to the question of whether Charlie is ultimately redeemed at the end of the show. After all, he gives up his own life to save his true love and her child, then shields Desmond from the blast and passes along the crucial information about the boat. He makes the sign of the cross at the end, but even that is done left-handed, showing that, even in death, Charlie can’t quite seem to get it right.

It did seem odd that Charlie was willing to take a beating from the underwater hotties, Greta and Bonnie, only to tell them about Juliet’s betrayal, opening up the possibility that the entire plan could be ruined before it started.

Despite some questions about what actually was learned and transpired in the Looking Glass and in the course of Charlie’s death, the end of his story arc was well-written and emotional. The question of whether he will begin to appear as a kind ghost from time to time – like Walt – remains to be seen, but it does seem that Charlie’s death will forever be linked to what happens to and between Desmond, Penelope, Claire and Aaron from here going forward.

Click here for Part II …

Lost Links

May 10, 2007: "Lost": Harry Potter and the Zany, Mysterious Adventures of Moonlight Graham

April 24, 2007: "Lost": An Island Of Paradoxes

March 29, 2007: The Resurgence of "Lost"?

February 8, 2007: "Lost" V 3.5: Let The Games Begin

November 9, 2006: Mini-Season Makes For Long, Lost Winter Months
November 2, 2006: Vaya Con Dios, Mr. Eko

October 4, 2006: "Lost" In A Sea Of Questions

Friday, June 01, 2007

Limerick Friday XXXII: NBA = Not Basketball Anymore


Contrary to what Zhao has to say
Absolutely unwatchable is the NBA
Flopping and touch fouls are the norm
Teams score 80 points and think it’s an offensive storm
I’d rather watch Tony Austin sing and on a mini-court play

As June rolls around, can’t you see
It’s already summer in fair Raleigh
Hotter than Cheney’s stolen wig
Makes you crave Gatorade to swig
Inside a cubicle ain’t exactly where you want to be

Pirate Master debuted with no ratings prayer
It’s just like Survivor except even gayer
I couldn’t believe that Christian Okoye is on there
Was wondering what ever happened to the Nigerian Nightmare
All that was missing was Shrek – did you know he attended Strayer?

Are we really thinking of attacking Iran?
Did Ollie North come up with this plan?
For some reason, the most-hated president of all-time
Trying to make one more dumb move with no reason or rhyme
Is it too late to impeach or is that something else W was able to ban?

Mr. Magee once wore a bushy ‘stache
Looked like Sonny Bono (pre-skiing crash)
He was constantly within a week of a mullet
Thought the Cowboys were No. 1 with a bullet
Kissed so much Kya butt he got a brown rash

Limer-inks

Limerick Friday I

Limerick Friday II

Limerick Friday III

Limerick Friday IV

Limerick Friday V

Limerick Friday VI

Limerick Friday VII

Best of … Limerick Friday

Limerick Friday IX

Limerick Friday X

Limerick Friday XI

Limerick Friday XII

Limerick Friday XIII

Limerick Friday XIV

Limerick Friday XV

Limerick Friday XVI

Limerick Friday XVII

Limerick Friday XVIII

Limerick Friday XIX

Limerick Friday XX

Limerick Friday XXI

Limerick Friday XXII

Limerick Friday XXIII

Limerick Friday XXIV

Limerick Friday XXV

Limerick Friday XXVI

Limerick Friday XXVII

Limerick Friday XXVIII

Limerick Friday XXIX

Limerick Friday XXX