Geaux To Hell, Saban!

As Dolphins execs burn up frequent-flier miles to talk to and court a myriad of failed former head coaches, up-and-coming coordinators, college wannabes and other candidates for their head-coaching vacancy, that noted fraud, Nick Saban, tells reporters that he feels like a “little bit of a victim.” The new Crimson Tide pimp couldn’t accept the criticism he repeatedly earned, so he couldn’t stop talking, deciding to deride the Miami personnel department, the ‘Fins fans, the local media and anyone else he could toss under his short bus.

The power of the pen (and keyboard) doesn’t bless any writer with money or fame, but it does come with one overriding truth: the last word. So it was that the Miami media, intent on moving on, instead was forced to respond to Saban’s latest attempts to pass the buck:

“The tombstone on his Dolphins career reads, ‘Talked like a warrior, acted like a weasel.’”
-- Dan Le Batard, Miami Herald, “The Anti-Shula Bails Out As A Greasy, Dishonorable Cow”

“And so Nick Saban flees to Alabama without a syllable of explanation, deciding just to live a lie in the end rather than open his mouth to offer another one.

His legacy? Quitting. His reputation? Failing. His final standing? As low as anyone in South Florida sports history.

For a coach who droned on about "loyalty" and "sacrifice" and the "process of winning," the absurdity surrounding Saban's exit is surpassed only by its hypocrisy. He talked tough and acted righteous, but when the losses kept piling up, he grabbed the money and ran out the side door.

The final days felt so greasy, right to Wednesday's end, it's enough to make you stand under a hot shower just reading about it.”
-- Dave Hyde, Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, “Loyalty? Honor? Saban Should Be Crimson-Faced”

“Every time we turn around, somebody else is laying waste to the image we used to have of our biggest head coaches. Imagine Don Shula ever pulling a Saban.
Imagine Bear Bryant or Vince Lombardi or Bobby Dodd or Chuck Noll.
Just to mention Saban in the same paragraph insults their names.

Don't worry, guys. It won't happen often.”
-- Edwin Pope, Miami Herald, “Dolphins Better Without Saban”

“The amazing thing isn't that Saban told his assistant coaches he was leaving by phone. The amazing thing is that he didn't ask his wife to place the call for him.”

“Saban came here because he wanted to be The Man.
At the end, he wasn't much of one.”
-- Dan Le Batard, Miami Herald, “Saban Loses Truth In Noise”

And finally, this gem from Ethan Skolnick of the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, in a column titled “LSU Fans Feel Your Pain After Jilting,” in which Skolnick discusses how Tigers fans are even more incensed at Saban’s move to Alabama than Dolphins fans.

“You feel used, deceived, cold -- so very cold, like one of your former beloved's glares.

You feel anything but "A-ight," as your former beloved used to say.

You feel as if your trust was tossed like a panama hat, your heart rolled over by the Tide.

You feel alone.

You need a trip to Cajun Country. People there feel your pain. Worse, even. People there feel angry. Angrier, even.

Stand up, Drew Murrell, tell your story.

"It feels like when you are dating the girl next door, doing great," says Murrell, Louisiana State University, Class of '01. "She tells you that she loves you. Then she goes off and dates Brad Pitt. You can't blame her. He's a good-looking guy. Filthy rich. Then you wake up, and she is with your neighbor Pete. Pete has one leg longer than the other, Pete has had better days. Pete even has a big brother that lives in the house."

Brad Pitt? The Dolphins.

Pete? Alabama.

The brother? Auburn, which regularly beats up Alabama.

The lost love? Nick Saban.

You can take solace in knowing that almost all love is lost for him in Louisiana, too.”

Indeed, the hatred of Saban in Cajun Country runs so deep that likenesses of Saban appeared on Port-A-Potties outside the Sugar Bowl as LSU pounded Notre Dame into submission. It runs so deep that a group of fans started a vitriolic Web site, Geaux To Hell Saban, complete with Photoshopped pictures of Saban (examples shown here) that border from the hysterical to the obscene to the frightening to the disturbing – and back to hysterical again.

Think there will be any emotions in the air on November 11, when Saban’s ‘Bama team visits Death Valley to take on LSU? Methinks Saban better watch his back … but by now we all know that’s the only thing he’s good at.