Ahhh ... Limerick Friday is finally here.
We've gone from four responses to two to 42 to 56 to 58.
Let the games begin ...
Confused Brent was feeling quite massage-y
A tight back and neck made him feel somewhat stodgy
Stripping to his boxers by choice was a little gay
But was only uncomfortable when it came time to pay
It was always free when his masseuse was Literace
Goodbye to disgraced Rumsfeld
A joke for the job that he held
“A war!” he said as he planted the seed
Wrote memos for a boss who couldn’t read
Will he answer to the soldiers that he felled?
Where’s Honaker since he got put in detention?
I wonder if they even gave him a pension?
I miss his hilarious weekly newsletter
But methinks he’s in a place even better
Wearing PJs, Googling “naked Scarlett Johansson”
An Evan-sponsored trip to Nags Head
Former Sauceboxes sunburned all red
Collecting seashells the whole day around
Pumpkin lattes and ice cream when the sun goes down
Just make sure Casie has her own room and bed
K-Fed will still be able to pay the rent
Kicked Britney to the curb when she finally was spent
He’ll be able to find more trailer trash
And if he runs out of enough spending cash
He can charge to get a massage from a worshipful Brent
37 comments:
Former co-workers spending time at the beach
When they get depressed, Zhao will give them a speech
“Women can’t control you like some lettuce crisper!”
Before adding in a much quieter whisper
“Um, Will … in the Jacuzzi, please watch where you reach!”
Here's some dirt on Scott Kellam
Hasn't showered in so long you can smell 'em
Playing Xbox all day and night
NotQuiteLeet and Scoogles virtually fight
Peed on Evan's couch but don't tell 'em
i indeed learned a lesson
from last weeks session
i guess i have to be discreet
when it comes to between the sheets
this way i don't leave a bad impression
but this is a new day
and we can talk about Brent being gay
or Will going on dates
with women he hates
flight at 3 means i can't stay
off to cleveland i go
God i hope it doesn't snow
but until that time
i look forward to the rhymes
so try and make them not blow
No story is sadder than Casie Gillette's
Pining for a muscle-bound guy she frets
Reduced to getting love advice from a dude
Who has never once touched a boob
It's just a joke Zhao, cool your jets
I wish my massage had been performed by a lady
And not by the white version of Fred Sanford's friend Grady
i've got thick skin so bring on the barbs
Cause i've got one thing on you 'tards
As far as we know i'm the only one who can make a baby
It's getting old looking at Jack
I miss Kelly's wonderfully fake rack
Say a prayer for those left behind
In Morrisville we might lose our mind
Because our "leaders" lead like on crack
Oh, Casie I really miss the snow
No real winter in Raleigh can really blow
But we do have a great redneck coalition
They’re the same characters you saw with the Gimp in Pulp Fiction
I’m wondering if Brent was Zed’s little leather friend in tow
I love that I get excited by dates,
possibilities they do await,
but then I meet the potential lover,
and disappointment I soon discover,
time to forget brains and try datin' Playmates???????????
New folks gonna sweep us out like dirt
So numb by now it ain't even gonna hurt
We all fit in the Think Tank for a greetin'
By some arse who our eyes he wasn't meetin'
More layoffs are expected, nice and curt
Brent got massaged in his rectum,
for that the boys don't respect'um,
wish that man stayed off his ass,
but that masseuse had no class,
Foley was his name I do reck'un!!!!
Thanks for the funny material Brent, i'm just jealous i've never had a massage. 8-)
Things here at MSI aren't all bad
Tommy D ran off to work for his Dad
And now Ely isn't asking for money
To give to some neckless dummy
Having a paid job search is pretty rad
Paul hasn't touched a boob in ages
He's classified as the biggest loser on stages
But to Paul's surprise
He now gets as much as he wants, opportunities arise
Brent's sister is here, sex is in no shortages.
Ely's always been cool to me
Love the attitude, cool chick she be
I got problem with almost no-one there
Nobody's that much of an ass that makes me stare
Leave MSI people alone, do they still have the candy bowl with Sprees?
Zhao took a break from googling "guy's butts"
And searching MySpace for sluts
To make rude comments about my sister
I gave her a call and have sad news mister
She said she's not into guys with hairless nuts
Anonymous is becoming my pet peeve
If you don't like MSI just leave
Instead of leaving a mean rhyme
Make better use of your time
(insert something about celebrity jeopardy and "threeve")
Nothing wrong w/ Casie taking dating advice
Who better to ask about guys, than guys?
I think it's great when people do research and study the opposite sex
Great knowledge to be found, keep it in your memory index
Great times ahead, Will and Casie will find someone nice.
I see Brent as Canteen Boy
A Scout Master’s personal little toy
“Let me rub that tension away”
“Then we can sing, dance and be gay”
“Around you I can’t hide my joy.”
If you don't like what i say, tough titty
Try working for a company this shitty
Some poker-playing didos ran it into the ground
Out back they played grabass while standing around
For me it''s hard to show pity
i kind of hate anonymous too
his MSI rhymes already blew
yet he continues to write
with such hate and spite
and i want to seal his hands together with glue
I don't know.......I hear Brent's sister is quiet easy
Even with hairless nuts guys, she gets sleasy
As Brent mentioned, search for sluts on Myspace is the way to go
His sister came up, when I was looking for a hoe
Tell me if I'm going too far, Brent, if you wish, I can show some courtesy
(Do you actually have a sister?)
Brando should mind his own bisiness
MSA is ruthless and tries to kill you with kindness
You guys with yur sarcastic comments
Saucebuxes was all mini-Brents
Let me vent about this place's emptyness
Here’s to Old Man Ponytail
At his job he pretty much did fail
He had a good line on some pot
Here’s a tissue Dude, now wipe your nose of that snot
Without any warning he did bail
hey anonymous lock it up
your tears could fill a cup
quit cryin about your hurt feelings
its time to start the healing
we're done feeling bad for the poor schlup
(i don't know if that's a word)
its off to cleveland for this lass
into ohio and out of mass
limericks today were slow to come
the day is still long so post some
have a good weekend all don't be crass
I guess it's ok that you ate our free lunches
Then you just left us in bunches
Maybe you don't shed any tears
For us who cry in O'Malley's beers
Easy for you to say, "Just roll with the punches"
a contest for dirtiest limericks,
for me would be a big hit,
cause i can hit some big booty ass,
with as 'bout as much class,
as a .10 cent whore turning tricks.
yeah i got nothing today. slow rhymin' day.
Ely is the loudest, rudest Cubana around
Scared Zhao apologizes for her from another town
She yells when she's really confused
Takes crackers and burgers to get her defused
She weebles and she wobbles--but she won't fall down
Harry Potter is a brown-nosing bitch
About marketing his doesn't know a stitch
He hangs around because he's a shortsighted fool
But say this for that bespectacled tool
That fucker knows his way around some Quidditch
Anonymous: Kiss my ass-mother fucker! Straight from Ely
Anonymous: Kiss my ass- you mother fucker! Straight from Ely
2 desks covered in glamour shots
2 men's wives for none had the hots
One dweeb watched the Tide through this glasses
The other excelled in kissing people's asses
No one else would touch their bathing suit spots
Folks, let's take a big step back
Anonymous crossed the line with that crack
Limerick Friday is just for fun
Not cheap shots disguised as a pun
An apology is needed or it's class that you lack
Goddam, can't we all fucking get along? Shit. This could be the best fucking company in the goddam world if we would just get off our asses and get this shit done. Enough with the fucking bickering and goddam bantering and let's sell some shit. Fuck. Goddam. Christ. Dammit. Shit."
These limericks have taken a bad turn
Anonymous-in hell you will burn
Posting from the shadows is chicken-shit
Alone in your Mom's basement you probably sit
Maybe a new trade you should learn
I happen to like loud girls with attitudes
Amusing, funny, brightens my moods
Ely and I always dissed each other
But we were cool, I'm like a brother
And who is this Harry Potter Dude?
I guess Anonymous is speaking in code
And coming off like a malignant toad
Harry Potter, what the hell does that mean
All you can do is makes jokes that are obscene
Enjoy your ride down Unemployment Road
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