Showing posts with label "Sopranos". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "Sopranos". Show all posts

Friday, October 07, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: World Laments A Communications Genius, Plus “Foxy Knoxy” Gets Off



The world has way too many knobs
Every politician cheats and robs
Tech ruled by copycats of every kind
So innovation is hard to find
And it just got harder -- RIP Steve Jobs

Wolves’ mouths starting to foam
Look out Cameron and Dean Dome
Pack Nation couldn’t help but be nervous
‘Bout the decision of one Rodney Purvis
One more hometown hero stays home

Just another embarrassing ‘neck
Coming off like a goddam train wreck
On his career he took a shit-ler
By comparing Obama to Hitler
Bocephus: German for “stupid fuck,” I expect

For Tony Sparano, the bell does ring
His Dolphins can’t win for anything
So his time is nearly done
At times it’s been pretty fun
Keep your head on a swivel at the Bada Bing

A mysterious murder in foreign lands
Amanda Knox had a problem on her hands
Never got her story straight
But she used PR pretty great
Now she can make reality-show demands

Last time …

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 41


#1
One of the players for UConn, Roscoe Smith, got a black eye recently. He now looks exactly like Will Smith when he got a food allergy in “Hitch.”

#2
I keep hearing an ad on the radio for a local paving company that specializes in “duck elimination.” And every time I hear it, I picture Paulie Walnuts taking a tire iron to a duck’s knee, and then I start wondering if ducks really have knees, and then I realize I’m not really paying attention to driving and then I usually turn on a CD.

#3
It was amusing to hear all the denigration of the Big East after they lost nine teams in the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament, accompanied by chirping about the “strength” of the ACC with three teams remaining. You can count both UNC and Duke among the teams that won at the buzzer; the Heels didn’t as much win as Washington choked, while the Blue Devils were a missed eight-footer away from going to overtime. And these were both in the round of 32 ... and essentially home games, mind you.
When the league team playing the best right now appears to be Florida State, it’s time to settle down some.

#4
For all you drunk-texters and drunk-Facebookers out there, this is the app for you: “Last Night Never Happened.”

#5
Seeing Virginia Madsen cameo-ing on “The Event” (as a Proverbs-citing, unprepared Senator from Alaska? Hmmm. Reminds me of someone) is a little jarring. Given that I’ve never seen her in a setting that doesn’t involve her going topless, I keep waiting for her to rip off her bra during a conversation with the President.
And the federal Sargeant at Arms must have seen the same movies I did, because he gave the Senator access to her private files as he was confiscating him based purely off a mild flirt.

#6
Was anyone surprised to learn that Chris Webber was a no-show for the ESPN “30 for 30” documentary on the Fab Five (or the Fraud Five, depending on who you ask). I guess the pitch didn’t really resonate with Chris: “Hey, remember that time you cost the Wolverines a chance at a national championship when you called a timeout you didn’t have? Oh yeah, and remember when you then got indicted for lying about taking money and getting Michigan put on probation? That was awesome. Wanna talk about it on camera so the country can relive it with you?”

#7
Elsewhere on “The Event,” Jason Ritter’s character found out his girlfriend was an alien, which didn’t seem to faze him at all. Apparently he always wanted to bang an alien.

#8
I have to say that something has to be done about the state of officiating in college basketball. On the one hand, we’re somehow supposed to applaud the “guts” of officials to make calls at the end of the Pitt-Butler game, with “experts” giving kudos for refs not swallowing the whistle based on game circumstances. But then we’re just supposed to ignore the missed calls at the end of the Washington-UNC and Arizona-Texas games? You can’t have it both ways.
Listen, I’ve never reffed, so I can’t say how hard it is. All I know is it is not good enough.

#9
The tragedy in Japan continues to be a heartbreaking ordeal that we simply can’t look away from. The video footage coming in from the region is truly unbelievable and purely insane, especially this one and this one.
I don’t know if I would call the second videographer brave or bat-shit nuts or what, but simply incredible footage, especially the very end.

#10
On a little more serene note, you can hike the Appalachian Trail in around four minutes, thanks to this tremendous video diary.
Enjoy.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

CONS: Reasons Why Tony Sparano Should Lose His Job In Miami


To paraphrase “Animal House,” boring, losing and conservative is no way to go through life, son. And it has to suck to be Tony Sparano when you’re asked by your owner how in christ’s name you managed to lose to Cleveland, Buffalo and Detroit AT HOME in December. Yet that’s the position he finds himself in these days, with one game left in a season that might be break-even at best.

Yesterday, I took a look at some of the reasons why Sparano could keep his job. In the interest of being fair and balanced (#FeauxNewsjoke), today I offer up just as many reasons why he’ll find himself watching “Sparanos” reruns this offseason instead of game film.

His support is gone. Let’s face it: Sparano was a relative nobody who was hand-picked by a fraud in Bill Parcells. Who is left to have his back, really?

He’s with a franchise where learning on the job isn’t acceptable. Sparano had never even been a coordinator on the NFL level when he was tabbed for the Dolphins job. A lot went very right in his first season, but ever since, Miami’s been run of the mill and he hasn’t established a strong identity as a coach. At what point do you realize that you’re simply hoping that he becomes a good coach and then realize that, as many sales bibles repeat, hope isn’t a strategy?

His specialty has become a weak link. An offensive line coach by trade, Sparano encouraged the Dolphins to spend tons of resources up front. Yet outside of the tackles -- Jake Long and Vernon Carey -- the team has been dominated on the interior, leading to an inability to protect the passer and establish a ground game. Considering the amount of money and the number of draft picks invested along the offensive line, this should at least be the strongest unit on the team, if not in the league. Instead, it’s a borderline disaster, which might be one of the biggest disappointments of the Sparano tenure.

He’s too conservative. Michael Lombardi of NFL Network called Miami a “field goal offense,” and that is as apt a description as I’ve heard. The Dolphins have pissed away a number of games that they dominated throughout simply due to the fact that they play for field goals, leaving themselves no room for error. If that approach is due to personnel, that’s no excuse -- it is his personnel. And I would say that seemingly being willing to allow Chad Henne to drag him onto the unemployment line with him fits under this category as well.

He’s too reliant on Cowboy castoffs. Yes, both Bill Parcells and general manager Jeff Ireland came from Dallas along with Sparano, but Sparano is the guy who signs off on personnel moves. Way too often, this group has targeted rejects from Dallas, and when those guys lose jobs to Cowboys players that brutally underachieved this year, that tells you everything. Unfortunately, this brings back memories of Prick Saban drafting only SEC players or kids he recruited once upon a time, one of the many reasons for his cowardly departure.

He’s a horribly bad fit for the new ownership. Steve Ross announced his arrival at Dolphins headquarters by courting every Latino pop star and C-list celeb who would answer his calls. He’s Little Havana’s answer to Jerry Jones, more interested in the glitz, glam and pub than football. So, needless to say, an owner looking to turn Miami football into an event (like Heat basketball) isn’t going to fall in love with a coach who looks more like a sanitation worker in clothes that don’t fit and loves to play for field position and 13-9 victories. The bottom line is Ross wants to fill seats, and Sparano’s style simply isn’t going to make that an achievable priority.

His tenuous status is already working against him. With all the hubbub about when, not if, he’ll be shit-canned, Sparano finds himself in an exceedingly difficult position: Who is going to want to join the staff of a potentially dead-man-walking coach when offensive coordinator Dan Henning retires after this season? Better yet, what top candidate will want to come when they may -- legitimately -- feel they have a better resume for the head coaching job than the current coach does?

He’s done little to justify passing up sure-thing candidates. The presence of proven commodities like Bill Cowher and Jon Gruden sitting in announcing booths thinking about which job they’d like best hurts young, unproven coaches like Sparano more than most. You have to think some franchise is going to be willing to be a year early in giving up on a coach so as not to miss out on guys like Cowher and Gruden, who likely won’t be around if you need to let Sparano go next year. And to be brutally honest, Sparano simply hasn’t given any reasons to believe a Dolphins team under his leadership would be better in 2011 than one led by someone like Cowher or Gruden.

He’s got a moustache. I like Sparano, I do; but the motorcycle-cop look is pretty hard to take seriously on an NFL sideline. And to be perfectly honest, Miami has already failed in a really, really big way with a mustachioed coach in Dave Wannstedt. The bottom line is Sparano should have shaved the ‘stache the day he got the job.

So there you have it: Nine reasons Sparano will lose his job vs. nine reasons he’ll keep it. We’ll find out in a matter of days which argument wins out in the end.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

PROS: Reasons Why Tony Sparano Should Keep His Job In Miami


On the heels of wrapping up a 1-7 home record and in danger of a second consecutive losing season headed into the finale Sunday, Tony Sparano is in more danger than (#mandatorysopranosjokefollows) “Big Pussy” was after being discovered as a rat. Everyone from Bill Cowher to Jon Gruden to Brian Billick has been discussed as a potential successor, but in this immediate-news world, folks are picking over Sparano’s bones way too early. So I offer up a “Pros” list for why Miami might retain Sparano.

He’s fiery and no-nonsense. Yes, his fist pumps for field goals are becoming the butts of jokes, but that’s what happens when you’re losing. He’s emotional, and I think that’s a good thing for a franchise and a fanbase that has had to fabricate energy over the past dozen years or more.

He’s offensive-minded. OK, fill in your own jokes here, because Miami has been admittedly moribund (yep, I like that word) this year. But for too long, the Dolphins have relied on defensive-minded coaches and philosophies, and if the team could just find a quarterback it trusts, it would be refreshing to have a guy who understands and respects that side of the ball.

He’s proven himself willing to make moves on his staff. Jettisoning Paul Pasqualoni and replacing him with Mike Nolan as defensive coordinator was one of the only bright spots of the 2010 campaign. He changed out special teams coaches midseason when the third phase cost Miami a couple of early games. Of course, the pessimist could argue that he’s putting the wrong guys in place to begin with, but I respect a coach who recognizes a problem and is willing to rectify it.

He deserves a season outside of Parcells’s shadow. He and general manager Jeff Ireland were initially labeled the “Tuna Helpers,” seen only as sycophantic “yes” men for Bill Parcells. With Parcells slinking out of town a failure, quitting on the team he was trying to create, it could be argued that Sparano and Ireland have earned the right to have an offseason and regular season without the Tuna around. This is also another way of saying that it’s too soon, that three years isn’t long enough to determine his worth as a coach despite the troubling trending in the win-loss column.

He treats the fans and media with respect. This is a small thing, seemingly and admittedly, but I spend a lot of money and time following this team. There have been way too many douchebags coaching the Dolphins since Shula left, so I can appreciate the way Sparano interacts with the local scribes, although that relationship has been strained as the losses have mounted. So even though this doesn’t impact the bottom line of wins and losses, I’m still including it because it is important to me to have a coach that I can respect as a person.

His players respect him. This is another welcome change, considering that I got the sense that the players lost respect for Jimmy Johnson (quitter), Nick Saban (insufferable douche) and Cam Cameron (in over his head) in recent years. Sparano has demanded and would have appeared to have earned the respect of his players, and I think that deserves a check mark in his favor.

He wears his sunglasses at night. ‘Nuff said.

He loses weight the right way. Hear that, “Lapband Larry” up there in New York?

He doesn’t broadcast a foot fetish. OK, so this is just another F you to Rex Ryan. I've earned that.

So there you have it: nine iffy reasons that Tony Sparano could earn another year as the head of the Dolphins. Stay tuned for the, um, other side of the argument.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 32


#1
A friend of mine got me hooked on “Sons of Anarchy.” As someone who got engrossed in “Hell’s Angels,” by Hunter S. Thompson, it’s a natural fit, a Sopranos-esque look at balancing immoral and moral lives. Check it out if you get a chance.

#2
So, Stanford has a dude named McGillicuddy. I couldn’t tell you exactly why, but I find that hysterical.

#3
I have ADT as a security service. Now they’re fake-breaking into people’s homes. It may be time to get rid of ADT as a security service.

#4
Nominee for headline of the year: IHOP vs. IHOP. And who’s to say that the International House of Pancakes and the International House of Prayer don’t amount to the same thing for some people?

#5
In case you ever wondered what happens when two complete douches try to conduct an interview, I give you Doug Gottlieb vs. Jim Mora, Jr. Train-wreck funny.

#6
Underrated line of the season in “Mad Men” was Midge describing heroin as “It’s like drinking 100 bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tit.” Somewhere, Amy Winehouse just gave you a slow clap, Midge.

#7
So a coach for Baylor basketball threatened to have a Colombian kid deported if he didn’t sign with the Bears? Are you fucking kidding me? And you wonder why college athletics is becoming such a joke.
On a side note, why isn’t Arizona involved in this recruitment? #politicaljoke

#8
A kid comes by the house selling Pop Corn for the Cub Scouts. We reluctantly buy a bag of popcorn for $20 and the kid takes out a walkie-talkie and relays the order to his Mom idling on the curb. Mom runs the popcorn down to the kid, who already has the paper work signed.
Things have changed a little bit since my days, when Cub Scouts mostly revolved around either trying to burn shit or trying to tie shit so good you couldn’t untie it.

#9
Listening to Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden trying to show who loves Butt Favre more on Monday Night Football reminds me of myself and my two brothers fighting over who gets to be Bo when we watched “Dukes of Hazzard” as kids.
Listening to Cris Collinsworth talk about him on Sunday Night Football just makes me think he wants to get on Favre’s Fave Five for texting fun.

#10
So Nigerian Sesame Street is going to feature an HIV-positive muppet. But in America, Katy Perry’s prodigious sweater puppets are too in-your-face for our kids?

Monday, September 06, 2010

DeMille’s “Gold Coast” Reels You Into The World Of The Privileged, Wayward And Superficial—And It Works In A Big Way


“It was the most mundane of circumstances, but as I started my engine, I experienced an uncustomary flash into the future, and I did not like what I saw.”

“Until very recently, one of the reasons for my honesty was my contentment with my life, the whole social matrix into which I fit and functioned. But when you decide you won’t miss home, what keeps you from stealing the family car to get away?”


A family friend from Long Island, New York, recently told me that his favorite book is “Gold Coast,” by Nelson DeMille, and that he reads it every summer. As I was making pretty good progress on the books that I had determined that I wanted to read this year, I decided on a whim (and that recommendation) to add it to the fold. While my impression was that it fell far short of being considered a classic, I couldn’t help but get reeled into the character sketches, the setting and the lifestyles.

I’ll interject here to say that, as a rule, an introduction should be never be read before the book -- even though I’m re-reading that phrasing and realizing how odd that sounds. It usually gives away far too much of the story and plot, and should be saved until afterwards (though I’m now realizing that I don’t think I ever did go back and read it). This marks the end of the part where I offer you unsolicited advice on how to read a book.

Now, DeMille’s prose was fairly simple, often spiced up with social commentary and some legitimately humorous turns of phrase, but also making use of cheesy foreshadowing and not-so-cryptic lead-ins at the end of chapters. However, the dynamic becomes much more complicated when we are eventually shown some of the hypocrisy of the narrator, John Sutter. Most of his dialogue alternates between humor (“This is not California, where your car accounts for fifty percent of your personality.” and “I shouldn’t have had the fourth or fifth martini. Actually, the fifth was okay. It was the fourth I shouldn’t have had.”) and existentialism (“But I want to tell my children about this; I want to tell them to find their green light, and I wish that for one magic hour on a summer’s evening, a weary nation would pause and reflect, and each man and woman would remember how the world once looked and smelled and felt and how nice it was to draw such supreme comfort and security by the simple act of putting one’s hand into the hand of a father or mother.”). As a result, it is hard to get a sense of what is going on with Sutter, who he is, what makes him tick and what is truly bothering him. He seems both drawn to and repulsed by the preppy, white-collar, too-much-money life, with many of his observations reading like entries from Stuff White People Like.

But a little more than 100 pages into the novel, Sutter appears to the reader to have some type of nervous breakdown -- speculating here, but I’m guessing that barking at a Mafia don’s wife on her property and getting shot at by his soldiers qualifies. From that point on, as Sutter involuntarily but willingly (if that makes sense) gets drawn into the world of Frank Bellarosa, the book starts to read much more like a precursor to “The Sopranos”: following a Mafia big shot as he wades his way through ordinary, day-to-day life, navigating between acceptable and unacceptable social behavior. Though Sutter is offered ways out many different times, it is like he cannot help himself -- like he is fascinated with and mesmerized by watching himself getting nailed by a train in slow-motion, aided by a strange admiration for who and what Bellarosa is.

“‘Tolkien said, ‘It doesn’t do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations if you leave near him.’”

“In some perverse way we can all relate to the rebel, the pirate, the outlaw. His existence is proof that this life does not squash everyone and that today’s superstate cannot get us all into lockstep.”


The harsh reality is that John Sutter is an asshole, plain and simple, self-describing himself as a “preppie thug.” While Bellarosa is painted as the “bad guy” by both society and the Gold Coast community, isn’t it actually Sutter who is being investigated for tax fraud, committing perjury, ostracizing his family and sabotaging his marriage? Even in his own musings, Sutter seems to be aware of his impending slide into misery: “ … showing more ego than judgment, proceeded to ruin his life so he could show everyone a thing or two.” Once the reader becomes cognizant of this identity of Sutter, the idea of narrator-as-asshole brings up lots of issues of trust between you as the reader and Sutter. While I found him to be funny and a smart-ass (both qualities ascribed to me by various people in various, colorful ways), his social, religious, caste and class commentaries within the writing are both thought-provoking and hypocritical.


The book is filled with strange, unexpected turns, but the one plot “twist” that most of the novel revolves around -- the depth of the relationship between Frank and John’s wife, Susan (“I would not describe her as unhappy, but rather as someone who is trying to decide if it’s worth the effort to be unhappy.”) -- is the least surprising, which adds further doubt to the validity of the narrator. How can what seems so obvious to the reader elude Sutter for, what, 500 pages? The hints peppered throughout the book force us to consider whether Sutter intentionally ignored them, since they were never articulated in his voice. Even the FBI guy in the middle, Mancuso (“I am the voice of truth and reality. Listen to my voice. That man will destroy you and your family. And it will be your fault, Mr. Sutter, not his fault. For the love of God, tell him to leave you alone.”), tells Sutter that evil is seductive, making the reader feel as if Sutter HAD to finally be understanding the Susan-Bellarosa dynamic.

“But like I told you once, sometimes you can’t get even. Sometimes you go to take the hit and be happy you’re still on your feet. Then the next time you’re a little tougher and a little smarter.” -- Bellarosa

“Though perhaps like Frank Bellarosa, and like Susan, I should have acted on my more primitive instincts, on fifty thousand years of past human experience. Instead, I rationalized, philosophized, and intellectualized when I should have listened to my emotions, which had always said to me, ‘He is a threat to your survival. Kill him.’” -- Sutter

We also see that Bellarosa is carefully manipulating Sutter throughout, turning him into an Italian in subtle yet marked ways. While it does seem rather far-fetched that a Mafia don would go to these lengths to bring an outsider into the fold, handling him directly, maybe he did legitimately like Sutter. Is that why he gives him so many chances to get out? Or does he just feel some remorse about the shambles he has made of Sutter’s life and marriage?

“‘Whaddya gonna do? You gonna curl up and die? You see a deal, you make a deal.’”

The plot lost credibility with me when a hit on a Mafia don didn’t involve a head shot, allowing Frank to survive thanks to his bullet-proof vest. From then on, the book takes on a bit of a surreal feel, from the odd intentional-boat-sinking by Sutter to Susan’s painting as a symbol of her craziness (“She has flaming-red hair, a sure sign of insanity according to my aunt Cornelia …”). Though I found the wrapup to be sort of trite and overly maudlin, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being intimately wrapped into these people’s lives and feeling almost sorry for the downfalls of the rich, spoiled and unaccountable.

That’s why I was a little surprised to be as excited as I was to see and read the excerpt from “The Gatehouse” -- the sequel to “Gold Coast” -- at the end of the book. Released 18 years after “Gold Coast” was written (1990), it supposedly follows the travails of Sutter as he returns to the Gold Coast after a decade in London, divorced from Susan. I ordered it and will admittedly find some way to fit it into the reading schedule as something of a guilty pleasure.

As to “Gold Coast,” I read it without any preconceived notions or expectations, and while I found it both funnier and less sophisticated than I might have guessed, I was also completely captivated. And at the end of the day, there aren’t many higher compliments you can pay a book.

“‘But like Christ said, ‘What is a man profited if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?’”

“And there was a time, you know, not so long ago, as recently as my own childhood in fact, when everyone believed in the future and eagerly awaited it or rushed to meet it. But now nearly everyone I know or used to know is trying to slow the speed of the world as the future starts to look more and more like someplace you don’t want to be.”

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sopranos Fades To Black Amidst Praise And Complaints


In case you’ve been living in a cave, you know the last true watercooler show, “The Sopranos” ended an eight-year run on Sunday night with a much-anticipated finale. After 55 minutes that appeared to be leading up to a dramatic, tension-filled final scene, the screen simply went black and the wires that have been jiggled by creator David Chase since 1999 simply went still.

The last episode teased us with possibilities right up to the very end, with hints that Tony might be whacked, that Paulie might rat him out, that Tony himself might work with the feds, that A.J. might kill himself or that Janice might finally go off the deep end. Even when Tony gathered with Carmela, A.J. and Meadow in Holsten’s in the final scene, with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” playing, the air was rife with what could occur: Would that suspicious-looking guy who kept eyeing the Sopranos’ table and then ducked into the bathroom – like in the famous “Godfather” scene – come out and blindside Tony? Would Meadow’s trouble with parallel parking interrupt a hit? Would Meadow burst in to announce she’s pregnant? Would someone unexpected walk through the door instead of Meadow? Tony’s expectant face, followed by a fade to black that had half the country cursing their cable companies, left the door open to a host of possibilities.

For a show that redefined what television drama is and should be, one critic made the argument that “any finale would have been a letdown.” Yet the vitriol and disparity of opinion surrounding the conclusion showed just why the series became so popular and revolutionary. Here are some samples of the various reactions:

“The abrupt finale was almost like a prank, a mischievous dig at viewers who had agonized over how television's most addictive series would come to a close.” – International Herald Tribune

“I'm glad Chase didn't go for a clean sweep-up or a cheap twist. The ending he gave us was borderline genius.” – Chicago Sun-Times

“Not a predictable way in which to end what is referred to as the most significant television show ever, but then Chase has reveled in his unpredictability from the start.” – South Bend Tribune

“Creator David Chase cut to black, to end his TV masterpiece 100 percent unresolved ... [with] the genius of an ending that set up every one of the signs of Mafia doom, without pulling the trigger. Nondescript Baseball Cap Guy will forever be drinking coffee in that booth. Gray-Jacket Mook's permanently in the bathroom. The hip-hop gangstas will always be standing at the jukebox. Nobody's whacking anybody." – The Philadelphia Inquirer

“[The audience] robbed the audience of closure. And if it were done to segue into a motion picture sequel, then that kind of crass commercialism shouldn't be tolerated.” – L.A. Weekly

“Anyone who expected a neat and tidy ending, with plot resolution and music over the credits that would tell you what to feel, wasn't paying attention to a series where frayed ends abound.” - The Huffington Post

"One thing for certain: It was just one last, brilliant example of Chase refusing to live within the conventions of television. In a world where resolution is expected, no previous great television series ever has gone out on such a high note of ambiguity, such a lack of denouement." – San Jose Mercury News

"It may have been the greatest double-take -- by the audience -- in the history of American television.” – The Washington Post

“Refusing to play by more traditional series finale rules, "The Sopranos" continued to rattle the pop culture cage Monday in the aftermath of a final episode that infuriated many fans and critics while thrilling others … [But] here's the thing. Any artist who gets people to have such passionate, divergent reactions to his art, well, he's doing what an artist should do. Provoking, making us think, letting the viewer make up his or her own mind about what they have seen, how it will all play out … Great art doesn't shy away from ambiguity. And what David Chase did with "The Sopranos" from thrilling start to haunting conclusion was stay absolutely true to his artistic self.” – Detroit Free Press

“One of the most bizarre -- and frustratingly unsatisfying -- series finales in TV history." – Palm Beach Post

“The episode definitely had its moments, but few of the possibilities viewers had been discussing for weeks came through. How many of these theories below had you heard bounced around in weeks past? None of them happened ...

"If Tony was indeed an anti-hero, the show he helmed came to an anticlimax. There's no question fans will be frustrated. Those who've defended the show all along will claim Chase is brilliant, leaving fans to finish the plotlines in their own minds, while those who had other expectations were likely be furious." – MSNBC

Within the Sopranos family, there is no such thing as a normal family dinner or sharing of onion rings without considering the specter of what might happen hovering above. Tony is facing a looming indictment, a loss of valued friends and a reluctant No. 2 man in Paulie Walnuts. Silvio’s recovery is still in doubt, Bobby and Christopher are both dead and gone, Uncle June is off his rocker, Phil Leotardo has been slain, but Carlo has flipped… so what lies next for the man who has to make all the decisions and determine the course of the family? Carmela is still conflicted about Tony’s dark side, A.J. appears to have some semblance of direction with a girlfriend and a position with a movie production company, and Meadow is ready to resume a legal career and get married. This wasn’t a special, last supper, it was every day of their lives unfolding in a diner; the message is that this has been and remains what life is accepted to be for the Sopranos.

This is not to say that Chase should get a free pass for everything in the final season. The rapid disappearance of Dr. Melfi was dissatisfying and puzzling, as if the writers had to scramble to make her disappear faster than Big Pussy. She has left Tony’s life, but he is far from healed mentally, which is made painfully obvious when he turns a meeting with A.J.’s therapist into a rant about his own dysfunctional childhood and overbearing mother. For a show that proved that nothing is off-limits – with frank portrayals and discussions of violence, sexuality, morality, comedy, superstitions, relationships, bigotry and other issues – there were some noticeable loose ends, but perhaps that is unavoidable when trying to wrap up a series with eight years worth of backstory, plotlines and characters. The title of the finale was “Made In America,” and many have pointed out the broad cross-section of people who were in Holsten’s in the final scene. It appears to be a fitting name for a show that increasingly touched on and explored highly charged political issues, from immigration to the environment to A.J.’s flirtation with joining the Army.

Ironically, Chase’s ending seemed to point out many of the dysfunctions that our society exhibits that are reflected within the show. The outrage and disbelief over the ending was severe enough to sink Web sites and have some calling for Chase’s “whacking.” Hell, even Kelly Ripa said it “was like a cheap one-night stand,” leading us to wonder both how she knows what that is like and what it is about such slutitude that would be worth comparing to a television show. The rampant whining and complaining pointed up one of the traits that has made our society so annoying and tiresome: a sense of entitlement. Viewers plaintively argued that they “deserved” a certain ending after eight years of loyalty. Huh? If these people could get over themselves for exactly long enough to examine the finale in its entirety, they might recognize Chase achieved the ultimate prize for a writer – to have the audience so rapt that they are fervently arguing about their own image of what the ending truly is, was or led to. Yet our collective 15-second attention spans don’t allow most people to look beyond that initial reaction.

Many fans’ disappointment stems from the wonderful way that Chase had built up to a finale that seemed poised to offer an all-out mob war full of the finality of death. The penultimate episode ended with Tony bedded down in a safehouse, cradling an enormous machine gun, seemingly ready to go to war. But Chase has never been about wrapping things up cleanly or precisely, and his brilliance has always been reflected and echoed in his ability to give the viewer the power and freedom to make up their own minds about characters, events and actions. For viewers seeking a black and white – and red – conclusion, they got Chase’s customary shades of gray, swathed in good, evil and empathy.

The finale was open-ended enough to inspire rumors that the “true” ending will be available only on the season DVD or that a movie could be in the offing (Chase would only call a movie “unlikely”). Chase left himself and us enough of an opening that he could come back and address this crazy family again if he so chooses. Even though the HBO site was crashed with a flood of complaints, the episode never had the feeling of a finale, which is perhaps the most masterful aspect of the creator’s work. If nothing else, the ending had everyone talking and coming up with theories. What other drama could have inspired that level of angst, emotion and reaction after eight years? None – which is truly what made The Sopranos one of a kind.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Peyote, Bus Drivers and Asbestos: The Final Days Of “The Sopranos”


“I’m a good guy … basically.”

Amidst the boiling tension and gathering storm clouds that have permeated the final handful of episodes of one of the landmark shows in the history of television, Tony Soprano emerged from a frightening slide into an unavoidable destruction long enough to utter a statement that perfectly sums up the entire series. He has long blamed everyone but himself for his wrongdoings, seemingly trying to convince himself that he is doing everything in his power to live the right way. Yet the “basically” – interjected almost as an aside after a pregnant pause – gives him the leeway to recognize the truth that he is fatally flawed.

As the end quickly approaches, Tony is ultimately revealing himself to have few, if any, redeeming qualities, which is disturbing and problematic for the viewer because the entire core of the show is based around asking the audience to empathize with someone who is the definition of an unsympathetic figure. We have been asked to identify with and process our feelings for a brutal and fractured individual – and by extension, we are led to question what it is that lies within us that allows us to possess any positive justification surrounding Tony. It’s almost as if we are being called on the carpet for being able to feel anything but disgust for Tony, which is one of the reasons why the final season has become so uncomfortable and difficult to watch at times. Yet, despite all of that, why do we still have a painful sense of foreboding for Tony as we watch his undeniable downfall and all that he has created slowly slip away?

How can the same man fiercely protect his daughter’s sensibilities—but to the point where he pulls an “American History X” move on one of the henchmen of his biggest rival? How can the same man treat one of his captains, Christopher Moltisanti, like a son for his entire life, then coldly give up on him and kill him in the aftermath of a car accident? How can the same man stop his son’s suicide attempt and see so many of the same psychological problems within him, yet still berate and belittle him afterwards? How can the same man so painstakingly create a structured mob organization, yet possess no ability to halt or even limit the headstrong, impulsive actions that will give him short-term satisfaction while threatening everything in the long term? Yet even as we shake our heads at Tony’s self-destructive behavior, there is something attractive about his upholding of the “code” surrounding this culture. For every offense or misstep, there is an understood level of meted-out justice, a countermove aimed at forever keeping the balance between action and punishment. Seeing this code in black and white – even as Tony beats Coco within an inch of his life – is somehow welcoming, understated in its effectiveness, especially in a society where justice is so often unjust.

But we are also asked to consider what the impact is of living your life within a cocoon of violence. Does it lead to a separation between fantasy and reality? When Tony kills Christopher, it feels almost like a dream sequence, something that would jar Tony awoke in the comfort of his own bed. But it actually happened, creating a temporary distance between the action and the audience as we attempt to process what happened and all the ripples it will create, even as the show hurtles forward. We are given no time to feel shock or outrage … the show, like life, speeds on. Part of the denouement in these final episodes has been that many aspects of the action appear to be dream-like in context and nature, yet are actually taking place and severely impacting and affecting what comes next and decisions that loom down the road.

And what is the toll that this lifestyle takes on the family dynamic? A.J.’s aborted suicide attempt finally turns Carmela against Tony, possibly forever. Combine that with the part of Italian culture that leads Tony to be offended by and embarrassed by the failures of his eldest son and a scenario has been created where A.J.’s similarities to his father could ultimately bring down the family – and “the family.” These changes were reflected in the reality that most of this episode took place in therapists’ rooms; this undoubtedly could have been called “The Therapy Episode.” Increasingly, depression and the accompanying truth that we pay for what we do in one way or another are depicted almost as another character in the show. This idea is brought home when Dr. Melfi’s shrink suggests—citing “studies”—that talk therapy actually encourages and validates sociopaths, basically saying that Dr. Melfi’s treatment of Tony isn’t helping; that, it is, in fact, enhancing his violent tendencies while hastening his downfall. In a group session, A.J.—who has almost become humorous now, thanks to his complete absorption and adoption of social causes and sympathies—reveals that his grandmother, Tony’s mother, described life as “all a big nothing” to him as a child. She told A.J. that, ultimately, “you die in your own arms” … this from the woman who tried to have her own son killed. Is this proof that we have come full circle with this show as the end nears?

With just two episodes remaining, opposing boss Phil Leotardo looms, out of control, on a vengeful power trip that can only end very badly as he increasingly challenges Tony. For Tony, all the deaths are piling up at the edge of his conscience, figuratively like the asbestos waste dumped at the edge of the New Jersey marsh land as a result of a petty disagreement between him and Phil. Meanwhile, Carmela broods in silence, A.J. resides in a mental hospital under observation, Meadow pursues romance with the son of one of Tony’s captains, and his own crew, in many ways, is still reeling from the losses of Christopher, Vito Liberace and Furio. All of these variables lend to the stifling atmosphere, rife with violence, that lies just beneath the surface of everything, pervading every word and action in the show.

Despite all the outside influences and factors, the conclusion is still a personal one for Tony. He is frantically trying to derive some final meaning out of life, one that appeared to be within his grasp after he was shot, before slipping away. He tries peyote in the desert, searching for signs, wanting to believe that he saw something revealing on his trip. He wants so badly to prove his mother’s message wrong, to rid himself of the feeling of isolation that haunts his every step. For whom can he trust? Who can he turn over responsibility and authority to? Who will eventually take his place as head of the family? Every attempt to groom a successor is met with exasperation. Christopher, the heir apparent, was pulled in 20 different directions and dogged by drug abuse; brother-in-law Bobby Bacala is domesticated, without a killer instinct; Paulie Walnuts is basically a buffoon who doesn’t take anything seriously; his consigliere, Silvio Dante, is just a details man; and A.J. is pursued by his own demons, even if Tony wanted to involve him in “the life.” So Tony continues to scramble for answers, even as the observer recognizes that everything is crumbling down around him.

One of the final scenes of the last episode showed Tony in a session with Dr. Melfi, trying to articulate some truth he feels he’s unearthed. He said that mothers are just like bus drivers, and their children go wrong by spending their lives trying to get back on the bus after being dropped off—instead of just letting it go. It was a remarkably lucid thought for Tony; does it represent the clarity that he has sacrificed so much to pursue? As with everything else in “The Sopranos,” the answer is likely both yes and no.

Basically.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Sopranos Final Season: A House Of Mirrors



“Violence is man re-creating himself.” – Frantz Fanon

As The Sopranos comes down its final stretch, observers have been frantically trying to predict the ending. It’s almost universally accepted that the finale will involve Tony Soprano’s death, leading to widespread speculation concerning by whose hands he’ll meet his ultimate demise.

Since his mother once ordered a hit on him, will his wife, Carmela, or sister, Janice, pull the trigger, bringing the power of women in this series full circle? Or perhaps even Dr. Melfi? Internally, perhaps Christopher Moltisanti, his apprentice, will eventually succumb to his rage concerning the murder of his fiance, Adriana, and seek revenge on Tony, with whom numerous other points of conflict have been brewing? Staying within his own family, will Silvio Dante or, especially, Paulie Walnuts tire of waiting in the wings and pursue a coup d’etat? Maybe Bobby Bacala, Janice’s husband, will be scared enough of reprisals concerning an earlier fight with Tony to make a pre-emptive strike? Or maybe it will be Uncle Junior, who lies wasting away in a retirement home after already shooting Tony once? Or perhaps even the unstable Artie Bucco, owner and chef of Vesuvio, who has blamed Tony for everything that has gone wrong in his life? Are son A.J. or daughter Meadow capable of turning suppressed guilt and anger toward their father into violence?

In the world of more literal enemies and threats to Tony’s DiMeo crime family, the power void and resulting instability within the Lupertazzi family has that organization teetering on the brink of all-out chaos. With Johnny Sack succumbing to cancer so quickly and a hit on one of the assumed potential replacements already occurring, a battle appears to brewing between different factions of that crime family. Phil Leotardo’s health issues once had him pondering an escape from the life, but as he’s seen colleague after colleague fall, he now wonders about his legacy and what he will be remembered for, if anything. He voiced a resolution to stop rolling over, an ominous sign for the DiMeo-Lupertazzi fragile peace. After killing one of Tony’s captains, could Phil’s relationship with Tony sour enough for a previously unthinkable hit on a boss? Or will “Little Carmine,” who has withdrawn from the family, get dragged back in?

Christopher had been his heir apparent, but Tony’s flirtation with Adriana, her ratting out the family to the feds and subsequent murder have created a seemingly irreconcilable rift between the boss and the next-in-line to the throne. Throw in the fact that Christopher won over one of Tony’s girlfriends and Christopher increasingly distancing himself from the family due to his addictions and pursuit of other endeavors such as film-making, and you have a potentially combustible flare-up waiting to happen. One would think that creator David Chase is setting up an inevitable Tony vs. Christopher finale – especially considering the ending of Christopher’s film project, “Cleaver” – but whenever you think you have The Sopranos figured out, Chase hits the monkey over the head with the wrench.

The first couple of episodes of the second part of the final season have dealt with Tony’s increased isolation, distrust and paranoia. As boss, is he surrounded merely by “yes” men, leeches who laugh at his bad jokes and impatiently wait for him to step aside? He’s let down every significant person in his life in some tangible way, so what is he left with? He has stared his own mortality in the face on multiple occasions, increasingly forcing him to evaluate what his life has become and whether he is ultimately turning into his mother. As he takes stock, Tony has become increasingly emotional and erratic, fearing his own death around every corner and seemingly helpless to alter his destiny or what will be written on his tombstone. This internal struggle has allowed Chase to tinker with the pacing during the final nine episodes, starting at a crawl and incrementally ramping up with the rhythm and tension of the show. As a result, The Sopranos takes on the qualities of percolation right now, a slow boil, a simmer that could spark at the slightest turn of a knob. Watching, you begin to wonder which friend is really a foe, which ally is really an enemy, with loyalist is a rat at heart. It all combines to make the final seven episodes a textbook case of dramatic television and storytelling … for a show that may never be adequately replaced.