Limerick Friday #649: Saying Goodbye To A Life Fully Lived -- Day 2,146

What a life he had

When you can look past the sad

Didn't always see eye to eye

But I'm gonna miss that guy

Semper Paratus, Dad

Lotta changes for Dolphin Nation

A mix of doubt and elation

But they finally seem to have a plan

That doesn't involve resurrecting Dan

Just hoping for a playoff win this generation

A welcome distraction

From the fascism faction

"Stranger Things" arrived on the scene

Made me remember being a teen

Before the dread of the world gained traction

A bumpy start for Will Wade

The haters thought they had it made

Then the Wolfpack got a taste

And the Red Road Warriors laid waste

Now into their holes all the clowns fade

Everyone looking to lay blames

And favor certain suck-up names

Frauds and butt sniffers

I guess my way differs

I do the shit and skip the games

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #644: The Halloween When Grier And The 'Fins Finally Turned Into A Pumpkin -- Day 2,050

Ineptitude year after year

With no vision or plan clear

Had pictures of Ross with a goat

So no one had a firing vote

Yet the 'Fins finally shitcanned Grier

State can't get a loan

From the poorhouse zone

Not rich enough to compete

Or football expectations to meet

Might need to run the wishbone

A pilot's never been more scary

Some secrets Stephen King can't bury

A massive plot twist

That everyone missed

High hopes for "Welcome to Derry"

Signs of life

Amid struggle and strife

Bitched the ATL

Though we're still in cap hell

And McDaniel lives under a knife

Accountability a concept foreign

Prepare the boos to keep pourin'

Determined to make this end badly

As Pack fans watch on sadly

Mediocrity, thy name is Doeren

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #636: Nothing Is Great, And Everything Feels Bad -- Day 1,968

Find hope where it belongs

Despite all of the world's wrongs

Heard "Ohio" played off the shelf

And it made me ask myself

Where are this generation's protest songs?

"Ted Lasso" for golf is "Stick"

Owen Wilson does his normal schtick

But it's the summer's feel-good show

If you just let yourself go

And forget how much our country is sick

Football's coming fast

The summer nearly passed

I can't get unhooked

But the 'Fins already seem cooked

Who will play cornerback at last?

A demented, racist coot

And a pedophile to boot

As he wandered around the roof

Hoped someone could make him go poof

And cut out the problem at its root

A dismal June and July

And August makes me want to cry

The Mets are choking something rare

And really don't seem to care

Where does rock bottom actually lie?

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #635: A Sticky And Turbulent Summer Looms -- Day 1,912

The summer is nigh

Spirits are high

Another school year past

It goes by so fast

Treasure it more, my guy

When your franchise is a meme

Your fandom can run outta steam

Bring mercenaries in

And then you don't win

This is what happens to your team

Haven't situationally hit worth beans

Who knows what that means

But the wins keep coming

And the Mets keep on humming

Could get pretty interesting in Queens

It's so hard even trying

Amidst all of the lying

Overwhelm and crowd

Commit crime out loud

All the wrong people are dying

Out in the Edinburgh milieu

There's Kelly Macdonald, too

Has a bit of a "Fringe" feel

Gritty and grey as steel

What a godsend has been "Dept. Q"

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #632: State Wades Into The Post-Keatts Era -- Day 1,828

It's the game that's now played

Everyone deserves to get paid

Adjust to the times

Or pinch all your dimes

Bring on the era of Will Wade

Create your own board for chess

To stay above the mess

Stay one move ahead

And make your own bed

If they're going to pay you less

UNC made the dance

To the glee of sycophants

The fraud persists

Local bias insists

'Tis the season for hypocritical rants

Another place progress did defeat

Raleigh mistakes on repeat

But don't you dare worry

It's part of my origin story

I'll always meet you down on 42nd Street

"Severance" is right up my alley

A blend of irony and reality

This season's gone deep

To make you laugh and weep

Not sure if I'm ready for the finale

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #631: Steaming Pile Of Keatts Manages To Destroy Every Last Shred Of Final Four Goodwill -- Day 1,807

Keatts should have a small amount of fear

For State's tumble to the rear 

The play is too brutal to bear

The fans even struggle to care

Hell, I've turned off two games this year

Entitlement across the team

Solipsism a constant theme

Favoritism a leadership pillar

Management by marketing filler

Fire up every tiny violin meme

Headlines you can't comprehend

Hope you can't even pretend

Ignorance to the core

The evil is what matters more

As our society continues to descend

Every day another lost player

Fans should probably say a prayer

You know it's baseball season

When the Mets have injuries beyond reason

An onion peeled layer by layer

"White Lotus" season three

Is finally winning over me

Was on the fence for a while

But the end of epi two made me smile

Mostly because of "Tune in Tokyo" Chelsea

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #630: It's Been A Month And Nothing Is OK -- Day 1,800

 

While our reps cower

The tools have seized power

Brain cells are lacking

And the crimes are stacking

Locked away in the Irony Tower

For years, they've been stuck in a mire

No matter the talent they did acquire

Culture change needed

With Ben Johnson, they heeded

Did the Bears just nail a coach hire?

Ethics never matter to ESPN

Hypocrisy is a matter of when

Kirk Herbstreit crying on air?

Because OSU won the title, I swear

Journalism just died yet again

"Loudermilk" a breath of fresh air

I giggle at almost every swear

But not just raunchy and overdone

It's got a heart as big as the sun

The emotions for which I did not prepare

As winter storms clear

Spring training is here

As the Mets chase a pennant

Getting used to Soto will take a minute

For Iglesias, I do shed a tear

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #629: "Star Wars" Finds Balance In The Dramedy Force-- Day 1,767

"Skeleton Crew" was a delight

Livening up Tuesday night

It's "Goonies" in space

We all did embrace

I miss it already, all right

Sloppy and one-dimensional play

Crushing losses the order of the day

Injuries and missed shots every night

This is NC State's plight

The Final Four feels so far away

"Severance" back tonight

"Silo" is trying with might

It all seems must-see

Across Apple TV

Bringing great stories to light

A playoff fantasy team

Trying to hold together at the seam

Tricky to navigate

Difficult to speculate

Enter that Galfianakis math meme

Fantasies bordering the absurd

Thought you could quit with a word

But the curves didn't quit

A hold that doesn't diminish a bit

Powerless against the Jaybird

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #628: Yellowjackets, Dolphins, And Overblown Lambs, Oh My-- Day 1,760

"Yellowjackets" had me hooked quick

A good balance of relatable and sick

Clever timeline meld

Good writing to see how they jelled

This is a show that could stick

Another lost season

Mediocrity beyond reason

But Grier remains

And Ross stains

Committing franchise treason

Season 2 came off a little poor

But "Yellowjackets" will never bore

A little neurotic

And a lot chaotic

This was not the season I hoped for

Tyreek can't play in the cold

Half the passes, he can't hold

"Cheetah," they call his loser ass

Not for his speed on the grass

But for how quick he does fold

Delusions on repeat

UNC shotguns its feet

To seem, rather than to be

Is the Tar Hole mentality

A fitting spot for Belicheat

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #622: Don't Look Now, But Here Come The Metsies -- Day 1,564

With every error and trip

Away did the season seem to slip

'Til the Mets found their juice

And cut it all loose

I take it all back, Skip

A College World Series caravan

We believed and knew we can

Heartbreaking finishes

In no way diminishes

What a time it's been for every Pack fan

The situation is dire

But we still can't hire

So you can't build a team

Promotions are a pipe dream

So continue working with your hair on fire

Memorable Citi Field scenes

About what it all means

To sweep the Yanks

With back-to-back spanks

Hope you enjoyed Queens

At ennui do you stare

It's harder to care

Looking for distraction

Or a semblance of action

At least there's the return of "The Bear"

Last time ...

Day 1,498, Quasi-Quarantine: SNL Knocks It Outta The Park With "Ozempic For Ramadan"

👏

Limerick Friday #616: "Curb Your Enthusiasm" Bids Its Final Adieu -- Day 1,495

It never failed to disturb

Or laughingly perturb

Larry David a mensch

Even when making your muscles clench

Man, am I gonna miss "Curb"

Bias is what I would say

Preferential is another way

Make up a new role

To cover up a hole

Gaslighting is the word of the day

All Mets fans hailed

When City Connect was unveiled

I wish it said Queens

Or had more color scenes

But otherwise this concept was nailed

The beach beckons again

Only a matter of when

A coupla days away

I can't wait to stay

And relax with a beer and a pen

A Final Four run

That can't be undone

Now recruiting is lit

The transfer portal won't quit

Keatts with support will be fun

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #614: The Pack Boot-Stomps The Final Four -- Day 1,483

A return to the Final Four

Cements this team in State lore

Never quit, never blink

Love, laugh, and think

And still the Pack wants more

Life on the line never fair

Stress and speed are a pair

Brought up the restaurant maze

But those were some great days

This is the experience of "The Bear"

Board that Phoenix bus

Or Cleveland traffic cuss

State rules the hoops world

And as destiny unfurled

We all asked, "Why not us"

Down we'll dumb it

As morale does plummet

Subtraction by addition

Plus voluntary attrition

Should be a curious Summit

Replacing NC State with Mets shit

Of hope there's not a bit

Lost five in a row

And I just wanna know

Can anybody here fucking hit?!

Last time ...

Day 1,458, Quasi-Quarantine: SNL Takes The Piss Out Of Airbnb Design With Rare Stellar Skit

As a recent host of "Saturday Night Live," the undeniable Sydney Sweeney absolutely nailed this take-down/send-up of the arty pretentiousness of Airbnb culture.

All hail Chanel & Chanel ...

Limerick Friday #611: I'm Always Larry David Now -- Day 1,455

No safety in the suburb

In a world that's disturbed

Outlets are rare

But I just have to share

Still, nothing's as funny as "Curb"

Gave every kind of report

The best in the sport

No scoop he'd lose

The king of NFL news

Rest in peace, Mort

It's a frustrating bunch

They can ruin any lunch

On any call or meeting

A feeling that ain't fleeting

So many faces I'd like to punch

Binged a show or three

On the hunt for the right one for me

Moving toward true crime

Or conspiracies sublime

Makes for interesting TV

Another March madness

Missing a little gladness

State's on the outside looking in

Unless the ACC tourney they win

Prepping for more Wolfpack sadness

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #610: A World Devoid Of Laughs Loses Another Who Created Them -- Day 1,448

The nervous comic

Supplied a laugh tonic

He coped through us

Goodbye, Richard Lewis

To me, you'll always be iconic

The news it does hurtle

There goes the demented fucking turtle

Fade away, Moscow Mitch

You democracy-wrecking bitch

I just want to drink and play Wordle

On the edge of our seats

With rum and popcorn treats

It's the yearly debate

About the state of State

And what to do 'bout ol' Kevin Keatts

Gutless hypocrisy

Useless pomposity

A collective lack of spine

Of cowardice they're the sign

This is today's GOP

Hey, it's spring training

Time for this year's paining

For injuries, New York's the worst

Kodai Senga's the first

For Mets fans, there's no explaining

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #609: "Masters Of The Air" Is Helping Me Escape Care -- Day 1,432

The intensity grates

And increases heart rates

"Masters of the Air" is sublime

Like you're making the bomber climb

Even already knowing their fates

Baseball is upon us

So start up that Mets bus

Another up-and-down season, I fear

But at least it's a "City Connect" year

So I can look good as I cuss

Favoritism & business incest

Chasing out the best

An approach unconventional

That feels intentional

Good luck with the low-performing rest

Inanity in the suburb

Never fails to disturb

Larry David, you mensch

The nigh end makes me clench

Gonna miss so much about "Curb"

Can't drop many more

The ceiling is the floor

Running out of games

A tourney bid in flames

The Pack's gotta find a way to score

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #608: The NFL Hall Of Fame Still Doesn't Understand The Assignment -- Day 1,425

 

Another snub for "Big Game"

And some of the selections were lame

His inclusion overdue

What more can we do?

The Hall without Holt ain't the same

A rough week for hoops

Both teams played like poops

Shooting an issue

Pack fans need a tissue

The problems just play on loops

Of later years did death rob

With a lament and sob

Family, faith, and football

This was it all

For ol' "Bayou Bob"

Helped redefine a position

Hard to believe his omission

Antonio Gates was a beast

He and Philip Rivers would feast

All HOF voters earn derision

Like sake with rice

A show sleek as ice

Yakuza and honor

Every gaijin a goner

Welcome back, "Tokyo Vice"

Last time ...

Day 1,417, Quasi-Qurantine: Stanley Cup Fever Is Not What You Think It Is, Eh?

Proof that SNL has still got it, sometimes.

Also, we are a really fucking weird country ...

Limerick Friday #607: Help Me Help You Was An Unmitigated Disaster -- Day 1,404

The work was shit

Half scapegoat, half idiot

An awful team

Tore apart at the seam

One gone, but the others won't quit

Another lost season

You can pick any reason

Injuries didn't help

But our gameplan was, "Welp

Let's give up 'cause we're freezin'"

Gritty and dark

Forbidding and stark

"True Detective" is back

Eerie-ness it doesn't lack

This season's gonna leave a mark

Keatts blew a fuse

D.J. puked on the news

The refs poor as piss

Wake Forest wouldn't miss

But the Pack refused to lose

To Disney, we're invited

Home to the nearsighted

And endless lines

And culture land mines

Yet somehow I'm still excited

Last time ...