Day 2,407, Quasi-Quarantine: The Scooters Put It All Together In Week 7

After lo so many weeks, the Scooters appear to have started to jell as a squad.

I put up the top point total this week (174.35 points), moving to second in the league in total points and winning my third game in the last four contests. Pretty much every player on my team racked up -- including bench dudes -- in a performance made all the more satisfying due to it coming against a league owner who has changed his mind on two different trades after agreeing to terms. Eat it, clown.

The victory didn't come without some drama, of course. As has been the custom this season, my percentage to win climbed to 88% at one point until some weird shit started happening in the first half of the 4 p.m. games.

Matt Gay missed an easy field goal, my opponent's Bo Nix took off for a record-setting touchdown run from the QB spot, the Raiders didn't target the league's best tight end (Brock Bowers) for more than half the game, and Las Vegas revealed itself to be one of the worst tackling teams in the history of the NFL.

Some measure of sanity eventually prevailed, however, and the Scooters moved to 3-4 on the campaign. Unfortunately, I've once again managed to allow the most fantasy points in the league -- just like last year -- so luck has been found wanting. On the plus side, if you put stock in such things, my percentage chance (apologies to Dan Orlovsky) of making the playoffs is now up to 35%.

Elsewhere, the jackass rando mentioned in previous weeks reached out to me again (I'd like to reiterate my thanks to the commissioner for encouraging him to text me instead of, you know, using the league web site/app/message board/chat feature) and said he wanted one of my players specifically without making an offer. Then, later in the week, he texted again offering to trade like five of his bench players for two of my starters. which makes me wonder if he just goes around making aimless, unstructured, and pointless trade requests to every owners in the league or just me.

Fucking unreal, man.

Anyway. 

Go Scooters.

Day 2,405, Quasi-Quarantine: Merciful, Arguably Belated End To Dave Doeren Era Gives Wolfpack Faithful Something To Dream On

After a number of years of salvaging his career with a flurry of late-season wins over mediocre opponents, a victory over UNC, and an appearance in a mid-tier bowl, Dave Doeren officially ran out of "get out of jail free" cards at NC State. Athletic director Boo Corrigan fired him less than 24 hours after the latest in a string of firing-worthy debacles, this time a rock-bottom loss at Stanford.

Despite playing one of the worst schedules imaginable, the Pack has been outscored by 34 points in the second halves of games this season as part of posting a 3-4 overall record and a 1-3 mark in league play. Everyone but Dave Doeren seemed to accept that everything was broken and nothing was salvageable.

So how will Doeren's tenure be remembered at NC State? He's a complicated figure among Wolfpack faithful: the all-time leader in victories as a coach, someone who understood and dominated the rivalry with the Tar Heels, a program manager who specialized in helping turn unheralded prospects into bonafide contributors.

But also a coach who tended to pass blame, struggled with clock and game management, made poor staff assignments, didn't allocate NIL resources efficiently, and overall was incapable of adjusting to the evolution of the sport.

There are a segment of Pack fans who'd like to tell you that Doeren did well with limited resources and represented the school well. And others who point out that he made $5.5 million per year and State actually ranks in the top half of the ACC in NIL budget, rendering an underdog narrative both inaccurate and misleading.

All that to say there were still a few folks on the fence about finally ending the 14-year Doeren era (fourth-longest tenure of any coach in college football). In our binary culture, some will try to convince you he's the worst coach of all time and others who will say he's the best NC State could do. The truth is in the middle: Doeren was a flawed coach who accomplished some good things in Raleigh but also never adapted to what his role demands.

There was a time you could take a two-star North Carolina kid, lock them into the strength & conditioning program under Dantonio Burnette, let them develop for three years, and have a two-year contributor and fringe NFL prospect at the end of the process. That's not how college football works anymore and Doeren simply wasn't capable of adjusting.

I'm sure Corrigan's conversation with Doeren on that fateful Saturday was difficult, and the stubbornness that made Dave a steady coach made it impossible for him to accept the inevitable, even after overseeing his team -- coming off a bye, mind you -- getting pantsed by the league's worst team running JV-level plays. Hence Doeren refusing to resign, forcing a school he said he loved to pay him $10 million it will struggle to afford, and making the AD shit-can him midseason.

While a national search for the next Wolfpack coach will certainly ensue, most expect State to make Philip Rivers say no before seriously considering other candidates. That being said, the vast majority of Pack fans would have preferred freshman quarterback Gunner Rivers be player-coach next year instead of seeing another season of Doeren on the sideline.

Dave Doeren finished his career with a 9-4 record against Cheater Hill, and that will buy him some warm regard with NC State fans as the years pass and the current frustration subsides. But it was beyond time for him to step down, and the way he chose to deny and handle that will be difficult to forget as well.

So yes, considering Doeren's legacy in the context of NC State football is complicated. What isn't is that the program instantly becomes less apathetic and more hopeful even in its current state -- without a permanent coach.

And that tells you everything you need to know about the end of this era.

Day 2,400 Quasi-Quarantine: Prehistoric Fiction Gets The Master's Touch In "The Inheritors"

 

“ … To-morrow was secure and the day after that so remote that no one would bother to think of it. Life was exquisitely allayed hunger.”

William Golding's second novel -- after the timeless "Lord of the Flies" -- documents the clash of cultures and values that takes place when Neanderthal meets homo sapiens.

"The Inheritors" follows Lok and Fa as they help a small tribe of Neanderthals try to survive under constant threat of fire, water, and hunger. When their unit meets the mysterious and more-developed horde of homo sapiens, heartbreak and misunderstanding ensue.

“‘There is no Ha. The Ha scent has ended.’”

“The other had tugged at the strings that bound him to Fa and Mal and Liku and the rest of the people. The strings were not the ornament of life but its substance. If they broke, a man would die. All at once he was hungry for someone's eyes to meet his and recognize him.”

While homo sapiens repeatedly demonstrates mastery of tools and higher-level intelligence, it is the Neanderthal that comes across as more sophisticated in terms of relationships, communication, and connection to the land.

“‘They are like the river and the fall, they are a people of the fall; nothing stands against them.’”

If you've read any of this blog, it's not much of a surprise that William Golding is one of my favorite authors. "Free Fall," "Pincher Martin," and "Lord of the Flies" are classics, and "The Inheritors" sits alongside those in terms of pure excellence. 

Can you imagine starting your career as a novelist with "Lord of the Flies" and "The Inheritors" as your first two books?! Golding was obviously under pressure to deliver a worthy follow-up to "Lord of the Flies" -- my favorite book of all time -- and did so by completing his first draft in a month ... despite him being a full-time teacher. On top of that, his children say that "The Inheritors" was his favorite among his novels.

“I am like a pool, he thought, some tide has filled me, the sand is swirling, the waters are obscured and strange things are creeping out of the cracks and crannies in my mind.”

Like many of Golding's books, this one explores the tension between capital-N "Nature" and human nature, and how the reverberations of that tension impact feelings of isolation and community. In "The Inheritors," the author delves into how the two tribes have gone from living with the land to trying to bend the land to your will in a single generation.

Golding does fascinating things with language and perspective as he embraces the challenge of documenting a species that didn't possess speech in the way we think of it. The result is occasional confusion in following certain events and exchanges ... but the payoff is a truly emotional and unforgettable example of prehistoric fiction.

“He peered forward past the sail to see what lay at the other end of the lake, but it was so long, and there was such a flashing from the water that he could not see if the line of darkness had an ending.”

Day 2,399, Quasi-Quarantine: A Thudding Return To Earth In Week 6 For The Scooters

A brief two-game winning streak came to an end quickly based on a disastrous bye week that saw the Scooters unable to overcome six (6) players on bye.

As you might have expected, I was active in trade talks in an attempt to bolster the roster for this week and beyond. A rando texted me (the commish gave him my number for unknown reasons) and said he wanted to "get one of my players off me." But he didn't offer a trade. And he had a straight-up bad roster. The next day I made a respectable offer that likely would have helped both of us, but he never responded. 

Obviously, this is a continuation of what is just a deeply bizarre league. I mean, one owner has eight (8) running backs on his roster. Another has three (3) defenses/special teams! Slightly less ridiculous are the two teams with four quarterbacks (none on IR).

Weird league, man.

Anyway, I unfortunately ended up having to start Wan'Dale Robinson and Kendrick Bourne at wideout -- and those two combined for just under 11 points. 

At running back, Rhamondre Stephenson and Emanuel Wilson were projected for 26 points and ended up scoring under nine combined. Brock Bowers didn't get a target until the fourth quarter somehow. With six players on bye, I simply couldn't afford my standouts to underperform, and that's what happened.

The result is a 2-4 record, though there is room for optimism based on being on the other side of a massive bye week. Here's to lighting up the waiver wires and hitting on a lottery ticket or two.

Onward.

Day 2,392, Quasi-Quarantine: Don't Look Now, But The Scooters Have Arrived

After scoring well over 300 points in the last two weeks, the Scooters have secured back-to-back wins and pushed their playoff chances up to 29%.

Of course, being the Scooters, we had to sweat a little despite having a 99% chance to win at halftime of the 4 p.m. games. The number dipped to 88% after my opponent got a million garbage-time points, and I actually had to fade Mark Andrews dropping two passes and fumbling in the Sunday night game in order to hold on.

The highlight of the week was a major trade with the commish that brought me Lions receiver Amon-Ra St. Brown and Chargers quarterback Justin Herbert, in exchange for Cowboys signal-caller Dak Prescott and wideout George Pickens. While Pickens predictably picked this week to rack up 25+ points and St. Brown was oddly quiet in a game that saw Detroit score more than 40 points, I think long term this will be a strong acquisition for me.

Overall, I'm feeling better about the squad despite a 2-3 record. Some strong waiver-wire work (landing running backs Braelon Allen of the Jets and Emanuel Wilson of the Seahawks) has given me much more depth and broader flex options.

I can't get too optimistic, of course, staring directly in the face of a week where I have six (6) players on bye. But we'll try to manufacture a way through to keep some semblance of momentum going.

Onward, Scooters.

Day 2,386, Quasi-Quarantine: The Scooters Finally Get On The Fucking Board In Week FOUR

Well ... the Scooters aren't going defeated this year.

We overcome a mind-numbing start to put up a whopping 170 points this week, the second-highest total in the league. Everybody contributed -- even (to a high degree of frustration) almost everybody on my bench.

Early on in the 1 p.m. games, D'Andre Swift had two touchdowns overturned in three plays. The first was a clear score and there is no way the second should have been overturned, so you can imagine that the nerves were hitting hard at that point. For good measure, Swift would go on to fumble and be benched.

I benched both Rhamondre Stevenson and Tucker Kraft late, and they both scored touchdowns (although, to be fair, Kraft also dropped one and I have Brock Bowers as well at tight end). Dak Prescott had a massive passing day, but Dallas had three short rushing scores and George Pickens somehow only had three targets. When Kenneth Gainwell scored a TD off the bench, "fuck everything" was featuring prominently in my game notes.

But big weeks from Joe Burrow, Emanuel Wilson, Tee Higgins, and Will Reichard followed, and I ended up winning by a cool 50 points.

The next order of business is to explore a fairly sizeable trade that could reset the roster at 1-3. Stay tuned.

Way to be, Scooters.

Day 2,385, Quasi-Quarantine: Meticulous Research Of "The Guns Of August" Gives Me A WWI Education

“The muffled tongue of Big Ben tolled nine by the clock as the cortege left the palace, but on history’s clock it was sunset, and the sun of the old world was setting in a dying blaze of splendor never to be seen again.”

Barbara W. Tuchman's painstakingly assembled account of the first month of World War I is an absorbing read despite its hefty weight, both physically and emotionally. The author does a tremendous job of weaving a narrative amid horrific circumstances without shying away from questioning the character of certain leaders (Sir John French, in particular, suffers a withering depiction).

“They were twelve days in which world history wavered between two courses and the Germans came so close to victory that they reached out and touched it between the Aisne and the Marne.”

“No more distressing moment can ever face a British government than that which requires it to come to a hard and fast and specific decision.”

The character sketches are done carefully, though there are some unintentionally funny physical descriptions to keep you entertained if you're so inclined. Since "The Guns of August: The Outbreak of World War I" runs to well over 600 pages, you are likely to be so inclined.

“Erect and good-looking in a disciplined way, with straightforward eyes and a sensible mustache …” 

“A trim, well-set-up officer of sixty-one with a direct glance and energetic mustache turned up at the corners …”

If there are any quibbles, it is that the assassination of Franz Ferdinand as an inciting factor was given scant attention. A reader might also benefit from a glossary of the main characters, as it was difficult to keep all the leaders and military personnel straight.

“The impetus of existing plans is always stronger than the impulse to change.”

“If there has to be a choice between injustice and disorder, said Goethe, the German prefers injustice.”

Tuchman also carefully renders the reality that war during that era was largely about trying to find the enemy before miscommunication destroys any advantages you might have, knowingly or unknowingly. The result is an account worthy of the Pulitzer Price (awarded in 1963), as well a sad reminder of the brutal mistakes we continue to make despite repeated lessons.

“When every autumn people said it could not last through the winter, and when every spring there was still no end in sight, only the hope that out of it all some good would accrue to mankind kept men and nations fighting.”