From humble beginnings, Limerick Friday was resurrected to little fanfare. A week later, the buzz was somewhat greater, but the masses still did not want to believe. Seven days later, they surrendered their inhibitions, unleashing 42 responses in support of the new tradition. A week ago, readers generated a whopping 58 replies, cementing Limerick Friday as the greatest day of the week.
Where will this trend end? Bent and cowering at the bottom of the stairs like a Slinky? Or taking over our lives like Al Gore's Internet? You hold its fate in your hands. Choose wisely, you rhyming bastards.
Carry on.
To Raleigh comes ranked Georgia Tech
Calvin Johnson is tall, strong and fast as heck
Reggie Ball is 32 years old
On his arm I’m not so sold
I hope any yellow’s not for flags but for the Ramblin’ Wreck
Pondering a life without BizFlow,
There’s a hole in my heart, don’t you know
I’m sure it cost several mil
But it made sense to no one but Bill
A Speak ‘N’ Spell woulda been a better way to go
It’s going to be cold tomorrow at Notre Dame
I hope the few true Heels left see a good game
Pray for no shutout to Touchdown Jesus
We told you Bunting blew, but no one believed us
Butch Davis ain’t coming, so it’ll be more of the same
Creepy as hell and named Green River
He made every last one of us shiver
Dressed up for Halloween as a priest
Introduced himself to Casie 10 times at least
His favorite meal is Chianti, fava beans and liver*
The Brandow Witch Project did creepy sound
Bravely tested the Devil’s Tramping Ground
Though scared, he pushed on further
Like Hack chasing a Wendy’s burger
He cursed more than Pat at every ghost around
* For those who don’t know, this is a reference from “Silence of the Lambs” (see (#21 on this list). I swear it is funny.
58 comments:
Calvin Johnson is the best receiver bar none.
That game won't be much fun.
it could be worse I feel,
we could be fans of the TarHeels.
They will be lucky to score One.
I'm not sure this topic I should be startin'
But I know scooter misses Jeff Martin.
And his brother Pat
Whose free lunches made us all fat.
Orient Garden kept us all fartin'.
UNC never got much traction
Losing game after game by more than a fraction
Bunting was bad
His teams were so sad
Nothing Cheers up Carolina fans like man-on-man action
Fridays can be boring
Cause I'd rather be in bed snoring
But when I turn on my computer
and there is a limerick from scooter
I can't be brought down even if it's pouring
Comments are great, lymrics are fun
No posts about halloween adventures from anybody, not even one?
What have you become, is everyone grown up?
Do we say "nice to meet you, great seeing you again", instead of "whatzzup"
Somebody post about Haloween adventures, now that it's gone.
zhao is a dandy,
he loves his candy.
can't get enough of halloween,
even as grim reaper, they are on his peen.
I hope one wasn't named Andy.
I went out trick-or-treating for Halloween
Ate so much candy it was obscene
But someone handed out a gafilte fish
And said "Dude, it's a Dell, if you wish!"
Now I know what literally literally means
Good call on laying off Garrett French
Now pull some Joe Shmos off of the bench
Who wants their news from some rubes?
Search Engine Lowdown by noobs
Like a strip show starring Dame Judy Dench
Three TV Guide experts named Scooter, Evan & Brent,
who watched "Lost" everywhere they went,
their lives it did consume,
they'll be watching in their tomb,
for camping out on their couch they are hell bent.
oh please don't start with the msi
we did that last week made me want to cry
I mean there's got to be something better
I heard that steve is a bed wetter
can we talk about something happier or at least try?
Anonymous carries a grudge like a log
If you're sad, you need to go buy a dog
You made Beantown Casie shed a tear
You made a former manager say, "Oh, dear"
Talking about MSI is like "pulling a Chewie" on my blog
A comment from Zhao is like gold
His analysis never gets old
He often has me in stiches
Telling Will how to get in girls britches
When he hasn't had poon in so long his weenus is covered in mold
A she-male pulling a chewie
Headed for the john and took a louie
At first she loved scooter
Destroyed the think tank with her pooter
Took 3 flushes cause it was gooey
I know just what Casie means
Time to blow that place to smithereens
A company meeting could be held in the Think Tank
Lies about how we can get your company ranked
I thought of Marco as I ate my enchilada with fried beans
Steve took his first flight
Where did he fly to last night?
He circled round Keira Knightly's house
Trying to look down her blouse
Only left when on came the gas light
Where the heck has Tony got off to?
No time even for a simple haiku?
I hope he is eating chicken fingers somewhere
And that he puts another show on the air
He's pretty hip for a guy from BYU
We never heard about Casie's Halloween costume
Did she go as Marlee Matlin with better perfume?
Did she find candy all over town?
Did she drink until she could stand upside down?
Or did she get lost and just go back to her room?
Ken tried hard to be a player
His stache couldn't be gayer
Bought Kya a fine wine stopper
Her ass was a harmonica he was john popper
As useless as Shrek's degree from Strayer
ahh yes broke out the ole practice duds
did my best to pick up some studs
I wore a sweat band on my head
and did not end up in my own bed
the neighbors probably heard some thuds
When NC State wants to lose,
they pick football games to snooze,
they only win win they should not,
they have losses like Chaney has blood clots,
It makes State Hillbillies drink their moonshine booze.
Sorry Brent, I never told Will how to get into girls' pants
I don't think it's his intentions anyway, he has other plans
I don't think he just wants to get into a girl's hole
I think finding a good relationship is his goal
I just want him to not be a pushover for women, and take a stance
Adam was a 250-pound eight-year-old
Thought he could move up, so out he sold
Great at talking loud and saying nothing
About being in charge he was bluffing
He never let the kishke and borsht get cold
Wow, good for you and him (and another him?)
There goes the reputation of proper and prim
If the Mini Cooper's rockin'
Better find another key to put your lock in
Clean it up, Gillette -- this is no Penthouse Forum!
damn Casie! Paul wants more,
Zhao is pulling down his drawers,
he thinks this story is really hot,
how she met some guy and hit it right on the spot,
was the "thud" from hitting it on the floor?????
The wrong story for our online dating stars
Zhao and Stanley are as hard up as Veronica Mars
I hope Will and Paul aren't close to each other
It might spark something undercover
Like in Chapel Hill, you'll need to separate them with a crowbar
Anonymous is some fat ass from MSI
who's got balls of a little fruit fly,
i'm sure he'd get his ass kicked
if i saw him i'd be hell bent
kiss your own ass goodbye.
I’m now an aviation tool of democracy
Defending the skies from limerick hypocrisy
I’m looking at my aerial chart
With balloons fill with water from Kmart
Delivering the mother of all sorties on Brent B.
Brent could get some,
but "Lost" takes away his wife's fun,
No matter she thinks "his majesty" is better,
then brent at making her wetter,
keeps him around for the puns.
did that just come from brent brandow
how to respond I just don't know
this topic is a free for all for will
writing dirty limericks and jammin to built to spill
I'm gonna go sit in the corner and wallow
Sorry Will you'll never be me
For starters, i stand when i pee
Old scorpion tits will put out if you feed her
Just don't tell her about the rash on your peter
Sorry i had to regulate like Warren G
Keira Knightly no longer holds my fascination
Her skin and bones look of starvation
She is absolutely the wrong beaver
I’ll leave my autographed Keira posters to Ward Cleaver
And bring someone else into the dirty imagination
What's with the personal attacks?
One after another in stacks.
I'm all about having fun in life,
Until I have kids and a wife,
Wow, that would suck so bad.
will is full of tension
dood is so old he should collect pension
He needs to get some like Now
so he can layoff Mr. Brandow
Or maybe Will just likes the attention
Brent, what's the deal with you and jokes about masturbate
How old are you, six, seven, or eight?
I think it's great that Casie had fun Halloween night
I went out and got drunk, unlike people who are uptight
Got a few numbers, which will probably turn into dates.
Steve Martin once said that great comedians poke fun equally at themselves and at others so I'm making fun of myself this week.
Casie said I wet the bed
“Can’t be, I wear an adult diaper,” I said
It may have leaked
I’ll take a peek
Oh No, maybe before bed I should hit the head
(thanks Brent)
there once was a girl named minette
i'd puke if she ever got wet
but maybe for zhao
it could be a nice plow
she'd pass out in the middle I bet
evans so young to be fat,
he's going to be 27 with a heart attack,
it's so cute he takes up for NC State cousins,
they're inbreeds related by incestious lovin',
he'd be healthy if pork rinds were a health breakfast snack.
Zhao, don't take such offense by and by
Relax about jokes made on the fly
Learn to appreciate a good pun
Don't pretend you're the only one having fun
Just because you got drunk on two sips of Asahi Super Dry
I'm sure I'm not the only one
that thought Halloween night was fun
You guys should post your adventures
And tell us all what you did even if it's off-colored.
Don't let Halloween go by wastefully, appreciate it, treasure it, they don't have it in Japan.
see how much funnier things became
when I mentioned the walk of shame
paul don’t worry about the pokes
these guys are all good folks
they're just keeping limerick Friday from becoming lame
Brandow no way you can win,
unless you count watching TV for hours on end,
i'll say "hey, look, Mork & Mindy just came on",
and you'll turn you're head faster then PM spanks Dawn,
hurry, find the fat fold the remotes in!!!
Casie, about the rhymes, I'm not mad
A fun time by all we had
I'm now all about peace and harmony
Helping people out, decrease the world' agony
Wow, I sound grown up, that's bad.
Evan & Paul right bad limericks,
often as Lohan collects tickets,
makes me think they're young,
but no excuse for bad puns,
thoughts of Zhao and Minette together makes me so sick.
Who exactly is Minette?
Is she so unattractive that she never receives a bouquet?
That kinda sucks for her
If she reads this, trouble she will stir
With all this talking about her, hope she doesn't get upset
will and evan need to be nice
cracking on each other way more than twice
no need to make fun
about will and paul not getting some
maybe they do and just keep it quiet like mice
The limmericks today are pretty weak
Camel Clutch you, would the Iron Sheik
the topics today are pretty slow
the best we got is casie bein' a ho.
Celebrate its Friday and the end of the week
All these limericks sound the same
Have you guys let hurt feelings make you tame?
I guess MSI is now out of bounds
Even tho it is run by mysoginist, fist-pounding clowns
Am I allowed to say that Jud looks like Jim Carrey on cocaine?
that would be "writing" Edgar Allen Poe wannabe.
C'mon guys, maybe sweet Casie found love
Saw a dude in a Douche Bag outfit that she dug
Roses danced through her mind
As he softly asked her, "Be mine"
But nothing left to show except burns from a rug
wow will...out of bounds...i am def. done for the day on that one
"Gettin some" isn't tough in a city.
Lots of easy women who're drunk on weekends, take advantage, show no pity.
Personally, I think "finding the right one" is the tough part
Find a girl I wouldn't get sick of, I'm having a rough start
Maybe one day, I'll catch serendipity.
A dead-ringer for Ichabod Crane
With an Adam's apple as big as her brain
More than a little touched in the head
From sales, thought she'd try blogging instead
Now starring in "Sleepy Hollow 2: MSI's Gone Down the Drain"
Sorry Casie. Only one of these knuckleheads i'd apologize too. I'll bring it back to PG-13.
Will, some of those just ain't rite
Tho funny if you read them just write
I think Casie's learned her lesson
'Bout sharing her trysts, then asking for our blessin'
Who's got a new topic about which we can right?
no more making fun of casie
even though we love the stories o-so racey
never wished any will that was ill
some just have pent up frustration, ahemmm Will?!
Woody Woodpecker in the parade by Macy's.
A jackleg who looks just like Harry Potter
Tried to steal credit from Brent and Scotter
Shared gross pictures of his wife's birth canal
Coworkers had never seen anything as foul
Now he's reduced to working out of Marco's locker
Fairbury Steaks was his specialty
Up a Managers ass, is where he'll be
He went to Alabama and used to scream "Roll Tide"
Now he'll be in a parade, supporting Gay Pride
he and john revil were big butt buddies
Fire on the Mountain Run Boy Run
Devil's in the House of the Rising Sun
thus is the end of Limmerick Friday
It was pick on Casie Day
She's a good Sport, it was all in fun.
Have a good weekend All.
Crass remarks opened Casie's eyes
But she knows she's just one of the guys
She didn't want to be the topic of the day
But her limerick said let's not speak of MSI this Friday
Now she'll say, "Why don't you guys pick on MSI?"
:)
Have a great weekend, all!
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