Showing posts with label Marketing/Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marketing/Writing. Show all posts

Friday, August 09, 2024

Limerick Friday #625: The OBX, Ever On The Horizon -- Day 1,606


No matter how long it took
Can't wait for that ocean overlook
The view is the best
From atop the crow's nest
With a cooler and a book

Frauds abound
Ineptitude astounds
Voluntary attrition
The desired condition
But man these fuckers just stick around

Football races near
As camp hits its gear
Hope mixed with dread
At the season ahead
But still just glad it's here

Barnacles cling
Try to horn in on a thing
Don't contribute shit
But want the credit
Easy to see this approach's king

Salt in the air
Wind in your hair
The waves roar
The beach does restore
As you let go of every care


Monday, August 05, 2024

Day 1,602, Quasi-Quarantine: Multitasking At The Marriott

 

A recent travel opportunity landed me in New Bern, where I somehow found myself doing all of the following:
Two of those things aren't exactly out of the ordinary for me, but all five at once along the banks of the Neuse River represented a bit of a departure.

I've had worse days "off."

Stay on that grind, Scooter!

Friday, July 19, 2024

Limerick Friday #623: When You Have To Form A Team To Ask What Your Culture Is -- Day 1,585


Myopic and weak
Ineptitude at its peak
Gaslighting the norm
In hypocrite form
So the outlook's pretty bleak

It's gone off the rails
With managerial fails
Stop making me say, "Newman!"
And just be a fucking human
This is how marketing fails

A much-needed break
A deep breath to take
It's All-Star week
And time to take a peek
At whether the Mets are real or fake

Frauds and posers
Barnacles and hosers
Take care of your shit
Stop being a nitwit
Buncha fucking losers

The bullshit piling
So much fake smiling
The beach beckons
Not soon enough, I reckons
So TPS reports I'll keep filing


Tuesday, June 04, 2024

Day 1,540, Quasi-Quarantine: Bleeding, Weeping, Writing, And Drinking

 


"Writing is easy. You simply sit down at the typewriter, open your veins, and bleed." 
~Red Smith

While in Dublin last summer, we noticed this offering behind the hotel bar and had to seek it out for sale in the city.

The last couple of weeks of work have brought the message home while making me want to reach for it several times during the course of a workday. I do try to remind myself that I actively chose this life.

Slainte, friends.

Monday, April 29, 2024

Day 1,504, Quasi-Quarantine: An Artist And A Stakeholder Walk Into A Bar ...


I feel so very seen.

I also want to laugh, cry, and dry-heave all at the same time.

Friday, June 16, 2023

Limerick Friday #587: All Signs Point To Escaping The Country -- Day 1,189


By the most generous of views
Just finding way to lose
Baserunning like the blind
Fielding of the worst kind
The Mets make me reach for booze

Ineptitude abounds
Direction confounds
"Hark, what do I hear?"
As I loom over a beer
Oh, just incompetence sounds

He pulled every grammatical lever
Of punctuation he always said "Never!"
To Cormac McCarthy, rest in peace
His legacy will never cease
America's best novelist ever

Consistency they lack
Step forward, step back
In the standings they fall
With sloppy ball
Will Buck end up getting the sack?

As quality we keep wreckin'
'Tis time to leave, I reckon
Pour me black gold
Watch the drama unfold
As the British Isles beckon


Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Day 703, Quasi-Quarantine: Resurrecting "The Cable Guy" On Super Bowl Sunday


"The Cable Guy" is low-key one of my favorite comedies of all time, and just a phenomenal vehicle for peak Jim Carrey.

Now, a quarter-century later, Carrey reprised his role as Ernie "Chip" Douglas for a Verizon Super Bowl commercial. In the spot, the cable guy learns that 5G Internet has rendered his ubiquitous cable superfluous.

In a mostly-miss roster of Super Bowl ads, "Goodbye Cable" blends nostalgia and technology in a rather irresistible way. 

Kudos, Verizon. All that was missing was a lead-in PSA reminding viewers never to go bungee jumping in Mexico.

They just don't have the regulations.

Friday, October 22, 2021

Limerick Friday #523: Joining The "Squid Game" Season -- Day 587


"Squid Game" hit the scene
Both touching and obscene
"Gganbu" a masterpiece
Tonight come faster, please
So I can see what happens, I mean

The 'Fins are a joke, I confess
How to escape this fucking mess?
Hope is subliminal
So trade for a criminal?
We're outta ideas, I guess

Red was the start
Tattoo your heart
Years stretched too far
Time caught in a jar
Intrigue at this part

If you wanna be filled with dread
Watch this show, instead
Not TWD
No longer for me
Now it's "Fear the Walking Dead"

Budgets be cuttin'
Ideas, we got nuttin'
Inspiration we lack
Posturing doesn't track
Maybe I'll get help from Button



Tuesday, December 08, 2020

Day 268, Quasi-Quarantine: Feliz Navidad From An Advertising Institution


For me, Christmas season doesn't truly start until I see Corona's "O Tannenpalm" commercial for the first time.

Considered the longest-running beer commercial, this spot first aired in 1990. Apparently, it was a difficult shoot that involved alligators, according to an anniversary video that aired a couple of years ago.

To what can we attribute its longevity and how beloved it has become? It could be the idea of getting away from the stress of the holidays. It could be its simplicity, a quiet scene marked only be a few bars of "O Tannenbaum." It could be that we all mostly wish we are drunk 24/7 during the holiday season (especially in 2020).

No matter the reason, it has certainly stuck with me, since apparently I also documented this phenomenon with some deep thoughts in 2012. And maybe no reason is actually needed -- just a cold beer, a few Christmas lights, and some alone time.

Salud.

Monday, November 30, 2020

Monday, November 16, 2020

Day 246, Quasi-Quarantine: We All See It, Flo



Welp, Progressive has done it again. Their "Dr. Rick" ad campaign has become a favorite of the entire family, creating a number of oft-used punchlines.

This is what passes for entertainment during a pandemic, folks. Bear with us.

Friday, September 11, 2020

Limerick Friday #479: Joshy Rosen, We Hardly Knew Ye -- Day 180


For 'bout a minute we were posin'
Thought we'd found a chosen
But then we reckoned
We pissed away a fifth and a second
For three games of Josh Rosen

We all wear sweats and Lycra
Trading laces for Velcro
Now it's words we're heeding
Escaping into reading
And now my fiction's gone micro

Teams that seem untenable
And best described as complainable
We throw around promotions
For going through the motions
Is any of this sustainable?

For a football jersey they'll pay
Then curse the player all day
Booing acts of unity
Hypocrisy with impunity
Football's back -- yay?

Hate did hold sway
The world changed in every way
Heroes were identified
As a nation cried
Thinking of NYC today


Friday, May 01, 2020

Limerick Friday #464: It's May, Have We Told You How Much We Rock Lately? -- Day 47


Let's gather round, kids
And toast what some of us dids
Did you kill it or slay?
Did you rock or crush today?
Let us tell us how great us is

A one-man content band
Spreading copy over the land
Morale did plummet
'Cuz of virtual Summit
Shit's over, now beer my hand

She's 16 now
But, I mean ... how?
A birthday in the yard
Love in a crafty card
Quasi-quarantine can't stop the wow

A torrent on the scene
Rained so much 'twas obscene
It felt like piling on
I mean, really, c'mon
Not cool, COVID-19

White terrorism does lurk
Leadership gone berserk
Rotten from the top
Ignorance doesn't stop
Will Darwinism finally work?


Monday, January 21, 2019

Scooter & Hum's Top Five Books of the Year 2018



On a recuperative post-Christmas trip to the beach, I discovered a massive book sale and loaded up on a number of finds. Then, on returning home, I was confronted with another nearby going-out-of-business event at a local bookstore, and made multiple trips, list of preferred titles in hand.

The universe had sent a number of signs, and so I heeded. I was to read in 2018, and so I did. I went ahead and read more than 30 books of various genres, topics, and narrative styles. I've taken a stab at trying to pick the best of the lot amidst a whirlwind year of reading.

Without further ado ...


#1. "Confederacy of Dunces," by John Kennedy Toole

What I Say Now:

A hysterical, transformative work that is almost as interesting as the story behind its writing and posthumous publication. I thought the ending could have been a bit stronger, but Ignatius C. Reilly is among the most memorable characters in American literature, and I look forward to finding his statue in New Orleans sometime. Toole's talent was staggering, and it's quite a loss to consider what other masterpieces he might have written. 

Passages to Remember: 

"I dust a bit," Ignatius told the policeman. "In addition, I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain reels from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip."

"This stuff in here is fascinating," Myrna said, indicating the tablet through which she was flipping. "Genesis of nihilism."

"Leaving New Orleans also frightened me considerably. Outside of the city limits the heart of darkness, the true wasteland begins."

"Her logic was a combination of half-truths and cliches, her worldview a compound of misconceptions deriving from a history of our nation as written from the perspective of a subway tunnel."

"Ignatius, we better go," Mrs. Reilly said and belched.
"What?" Ignatius bellowed. "We must stay to watch the corruption. It's already beginning to set in."


#2. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," by Ken Kesey

What I Say Now:

This masterpiece ended up being more complex than I anticipated, with more going on under the surface than would first appear. There were times when I questioned whether Mac or Ratched was the villain, due to the questionable ethics and subtext of a protagonist like R.P. McMurphy. The brilliance of this work was probably somewhat lost under the weight of its success as a movie.

Passages to Remember: 

" ... You think this is too horrible to have really happened, this is too awful to be the truth! ... But it's the truth even if it didn't happen."

"Practice has steadied and strengthened her until now she wields a sure power that extends in all directions on hair-like wires too small for anybody's eyes but mine; I see her sit in the center of this web of wires like a watchful robot, tend her network with mechanical insect skill, know every second which wire runs where and just what current to send up to get the results she wants."

"She's lost a little battle here today, but it's a minor battle in a big war that she's been winning and that she'll go on winning ... She'll go on winning, just like the Combine, because she has all the power of the Combine behind her."

"Nobody complains about all the fog. I know why, now: as bad as it is, you can slip back in it and feel safe. That's what McMurphy can't understand, us wanting to be safe. He keeps trying to drag us out of the fog, out in the open where we'd be easy to get at."

"Because he knows you have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy ... He won't let the pain blot out the humor no more'n he'll let the humor blot out the pain."


#3. "A Brief History of Seven Killings," by Marlon James

What I Say Now:

The patois can make it a dense read at times and it can be hard to follow (perhaps by design), but this novel features brilliant character-building. NPR called it a "beautiful mess" and "a story that makes a reader work," and the New York Times called it "exhilarating and exhausting," so it's not for everyone. But if you can forge your way through, the reward is a multifaceted treasure. For true.

Passages to Remember: 

"From this stew of pimento, gunshot blood, running water and sweet Rhythms comes the Singer, a sound in the air but also a living breathing sufferah who is always where he's from no matter where he's at."

"The dream didn't leave, people just don't know a nightmare when they right in the middle of one."

"And killing don't need no reason. This is ghetto. Reason is for rich people. We have madness."

"Like me she realise that right and wrong is just two words some fool invent and what really matter is what I have over you and what you have under me."

"Jamaica never gets worse or better, it just finds new ways to stay the same. You can't change the country, but maybe you can change yourself."


#4. "Another Country," by James Baldwin

What I Say Now:

With momentous themes like racism and pervasive, fluid sexuality, this work feels bold for 1961 (indications are it was written over a span of 15 years). A massive plot twist occurred relatively early on, setting the stage for Baldwin's torrid, excellent writing to punctuate the ending. He is at his best spinning dialogue, and those skills were on fully display in this memorable novel.

Passages to Remember: 

"He knew that Harlem was a battlefield and that a war was being waged there day and night -- but of the war aims he knew nothing."

"And he himself felt, in a way he had not felt before, that it was time for him to take the plunge. This was the water, the people in this room; it impressed him, certainly, as far from fine, but it was the only water there was."

"They were oddly equal: perhaps each could teach the other, concerning love, what neither now knew. And they were equal in that both were afraid of what unanswerable and unimaginable riddles might be uncovered in so merciless a light."

"He stared into his cup, noting that black coffee was not black, but deep brown. Not many things in the world were really black, not even the night, not even the mines. And the light was not white, either, even the palest light held within itself some hint of its origins, in fire. He thought to himself that he had at last got what he wanted, the truth out of Ida, or the true Ida; and he did not know how he was going to live with it."

"Love," she said, and watched the cold sunlight. She thought of the cold river and of the dead black boy, their friend. She closed her eyes. "Love," she said, again, "love."


#5. "Empire Falls," by Richard Russo

What I Say Now:

On the surface, this book is a down-home, simple look at Main Street USA, with its inherent secrets and backstories that live just underneath everything. However, Russo's usage of shifting perspectives -- moving from the point of view of Miles Roby to other characters -- is both clever and difficult to pull off as a writer. This novel also formed the backbone of a decent miniseries on HBO to boot.

Passages to Remember: 

"What he discovered was that violating his own nature wasn't nearly as unpleasant or difficult as he'd imagined. In fact, looking around Empire Falls, he got the distinct impression that people did it every day."

"He seemed, the old man's doctor observed, to be dying from within, the surest sign of which was an almost biblical flatulence."

"It was easier to believe in God, she said, or at least the possibility of God, on Martha's Vineyard than it was in Empire Falls. Miles knew what she meant, understood the bitter irony. Half the cars in the Vineyard chapel's lot were either Mercedes or Lexuses. No surprise that their owners believe that God was in His heaven."

"To his surprise, she leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, a kiss so full of affection that it dispelled the awkwardness, even as it caused Miles's heart to plummet, because all kisses are calibrated and this one revealed the great chasm between affection and love."

"Wasn't there something in a father, he asked himself, some extra sense, that should've told him right where she'd be? Wasn't she his only daughter? A better father would've been able to find her blindfolded, in the dark, attracted by the invisible beacon of her suffering ... Thankfully, seeing Tick alive and well was enough to confirm his sense that his best destiny in life was as this child's father."


Honorable Mention (in 10 words or less):

"Pincher Martin," by William Golding: Harrowing, detailed depiction of dying, going crazy in isolation.
"Hellhound on His Trail," by Hampton Sides: Meticulously researched, fascinating tale that suffers from verbose, obtuse language. 
"Razor's Edge," by W. Somerset Maugham: Strong start somewhat diminished by petering end, overly philosophical prose.
"All Our Wrong Todays," by Elan Mastai: Breezy, digestible, slick read marked by highly emotional ending.


The Rest (in 5 words or less):

"Dogs of War," by Frederick Forsyth: Procedural soldier-of-fortune tale.
"QB: The Making of a Modern Quarterback," by Bruce Feldman: Interesting, but too much Dilfer.
"Billion Dollar Ball," by Gilbert M. Gaul: Formulaic, repetitive evisceration of NCAA.
"Hearts in Suspension," by Stephen King and University of Maine Press: So-so biography, great short story.
"The Hanging Girl," by Jussi Adler-Olsen: European mystery lacking Larsson oomph.
"The Last Season," by Stuart Stevens: Father-son tale veers maudlin.
"Cradle: A Novel," by Arthur C. Clarke: Worst book of year ... ever? 
"Robert F. Kennedy," by Jack Newfield: Wrenching re-creation of lost hope.
"Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead," by Sara Gran: Fun depiction of New Orleans.
"Writing Movies for Profit," by Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon: Hilarious insider view of Hollywood.
"Fatherland," by Robert Harris: Exciting read hits too close.
"Outsider," by Stephen King: Above-average, derivative King effort.
"Dear Fahrenheit 451," by Annie Spence: Amusing love note to libraries.
"The Girl on the Train," by Paula Hawkins: Absorbing story with iffy writing.
"Heart-Shaped Box," by Joe Hill: Promising debut from King's son.
"Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting," by Syd Field: Painstaking manual from legendary screenwriter.
"Jack Kerouac: A Biography," by Tom Clark: Straightforward bio of iconic Beatnik.
"Flight or Fright," by Stephen King and Bev Vincent: Collection of terrifying flying tales.
"Elevation," by Stephen King: Emotional short story recalls "Thinner."
"Scrum: A Breathtakingly Brief and Agile Introduction," by Chris Sims and Hillary Louise Johnson: Blessedly short explanation of agile.
"The Agile Mind-Set: Making Agile Processes Work," by Gil Broza: Another work read, strongly detailed.



Monday, January 15, 2018

Scooter & Hum’s Top Five Books of the Year 2017



In a year littered with strong candidates, coming up with the top five books I read in the past 12 months was as difficult as ever. Compounding the challenge was the presence of a couple of books whose cultural impact lent them more consideration than they otherwise would have warranted. As a result, Cory Doctorow’s “Walkway” landing outside the top five by a hair was as tough an omission as I can remember during the Scooties selection process—made even harder by the fact that I exchanged emails with the author during the course of the year. Entering the second decade of the Scooties’ existence, I look forward to more such dilemmas in coming years.

Without further ado …


#1: "The High Mountains of Portugal," by Yann Martel 

What I Say Now:

In the spirit of Stephen King, Martel picked up the kernel of a story he began a quarter-century before, finishing it when he was a more mature and nuanced writer. “The High Mountains of Portugal” achieves an admirable balance of shock, brilliance, and the comic absurd in nearly equal parts. To me, Martel is a treasure, as previous Scooties have demonstrated, and this book is a worthy successor to his previous works of art.

Passages to Remember: 

"When he looks in his eyes in the mirror when he shaves, he sees empty rooms. And the way he goes about his days, he is a ghost who haunts his own life."

"A man or a woman may not need to work so hard to live, but a cog in a system must turn ceaselessly."

"Long before Darwin, a priest lucid in his madness encountered four chimpanzees on a forlorn island in Africa and hit upon a great truth: We are risen apes, not fallen angels."

"Mostly, though, we went about with quiet, reserved insanity. It's what you do."

"Odo is a being of the present moment, Peter realizes. Of the river of time, he worries about neither its spring nor its delta."

"Because to suffer and do nothing is to be nothing, while to suffer and do something is to become someone."


#2: "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn," by Betty Smith

What I Say Now:

Essentially an autobiography, this story evoked real emotion that snuck up on you while building a subtle sense of shared experience with the characters. Smith’s prose was sparse but moving, elevating this book to well-deserved stature as perhaps the defining depiction of poverty-stricken, wartime New York City. As an added bonus, "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" served as an ode to reading, spurring numerous hipster tattoos.

Passages to Remember: 

"Sometimes when you had nothing at all and it was raining and you were alone in the flat, it was wonderful to know that you could have something even though it was only a cup of black and bitter coffee."

"The Nolans just couldn't get enough of life. They lived their own lives up to the hilt but that wasn't enough. They had to fill in on the lives of all the people they made contact with."

"Feeling his arms around her and instinctively adjusting herself to his rhythm, Katie knew that he was the man she wanted. She'd ask nothing more than to look at him and to listen to him for the rest of her life. Then and there, she decided that those privileges were worth slaving for all her life."

"The sad thing was in the knowing that all their nerve would get them nowhere in the world and that they were lost as all people in Brooklyn seem lost when the day is nearly over and even though the sun is still bright, it is thin and doesn't give you warmth when it shines on you."

"One delves into the imagination and finds beauty there. The writer, like the artist, must strive for beauty always."
"What is beauty?" asked the child.
"I can think of no better definition than Keats': 'Beauty is truth, truth beauty.'"
"Francie took her courage into her two hands and said, "Those stories are the truth."

"Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost."

"If there was only one tree like that in the world, you would think it was beautiful," said Katie. "But because there are so many, you just can't see how beautiful it really is."


#3: "Doomed City," by Arkady & Boris Strugatsky

What I Say Now:

This story by the Strugatsky brothers was hugely controversial in the context of Communist Russia, but despite that backdrop, it was funnier than expected, evoking “Animal Farm” and “Catch-22” at times. There was admittedly a lot of symbolism and satire to wade through, making the book confusing and hard to follow at times. The brothers were clearly working on a number of levels, but the end result was an interesting read as well as a compelling political and social commentary.

Passages to Remember: 

"'The Experiment is the Experiment,' said the Mentor. 'It's not understanding that is required of you but something quite different.'
'What?'
'If one only knew ...'"

"Well, great writers are always grouching too. It's their normal condition, because they are society's sick conscience, although society doesn't have the slightest suspicion that they even exist."

"You're being asked a simple question: Can a society exist without creative talents?"

"Deeds should be worshipped, not statues. And maybe not even deeds should be worshipped. Because everyone only does what he's capable of doing. One makes a revolution, another makes a tin whistle. Maybe I only have enough strength for a tin whistle--so that does mean I'm shit?"

"A myth is a description of a real event as perceived by a fool and refined by a poet."


#4: "Hillbilly Elegy," by J.D. Vance

What I Say Now:

Vance’s book was trumped (pun intended) as an explanation for the ascension of Trumpism. However, in retrospect, it’s difficult to view the story outside the prism of it as a launching pad for Vance’s burgeoning conservative political career. He rightly points out the “cognitive dissonance” that Southerners experience when their perception of self doesn’t match up with reality; the choice to embrace a disconnect between their world and their values. The book fails, however, when Vance attempts to turn himself into a superhero, refusing to take responsibility and trivializing violence and destructive behavior as somehow justified or a rote fact of life in a region. Though a number of analogies fell short and Vance very clearly and evasively avoids any talk of potential solutions, “Hillbilly Elegy” ends up here due to its relative importance in the national discussion and its attempt to explain the inexplicable.

Passages to Remember: 

"There is a cultural movement in the white working class to blame problems on society or the government, and that movement gains adherents by the day."

"How much of our lives, good and bad, should we credit to our personal decisions, and how much is just the inheritance of our culture, our families, and our parents who have failed their children?"

" ... being a hillbilly meant sometimes not knowing the difference between love and war."


#5: "Sleeping Beauties," by Stephen and Owen King

What I Say Now:

The unique father-son writing format drew me in, and the plot line itself was endlessly absorbing. However, the dialogue felt a bit off for a Stephen King work, and the book suffered from some repetition and unwieldy language, which may reflect the impact of son Owen King. The story fell apart a bit at the end, with some loose ends left untied and a seeming rush to conclude. Overall, a worthwhile read and an intriguing consideration due to the father-son dynamic.

Passages to Remember: 

"Another part of getting older: you forgot what you wanted to remember, and remembered what you wanted to forget."

" ... People loved their pets, often with a degree of openness they couldn't allow themselves to express toward other people."

"Something flickered in Lila's mind, the mental equivalent of a glittering fleck in the sand, quickly washed over by a frothing wave."

"The Internet is a bright house standing above a dark cellar with a dirt floor. Falsehoods sprout like mushrooms in that cellar. Some are tasty; many are poisonous."

"The rain sounded like an ocean being stirred."

"What did any of it mean? What was the point?
"Terry decided the point might be a gun. He got out Frank's flask and had a tug."

"Loss changes you. Sometimes that's bad. Sometimes it's good. Either way, you eat your goddam pork chop and go on."


Honorable Mention (in 10 words or less):

"Walkaway," by Cory Doctorow: Absorbing, clever tech tale damaged by unrealistic, Sorkin-like dialogue.
"Two Gentlemen of Lebowski," by Adam Bertocci: Hysterical quick read cleverly translates Dude into highly quotable stanzas.
"Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," by Samuel Langhorne Clemens: Reread of literary treasure ineligible for Scooties, but welcomed excellence.
"Letterman: The Last King of Late Night," Jason Zinoman: Iffy writing somewhat sabotages biography of tortured entertainment genius.
"Content Rules,” by Ann Handley & C.C. Chapman: Good, if dated, resource collection somewhat offset by unlanded humor.
"The Open Organization," Jim Whitehurst: Manual for tech innovation through creative abrasion, tension-driven collaboration.
"Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," by Robert M. Pirsig: Overrated tale of bad father motorcycling, thinking in fortune cookies.