Someone took a dump on the Senate floor
Karl Rove and Newt Gingrich are top suspects, for sure
Usually, politicians don’t give a crap
They don’t like to let pooping interrupt their nap
But it smelled even worse than usual near the White House front door
Angel Cabrera was the winner that no one did expect
Last man standing after Oakmont made sure everyone else wrecked
He doesn’t look like one of the world beaters
A tad lumpy and constantly smoking heaters
The guy shot 69 on Sunday at the Open, give him respect
Cash exchanged hands over at Duke
After a series of p.r. moves that made everyone puke
Gave the boot to that crook Nifong
Now he’ll spend his days playing beer pong
If you ask me, all of Durham should still get the nuke
Forest creatures announce that they’ll get hitched
Wearing yarmulkes that were just recently stitched
Their kids will look like Weeble Wobbles, it’s true
As they journey to save not one Big Apple tower, but two
They’ll Google “Bulls Game” on their Dells to make their lives enriched
A welcome bit of humor from Hillary
Mirroring the complicated Sopranos finale
But they lost me when they started eating carrot sticks
Everyone knows its pork rinds for those Arkansas hicks
Whether her campaign can find momentum will be interesting to see
Limer-inks
Limerick Friday I
Limerick Friday II
Limerick Friday III
Limerick Friday IV
Limerick Friday V
Limerick Friday VI
Limerick Friday VII
Best of … Limerick Friday
Limerick Friday IX
Limerick Friday X
Limerick Friday XI
Limerick Friday XII
Limerick Friday XIII
Limerick Friday XIV
Limerick Friday XV
Limerick Friday XVI
Limerick Friday XVII
Limerick Friday XVIII
Limerick Friday XIX
Limerick Friday XX
Limerick Friday XXI
Limerick Friday XXII
Limerick Friday XXIII
Limerick Friday XXIV
Limerick Friday XXV
Limerick Friday XXVI
Limerick Friday XXVII
Limerick Friday XXVIII
Limerick Friday XXIX
Limerick Friday XXX
Limerick Friday XXXI
Limerick Friday XXXII
Limerick Friday XXXIII
Limerick Friday XXXIV
23 comments:
This Friday might never end
Tonight with cold beers some time i'll spend
In the past week i've bought and sold a house
So i feel i've earned the right to get souse(d)
Tomorrow AM i'll be on the mend
Haven't heard from Will all week
I hope he wasn't murdered by that freak
Being dead will put an end to his quest
To bone some chick in his new nest
Into TGRK's trunk someone should take a peek
Hot ladies looking to book a flight
Call Steve to check availability day or night
Fair warning to the girl who wants to fly with Foster
The plane trip is going to cost her
FDT* or go take a hike
*Free Dem Titties
A hearty congrats to our friend Brent
He's got plenty of reasons to go and get bent
He'll reside in a fancy new home
As he continues to hide Adam's gnome
Just hope his #1 fan Literace isn't a squatter in his basement
Silence from Will isn't necessarily good
Is that frantic knocking from underneath TGRK's hood?
I honestly hope our resident NC State hater
Doesn't wind up in that serial killer's refrigerator
Outsmarting TGRK isn't hard, but I wonder if Will could
You guys should stop worrying about retarded Will
He's eloped with his small Asian friend for a thrill
I don't know who the hell is TGRK
But you guys make him sound like Son of Sam, what the hay
Will will be back when he's had his Zhao fill
Brent you bought a new place?
Bryce getting too big, needed more space?
Had enough of the LBC?
are you still living in cary?
maybe you got a realty job, is that the case
i wrote to will the other day
was a little nervous i gotta say
also hadn't heard from the guy
and that TGRK is pretty sly
tazmanian devil shirts were a little gay
Some chick in WA had a .50 blood alcohol level
She must have made a deal with the devil
Or been on a date with Zhao as he did his mate testing
Taking shot until he was interesting
Nate Dogg said "the rhythm is the bass add the bass is the treble"
I miss our sober friend from BYU
Been years since I've heard a good haiku
He's disappeared at the Seattle port
We'll have to file a missing person report
For him, Dave Honaker and Shawn Deena, too
Bitch please. I'm LBC 'till i die
Rulin' punks like Torry did Dre Bly
In Cary it's kill or be killed
By soccer Moms whose shirts are frilled
Need directions to Trader Joes? I'm your guy
Anonymous I hate to be blunt,
your rhymes are as lame as your wife's Titanic cunt,
she says you get up at noon, never shower and always smell,
playing video games, watching Oprah and eating bon bons while your belly swells,
here's hoping you find a job, something besides
watching Leonardo freeze his ass off in a stupid stunt.
Brent's moving uptown
Do his neighbors know he's a clown?
He's got a nice new den with a computer
But that new garage needs a certain yellow scooter
Easy on gas and fun with the ladies out on the town.
where is our friend steve?
flying or taking pictures of frogs on leaves?
he's gotten pretty darn good
although we haven't gotten any of him in the lbc hood
maybe his flight instructor needed a reprieve
shoot didn't post fast enough
will and steve both writing some stuff
anonymous and will taking cracks
limerick friday is definitely back
hopefully neither will leave in a huff
Will is alive, we can stop with our worry
He's not lying dead in some barren quarry
As for Anonymous, man, what the fuck
Are you still in your double-wide stuck?
Dude harasses Will then runs back to his Xbox in a hurry
A confused, immature girl named Kim
She pretended to be proper and prim
She lied as she smiled to his face
Craved attention and someone who'd chase
She cheated, then blamed it all on him
Casie is letting the limericks fly
We're glad that at TGRK's hands Will didn't die
Anonymous must have an axe to grind
It's quite possible he's just out of his mind
Unemployment + sloth is a good way to kiss your sanity goodbye
I wonder if the mounties ever got their man
And if he spilled the beans "aboot" the Martin's plan
Back rubs for the ladies and cursing at hosers
Stay Puft was a minion of Gozer's
Justice is as likely as London getting a tan
Dating the ladies is still my mission,
changing my strategy and letting them decide if we go out again is my decision,
had three dates last week,
all were real neat,
but only one am i still going to see, she's got really good intuition....who knows, maybe someday she'll play patient and i'll play physician
Ah man so glad to have will again
Love his limericks, I give them a ten
Getting out of here and going home
Leaving you with this crappy poem
Gonna drink some beer and try to find some men :)
Making a critical decision
Navigate with extreme precision
Restitution may be required
Could be a gun they hired
Season 2 of the Sopranos is the indoctrination
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