Friday, February 09, 2007
Limerick Friday XIX: Who The Hell Stole The Brownies?
They brought in a cocky third-ranked team looking sly
Thinking, “We’ll win by 30 and be back before ‘Queer Eye’”
They forgot what a rivalry is and how far hatred can go
Then Roy got a free coaching lesson from Sidney Lowe
All across the state you could hear Wal-Mart fans cry
It’s finally cold enough to have a winter party
To brave the weather you have to be hale and hearty
But I saw a guy with a scarf driving in his car
Dudes should be willing to freeze before they go that far
As masculine as a Literace Tupperware party
Three straight losses for Coach K’s determined bunch
Friggin’ Florida State came into Cameron and ate their lunch
Even bogus calls can’t save K’s team anymore
He can scream all he wants, until his throat is sore
I’m guessing his back is starting to hurt … just a hunch
A moment of silence for Anna Nicole
She shouldn’t have had that last buttered roll
Her chest could be described as legendary
Married Abe Lincoln’s Defense Secretary
Drugs, diets and old dudes must’ve taken their toll
I always knew Congress was more than a little daft
Filled with jackasses front to back and fore to aft
Still questioning what global warming is involved with
I have to wonder if they’re going to keep calling it a myth
Up until they’re using a polar bear as a life raft
Limer-inks
Limerick Friday I
Limerick Friday II
Limerick Friday III
Limerick Friday IV
Limerick Friday V
Limerick Friday VI
Limerick Friday VII
Best of … Limerick Friday
Limerick Friday IX
Limerick Friday X
Limerick Friday XI
Limerick Friday XII
Limerick Friday XIII
Limerick Friday XIV
Limerick Friday XV
Limerick Friday XVI
Limerick Friday XVII
Limerick Friday XVIII
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15 comments:
Roy preaches “stealing Brownies” to his team
Apparently, it’s supposed to build up their steam
If that’s your saying, I guess I can’t begrudge
But that’s awful close to saying “go pack fudge”
Over on Brokeback Hill they know what it is to ream
The Heels say, “Can you put us on a neat-o Wheaties box?
“In our glass house, we hardly ever throw rocks
“You mean we have to actually play the games?
“We don’t get a trophy for having a lot of names?
“Between practices we like to suck each others’ …
“Ice.”
Unprepared announcers with nothing to say
During State-UNC, nothing intelligent all day
“You can’t double-team will”
There’s a joke somewhere in there about Chapel Hill
Makes me want to push “mute” and remember that silence is OK
A throwback for Todd Fuller
Who remembers Lakista McKuller
Bryant Feggins ring a bell?
Eric Montross can go to hell
Keith Bean ate too many burritos....(you try rhymin something with fuller)
Just like CC Harrisons eight 3's
Courtney Fells brought the Heels to their knees.
Curtis Marshall would have been proud
I'm sure there was a party at the Stroud
nothing is better than beating a top ranked UNC
How the hell do you end up with Wade Phillips
The Cowboys have become the punchline to a bunch of quips
Good luck trying to deal with T.O.
Or teaching holding to a sobbing Romo
This will lead to Jerry Jones having more facial tucks and nips
anna nicole i will miss you,
while others try and diss you,
i thought skinny anna was really hot,
your face was bangin', boobies taut (sp?),
methadone set your life askew.
You're better than that, Evan:
... Keith Bean thought Sendek too much of a dullard
... Keith Bean considered dieting void and null-er
... Keith Bean retired and is now a tractor puller
"The Office" makes me laugh on Thursday night
Every line is simply politically not right
Similarities abounded at MSI
No-Neck was a Creed type of guy
Ken was Michael Scott to TGRK's Dwight
What, Raleigh is cold?
Do you need to be told?
Nebraska's highs are below Raleigh's lows
There's ice build up between my f#$kin' toes
Will, keep your infatuation with Anna Nicole under controlled
Evan and Jenn really can cook,
like Anna Nicole knows good looks,
i wonder where Casie, Steve and Brent are,
are they watching from afar,
from Jenn blood Red Cross took.
you know i hate to actually do work
not contributing limericks makes me feel like a jerk
although last weeks made me feel kind of slutty
luckily you guys are all my buddies
making fun of one other is just a perk
espn blacked out the game for markets in the acc
not that i care about duke, state or unc
im just bitter cause my team sucks
probably couldn't beat the mighty ducks
wasn't the kid in that movie pacey
I wonder whatever happened to Jack Moore?
Dude was a complete moron and an insufferable boor
Maybe he's teaching tae kwon do
Or having his stomach stapled just so
Probably buried his family under his kitchen floor
Casie, those limericks said more about us than you
Things got out of hand, this much is true
Casie will always be innocent to us
Even when her limericks make us blush
At least this week's are cleaner and funnier, too
i will go to Angus Barn tonight,
the steaks there are a delight,
company is a cute female friend,
but bangin' friends is a sin,
unless she says, "you're coming home with me right?"
ahh i see i am leaving just in time
leave it to will to start crossing the line
have a good weekend dear friends
may you all never need depends
but even if you do that's just fine
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