Day 439, Quasi-Quarantine: "Ready Player Two" Follows The Template -- But Loses The Immersion

"My friend Kira always said that life is like an extremely difficult, horribly unbalanced videogame. When you're born, you're given a randomly generated character, with a randomly determined name, race, face, and social class. Your body is your avatar, and you spawn in a random geographic location, at a random moment in human history, surrounded by a random group of people, and then you have to try to survive for as long as you can."

I thoroughly enjoyed "Ready Player One," to the extent that I named it may top choice in the 2016 Scooties Awards. However, its sequel -- the rather on-the-nose-ly-named "Ready Player Two" -- lacked most of the engrossing elements of the first book.

While not particularly complex or sophisticated, this follow-up predictably extends the original story. Ernest Cline delivers exactly what you would expect here, though the fun quotient has been dialed down a bit.

"We were witnessing the dawn of the posthuman era. The Singularity by way of simulacra and simulation."

Littered with pop culture references, "Ready Player Two" is another fun jaunt, not asking much in terms of expended mental energy and paying off the entertainment aspect. The John Hughes quest provides a hilarious escape, and Prince fans will find Cline speaking directly to their soul at certain moments.

There are certainly no surprises to be found here, but maybe there's something to be said for that when it comes to reading during a global pandemic. Cline is exactly as advertised -- and that is often just enough and all we need.

"Through sheer force of will and brainpower, he'd once again turned science fiction into science fact, without much regard for the long-term consequences."

Day 438, Quasi-Quarantine: "Well, Normy, It's Interesting To Note That Hoth Is Largely Devoid Of Life"

 

Filling out an order recently to reach a free-shipping limit, I added the Star Wars Legos kids book "Use the Force!" to my cart. Why this item? Because it came with -- essentially -- a Cliff Clavin minifigure.

Let's back up a bit. 

John Ratzenberger, who famously built the unforgettable role of Cliff Clavin in "Cheers," actually appeared in "The Empire Strikes Back." As Major Bren Derlin, he gave the order to close the Echo Base shield doors when Han Solo was out searching for Luke Skywalker in the frigid wastes of Hoth.

Off screen, he apparently survived the Hoth attack and went on to serve in the Battle of Endor. Hopefully, he and Han eventually settled their differences over a cold one with Norm in a Boston cantina.

Day 437, Quasi-Quarantine: Cecily Closes SNL Strong

Eviscerating Jeanine Pirro is the ideal way to wrap up the season finale of Saturday Night Live.

Kudos to Cecily Strong for just owning this skit.

Day 436, Quasi-Quarantine: Landing Jacoby Brissett Was A Low-Key Big-Time Move For Miami

It certainly didn't draw the most headlines, but the Dolphins' signing of Jacoby Brissett early in free agency was among the most important moves the team made this entire offseason. Bringing in the Florida native and NC State alum on a one-year deal -- $5 million guaranteed, with an overall potential value of $7.5 million -- was crucial for Miami. 

The pluses: Brissett is mobile, possesses a strong arm, is a beloved teammate, and was Indianapolis's nominee for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award last year. Still only 28 years old, he has 31 touchdowns and 13 interceptions in his career, starting 32 games between the Patriots and the Colts. He'll also be learning a brand-new playbook at the same time as the rest of the offense, which will be led by new co-offensive coordinators George Godsey and Eric Studesville.

The negatives: I mean ... none? Look, the rap on Brissett in Indy was that he was overly cautious with the ball, checking down too early and too often. And while that is valid, that actually could be construed as a positive in a backup quarterback.

The bottom line: Brissett is considered one of the best backups in the league, and let's face it: There are still sizeable questions about Tua Tagovailoa. Having a proven player in this role in Miami is absolutely vital, and getting a player of Brissett's versatility -- you usually don't find backups that teams are willing to create packages for, which the Colts did -- is something of a coup for the 'Fins. 

Limerick Friday #506: Another Normal, Unthinkable Year For The Mets -- Day 433

Freak injuries leave them bereft

Wondering who the hell is left

"The Irregulars" are trying

But I'd by lying

If I said the Mets roster had heft

"Secret City," a wandering mess

So much confusion to address

Anna Torv and Aussie accents

The show's redeeming assets

A guilty pleasure, I confess

Bob Bafford the latest cheat

To blame cancel culture on repeat

Don't be a snowflake, dear

And stay with me here

What if it's really repercussions, meat?

Check out the fates

Of Al Franken vs. Matt Gaetz 

It's exactly how it sounds

Hypocrisy knows no bounds

Politics in the United States

Reliving '70s hysteria spin

"Sons of Sam" remembers when

Journalism mattered

As terror scattered

Netflix, you've done it again

Last time ...

Day 432, Quasi-Quarantine: "Black Buck" Is Kinetic -- And Essential

 

"Poor people and God usually hand in hand because it's easier to explain why some people have so much and others have so little when there's a master plan."

Let's just say that "Black Buck" covers a lot of ground. 

Mateo Askaripour pours three or four stories into this ambitious novel, and though the results can be mixed, the overall product is impossible to ignore. 

The novel is at times laugh-out-loud funny, emotional, thought-provoking, ridiculous, and motivational. 

"She swept her hand in front of me. 'You look like a Mormon, son.' I looked at my white short-sleeved button-up with two pens in the front pocket, black slacks with a black belt, and black leather shoes to match. Shit."

"It felt like the guy jumped inside my head, looked around, took a shit, and left."

Featuring a unique format, "Black Buck" is what happens when "The Firm" meets "Juice," and while the writing isn't overly sophisticated and the phrasing can be cheap and easy (" ... Like the earth only orbited the sun so it could see her from all angles."), Askaripour has created an important and worthwhile entry into contemporary conversations about diversity.

"What you are about to see if what happens when intuition overrides logic, which is the mark of any salesperson worth their salt. People buy based on emotion and justify with reason."

Day 431, Quasi-Quarantine: Right There With Ya, Elaine

Relatable. 

Check out part two for a couple more epic lines ("Now we're celebrating a sick day?!").

Day 430, Quasi-Quarantine: Will Fuller Brings Speed And Uncertainty To South Beach

 

One year after putting together arguably the worst free agency class in the history of the NFL, Miami took a lower-key approach to this phase of player acquisition in 2021.

Perhaps the biggest name was former first-rounder and Houston Texan wideout Will Fuller V, who was one of the last big-name receivers to be signed. Inking a one-year, $10.6 million contract, the burner will be betting on himself this season.

The pluses: Fuller can undeniably fly, running a 4.32-second 40-yard dash at the 2016 NFL combine. Entering his sixth season in the league, he just turned 27 years old, so he should be entering the peak of his career. At 6-0, 184 pounds, the Notre Dame product is coming off his best season (879 yards, 16.6 yards per catch, eight touchdowns), averaging nearly 80 yards per game, good for 10th in the league. Landing Fuller on a one-year deal could be seen as something of a coup for the 'Fins.

The negatives: Plagued by injuries, Fuller has only played more than 13 games once in his career and is averaging a little more than just 10 games played per season. As a result, he's never had a 1,000-yard season and was seen as a bit of an underachiever in Houston. On top of all that, he was suspended for PEDs last season, and his penalty will extend to the first game of 2021 in Miami.

The bottom line: The Dolphins are hoping that Fuller is simply a late bloomer in the vein of the guy who will play on the opposite side of the field, Devante Parker. Fuller brings a pure speed element that Miami desperately lacked last year, and even if his inconsistency persists, his presence alone should force defenses to rethink the looks they give the 'Fins. If he can deliver on his immense promise, he'll certainly be looking to cash in on the free agent market again in 2022 -- a "problem" that Miami would be happy to face if it comes to fruition.

Day 429, Quasi-Quarantine: Replicating The Fascinating "Bad Batch" Adoptee, "Echo"

CT-1409, or "Echo" (or even "The Hero of Anaxes"), has quickly become one of our favorite members of Clone Force 99, and his dramatic backstory is just one of the reasons why "The Bad Batch" has emerged as a must-watch.

A former ARC trooper, Echo was originally part of the Domino Squad before his heroics at Rishi Station led him to the 501st Legion. After further valor at Tipoca City, he was thought to be lost during an explosion on Lola Sayu.

Instead, the severely injured Echo was imprisoned by Separatist forces and turned into a cyborg. Taking advantage of Echo's lack of consciousness, Wat Tambor put him to nefarious uses as part of the Techno Union.

 

The Bad Batch, Captain Rex, and Jedi General Anakin Skywalker rescued Echo from Shako Minor, and after that mission, Echo accepted an invitation from Hunter to join the Bad Batch near the end of the Clone Wars.

His history in the field serves Clone Force 99 well, and his socket arm and implants allow him to easily interface with computers -- turning a disability into a strength.

As you can see, we've had varying success in building our own Echo (a bonafide Lego minifigure does not exist yet). His pale skin is hard to match outside of the standard Lego white, and we painted a 3-D clone helmet to try to match is colors.

On the first effort, the gray was not quite dark enough, so we went with a sterling silver on the next effort, and the result was good (see the comparison photos above). We have also painted a headset that he can wear when his helmet is off.

As we not-so-patiently await the arrival of the Havoc Marauder set in August, we are tiding ourselves over by trying to build out our own Bad Batch. 

Knowing that these troopers are outcasts and misfits makes slipping up on our designs that much easier to take.

Limerick Friday #505: Needless Panic At The Pumps -- Day 426

Every stupid ass

Drove around looking for gas

Creating a worse situation

Welcome to our nation

Displaying ignorance en masse

Bad hires cause wrath

Suck up for a jolly path

Consult on what you don't know

Ask an existential question, then go

And call yourself a polymath

Fell in love with a wild creature

With humanity as an endearing feature

Lived in another world

The emotions certainly swirled

Watching "My Octopus Teacher"

New guidance from the CDC

A recipe for disaster, if you ask me

Here come the vaccinated lies

From racists and ignorant guys

Unnecessary risk, just wait and see

Kin more like strangers

With ideological ranges

A family fractured

Caring manufactured

Wake me when something changes

Last time ...

Day 425, Quasi-Quarantine: Immersion Makes You Not Want To Say Goodbye To "Leave The World Behind"

"You told yourself you'd be attuned to a holocaust, unfolding a world away, but you weren't. It was immaterial, thanks to distance. People weren't that connected to one another. Terrible things happened constantly and never prevented you from going out for ice cream or celebrating birthdays or going to the movies or paying your taxes or fucking your wife or worrying about the mortgage."

"Leave the World Behind" starts slow, peppered with unnecessary words and off-putting sexual references, but as the pacing ramps up, that jarring beginning feels intentional by Rumaan Alam. 

" ... His wife felt it important, not to do the moral thing, necessarily, but to be the kind of person who would. Morality was vanity, in the end."

"Ruth had learned only one thing from the current reality, and it was that everything held together by tacit agreement that it would. All it took to unravel something was one party deciding to do just that. There was no real structure to prevent chaos, there was only a collective faith in order."

This book seamlessly takes on a frantic, sinister tone, bolstered by a well-woven racial component and fly-on-the-wall sentiments. The author uses a series of clues out of context to give hints as to the overriding apocalyptic feel to the plot, but doles them out sparingly to ratchet up the foreboding, eerie feel. 

In addition to offering a master class in how to build tension through ominous undertones, Alam excels at taking what some only think and expressing it directly via his characters.

"Smoking tethered you to history itself! It was a patriotic act, or once had been, anyway, like owning slaves or killing the Cherokee."

"'Let's say something happens in New York City. Do you think this president will do the right thing about it?' This kind of thing used to sound like paranoia, but now it was just pragmatism."

The indirect references to what has altered life as we know it evoke Stephen King, in particular offering echoes of "Under the Dome."

The literary equivalent of a bottle episode, "Leave the World Behind" is staggeringly immersive, hammering away with choppy, weighty sentences, leaving the reader not wanting it to end -- not wanting to leave the story behind.

"If they didn't know how it would end -- with night, with more terrible noise from the top of Olympus, with bombs, with disease, with blood, with happiness, with deer or something else watching them from the darkened woods -- well, wasn't that true of every day?"

Day 424, Quasi-Quarantine: Resistance Troop Transport A Hidden Gem In The Star Wars Universe

At my strong suggestion, the Resistance Troop Transport  #75140) was a recent birthday gift. Checking in at 646 pieces, this set features a detailed external design, a clever layout for interior play, sharp decals, and a couple of hard-to-find minifigures.

In fact, in his review video, the highly respected Jangbricks called it one of his favorite Star Wars Lego sets ever (9:31 mark).

Appearing in "Star Wars: The Force Awakens," this starship is horizontally oriented, making it unique in Lego builds. The transport has an intricate weapons system (plus dual spring-loaded shooters) on one end, bookended by a cockpit on the other -- my initial impression was that the cockpit could be detached as an escape pod, but that was just wishful thinking.

The ship's highlight is the roomy interior, which is accessible via a pair of opening top hatches, as well as a ramp that lowers. This area offers the many opportunities to position the respectable crew of minifigures.

The iconic latter-day Princess Leia and the rare Admiral Ackbar (complete with cup o' joe) are unquestionably the great gets in this set. However, the two Resistance troopers have super-cool visor assemblies and a unique look, and while some argued that a red-armed C3PO should have been included instead of one of the Resistance troopers, this strikes me as a mere quibble.

Since it serves as both a headquarters and a means of transportation for the rebels, the Resistance troop transport has quickly inserted itself as a core component of a number of Star Wars missions in our household.

Kudos to Lego for this surprising and stellar set.

Day 423, Quasi-Quarantine: Bringing The Bad Batch Into The Light

In the new Disney animated series "The Bad Batch," the exploits of Hunter, Tech, Crosshair, Wrecker, and Echo (more on him in a future blog post) have captivated our household.

The crew has now added a (***SPOILER ALERT***) new quasi-member in the form of the delightful Omega, but we currently have to be content with the 3D-printed Bad Batch minifigures we procured toward the end of the Clone Wars runs.

While we currently wait impatiently for the arrival of the new Bad Batch Lego set in August, we've been busy retrofitting existing minifigures and adapting them to the new storylines from the TV show.

It's still quarantine as hell up in here. But I wouldn't change this part of it.

Lego on.

Day 422, Quasi-Quarantine: Remembering Scott Hutchison

"When it's all gone

Something carries on

And it's not morbid at all

Just that nature's had enough of you"

Three years ago yesterday, Scott Hutchison of Frightened Rabbit took his own life. Through the charity established by his family -- Tiny Changes -- he continues to impact the world through awareness and music.

His meaningful collaborations with so many respected musicians spoke to the deep respect the community had for him. Said The National's Aaron Dessner, "Scott was able to turn the darkest corners of his mind into pieces of art."

It hurts that there will likely be no more Frightened Rabbit music. Or Mastersystem. Or Owl John.

But the music carries on, in all the small but massive ways.

You can mark my words, I'll make changes to earth

While I'm alive, I'll make tiny changes to earth

[Please enjoy what might be my favorite music video of all time.]

Limerick Friday #504: The Beach Restores Yet Again -- Day 419

An Outer Banks jaunt

With weather to flaunt

A change of scenery

Minus the greenery

Did everything I did want

We did immediately latch

To the new show to catch

Order 66 clones

And spy drones

Welcome to "The Bad Batch"

A little out of debts

So they placed all their bets

On Lindor's hits and throws

Now he all of a sudden blows

This is so very, very Mets

The site Republic Bricks

Full of lies and delivery tricks

Knockoff lego scam

With a needless sham

Run by clueless pricks

Frets and strumming

Chord picks while humming

Seems like a magic trick

Will it ever click?

The guitar, alluring and dumbing

Last time ...

Day 418, Quasi-Quarantine: "Later" Roller-Coasters Its Way Into King's Noir Catalog

"Even a little kid knows certain basic things if he's not soft in the attic. You said please, you said thank you, you didn't flap your weenie around in public or chew with your mouth open, and you didn't talk to dead folks when they were standing next to living folks who were just starting to miss them."

Stephen King's work in the Hard Case Crime series has been tremendous, highlighted by one of my favorite stories of his, "Joyland." While "Later" doesn't measure up to his best in this genre, the author builds more memorable characters and viable backstories yet again.

Continuing the tradition of incredible Hard Case Crime artwork, this book doesn't take long to start living up to its cover. Sporting a frantic pace, this one forces you to consciously slow down to make it last.

"Looking back on it, I sometimes think my life was like a Dickens novel, only with swearing."

From homosexuality to demonic possession, from incest to dirty cops, "Later" doesn't shy away from weighty issues. Jamie Conklin's extrasensory perception can be used to thwart domestic terrorists, but it can't be used to fend off a lonely, rocky upbringing. He's often burned by authority figures, lending an undertone of depression to his narrative voice and infusing this tale with an extra layer of emotion.

Some of the twists and coincidences become a bit hard to take, but there are moments where King's brilliance shines through. There aren't enough of those to elevate this one in the context of his canon, but for those hanging on his every word -- especially in the midst of a global pandemic -- this unstoppable page-turner will more than suffice.

"Thoughts drowning in blood. I never forgot that."

Day 417, Quasi-Quarantine: I Want To Go Back To There