Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXXXI: From B.B. To M.M., From Yepremian To Letterman, A Week Of Difficult Farewells

Emotionally heart-rending show

Perhaps too tied up like a bow

Found himself in his chi

Inspiration found him by the sea

Sad to see Draper and “Mad Men” go

Undisputed king of the blues

Crestfallen at the B.B. King news

Transcendent with your Lucille

You made every listener feel

What a treasure to lose

To marketers everywhere it spoke

When advertising was less of a joke

And at the very end

You might say of “Mad Men”

It was an eight-year ad for Coke

A bald little kicker he was

Loved him like every Fin fan does

Was funny enough to get away

With a Super Bowl boneheaded play

Gary Yepremian will be missed by us

A self-described Indiana hick

Pulled off a stupid pet trick

Of course, the top 10 list

Among what will be missed

Of Dave Letterman’s original schtick

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXXX: The Hammer Falls On The Deflatriots, Plus “Mad Men” Ponders Painful Farewell

A collection of cheating tools

With zero respect for the rules

Brady got held to the fire

For being a habitual liar

Belicheat plays the NFL for fools

As the days dwindle past

Denial has set in fast

The Letterman finale is near

For an icon we hold so dear

Let’s make every punchline last

A pitching staff to be feared

But an offense that’s disappeared

Young arms carry the Mets

But bats as bad as it gets

First place does feel kinda weird

A Pete-Trudy happy ending

Walkabout Don’s fate is impending

Peggy is off on her own

No mention of Roger or Joan

Betty’s lung cancer a bit heart-rending

Will he finally be Dick Whitman?

Will we see Megan again?

Will Roger stick with Marie Calvet?

Will Ken have his final say?

Hoping it’ll make us remember when

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXXIX: “Mad Men” Chases The Contrails, Plus Shhhhhhh … The Mets Are Still A Thing

Don turns into Dean Moriarty

Roger’s empty-office drunken party

The strands beginning to unravel

Separate ways they start to travel

“Mad Men,” for the sentimental and hearty

A solid draft for the ‘Fins

Making up for previous sins

Firepower at wideout

Playmakers throughout

Now, who will coach them to wins?

A Pacquiao-Mayweather whatever

One more boring endeavor

Pacquiao fought with a bum shoulder

Mayweather danced and got older

Now can Floyd go away forever?

From the team that brought you Spygate

Now comes the art of deflate

Documented cheating yet again

Belicheat breaks rules to win

Goodell covers it up, just wait

The Mets keep bubbling along

Winning just feels kinda wrong

Have hit a few rough patches

Seem to go scoreless in batches

But steady on is their theme song

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXXVIII: “Mad Men” Careens To A Sobering Conclusion, Plus ‘Fins Weather The Storms

A punchline is what Don’s become?

As the '70s arrive for some?

An uneven stretch run

For an epic series almost done

“Mad Men” needs some focus and rum

A bust of epic proportions

Says a lot, considering ‘Fin abortions

Dion Jordan suspended yet again

His career over before it began

Will there ever be a change in draft fortunes?

They took difficult shots

And yes, they took lots

But Lacey as a fit was fantastic

Washington brought energy spastic

Unexpected choices for State kinda rots

A relatively weak season three

Ended with the Underwoods up a tree

A highlight was Doug

His story not swept under the rug

“House of Cards” fading, but still can’t quit ye

A big receiver fit the bill

So they took Parker from Louisville

He was a nice scoop

To round out a nice group

No more excuses, Tannehill

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXXVII: Spieth Humiliates Augusta National, Plus When Will Don Draper Start Swinging Back?

Tiger’s involuntary bequeath

The title to Jordan Spieth

Trounced the field at the Masters

His ascents just got even fasters

He and Rory could be a rivalry with teeth

“True Detective” trailer

Couldn’t really be any fail-er

Casting choices gone wrong

Gonna pay for it for long

Can Fukunaga find a way to tailor?

The draft is quickly approaching

Insanity the ‘Fins usually encroaching

A receiver or running back, perhaps indeed

Or a corner or guard, both needs

But does it really matter, with the coaching?

“True Detective” captivated

“The Jinx” agitated

Now “Silicon Valley” is back

Plus “Veep” returns to attack

With HBO, no one’s equated

Don getting beaten down

By women all around

Loneliness pervades his pores

The ad life, it only bores

Will he skip New York town?

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXXVI: “Better Call Saul” Chicago-Sunroofs Its Way To End Of Remarkable Season One, Launching Hotbed of TV News

Fate, Jimmy couldn’t duck it

After Marco kicked the bucket

Took a deal to fill his coffer

Then got a plum job offer

Saul Goodman was born and said “Fuck it”

Coulda been one for the ages

Instead, Wisconsin rages

Duke’s rookies led the way

But the refs held full sway

Handed it to the Devils for higher wages

Mortality the theme of the day

As hemlines rise and sideburns sway

Don wonders what it all means

Legacy’s worth a hill of beans

“Mad Men” time is slipping away

While the media reported on Tiger’s smile

They missed real stories by a mile

At 21, Spieth made every birdie

At 65, Watson’s game is still sturdy

The Masters opened in fine style

TV is gonna get bolder

With the return of Scully and Mulder

For six epis, anyway

Good material in the NSA

Conspiracies and “X-Files,” shoulder to shoulder

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI: Many Giant Leaps For “Mad Men,” Plus Farewell To The Gifted Maya Angelou

A furious midseason finale

Chose nerd over douche, did Sally

Bert Cooper died in high style

For divorce Megan will file

Don and Roger threw Cutler down a valley

Peg fabricated a family

Nailed a presentation emotionally

Against a moon landing backdrop

Roger steps up to stop Cutler’s co-op

Are the best things in life really free?

A douche and fiancé soon parted

O’er the phone? A bit retarded

Ah well, such is Rory

A new chapter for his story

Check out the 63 he just carded

For murder, he put his teaching on the shelf

That’s how Walter White found himself

“Dead man walking,” in the doctor’s voice

Cooking meth the natural next choice

The best pilot ever, I do say myself

From sex worker to cook

From singer to the book

Maya Angelou, an extraordinary life

Balancing achievement with strife

With words and sentiment she did hook

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: “House of Cards” Manages To Hyperbolize Even Politics, Plus “Mad Men” Careening Toward Midseason Finale

“House of Cards,” I have a beef

Involving suspension of disbelief

The Veep a serial killer

Equal parts comedy and thriller

Will Frank become Convict in Chief?

When it was all on the line

Looked like the Pack was fine

Then a blind ump happened

Disappointing season did end

Avent shoulda paid a fine

The return of Jack Bauer

“24” makes an amusing hour

Chloe a tatted punk hacker

Audrey back as a dour cracker

Miss Kim but not Jack’s glower

Again my head I did bow

To be better, that was my vow

Maybe you were in the wind

As love and memory I did send

A void that’s just part of me now

 

Don took pity on Peg

Said goodbye again to Meg

Ghey Bob proposed to Joan

Pete once again alone

The rep of SCDP has flown

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: Nipsy Russell Did Not Appear On “Mad Men,” Plus Not Feeling A Draft At The Beach

Lou and Cutler scheming everywhere

Stephanie arrived from nowhere

Don had threesome with Meg

Ginsberg gave his nipple to Peg

Betty got berated and didn’t care

Every year I preach

Pick value and don’t reach

Once again the Fins didn’t listen

Got fans moanin’ and pissin’

Glad I missed most of it at the beach

The front desk, just a little contentious

Wrightsville was kinda pretentious

With people, we were up to our necks

Really missed the OBX

But a day outta town was conscientious

Donald Sterling and his heinous broads

The NBA is full of frauds

His wife like an old leather bag

His mistress, a plastic hag

Put ‘em all on the moon, good gawds

HBO outprograms and outwits

They just keep churnin’ out hits

“Silicon Valley” is awkward humor

“Veep” is a fast-paced funny zumor

Summer TV is gonna be the pits

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: A Too-Long Hiatus Ends, Plus TV Be Heatin’ Up

Don takes a backseat

But continues his deceit

Roger’s orgies have him floored

Peg a minimized slumlord

Megan has me hitting rewind and repeat

Draft winds a-blowing

But no one’s knowing

Just where anyone is leaning

The Fins head careening

Toward more of me oh-no-ing

“Silicon Valley” taking over Sunday night

With lines like “VP of Spite”

The latest triumph from Mike Judge

Examining tech’s satirical sludge

So far, all the caricatures are right

An avoidance of back-nine disasters

Delivered another Masters

To Bubba Watson, weeping

Lack of drama had many sleeping

But I’ve never seen Augusta greens faster

A new gig for Scoot

A team that seems astute

What a nice change

To give me more range

And fewer wankers to boot

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: Dick Whitman Emerges On “Mad Men” Season Finale, Plus Bubba Watson Shows True Colors

Punched a preacher drunkenly

Megan left him finally

He’s put on forced leave

Can no longer bob and weave

Can the truth really set him free?

Lost, Pete fled to the coast

Bob seeks to gain the most

Ted and Peggy humped

Then she got dumped

Now SCDP is nothing but a ghost

Women’s rights they impede

Change the rules so they succeed

The most embarrassing state

Marked by ignorance and hate

High time for Texas to secede

Got a million chances because he could play

But he insisted on throwing it all away

Committed dumbest crime under the stars

Now he’ll be forever behind bars

Just another punk forced to pay today

The latest golfing fraud

Blamed his caddy and the sod

Bubba Watson likes to cry

So everyone thinks he’s a good guy

Actually a douche no one should applaud

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: Tony Soprano Finally Goes Gently Into That Good Night, Plus “Mad Men” Teeters To An Intense Finish

James Gandolfini’s time to go

Too young at 51, don’t you know

Such an awful thing

Candles lit at the Bada Bing

Tony Soprano, say it ain’t so

Five years already passed

Can’t believe time flies so fast

Gallo, still missed every day

And remembered in every way

Your imprints will forever last

Why some feel his answers are funny

His anti-acne cream’s a bit runny

The bitterly douchey Pop-a-zit

Of class, he’s got the opposite

Great team, try to be a bit more sunny

A season to remember at State

Alas, the bats went cold late

Inopportune mistakes

Is really all it takes

A title will just have to wait

Mickelson had a trophy under his nose

‘Til another last day of “Oh nos!”

Merion tamed the best golfers around

Tension abounded on the final round

The worthy victor was emotional Justin Rose

The return of creepy Glen

Add Bob Benson to list of con  men

Don sends a message sublime

Saves business at the same time

Plus Pete’s in the game again

Kenny got shot by Chevy

Don’s back to drinkin’ heavy

Sally off to boarding school

Peg’s made to look like a fool

Storylines for the finale? A bevy

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: The Pack Nine Are CWS-Bound, Plus No Joan Sinks Already Depressing “Mad Men”

An Omaho trip for the Pack

After 45 years, they’re back

They’ll take on the cheaters from the hill

Looking for a College World Series thrill

Less bunting, and more on the attack!

It’s the return of Linden and Holder

The atmosphere both darker and colder

“The Killing” so gritty it hurts

Seems like everywhere evil lurks

A much darker version of Scully and Mulder

“Big Brother” says “Don’t misbehave”

Reasons for surveillance, none gave

Is there unsanctioned spying?

Or else which side is lying?

Orwell just rolled over in his grave

Tebow ESPN coverage a disgrace

Place a palm over your face

Latest move by the Hoody

To sign an overrated goody-goody

Is there even a Patsies plan in place?

 

So Bob Benson’s gay for Pete

Peg as an old maid’s nearly complete

Sally walked in on Don

Banging her crush’s Mom

With lies and low points, this epi was replete

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: Sweeping The Hated Yanks A Rare Bright Spot For Mets, Plus Joan Steals The Show (As Usual) On “Mad Men”

Four times they faced the Yanks

And they came up with four spanks

For the Metsies, a sweet sweep

From the Bronx, nary a peep

For a light in a lost season, many thanks

He cracked on Catholics with glee

And he’s a Mormon? I see

The latest Buckeyes prick

Pulled a self-disappearing trick

Enjoy “retirement,” Gordon Gee

Another fake-tough-guy tool

Trying too hard to be cool

Then he refused to handshake

As the Heat left him in their wake

Hibbert, just one more poser fool

Had sacks of quarterback bones

Filled foes with whimpers and moans

One of the faces of the NFL

A demon of pass-rushing hell

Rest in peace, Mr. Deacon Jones

 

Power struggles abounded

Don on hash nearly drownded

Roger got punched in the beans

Joan got a client with forward leans

Turmoil everywhere, the alarms sounded

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: More Flops Than A Fat Kid At The Pool, Plus Rejection The Theme Of “Mad Men”

Wanted to see what NBA playoffs was about

And a Euroleague soccer match broke out

Flopping around like gutted fish

Whining, falling and the occasional swish

Basketball has become the WWE, no doubt

Lives shattered

Belongings scattered

The air a turbulent force

Screams ‘til they were hoarse

Oklahoma, resilient but battered

Excellence comes with a cost”

The loss of shows like “Lost”

Plus “Touch” and “Fringe”

“The Office” left an emotional twinge

TV’s bad enough without good shows being tossed

Blue tents pierce the heavy air

Loss scattered here and there

Symbolize broken hearts

Signify the ends to starts

And an ascension to where

At work, Megan with much to learn

Joan rebuffed Roger with a burn

Don slept with his ex, unplanned

But skinny Betty now has hand

And lonely Peg has nowhere to turn

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIV: “The Office” Says A Teary Goodbye, Plus “Mad Men” Devolves Into Fever Dreams And ‘Ho Houses

Dwight and Angela wed

Many a tear was shed

Todd Packer was left out

The ending made us cry and shout

That is what she said

Comments from Sergio pathetic

For his brain he needs a medic

Played the fried chicken card

Came across like a Eurotrash ‘tard

Takes a lot to make Tigger sympathetic

A real Monster of the Midway

A master of the turnover and takeaway

Now number 54

Will patrol the middle no more

Next stop: Canton someday

Another puppy lost for we

Joining Ike, Foster and Cleo, just three

Heaven, be put on notice

She’ll frolic with Gallo and Otis

Miss Jackson, so missed you’ll be

 

Agency gets speed injected from behind

Grandma Ida robbed them blind

Don turns into a sweaty stalker

Rizzo kissed Peg, who’s a talker

Flashbacking Don leaves Chevy in a bind

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: “The Office” Winds Down With Emotion, Plus Control The Order Of The Day On “Mad Men”

Dwangela arrived again
Andy said farewell, then
Dreams being chased
Memories can’t be erased
“The Office’s” graceful end

Angelina Jolie’s breast cancer scare

Preventative technique if you dare

Brave and inspiring to her followers

But must have many dollars

To receive this researched care

The politics of hate

Won’t ever seem to abate

Sit back and hear a story

Of a disastrous governor McCrory

Making a laughingstock of our state

Took another bad drop

Lied about the marshal’s flop

Sparred with Garcia, what a joke

Then won the Players on a choke

But the bad form just won’t stop

By his Mom Pete gets fenced in

As RFK and the merger cause tension

Don loses Sylvia through S&M

Gets Ted drunk from stern to stem

And who the fuck is Bob Benson?

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: State’s No. 23 Reaches College Football Hall of Fame, Plus “Mad Men” Makes Up for Slow Start with More Roger

Scored touchdown after touchdown

As a running back of renown

Now he’s a Hall of Famer

The Wolfpack’s ultimate gamer

Congrats to the incomparable Ted Brown

A little late on this, y’all

RIP to Pat Summerall

Liked Cutty and water, I think

But Madden would drive us all to drink

Kept it classy as the voice of football

A bittersweet day of the year

A laugh, a sigh, a tear

Miss my mom every second

Memories always beckoned

Happy Mother’s Day, dear

Roger uses a stewardess boff

Don tells Jag to F off

Megan gives a hummer

And in quite a stunner

SCDP merges without a scoff

Peg kisses her boss

Pete’s marriage a total loss

Saw his father-in-law with a ‘ho

Joan tells Don where he can go

Lots happened on “Mad Men,” hoss

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI: Heels’ New Rings Sized By Lennay Kekua, Plus “Mad Men” Takes On Enormous Societal Issues

A UNC-Cheat ring with a fake gem

There’s a rip in the cover-up hem

An imaginary division crown

They’ve got the Carolina Way down

Manti T’eo thinks reality eludes them

A storyline that’s thrilling

An atmosphere that’s chilling

Like “Twin Peaks” with more grit

And fewer midgets and shit

Totally absorbed by “The Killing”

A few days at the beach

Brings peace you can’t teach

Salt wind on the shore

Brings memories you can’t ignore

Scratches an itch you can’t always reach

With the picks, there’s not much to bicker

Of hope, the ‘Fins now have a flicker

A bold tradeup for a sack-happy dude

No receivers sorta ruined the mood

And did we really just draft a freaking kicker?

 

Racial overtones abound

Everywhere, internal strife’s found

Don at war with his childhood

As a father and husband, no good

“Mad Men” now more dark than profound

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: A Masters Finish For The Ages, Plus Pete Campbell Is No Don Draper

Adam Scott avenged a British Open gag

Cabrera had his son on the bag

He swung hard, then smoked a heater

And Tigger was outed as a cheater

But Scott finally raised an Aussie flag

A race of self-affirmation

On a day of celebration

‘Til cowards ruined the day

And forced innocents to pay

Who are we now as a nation?

The final few days before 40

For this honorary Geordie

Yet the beach beckons

All worth it, I reckons

Don’t feel it, thank the lordy

Plenty of options for the ‘Fins

The draft has me on needles and pins

A tackle for the line?

A corner would be fine

Even a pass rusher (just no Ted Ginns!)

Flashbacks to Don’s preggers Mom nailed

Pete tried to be suave and failed

Megan had a miscarriage

Then confided in Sylvia about marriage

Heinz and Jag accounts may have sailed

Last time …