Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Is Miami Witnessing the Final Days Of Joe Philbin and Jeff Ireland?



Scene: Late September, Miami: After a promising start highlighted by an improbable road win at Indianapolis, hopes were high in South Beach. The Dolphins had two games remaining before the bye: an admittedly difficult Monday Night task at New Orleans and a home matchup with depleted Baltimore.

Then, an uncompetitive performance vs. the Saints was followed by a lackluster, snatching-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory effort against the Ravens, sending Miami into the bye week robbed of confidence, but holding onto a respectable 3-2 mark.

The hinges came completely off after the off week, however, as the ‘Fins didn’t show up at all at home against a poor Buffalo team starting a practice-squad quarterback. Then the team coughed up a 17-point lead on the road at New England, ending all hopes of emerging as a relevant factor in the AFC and only adding to the litany of questions surrounding coach Joe Philbin, general manager Jeff Ireland and the entire coaching staff.

The biggest query: Could we be seeing the last hurrah of Philbin and/or Ireland? Consider the upcoming schedule carefully: a short-week showdown against a high-potential Cincinnati squad at home, followed by a road matchup against potentially winless Tampa Bay. Should Miami get bested in a bad matchup against the Bengals, then find themselves in the entirely plausible scenario of gift-wrapping a first win to the Buccaneers, it could be the final straw for this “braintrust.” After all, a 3-6 record and a six-game losing streak could render it difficult to see where the next victory could come from in a stretch that includes San Diego, Carolina and at the Jets.

So how did such a promising season go off the rails so quickly? And what failures are combining to jeopardize the brief tenure of Philbin, as well as the continuing failure that is the Ireland era?


Lack of Offensive Innovation Puts Team Behind 8-Ball in Pass-First League

In some quarters, the biggest plus seen in drafting quarterback Ryan Tannehill was the fact that his college coach, Mike Sherman, was installed as the Dolphins offensive coordinator. Lost in the giddiness over how quickly Tannehill would be able to compete in a familiar system, however, was the fact that Sherman was, well, fired as Tannehill’s college coach.

In some games this year, Miami has abandoned the running game after promising starts, exposing Tannehill to the deficiencies of a brutal offensive line (a story for later). Robbed of the support offered by promising backs Lamar Miller and Daniel Thomas, the signal-caller has held the ball too long, telegraphed too many passes and absorbed too many wicked hits. In response, Sherman has largely refused to take advantage of the quarterback’s plus mobility by rolling the pocket, mixing in some quarterback draws or making more frequent use of the spread option.

The big-money new addition, Mike Wallace, was supposed to give Miami the playmaker it has desperately needed to stretch the field. Now, Wallace has been exposed as a limited player in his early days with the ‘Fins, but Sherman has not done enough to get him the ball. In three of the first four games, Wallace averaged fewer than five targets per contest. He has been open a few times deep, but a combination of poor deep-ball accuracy and brutal pass protection have stymied those rare chances.

Return man Marcus Thigpen has shown some ability in certain packages, but his appearances have been rare. The Dolphins have seemed unwilling to punish opposing blitzes with the screen game, and haven’t identified the player(s) who might take a short pass, make someone miss and get down the field.

To be fair, Sherman has mixed in a few new looks following the bye, but it’s hard to find many situations where he is putting Tannehill—and the entire offense—into positions to succeed. Philbin’s pedigree was built on his status as offensive coordinator at Green Bay, but even in the role, he didn’t call the plays, and his advance billing as an innovative offensive thinker hasn’t been on display thus far in Miami.


Nonsensical and Baffling Roster Management Stymie Efforts at Improvement

The Dolphins have been unable to develop young receivers, and cutting promising youngsters like Marvin McNutt and Chad Bumphis at the end of training camp inexplicably left Miami with just four wideouts. These moves meant that an offense that just lost a key weapon in tight end Dustin Keller was going to respond not with more three- and four-wide receiver sets, but by forcing largely untalented inexperienced young tight ends (Charles Clay, Dion Sims, Michael Egnew) into roles that were too big for them.

In the offseason, Miami was allegedly intent to address its turnstile right tackle position. Ireland endured a lukewarm pursuit of trading for Kansas City tackle Branden Albert, but after running a series of tryouts for old veteran tackles with one leg out of the league, settled on Atlanta castoff Tyson Clabo, moving young tackle Jonathan Martin to the left side.

A few games in, this was revealed as an unmitigated disaster, with Clabo routinely getting beaten and the line in general being manhandled by opposing rushers. So what was the solution during the precious bye week? Maintaining the same starting lineup and hoping, apparently (*insert Albert Einstein insanity quote here*).

The powers-that-be somehow seemed surprised when Clabo was routinely overpowered by one of the best pass-rushers in the league in Buffalo’s Mario Williams, which, it could be argued, cost the Dolphins a win over the Bills. This continuation of the inevitable prompted Miami to trade for troubled-and-benched Bryant McKinnie, who was languishing on the bench in Baltimore as his disappointing career faded into obscurity.

On the surface, I don’t have an issue with the McKinnie move: the compensation was nominal (a late-round pick) and the big man is likely capable of plus play over defined periods. However, if this was the choice, how do you not make the trade during the bye week? By doing so, you give yourself extra time to help McKinnie learn the offense and help Martin adjust to going back to the right side. Trying to accomplish both things during the week increased the risk of making the ‘Fins even worse at two positions.

The situation is even more troubling from a draft standpoint. Miami made one of the big moves of April’s draft by trading to the third spot to draft Oregon specimen Dion Jordan—who I firmly believe will become an impact player in the league. However, he has been used only in spots early in his career, and even when he’s on the field, he is often dropped into coverage instead of allowing him to get after the passer. Such usage supports my contention that the Dolphins continue to select players without having a tangible, apparent vision (and path) for how they are to be used in their system.

And as part of a troubling trend, Jordan arrived in Miami with a pre-existing injury—as did second-round pick Jamar Taylor. Through physical ailments and inconsistent usage, the ‘Fins find themselves getting little to no production from any of its top seven draft picks. When the draft is seen as an extension of the offseason plan, this can only be seen as a severe indictment of the ability of Ireland and Philbin to either identify talent, give newcomers the support needed to find success—or both.


Dearth of Emotion and Passion Lead to Pervasive Here-We-Go-Again Atmosphere

Right or wrong, you buy goodwill from the fanbase through openness and a small modicum of access. With the Dolphins, however, the NSA may know more about each fan’s phone habits than those fans do about who is injured from week to week in Miami. In some ways, it feels like an organization at odds with itself: intent on attracting a newer, diverse generation of Dolphins fans, yet hyper-focused on maintaining outdated stances on protecting strategic secrets.

Admittedly, this is a small issue in the grand scheme of things. Of larger import is the absence of leadership, a problem that extends all the way to the top. Philbin’s speeches seem scripted and memorized, while his press conferences sound like a recitation of paint samples at Home Depot. Personality is only a component of what comprises a successful coach, but it was hard to ignore Philbin’s painful awkwardness on display during last year’s season of “Hard Knocks,” and it would be difficult to imagine him inspiring the type of intensity and effort that it takes to boost a franchise to the next level in pursuit of the gold standard in New England.

The post-bye-week egg this team laid at home against a severely diminished division rival should set off enormous alarm bells throughout the franchise. The game seemed like a confirmation of failures in preparation, energy, strategy, resilience and adaptability—collective responsibilities that fall at the feet of a coaching staff that is either overmatched or underprepared.


So, What Happens Next?

I’m not a Bill Parcells fan, but one of his quotes could be fairly apropos in such circumstances: “If they don’t bite as pups, they probably won’t bite.” He used this analogy to describe the play of rookies (which could also fit here), but it could also be applied to young or first-time coaches.

It certainly may feel unfair to judge Philbin’s ability to coach based on a season and a half, but the NFL is short-attention-span theater. It may be that the combination of an older coach trying to learn to be the head guy, paired with a general manager who has had the look of a dead man walking for three years now, could be just too hard to overcome for this franchise.

Could Philbin rally the troops to salvage the season and sneak into a wild-card berth? Sure. Could Ireland make some savvy moves along the way to bolster the roster and help some newcomers make a bigger impact later in the campaign? Possibly. Are the odds of both failing higher than those of having both occur simultaneously? Yes.


The only things that’s for sure is that, in the wake of an offseason that saw Miami invest a quarter of a billion dollars in signings, having a 3-4 record and an 0-2 mark in the AFC East is unacceptable. Throw in a couple more losses to extend the losing streak and embarrass the franchise, and Philbin and Ireland could be just two more lost puppies looking for something to bite in the dog-eat-dog world of NFL unemployment.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Adrenalin-Fueled “The Bourne Legacy” Delivers More Than Expected


I wasn’t sure what to expect out of “The Bourne Legacy,” but I did enjoy the previous movies in the franchise. I’m not a huge fan of Matt Damon, so his absence didn’t trouble me much, though I did wonder where they might take the story. So I’ll go ahead and admit that I was pleasantly surprised by this flick.

Jeremy Renner was a revelation in “The Hurt Locker,” and I thought he was strong in this role—as Aaron Cross—as well. He was among the reasons that “The Bourne Legacy” was driven by really good acting, bolstered by Rachel Weisz, who is always very compelling and magnetic.

This franchise has been based largely on high intensity, plot twists and paranoia, and this edition certainly didn’t stray too far from those core values. “The Bourne Legacy” felt like “Alias” on steroids, and since “Alias” seemed to go onandonandonandonandon, it’s fitting that a somewhat ambiguous ending of this film set up the possibility for another “Bourne” movie.

From a branding and marketing standpoint, Renner had enormous shoes to fill in (essentially) replacing Damon, and the fact he was able to more than pull it off was the main reason why “The Bourne Legacy” overdelivered.



Friday, October 25, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: Spotlight On Odd Personnel Choices For Freefalling ‘Fins, Plus Can State Rally In Tally?



A home loss to a bad Beefalo team
Three straight Ls take the steam
A McKinnie trade on the fly
But why not do it on the bye?
Lotsa questions, few answers, it does seem

A government shutdown finally ends
No plan means nothing to defend
That’s politics of obstruction
Without idea or construction
The Tea Party and insanity does blend

A beatdown in the fake Death Valley
Lotsa Winston and no Tajh rally
Clemson being Clemson, I guess
Now State’s turn to take the test
Gonna be an ugly Saturday in Tally



Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 69



#1
Stormtroopers in pink? I think if C3PO wasn’t gay, he would totally dig this.

#2
There is a kid on Florida State named Sterling Lovelady. It’s hard not to envision him as this guy addressing the team before games.

#3
So who had odds that 2013 playoff goat Raheem Moore—he of the “epic blunder”—would not only still be a member of the Denver Broncos this year, but also the starting free safety?!

#4
Half of parenthood is trying to convince yourself that that stain isn’t what you know it is.

#5
Former Pack great (and Dolphins destroyer) Mario Williams looks like the deputy sheriff (LaMonica Garrett) “Sons of Anarchy.”
















#6
41 “Seinfeld” references in a 5-minute sportcast, then the anchor is one-upped by his co-anchor doing an Elaine dance. This would be my every broadcast. Epic.

#7
This piece gets a bit abstract and existential, but bear with it: It’s well worth it to learn about being born as a parent.

#8
The Coast Guard, the Arctic and the Evelynbear. That is all.

#9
Sean Payton is a tweaker, a cheater and a douche. I guess those are the kinds of things that are celebrated by ESPN. Movin’ right along.

#10
A surfer cliff-jumping off Lighthouse Point in Santa Cruz? Why, sure.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"Empire Strikes Back" Trailer Was All Shades Of Awesome



I love the idea of supplementing the baritone plotline voiceover with cartoon imagery in this fashion.

Too damn cool.



Monday, October 21, 2013

Charlie Channels Charlie ...



Nothing better than a recitation of "Dayman" from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" from a classroom full of Japanese schoolkids ...

Friday, October 18, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: An Abbreviated Week’s-Ender



Pernsley’s intense
Capone has no sense
Van Alden is torn
Eddie’s reborn
Nuck’s gonna need a fence

Injuries to every other guy
Coaching decisions that didn’t fly
The Pack coming up for air
Very few teams out there
In more dire need of a bye

Can the ‘Fins find their stride
Or go on a patented slide?
Better find some blockers
Or they’ll be off their rockers
Are they frauds or bona-fide?



Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Midseason Report: The Scooters Slowly Round Into Team No One Wants To Play



On the strength of a 4-2 record (which includes a painful nine-point loss) and status as the third-highest-scoring team in my 14-team league, I’m relatively pleased with where the Scooters stand halfway through our 12-game slate. Gaining some more consistency from guys like quarterback Cam Newton, receiver Vincent Jackson and tight end Kyle Rudolph—and all have showed positive recent signs—would give this squad a dramatic boost, and that’s the goal at the midway point.

What’s Worked:
The two running backs I identified before the draft as best-case options at pick #13 were LeSean McCoy and Matt Forte, so to be able to land both to jumpstart my draft was, in my mind, quite a coup. As the #2 and #7 RB scorers, respectively, in my league, both have largely lived up to their billing, though of course, I would love to see a few more touchdowns from both. Likewise, the #2 D/ST in my league, the Seahawks, have been as advertised, and again, with room to grow from a turnover and scoring standpoint as the season progresses.

Unearthing Julian Edelman in the 13th round worked out quite well, as he was an  important producer early on, then gave me ammunition to make what I hope will develop into a vital trade.

What Hasn’t:
The buzz was all about the package of plays St. Louis had put together for burner Tavon Austin, who they traded up to land in the first round of the draft. Unfortunately, Austin has been a bust to date, averaging scarcely more per catch than Adrian Peterson does per run, with none of the explosiveness anticipated. Vikings tight end Kyle Rudolph was an afterthought on a team with few offensive weapons for some reason early on, and Jets running back Chris Ivory was beat out, then injured. Newton has been spotty, but not outright awful.

Best Move:
The best measure of this deal won’t come for a few weeks—and hinges largely on whether the Rams decide to involve Jared Cook more—but I feel good about trading Edelman and the Titans D/ST for Cook and Colts wideout T.Y. Hilton. I thought briefly about a later deal to land Aaron Rodgers, but balked on the idea of giving up McCoy or the Seahawks defense and quickly dropped the idea, which could turn out to be a wise decision.

In a move that contained elements of good fortune and heartache, I made an early-morning grab of Rams tailback Zac Stacy, who had just been named the starter, putting him directly into my lineup at the expense of Saints back Pierre Thomas—who would, of course, go on to score 34 points that week (in a nine-point loss, no less). A harsh turn of events at the time, but Stacy is looking more and more like a solid producer down the stretch.

Worst Move:
Outside of the Thomas/Stacy transaction above, I couldn’t make myself pull the trigger on picking up Denver tight end Julius Thomas just before the season began, electing to stand pat with Rudolph and Colts tight end Dwayne Allen. As the season got underway, Thomas emerged as a stud, Rudolph was relegated to appearing on milk cartons and Allen was lost for the year due to injury.

Also in the tight end category, I had Lions tight end Joseph Fauria on my roster for a week before dropping him to make room for the addition of Cook. Fauria then turned in a three-touchdown performance this past week, giving him five touchdowns on nine targets thus far this year. So one might be able to see why I am largely cursing the entire tight end position in general to date.

The Wildcard:
Percy Harvin—and it’s not close. Having taken a late-round flier on him as a keeper option, he is now getting closer to health, which could give my lineup the explosive distance scorer it could use to offset inconsistency throughout the wide receiving corps. If he can return to form, I will be positively stacked at the RB/WR positions.

Outlook:
The Scooters reside in a pretty cutthroat division, making it incumbent upon me to begin continue to make the correct roster management choices in terms of who should start on a weekly basis. If Newton can continue to show signs of life, Harvin can inject some energy into a promising group of wideouts, and either Rudolph or Cook can emerge as an every-week player, I do think that there’s plenty that can go awfully right for my snakebit franchise this year.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Heineken and ... Rasta?



Funny commercial, but I'm guessing Red Stripe isn't quaking in their boots here ...

Friday, October 11, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: Tinkering With A Stacked Roster, Plus My Teams Endure A Fail Slam



After a strong trade
The Scooters well-played
A James Jones TD taken off the board
On my bench, Pierre Thomas soared
Then a patented Cam Newton choke fade

Could it really be the eve of hoops?
A time of practices and recruiting scoops?
A new lineup with new faces
Could put a team in State fans’ graces
As long as they don’t play like selfish poops

Connections to the past
Memories came emotional and fast
Against a backdrop of change
And occurrences strange
The Cody connection will always last

Chapel Hill even more blighted
As more agents get indicted
We may never know the cheating depth
Under Butch’s rug it was swept
The Carolina Way, underlined and highlighted
 
The ‘Fins fell at the very end
The Bears broke instead of bend
State couldn’t stop Campanero, Michael
Called hitting for the shit cycle
Even a hard-luck Scooters loss did offend



Thursday, October 10, 2013

"Prankvertising," Stephen King Style



As if coffee didn't get bowel movements moving fast enough on its own ...

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Monday, October 07, 2013

This Ad Brings The Dusty



A Thai commercial with one giant heart ...



Friday, October 04, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: The Government Turns Its Back (Again), Plus Carrie Cries For More “Homeland”



A Congress rotten
Voters forgotten
Punish those in need
Make the other party bleed
What Tea Party politics has begotten

As football moves on in bliss
Baseball postseason arrives with a hiss
A one-game playoff series?
I have so many queries
First being “Why bother with this?”

Fired in a parking lot
Karma, he finally caught
Lane Kiffin got shit-canned
Pat Haden could be next planned
USC deserves what they’ve got

Wee man’s first football game
The family was glad we came
The Pack in fine form, I’d say
A blowout on a beautiful day
His life will never be the same
 
How we’ve missed Carrie’s cry
And Saul being a complicated guy
“Homeland” is back now
Can it rebound, and if so, how?
And can Brody escape the CIA’s eye?



Wednesday, October 02, 2013

King’s Wistful “Joyland” A Book That Feels Like Summer



“The year I discovered that there are worse things than losing the girl.”

“What’s a self-respecting amusement park without a ghost?”

Stephen King’s “Joyland” was an exquisite fit in the Hard Case Crime series. It took place along the coast of North Carolina (fictional Heaven’s Bay), a place near and dear to my heart. It took just over a week to read. It featured emotional, oft-beautiful prose about coming of age and first loves. It managed to interweave a compelling cold-case plot within it. But it still had one impossible-to-overcome problem, in my estimation:

It was too short.

Of course, that takeaway is a credit to how well-done this quick-hitting, engrossing read was by King.

After all, who wouldn’t be entranced by a story that feels like summer, a coming-of-age tale set in an amusement park on a beach and replete with heartache, mystery, love, creepiness, sexuality and amateur sleuthing? Who wouldn’t be reeled in by a plot twist involving a mysterious, beautiful, large-breasted, strange woman living at the beach?

“When you’re twenty-one, life is a roadmap. It’s only when you get to be twenty-five or so that you begin to suspect you’ve been looking at the map upside down, and not until you’re forty are you entirely sure. By the time you’re sixty, take it from me, you’re fucking lost.”

As with all books, there were a couple of minor issues. I felt that the sense of time and its passage wasn’t depicted all that well by King, and there were a couple of grammatical mistakes and omissions along the way. I felt the murder-mystery aspect of the work was introduced a bit late (200 pages in) for my liking, marking a dramatic shift in the tremendous “feel” of the book.

“All I can say is what you already know: some days are treasure. Not many, but I think in almost every life there are a few. That was one of mine, and when I’m blue ... I go back to it, if only to remind myself that life isn’t always a butcher’s game. Sometimes the prizes are real. Sometimes they’re precious.”

In terms of the various connections between characters, the relationship with Erin Cook was sort of glossed over, as though she was dating Dev’s best friend, shared feelings between Dev and Erin were introduced near the end, leaving no time for exploration. Also, how Dev really feels about Annie isn’t much touched on really—even when she holds his hand for the first time.

The ending featured a clever plot twist, some revelations about maturation, some sad farewells, a pretty ending—hell, even a Larry Csonka poster on a kid’s wall. And much like summer itself, it was difficult to say goodbye to “Joyland.”


“It’s hard to let go. Even when what you’re holding onto is full of thorns, it’s hard to let go. Maybe especially then.”

“No summer is endless.”

“The last good time always comes, and when you see the darkness creeping toward you, you hold on to what was bright and good. You hold on for dear life.”