Back by popular demand ... it's Limerick Friday! Last week's version generated a staggering 42 responses ... plus a visit by Amnesty International. Apparently, along the way, we offended every creed, race, animal, country and 'neck. But like a white Che Guevara, I will not be silenced ... I will continue to provide a forum for expression. Have at it, comrades ...
In the locker room did Casie undress
Dozens of boys did she really impress
Excitedly, off they went
Now they'd like to thank Brent
Because of him they have her IM address
About tae kwon did he constantly whine
Jelly was what made up his spine
Spent his days eavesdropping and spying
Then assumed the fetal position and began crying
The truth hurts even when it’s through the grapevine
There once was a shoddy coach named Nick
In his public persona, he was a dick
And I don’t mean private eye
His excuses never did fly
Hope next year he’s fishin’ in some crick
Like Nicholson in “The Shining”
His manic depression was quite binding
Looked like a worn Fred Flinstone
He tried to dig up dirt alone
Then got offended at what he was finding
Right wing attacks on Alex P. Keaton
Ironically, they think he’s cheating
They’re trying to use his disease
As a way to distract the votees
Hope this election gives them a severe beating
55 comments:
A middle-aged schizo named Jack
As a manager, he had no sack
Shoveled in chocolate Pop Tarts for his belly
Was a cracker slave to a she-devil named Ely
Then he stabbed poor chinless in the back
Has Limerick Friday
Become bust on Will Day?
Be careful what you post thou
He just might go postal
And then you’ll be dead for Halloween
so limerick Friday has begun
steve thinks wills gonna grab his gun
I'm pretty excited I made the first post
scooter is definitely a phenomenal host
I do hope today we can keep it all in good fun
Brent said “Pick a costume for Casie”
Paul and Will said “Wear something racey!”
She may not be a prude
But don’t be crude
Just help a the poor girl out of a bind
So i went on a date with a hottie
but i wasn't thinkin' 'bout her body.
i wanted to know her mind,
and be with her all for sometime,
i think i'll eat my pumpkin biscotti
lame...but i'm just warming up.
There once was a no-neck named Cord
Who had the IQ of a gourd
He lied about working for Dell
9/11 bullshit condemned him to hell
With him, MSI lost more $ than Ford
Once new a no rhymin' dude name Steve,
who took shots of planes that had speed,
he doesn't know a limerick rhymes on lines 1, 2 and 5
when his wife get's drunk she picks up the knives,
and ye'lls "i think the boy stealing the moped should leave."
The axe swung at msi yesterday
doug's head got in the way
his protein bars and shakes are gone
but he wont be alone for long
rumor is more will be canned today
i got my head shaved and look mean,
but more like a bouncer who eats no protein,
i think i need some food real bad,
my stomach is growling and i'm mad,
b/c i really need some caffeine.
A no-neck lying cult leader
Like Jim Jones except a little creepier
Pretended to fight for the rest
A Bulls game made them say, "He's the best!"
Now he sneaks away while the boat gets leakier
a hostile Limmerick Friday it is
MSI should not be in biz
the management if is a bunch of fools
if you have tits, over you they will drool
i'm glad I got out of that piece of shit before it started going in the pooper!
Evan's last limmerick rhymes like steve's or will's but it came from the heart...
I need to quit lollygagging today.
the rhymes are better when personal attacks,
without insults the bite they do lack,
i really want some food,
but for driving i'm not in the mood
i'd really like some flapjacks.
have I mentioned I love limerick Friday
cuz I never know what anonymous will say
really must've hated msi
makes me laugh so hard I might just cry
I hope evan's not right for my buddies I'll pray
everyone loves limmerick friday dood
it puts you in that fun friday mood
unless will is your name
and rhyming is not your game
does anyone remember that game Snood?
Oh fuck I just lost my job
I should have left right after Bob
I took it in the ass
The only job I can get now is to cut grass
Eh, I’ll spend a few months as a couch potato slob
Gotta Love my Virginia Tech Hokies
Last night they did better than okie-dokie
The Tigers they did spank
Next, we're taking Miami to the bank
Oh how we love to do the Hokie-Pokey!!!
Loved to see his name online
Justified his ego-driven mind
His arrogance gave off a stench
Might as well have been speaking French
Next tattoo will say "Blog love is blind"
I flirt with the girls on Myspace
In hopes of getting them to my place
It will be a night they’ll never forget
The best spanking they’ll ever get
But all I end up is kicked in the face
In Your windows the rain will fall
no more emails to tell All
soaked your front seats will be
the little mexican was a friend to me
No more Marco, cleaning the stalls
There once was a company in Morrisville
Among others, i worked there with Will
In a year it went down the toilet
Piss poor management obviously spoiled it
Too bad, because at times it was quite a thrill
Sad to hear about some people getting laid off. Also sad that a place with so much promise was run into the ground.
Job cuts without any explainin'
Working there must be quite drainin'
Everyone loves amazing Marco
How the hell could you let him go?
Now I get sad every time it's rainin'
Add Garrett's name to the list
it seems he just got dissed
Who will maintain SEL?
For all I care they can rot in Hell
But Frenchy's too cool, I'm sure he's not pissed.
WTF Marco's Fired?
He was there WAY before I was hired
He worked hard everyday
And some of us were brats, I have to say
He can easily find a new job, if desired.
I use to be in love with Kya
To her my johnson would always say hi ya
I sent her an e-card
But as team lead I was a retard
my name is ken magee
Garrett also is gone, how?
That surprises me, wow.
What has MSI done?
Now that all the competence is gone?
Who do they have left now?
they fired Marco? that is just wrong.
Ode to a fellow named Marco
He probably hasn't seen Donny Darko
Day after day he busted his hump
For a company run by Forrest Gump
Prince Adam's buddy was Orko
I guess i should have seen coming, but it doesn't make getting laid off any easier. Nice way to start my weekend:-(
A company run by some jokers
Decisions made over pokers
Best be in the loop
Or get tossed out like poop
Should have hung outside with the smokers
Totally not cool to anonymously diss any one,
Why do you feel the need to poke fun?
Ken had good client management skills he brought,
He was an easy person to work with I thought,
Is there anything bad he had done?
honkeyknocker was his name
email newsletters were his game
he'll be fine, he has a sugar mama
i think he hung around for the drama
Now who will give you a nickname?
With WebSourced Paul is in cahoots
Gives bad advice and for Will roots
Employees are hearing the alarm sound
Remember the words of your twin, Short Round
"Indy, Indy -- No more parachutes!"
MSI - from rags to riches back to rags
too bad you cant make money from selling meta tags
With awful names like MarketSmart Interactive, Websourced, & Keyword Ranking,
We all should've known the company was tanking
Thank you Martins & Campaugh, you were a bunch of scum bags
A
Anonymous, totally not cool.
How could I be in cahoots with WBS, I am no fool.
Way before all that started,
I gracefully departed
don't ruin the great memories I had there, dude.
Ken Magee was the man
in kya's door he'd always stand
micro managing was his thing
He fought Doran to give kya a ring
Ken was nice but stuck in Kya-Land
these are bringing up bad memories
Our pink slips lay on the printer
A mistake or a heart cold as winter?
While feasting on pricey lunch
An inner sanctum picked out a bunch
And coldly removed us much like a splinter
Anonymous, please leave Paul alone
Even tho you are clearly in the humor zone
Let's focus on those who have lost
The jobs from which they were tossed
I agree Kya would give a dog a bone
Anonymous - i know you're pissed right now, but you had to see this shit coming...
we need something happier...
Halloween is nearly upon us
Poor Casie is making a fuss
She wanted something as cutesies as dimples
But everything she finds show off her nipples
In my opinion costumes with crotches are use-luss
ok - that was a stretch, but i worked nipples and a crotchless costume into a limerick. that has to count for something.
That hobbit-like dude was pretty nice
Even if he got let go twice
Knocking back O'Mulligan's brews
While he tried to fit lifts in his shoes
Will he try to come back and be fired thrice?
that brandow sure is funny
he can take crap and make it into honey
everyone should just take a step back
we are all aware that this shit is whack
smile for what you have and try to be sunny
There once was a schlock house name KeywordRanking
Their Google phone would prevent rankings from tanking
Andy Beal & Chadd work their magic
At doing nothing more than marketing themselves...so fucking tragic
To all those left behind, be thankful..karma will eat those bastards up along with all of dubious baggage.
People marketing themselves well? That's great.
Beal, with WBS, he failed to negotiate.
Beal had the insight to know when stuff's about to hit the fans.
He parted before it did, made alternate plans.
I'd like to market myself as an industry expert, in five years or eight!
i agree with casie and her stand,
can't bury your head in the sand,
you new your day would come
now sit back and enjoy the puns
now you can rest and work on your tan
MSI layoff: such a tragic
Jobs can come and go like magic
If you have no family or real estate
and to DC you're willing relocate
I know some job openings in tech and editorial for the public
ppzhao at aol.com: send what type of job you're looking for, willing to help anyone in need.
Zhao the humanitarian
like Will the Vegetarian
they try to help the people gel
but really they both just smell
i should have been a librarian
i hate really sad limericks,
rather hear about an MSI girl turning tricks,
would've been nice to be CFO that day,
must of been quite a display,
eyes so crossed she couldn't stack bricks.
No one care about VaTech
'cept those with a red neck
next think you'll say is go Duke
and that will make me puke
the school on your degree you must check
evan talks about me be being vegetarian
i think he means to say humanitarian
but no matter 'cause he went to ag school,
where readin' ritin' and riflin' do rule,
legs so fat they got his poor pants swearin'
Virginia Tech is better than State
I wondered who'd take that bait
Wolfpack sports are always mediocre
Attendees should stick to strip poker
If you disagree, lets start a debate
I'll sit here with my smirk
While you look for new work
My degree may not be from Duke or Tech
But you're the one that needs to run a check
Hey! You could always be a clerk!
one a bong once i did hit,
but now i get high on limericks
it is so sad that's what it takes,
i still have munchie love for hostess cakes,
to women though I can not commit.
I agree with Anon, harsh V-tech fans may be.
I don't like Hokies either, they smell like Pee-Pee.
Thats all about Hokies, first 2 lines were great.
I think Will is funny, I know he'll get a date.
Kick him while he's down Susie, or just stab him in the knee.
Mediocre athletics, this year maybe right.
We can not help it, Chuck can only win at night.
National Championship flow to us, Like Will gets Ass.
State just won another one, fishing for Bass.
Pack will be back, we don't go down w/o a fight!
Thanks to all for a prolific Limerick Friday
I laughed and I cried and I said "No way"
A shoutout to our friends who are down
You no longer have to work for a clown
May you find a respectable job with better pay
Suck it up u bunch of loser dinks
Do u really think just management stinks?
Take yor heads out of asses and breathe
A lack of oxygen is making u seethe
U can cry and moan that “we were screwed”
But look in the mirror – you’re the finks
What an impressive display of grammar
Makes Will look like a winner of the Pulitzer
You don't know the definition of "dink" or "fink"
Must be a manager who almost got a slip that was pink
But if your life is just gambling and poker, perhaps you are the loser?
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