Showing posts with label Buckeyes Blow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Buckeyes Blow. Show all posts

Friday, February 21, 2025

Limerick Friday #630: It's Been A Month And Nothing Is OK -- Day 1,800

 
While our reps cower
The tools have seized power
Brain cells are lacking
And the crimes are stacking
Locked away in the Irony Tower

For years, they've been stuck in a mire
No matter the talent they did acquire
Culture change needed
With Ben Johnson, they heeded
Did the Bears just nail a coach hire?

Ethics never matter to ESPN
Hypocrisy is a matter of when
Kirk Herbstreit crying on air?
Because OSU won the title, I swear
Journalism just died yet again

"Loudermilk" a breath of fresh air
I giggle at almost every swear
But not just raunchy and overdone
It's got a heart as big as the sun
The emotions for which I did not prepare

As winter storms clear
Spring training is here
As the Mets chase a pennant
Getting used to Soto will take a minute
For Iglesias, I do shed a tear


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 71


#1
I would like to live to there ...

#2
“The rise of a different kind of mainstream press, devoted to telling the plain, unvarnished truth, without fear or favor, instead of propping up a false equivalency and calling it objectivity, would also be a great improvement.” ~Sean Wilentz, Rolling Stone

#3
OK, I’ll bite ... how is more not made of Gene Steretore performing as an NFL referee AND a high-Division-I college basketball official?! Dude has essentially reached the pinnacle of two professions.

#4
There was never enough time, manly pacifier. There was never enough time.

#5
There has never been a more Ohio State name than Jack Mewhort. Who plays for Ohio State.

#6
When TV is realer than real-life, or That Time When Edward Snowden Met Harold Finch.

#7
I’ve heard George Costanza described in a lot of ways and even more things that have been attributed to him, but a “hipster pioneer”? Hell, I’ll buy it.

#8
A four-year-old moved to tears by a song. No words from me, just two thumbs up.

#9
Finally, a rug that truly ties everything together ...

#10
When AT-ATs meet snowboarders in Hoth Sochi.

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 69



#1
OK, yeah, so I could totally buy this assessment of Ohio State fans ...

#2
I think I have to agree with Sean Wilentz of Rolling Stone, who wrote this about the de-evolution of journalism, which echoes some of what the TV show “Newsroom” tries to depict:

“At some point over the past 40 years, the bedrock principle of journalistic objectivity became twisted into the craven idea of false equivalency, whereby blatant falsehoods get reported simply as one side of an argument and receive equal weight with the reported argument of the other side.

“There is no shortage of explanations for the press’s abdication: intimidation at the rise of Fox News and other propaganda operations; a deep confusion about the difference between hard-won objectivity and a lazy, counterfeit neutrality; and the poisonous effects of the postmodern axiom that truth, especially in politics, is a relative thing, depending on your perspective in a tweet. Whatever the explanation, today’s journalism has trashed the tradition of fearless, factual reporting pioneered by Walter Lippmann, Edward R. Murrow and Anthony Lewis.”

#3
When the whining around what color the grass is painted at midfield is more strenuously contested than the actual game, you know you’re watching college football in North Carolina.

#4
If you’re a true “Seinfeld” fan, I defy you to pronounce Roy Helu’s name without thinking of this “Seinfeld” episode.

#5
I don’t know who Ruby is, but she had a rather awesome “Star Wars” party.

#6
Most of life/the world is rigged. Accepting that and just trying your best would appear to be a big part of finding happiness.

#7
I often wonder what we’d do without the insights gleaned from science: A study indicated that men really do ogle women’s bodies. Also, this:

“Those bodies with larger breasts, narrower waists and bigger hips often prompted longer looks.”

Science at its most essential right here, folks.

#8
Watching “Legendary Nights” documentary about Arturo Gatti and Mickey Ward, I gained a newfound respect for Jim Lampley, a guy I had a hard time embracing as a commentator. Lampley was openly weeping when talking about Round 9 of Gatti-Ward I, to be followed in tears by Larry Merchant, the referee and essentially everyone involved in this emotional piece.

#9
To those who struggle with leaving the wee ones behind every morning, “The Lamentof the Working Parent” rings both true and timely ...

#10
I think Robert Kirkman of the “The Walking Dead” hit the nail on the head on our society in this Rolling Stone interview:


“A hundred years ago, we were living in houses we built, growing food we ate, interacting with our families. That’s a life that makes sense. Now, we’re doing jobs we don’t enjoy to buy stuff we don’t need. We’ve screwed things up.”

Friday, August 02, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: The Open Reveals Mickelson Brilliance, Plus “V” Smiles As Whitt Returns



A round to remember for Philly Mick
Played sublime though the greens were quick
Tamed Muirfield on this day
And he proved along the way
One can win and not be a complete prick

Under the searing, humid skies
Receivers are dropping like flies
Though hope still hangs in the air
Cohesion on the O-line is pretty rare
The Hall of Fame Game should open some eyes

With bankruptcy that was hard to miss
The auto industry died
When the conservatives lied
A great American city with no pot to piss

Bash religion and the SEC all day
Leave for $6 million in pay
“Retired” in ignorant glee
I guess it’s the Buckeye way

Dereck Whittenburg to the rack
Once again he’ll run with the Pack
The sidelines he’ll roam
A legend’s come home
Can he bring the ’83 magic back?



Friday, June 07, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: Sweeping The Hated Yanks A Rare Bright Spot For Mets, Plus Joan Steals The Show (As Usual) On “Mad Men”



Four times they faced the Yanks
And they came up with four spanks
For the Metsies, a sweet sweep
From the Bronx, nary a peep
For a light in a lost season, many thanks

He cracked on Catholics with glee
And he’s a Mormon? I see
The latest Buckeyes prick
Pulled a self-disappearing trick
Enjoy “retirement,” Gordon Gee

Another fake-tough-guy tool
Trying too hard to be cool
Then he refused to handshake
As the Heat left him in their wake
Hibbert, just one more poser fool

Had sacks of quarterback bones
Filled foes with whimpers and moans
One of the faces of the NFL
A demon of pass-rushing hell
Rest in peace, Mr. Deacon Jones
 
Power struggles abounded
Don on hash nearly drownded
Roger got punched in the beans
Joan got a client with forward leans
Turmoil everywhere, the alarms sounded



Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 54



#1
Walter Bishop’s lab security detail, FBI Agent Tim (Jarod Joseph), is a dead ringer for former Wolfpack standout quarterback Russell Wilson.

#2 So I won an ACC Tournament pool. Then I won an NCAA tourney pool (even getting within a single point of the correct tiebreaker). But I didn’t win the Mega Millions. Shit ain’t right.

#3
It’s hard to watch a good show go downhill. Unfortunately, that’s what has happened with “Bones,” which has lost the entire narrative and exhausted nearly all plot developments involving key characters. It appears the days are numbered for Booth and Bones.

#4
This week’s beer recommendation is “471 Small Batch,” a double-hopped IPA from Breckenridge Brewery. Quite choice.

#5
I find it pretty hysterical that the SEC is still called out as the “cheating conference.” Haven’t we finally arrived at a point where we can all understand that this is bad everywhere? After all, the most recent major cheating offenders are USC, Ohio State, UNC and Miami; hmmm ... not an SEC school among them.

#6
If I ever make an album, I’m probably just going to title it “Greatest Hits.”

#7
It might be just me, but I’m pretty sure Lily on “How I Met Your Mother” has been pregnant for roughly four-and-a-half years.

#8
This just in: Urban Meyer is pretty much a douche. Also, the sun tends to shine.

#9
With a great vibe, the new series “Magic City” is “Sopranos” meets “Mad Men.”

#10
We’ll end with a bit of “Fringe” talk as well. As someone who has long considered it the best show on TV, this season has validated that feeling over and over and over again. The episode last week had a “These are not the droids you’re looking for” blast from Walter, then ended with the revelation that future Henrietta is Peter and Olivia’s daughter.

What a damn show.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: Kim Jong Il No Longer So “Ronery,” Plus Mayweather Finally Behind Bars



Rarely has a death brought more thrill
Then the demise of Kim Jong Il
Team America nailed you deft
With “Rittre to the left
Of you, the world had its fill

Asked one dude if his mom has a ho
His draft busts just come and go
First he was Tuna’s bitch
Then he was Sparano’s snitch
Jeff Ireland can’t stay -- this you must know

Clemson thought Jones was ‘tarded
One school after another, he discarded
‘Til UNC thought he could thrive
He’s the latest violation to arrive
A jackass and eligibility are soon parted

The Buckeyes got off light
Only the vest has a plight
But Urban is on board
Until he quits or gets bored
Cheating in Columbus is a right

As a person, always an epic fail
Now he’ll get a taste of jail
Played the system to keep winnin’
Ducked the best, but hit women
Floyd’s legacy? A fraud’s tale

Last time

Friday, November 25, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: Ohio State Goes From The Frying Pan Into The Fire, Plus Matt Moore’s Arm Punts Lift Miami


Twice he did up and quit
A douche more than a little bit
Urban keeps up the lies
Will join the cheatin’ Buckeyes
To see how the vest does fit

If it wasn’t for bad luck
My team wouldn’t suck
A team full of chokers
Frauds, busts and jokers
Fantasy season ain’t worth a &uck

Rough few weeks to be fair
Tired of the doctor’s chair
Grateful to be living
Wish you a happy T’giving
Relaxation would certainly be rare

A season of hiccups and burps
Then destroyed the Tiger twerps
Helped Clemson remember
They’re Clemson in November
Now will they choke vs. the Terps?

Three in a freaking row?
Still such a long way to go
No more Suck for Luck
All in like a Matt Moore duck
A rainbow in a season of woe

Last time

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 44


#1
RIP to Chris Hondros, one of those rare talents who was able to elevate photography to artistry and wield a piece of technology like an elegant paintbrush. NC State -- and journalism -- lost one of the best, tragically.

#2
If you’ve ever been to San Francisco, you’ve undoubtedly noticed the jammed-together homes. Well, this enterprising owner worked around permits by building a fold-in garage into his Victorian house. Bravo, sir; bravo.

#3
Your reaction to the news that the last typewriter manufacturer has shut its doors probably falls into one of two camps: 1) “Man, I can’t believe that!” or 2) “Holy shit, people were still manufacturing typewriters!?”
My trusty typewriter and I spent way too much time together, and not only did it get me through college, but I still have it. Farewell, typewriters.

#4
Yeah, I know the NFL Draft is now several months past, but I have to say: The ESPN Bizarro World honchos thought it best to put Jon Gruden in charge of grading quarterbacks and Bill Parcells in charge of compiling the draft board. Who the fuck thought it was OK to make these appointments on Opposite Day?

#5
I don’t have much to add to this one: “Go the Fuck to Sleep” is just a flat-out epic children’s book.

#6
Maybe it’s just me, but after the offseason that Ohio State had, adding a guy who just got arrested on felony theft charges at a casino to your coaching staff doesn’t feel like, you know, a dramatic change in direction for the program.

#7
I fell in love with this visual representation of “how books work.”

#8
I watched all of the NBA playoffs and really was only left with two vivid impressions: Chris Bosh kind of looks like Snoop Dogg and Russell Westbrook has tiny ears.

#9
I’d like to think that we can all agree that planking has jumped laid down on the shark.

#10
The Miami Dolphins haven’t had much to cheer about for years, but Jim Mandich always seemed to find a reason to do so anyway. You will be missed, Mad Dog.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: How Many Prongs Does It Take To Get Probation, Plus Tiger, Lebron And Pryor Run For The Hills


Scandal rocks the college football beat
The NCAA turning up the heat?
USC stripped of its crown
Tressel run outta town
Will they really give a pass to UNC-Cheat?

CBS was prayin’ and hopin’
But Tiger won’t play in the US Open
Maybe he’ll work on his game
To try to restore his name
Or maybe he’ll be at IHOP, gropin’

Congressmen are just horny elves
Hide their secrets in closets, on shelves
Sending pictures of your junk
Makes you a demented punk
Weiner jokes wrote their own selves

The King came up with the lames
Now the Heat are running outta games
M.I.A. during crunch time
For no valid reason or rhyme
What’ll be your legacy, LeBron James?

When you lay in bed with a liar
You may wake up to be fired
Sold your soul for a cash cow
What to show for it now?
No coach and see ya, Terrelle Pryor

Last time

Friday, June 03, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: The Midwest’s Tattooed Cheaters, Plus The Diesel Finally Runs Outta Gas


Everyone piles on the SEC
But Ohio State is the dirtiest, you see
The media loved him and guessed
That class equalled glasses and a vest
Jim Tressel, the biggest fraud (next to UNC’s)

Summer TV is here, nothing’s on
Every good show has come and gone
Guess I’ll turn to “Twin Peaks”
Because reality TV mostly reeks
And I can’t stand watching the Heat and LeBron

Romney the latest GOP nitwit
To be Prez, he thinks he’s fit
He continues a long douche line
Compared to Palin, guess he’s fine
But dude, your f*&king name is Mitt

Life with no football is hell
A lockout over who gets to buy and sell
The fans lose out in the end
There’s no one left to defend
Tread lightly or lose us all, NFL

The NBA’s last fun thing
Fell short of a Celtics ring
Loved it when Kobe he dissed
Shaq Fu will certainly be missed
Thinking of hoops without him does sting

Last time

Friday, April 29, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: Oddity Surrounds NFL Draft, Plus Emmanuel Lewis Transfers


Does Ireland know his craft?
Because it’s time for the NFL Draft
Will the Dolphins pick another bust?
Will they fill a need or a must?
As a franchise, we need a life raft

At cheating, Tressel’s the best
As Youngstown State can attest
A fraud of the biggest kind
Ohio State is outta their mind
At last, find honor and fire the Vest

The campaigns, they start a-revvin’
A birth certificate?! Good heaven
Bunch of spoiled, pretentious pigs
They spread lies and wear awful wigs
Welcome to politics in 2011

He sucked last year, and lots
Granted, the whole offense rots
But Marshall was supposedly rehabbed
Then, of course, he got stabbed
A tiger don’t be changin’ his spots

He sounded like Webster with his squeals
Sat out with hurty tummy vs. Heels
Was only a YouTube sensation
But inspired hope amongst Pack Nation
One of those grow-up-and-good-riddance deals

Last time

Friday, April 01, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVX: Boom Shaka Laka?, Plus Wait ‘Til Next Year Almost Here For Mets


Optimism abounded from the start
Forgot to put the horse before the cart
We’ll Shaka the world, they say
When the new coach arrives one day
Only option left that is Smart?

Consistent cheater through the years
Fake apology and crocodile tears
Keep lying, fraudulent Jim Tressel
In a cell, you and Clarett can nestle
Just keep kissing those booster rears

Didn’t see it coming, the tool
Ignored his failure like a fool
A fake “expert” who didn’t know shit
Kept biting until he got bit
I hear unemployment is the new cool

Chasing the March Madness dream
With upsets that make us all scream
A mockery, most tourney pools
Makin’ us all look like damn fools
Happy to have one Final Four team!

Baseballs and spring in the air
Hope alive from here to there
Even the Mets have a shot, I say
After all, it’s Opening Day
At least a month before I don’t care

Last time

Friday, March 11, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: Jim Tressel Is The Fraud We Thought He Was, Plus The Final Frontier for Discovery


Another violation for Ohio State
But it won’t open the NCAA floodgate
A mild suspension for the Vest
Big 10 class? Surely you jest
When you’re 42, will those tattoos look great?

Protests on the Wisconsin government floor
A stirring speech from one Michael Moore
The rich are mocking us all
Up with people ‘til they all fall
Will this debate go down in our country’s lore?

An ending we all have to hate
Sid Lowe has now sealed his fate
Out with a whimper, not a bang
Even though there’s no bannger to hang
Your legacy won’t be tarnished at NC State

Psychiatry has to be rough
They feel they’re not paid enough
So they just take out their pads and quills
And prescribe you a buttload of pills
Addicting America ‘cuz your job’s tough?!

Discovery’s final journey to space
Science and technology won’t win this race
The beauty that is out there, it seems
We’ll explore only in dreams
As our minds dance across the moon’s face

Last time

Friday, January 07, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: Michigan Searches To Find Class, Plus The ‘Fins Embark On Another Impending Coaching Disaster


After a coupla weeks in hiatus, without further ado …

Dick Rod got the shit-can
He’s the bane of every Wolverines fan
Told you all he was a bad fit
Now he asks, confused as shit,
“What the fuck is a Michigan Man?”

A new year arrives roarin’ and revvin’
Time for a resolution or seven
I greet it with gratitude and thanks
And refreshed from the Outer Banks
Is it really 2011?! Good heaven

Ohio State gets a pass from the NCAA
BCS says to Auburn, “You’re OK”
College sports has become such a joke
If cheaters punished, they’d go broke
So UNC-Cheat will likely get away

Birds are falling from the sky
Dead fish are piling high
Is it the apocalypse now?
Mother Earth striking back and how?
For many, more proof the end is now

Not a huge fan of Sparano, per se
But they’re handling him the wrong way
Interviewing with douches like Harbaugh
While he rides an emotional see-saw
Should still respect a lame duck, wouldn’t you say?

Last time

Friday, November 26, 2010

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: Thanksgiving Makes Me Wonder Where The F 2010 Went, Plus Heels And Buckeyes Are Embarrassing


A Happy T-Bird Day to one and all
Leaves, turkey and beers mean it’s fall
Throw in disappointment as well
And visits that feel more like hell
But hey, it’ll still be a freaking ball!

They relied on more thug stuff
‘Til the Pack showed who was tough
Left Bitch an embarrassed foe
For the fourth year in a row
Guess you’re not cheating well enough

The Mets prospects keep fallin’s
Behind guys like Jimmy Rollins
New York has a must-win decree
But on one question fans can agree
Who the fuck is Terry Collins?

A short trip over to UNC-Cheat
To make those little sheep bleat
From kickoff to the end of the day
We hit harder than the NCAA
Gotta love a freaking four-peat

From irrelevance comes Ohio State
With reminder of why we hate
Their prez dismisses Boise, TCU out west
When both could kick the shit out of the Vest
Buckeyes trying to again back through the BCS gate

Last time

Friday, July 30, 2010

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: Betty’s Turned The Tables On Dandy Don, Plus Mo Clarett And Lane Kiffin Deserve Each Other


“Mad Men’s” return did resound
Don’s confidence nowhere to be found
Can no longer just create and yell
Now he has to actually sell
No Betty, so pays a ho to slap him around

The story of Clarett is sad, alas
Ohio State covered for this jackass
From shoulder pads to prison blue
OSU to jail and back to OSU
Will he get his “Goose on” in class?

Another conservative racist attackin’
So the FDA sends Sherrod packin’
This GOP racist knob
Costs a pioneer her job
The White House’s response was lackin’

Fantasy draft is just around the bend
Don’t know where to start, much less end
Pick right in the middle
No ideas, not even a little
Might close my eyes, click and send

Was shitcanned by Al Davis? OK
Went to Tennessee for a week and a day
Brought Vols fans outta lethargy
Then they burned him in effigy
USC on probation, now he’s sued? Oy vey

Last time

Friday, July 02, 2010

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIV: Say It Ain’t So, Michael Scott, Plus Butt Favre Is Jealous Of NBA FA


Couldn’t stop it, try as I might
Knew it was a battle I couldn’t fight
Feared the day Carell left the show
Now where does “The Office” go?
Maybe Dunder-Mifflin to be run by Dwight

Could this be the end of Roger?
They’re labeling him an old codger
But his demise has been predicted for years
Yet he still wins titles in tears
Don’t rule out a comeback for this artful dodger

Turns out Canadians are the same
Their cops beat the peaceful like a game
They’re as corrupt as the U.S. oil biz
He who protests will get his
The G20 interrupted—who’s to blame?

NBA free agency makes us all dumber
The league itself is a bit of a bummer
The top players had a summit
As NBA ratings did plummet
Favre: “You’re supposed to pay attention to me this summer!”

Jeezus struck by lightning, oh-my-oh!
Good heavens, don’t I know!
A six-story statue in rubble
Guess it needed a protective bubble
Why is irony always found in Ohio?

Last time …

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Defense, Linebackers Order Of The Day In Dolphins Draft


The Dolphins draft this year reminded me (*insert dry heave here*) of when Lil’ Nicky Satan was the head man and drafted only players that he coached at LSU, played against in the SEC, or recruited at one point or another. Miami’s staff coached in the Senior Bowl this year, which gave them an opportunity to put a lot of these guys through the paces and work them out extensively. While I want to believe that using the first four picks on players they coached in that game shows that they took full advantage of that opportunity, I also have to wonder whether it is a bit shortsighted and sends the message that they don’t trust their scouts enough. Food for thought.

There is also an ancillary (look it up) concern that Miami is stockpiling a lot of white, slow players from the Big 10, a league that has pretty much jumped the shark as a national power. I feel the ‘Fins have suffered from a relative lack of speed and playmaking ability on defense for a few years now, so I have to question whether they did enough to address that concern in this draft.

However, taking an optimistic view (like the one espoused here), this is a solid, sound draft, if you believe the premise that Miami stuck to their board and value chart throughout. I have an issue with not addressing some offseason priorities and picking a tight end or a kick returner -- hell, they didn’t take a skill-position player at all -- and waiting so long to target a safety, but beyond that, the Dolphins attacked their weak defense with abandon. The hope is that all of these defensive additions (seven of eight picks on that side of the ball), combined with the addition of defensive coordinator Mike Nolan, will pay huge dividends in 2010. While taking so many linebackers seemed excessive, you do have to keep in mind that Jason Taylor, Joey Porter and Akin Ayodele were all jettisoned this offseason.

Finally, when you diagnose this eight-man haul, you’re better-served by considering it a 10-man haul. Don’t forget that dynamic wideout Brandon Marshall and former San Diego linebacker Tim Dobbins were landed in trades using picks from this draft (and in Marshall’s case, a second-rounder next year as well), so when you take those two into consideration as well, it begins to take shape as a potentially special draft.

Anyway, here’s a quick player-by-player (you can click on the individual name for a draft profile from NFL.com) look at Miami’s Class of 2010

First Round, #28 Overall: DE/DT Jared Odrick, Penn StateThe Dolphins made a somewhat-confusing trade-down from the #12 overall pick, netting the #28 and #40 picks from the Chargers, along with backup inside linebacker and special-teamer. Miami also apparently switched spots in the fourth round (dropping back from #110 to #126) and sent a sixth-rounder to San Diego in the deal. In retrospect, I question whether the ‘Fins got enough in the deal, but they were rather desperate to trade down and recoup the second-rounder, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt (and hope Dobbins is something more than anticipated).
As to Odrick, he’s supposed to be a high-energy player, but there are concerns that he’s a ‘tweener—not quite big enough to play the nose in a 3-4 alignment and not quite athletic enough to play defensive end either. Checking in at 6-5, 304 pounds, there were questions about how often Odrick loses his feet, but Miami appeared to grab him in the right spot, though the question becomes how he can be most effectively used in a rotation with Philip Merling, Tony McDaniel, Randy Starks, Kendall Langford, etc.
On a side note, this selection is supposed to make more sense based on the revelation that Starks, who racked up seven sacks as an end last year, would be moving to nose tackle. Now, there’s little doubting that Merling, in particular, has been an underachiever, so the possibility exists that Odrick comes in, wins a starting job and Starks handles nose duties well despite his limited size. But the potential is certainly there for this question to be answered in the affirmative: does this actually make the Dolphins weaker at two positions (nose tackle and defensive end)? Reeks a little bit of desperation to me, so stay tuned.

Second Round, #40 Overall: OLB Koa Misi, Utah
Some viewed this as a good value pick, some think it was a reach. All I know is that Miami loves freaking Samoans and also love kids from Utah (*shrug*). This selection was thrown into even more confusion when general manager Jeff Ireland was reportedly discussing the wrong guy in attributing three sacks to Misi that were actually notched by someone else. Odd, to say the least.
At 6-3, 251, is Misi big enough to hold up against the run? As an over-achiever type, he was not super-productive at Utah, so how high is his ceiling?
I dig the emphasis on four-year players with high motors, but I’m just not sure I see this pick. I just have this sinking feeling that passing on Texas end/linebacker Sergio Kindle (to Baltimore at pick #43, which was Miami’s original slot before the Brandon Marshall trade) is going to come back to haunt the ‘Fins in a big way.

Third Round, #79 Overall: OL John Jerry, Mississippi
This was a kid that Miami fell in love with at the Senior Bowl, but with so many tremendous players till on the board, this was a luxury pick that the Dolphins simply couldn’t afford, in my estimation. He’s massive at 6-5, 328 pounds, but the ‘Fins have invested a shit-ton of time, money and resources in the offensive line, and with so many needs elsewhere, I’m not sure I can buy this guy as a too-good-to-pass-up pick. Guard is something of a need, but Miami had and still does have bodies to throw at the spot.
On the plus side, at least Jerry provided the line of the day when he was asked about his injury history and responded that he “had hemorrhoids once, but that’s about it.”

Fourth Round, #119 Overall: LB A.J. Edds, Iowa
For the fourth straight pick, Miami tabbed a kid that the Dolphins coaches got to work with up close and personal at the Senior Bowl. With a selection that was traded from the Colts to the Patsies to the ‘Fins, Miami gets another Big 10 defender who could have a future as a nickel/cover linebacker—he grabbed five picks as a senior. At 6-4, 246 pounds, he’s got good size for the 3-4, but there is no consensus as to his athleticism. The interception total would seem to indicate good instincts and he has been credited with leadership and nonstop-motor qualities, but I would say there were still lots of good safeties on the board.
To me, here’s where the Chargers trade could have hurt Miami: by dropping back from #110 to #126 (and then back up to #119) in this round, Miami missed out on BYU tight end Dennis Pitta, a personal favorite at a position of high need for the Dolphins. I understand the need for 3-4 linebackers, but let’s be serious about it—after adding six linebackers this offseason, Miami will bring 14 into minicamps and potentially training camp. How many linebackers are they planning on carrying? And carrying that argument forward, how many of these draft picks are just going to end up getting cut anyway?

Fifth Round, #145 Overall: CB Nolan Carroll, MarylandI live in ACC country and cover ACC football for Pack Pride. And I’ve never heard of this kid. So I guess it makes sense that this is the draft pick Miami got for Ned Ginn, because all indications are that this guy is a super athlete with huge durability and injury concerns. At 5-11, 204 pounds, he has solid size for the corner position and could eventually develop into a nickel or dime back, but I guess I would feel a lot better about this selection if the kid has some level of kick-return ability, which is yet another huge need for the Dolphins. It’s hard to get too caught up in calling a fifth-round guy a reach, but most seem to feel that they were much better values still on the board at this stage.


Fifth Round, #163 Overall: FS Reshad Jones, Georgia
Finally, the ‘Fins tab a safety, but they have to trade up to do it. The word is that some had Jones as a third-round talent, so Miami traded up to get him with a selection that was alternately owned by the Rams, the Saints, the Eagles and the Redskins at one point or another.
The 6-1, 214-pound Jones has been described as a head hunter, a guy who aims for the hit that sends guys to the sidelines rather than going for interceptions. If that’s the case, he’s more of a strong safety type, which means he’s not a good fit for Miami, which has an enormous need at free safety. He fell because some scouts considered him a sloppy tackler who doesn’t always play the defense to his assignment, so he is a huge question mark in transitioning to play center field for the ‘Fins. Some local beat writers are penciling Jones in as a possible starter right off the bat (get it, center field?) for Miami, but I think they are grossly overestimating this kid’s ability to learn a new system, change his mentality on the field and adjust to new positional responsibilities.
All that being said, grabbing an SEC safety in the fifth round certainly can’t be a bad thing for a team that has struggled at the position for seemingly a generation. Keeping all the above in mind, Jones could be the one who makes the difference between a bad, average, good or great draft.

Seventh Round, #212 Overall: LB Chris McCoy, Middle Tennessee State
After losing a sixth-rounder in the trade-up to get Jones, Miami lands a small-school conversion prospect here. At 6-4, 244, McCoy was a defensive end on the college level, but will have to make the switch to outside linebacker in the Dolphins’ 3-4 scheme in order to make a dent in the pro ranks in the aqua and orange. The ‘Fins landed this pick from the Chiefs last year, so if you’re going to take a chance on a positional changer, this is a great spot to do so.

Seventh Round, #252 Overall: LB Austin Spitler, Ohio StateYou guessed it: another freaking linebacker. With a compensatory pick, the Dolphins secured a guy who has been tabbed a “workout warrior”—which can be code for a good athlete who underachieved in college. The good news is that Spitler could be a late bloomer who can find a home on special teams and develop into something down the road, because he has good measurables at 6-3, 234, to go along with leadership qualities. At this stage of the draft, there’s really very little you can argue with, and even for a guy who hates the Buckeyes, I think this is a kid that could actually find a role in Miami.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

"Chad Henne Is A Bitch"



For the record, I think Chad Henne is going to be a pretty good quarterback for the ‘Fins. And I hate Ohio State with a passion.

But I also hate Michigan. And this shite is just funny.