Limerick Friday #641: Off On A Midwest Football Weekend -- Day 2,030

Headed off to Indy

And climes more windy

To see the Colts game

And if State beats Notre Dame

I'll do a hotel-pool Triple Lindy

The Mets just choked

The 'Fins getting smoked

State missed a golden chance

Now all I've got are rants

Because every joke I've already joked

The state of the Scooters

Has me doing shooters

Rebuilding the roster

Tossing every impostor

'Til I wake up .500 in a Hooters

"Follow the herd" bitches

Got me rolling in stitches

Pissing their pants perceptibly

In fear of Belicheat pre-emptively

Now UNC is steering straight into ditches

Of sanity they're bereft

Of morality, there's no heft

A government with no frontal lobe

Got me looking at the globe

Wondering if there's anywhere free left

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #638: Belicheat Embarrasses Every Chapel Shill -- Day 1,995

The bandwagon couldn't wait to applaud

And pretended to be suitably awed

The local media cupped his balls

Ignoring his cheating and falls

'Til they recognized a fellow fraud

Bobby Kennedy was a hero of mine

The most promising of his line

Now his son is killing kids

And selling out to the highest bids

Of American destruction, just the latest sign

Par for the course at UNC

Hoping to skip steps 1, 2, and 3

Tried to buy a culture and team

They've always been more "to seem"

Rather than "to be"

In football's return we bask

But so many questions to ask

Can the Wolfpack compete?

Can the Scooters repeat?

And how many issues can the 'Fins mask?

A heartless, creepy old man

Lies and deceives each spineless fan

On the young he preys

While every sycophant obeys

Trump or Belicheat -- decide if you can

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #628: Yellowjackets, Dolphins, And Overblown Lambs, Oh My-- Day 1,760

"Yellowjackets" had me hooked quick

A good balance of relatable and sick

Clever timeline meld

Good writing to see how they jelled

This is a show that could stick

Another lost season

Mediocrity beyond reason

But Grier remains

And Ross stains

Committing franchise treason

Season 2 came off a little poor

But "Yellowjackets" will never bore

A little neurotic

And a lot chaotic

This was not the season I hoped for

Tyreek can't play in the cold

Half the passes, he can't hold

"Cheetah," they call his loser ass

Not for his speed on the grass

But for how quick he does fold

Delusions on repeat

UNC shotguns its feet

To seem, rather than to be

Is the Tar Hole mentality

A fitting spot for Belicheat

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #606: The Patsies Make The Hard Call On Mumbling Bumbler -- Day 1,397

Couldn't handle the heat

Made a hasty retreat

Propped up by Brady

And tactics shady

This is the legacy of Belicheat

The Chiefs loom

An impending season doom

'Fins Nation is hysterical

Need another Miami miracle

Of hope there is a little room

Parried every UNC attack

Intensity, they didn't lack

But it's all moot

If you can't shoot

This is the hard lesson for the Pack

An inveterate liar

Will finally retire

As a college coach, legit

As a human, pure shit

Nick Saban, the worst Dolphins hire

The penalties and drops mount

With injuries beyond count

A reckoning for Tua

He's gotta come through-a

No matter the snowfall amount

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #599: Somebody Take The Keys From The Bears' GM -- Day 1,327

 

You gotta be jokin'

What is Ryan Poles smokin'?

A high second for Montez Sweat?

Who's a free agency threat?

My dude, your trade chart is broken

Idiocy to burn

Ineptitude at every turn

Promote our worst

That's why we're cursed

When will we ever learn?

A bully and a boor

Whose presence wore

The personality of a roach

A throwback coach

Bob Knight was capable of more

Unfairness without sound

Injustices abound

Declining at pace

A demoralizing place

Time to look around

A little Belicheat bitch

Ran another team into the ditch

Josh McDaniel is what he is

Hiring him was always bad biz

Only the Raiders didn't know the sitch

Last time ...

Day 1,326, Quasi-Quarantine: Dolphins-Patriots Game 8 Review

Welp, the 'Fins lost the turnover battle yet again, 2-1. But they dominated time of possession (35:55 to 24:05), ran 22 more plays than New England, and committed just three penalties. Jalen Ramsey returned more than a month earlier than anticipated and contributed an interception, Tyreek Hill eclipsed 1,000 yards receiving for the season after just eight games, and Tua Tagovailoa remained perfect against Bill Belichick, pushing his mark to a sterling 6-0. 

And notably, my group chat was largely quiet despite occasional whining, making it bizarre for a contributor who was unable to watch the game in real time to find out much later that Miami won by two touchdowns.

On to the eat-it-Belicheat recap ...

Offense

• Running a whopping 73 plays, the Dolphins racked up 390 total yards, but struggled at times in certain phases against a complex New England defense. Miami went five of 14 on third downs, though they did convert all three fourth-down attempts. The 'Fins averaged just 3.0 yards per carry and scored touchdowns on just two of four red-zone trips. Overall, it was a strong effort considering the sheer number of injuries the team is dealing with.
• Tua handled the blitz extremely well, hitting 30 of 45 passes for 324 yards and three touchdowns. He was sacked twice, threw an interception, and lost a fumble, while running six times for just eight yards. He was assigned a 72.4 grade by Pro Football Focus, below par in the context of the season he is having.
• Raheem Mostert led the way at running back, carrying the ball 13 times for 46 yards and a touchdown but failing to get a target in the passing game among his 43 snaps. Salvon Ahmed was stymied on five of his touches, losing a combined three yards, but did have a 20-yard reception on his sixth touch in 19 snaps. Jeff Wilson also got 19 snaps, posting 37 yards on his seven touches. Fullback Alec Ingold had a five-yard catch among two targets in 25 snaps. With defenses adjusting and the offensive front decimated by injury, the 'Fins have struggled for two straight games on the ground.
• At receiver, Hill was dominant again despite being limited in practice due to injury for most of the week. In 58 snaps, he reeled in eight of 13 targets for 112 yards and a score, earning a 79.7 PFF grade. Jaylen Waddle played a larger role, with a dozen targets in 58 snaps, catching seven for 121 yards and a touchdown that iced the game. Braxton Barrios caught two of three targets for eight yards in 41 plays, while Cedrick Wilson scored a touchdown on his lone catch -- a one-yarder -- in 23 snaps. Chase Claypool was active as the fifth receiver and got 11 snaps, snaring a 15-yard catch on two targets for his first reception as a Dolphin. Over the last couple of weeks, a handful of drops from Hill and Waddle have blemished an otherwise phenomenal season for this group thus far.
• Durham Smythe hauled in all three of his targets for 28 yards in his 51 snaps at tight end, though he was whistled for a hold. Julian Hill continued to see significant action, contributing a four-yard catch on two targets in 34 snaps. Tyler Kroft also made an appearance for the first time in a while, earning three snaps as the third tight end over Tanner Conner.
• Up front, the 'Fins were once again missing left tackle Terron Armstead and center Connor Williams, and standout right guard Robert Hunt had to depart after just 27 snaps. That meant reserve Lester Cotton had to play both guard spots among his 71 snaps, with Robert Jones -- a better run blocker -- coming in for 56 snaps at left guard that included holding and false start penalties. Liam Eichenberg once again handled center duties, with he and right tackle Austin Jackson playing 77 snaps. Jackson did not allow a sack or a pressure in his 48 pass-blocking snaps, continuing his quietly effective campaign. Deep reserve Kion Smith even had to come in for five snaps for a depleted Miami offensive line.

Defense

• Another sound performance limited the Patsies to just 13 first downs and stopped eight of nine third-down conversion attempts. New England was held to just 218 total yards and 77 rushing yards, with one touchdown on two red-zone visits. Perhaps most encouragingly, Miami is getting closer to the full complement of personnel it envisioned having on hand this season, giving coordinator Vic Fangio even more options with which to create chaos.
• At defensive end, Christian Wilkins earned a 74.9 PFF grade for his 46 snaps, collecting five tackles, a sack, a stop for loss, and a quarterback hit. Zach Sieler notched three tackles and two quarterback hits in his 45 snaps, but Emmanuel Ogbah was shut out again in just six snaps.
• With Miami going to more exotic formations, Raekwon Davis got just 20 snaps, did not record a statistic, and was the only nose tackle to see action.
• The outside linebacker duo of Bradley Chubb (43 snaps) and Jaelen Phillips (45 snaps) continued to wreak havoc. Chubb registered three tackles, a sack, a stop for loss, and two quarterback hits on his way to a 76.3 PFF grade, while Phillips amassed eight tackles, seven solos, a sack, a stop for loss, and a quarterback hit -- good for an 85.5 grade from PFF. Andrew Van Ginkel was limited to 14 snaps, picking up an assisted tackle and a quarterback hit.
• At inside linebacker, David Long's four tackles and three solos in 47 snaps was good for a stellar 88.4 PFF grade. Jerome Baker was good for five tackles and three solos in 53 snaps, while Duke Riley got a lone snap in reserve.
• In his first game as a Dolphin, Jalen Ramsey put together a memorable performance. He had an assisted tackle, a pass breakup, an interception with a 49-yard return in his 49 snaps, while also forcing a fumble that was nullified by penalty and nearly making another pick. Ramsey earned a 90.0 PFF grade and sparked a secondary that was once again missing Xavien Howard. Kader Kohou had four solos, a stop for loss, and a pass breakup in 53 snaps, while Eli Apple was solid with three solos in 47 snaps. In reserve, Justin Bethel (solo tackle) and Nik Needham (in his first game of the season coming off injury) got four snaps apiece. The defensive back rotation is going to be fascinating to watch evolve when Howard is back in action.
• With Jevon Holland out due to concussion, Brandon Jones saw his most extensive action of the season, tallying seven tackles and a pass breakup in 53 snaps. DeShon Elliott contributed six tackles, a pass breakup, and a couple of resounding hits in the same number of snaps.

Special teams

• Jason Sanders was perfect again in limited opportunities, connecting on a field goal and all four extra-point tries.
• Jake Bailey punted three times for a 48.7-yard average, placing two inside the 20-yard line, allowing one to result in a touchback, and uncorking a 63-yarder.
• Berrios posted a 25-yard kickoff return and 17 more yards on two punt returns.
• Among offensive players, Ahmed and Claypool led the way with 12 snaps apiece on special teams, with Claypool contributing an assisted tackle. Bethel, Riley, Elijah Campbell, and Cameron Goode got 20 snaps each in the third phase to pace defensive players.

Momentum plays

• The 'Fins wasted no time in setting the defensive tone, forcing a three-and-out on the strength of a strong Kohou tackle and a potential late hit on Jones (it would have been called in Foxboro) going unwhistled. Miami couldn't get much going either, getting a fourth-down conversion on a strong Waddle catch but nothing more.
• An initial first down by the Patriots did not lead to a longer drive, with Jones and Baker stopping a 3rd & 4 pass after Chubb slowed the play down initially. The Dolphins also began its next series with a first down on a 15-yard strike to Smythe that saw him bend awkwardly. However, after Hunt allowed a sack, Tua made an awful decision on a weak throw in the direction of Hill that was easily intercepted by Kyle Duggar, who viciously stiff-armed Berrios as part of a 15-yard return.
• Taking over at Miami's 30-yard line, the visitors struck three plays later, with Kendrick Bourne easily gaining separation from Bethel on a crossing pattern and coasting 24 yards for the touchdown.
• As is their custom, the Dolphins did not waste much time in responding. Three straight Tua completions netted 18 yards, then two Wilson carries earned 15 more. A deep shot to Hill covered 42 yards for an easy score, tying the game at seven.
• At the start of the second quarter, Ramsey put a big hit on Ezekiel Elliott, who coughed the ball up, but it bounced out of bounds just beyond the reach of Long. Miami accepted a holding penalty on the play, and a strong stunt by Chubb and Sieler on 3rd & 16 resulted in a Mac Jones incompletion under duress.
• Taking advantage of good field position on its own 47-yard line, Miami used 14 plays to cover 53 yards. Tua scrambled for eight yards on a 4th & 4 play for a first down, then found Hill for 14 more. A 13-yard screen pass to Waddle turned a 3rd & 14 into a 4th & 1, and a screen to the other side to Hill got two yards when he slipped an initial tackle attempt. Tua got away with a near interception in the red zone, then Miami got a pass interference call on 3rd & goal to sustain the drive. After a poor pass on a fade to Hill, Tua drilled a slant dart to Cedrick Wilson to cap the drive and push the 'Fins ahead, 14-7.
• Hard running by Rhamondre Stevenson marked the ensuing Patsies drive, with a 14-yard pass to former Dolphin DeVante Parker moving New England inside Miami's 25-yard line. On the next play, Ramsey peeled off his coverage to snare a sideline pass intended for Bourne, then raced half the field before going out of bounds despite picking up a strong block by Kohou on Jones.
• Starting at New England's 40-yard line, Tua nearly threw another interception before finding Waddle for 11 on a slant. A Smythe hold led to a 2nd & 14, but Waddle made a tremendous 17-yard catch while slipping. The Patriots held, however, forcing a 30-yard Sanders field goal to make the score 17-7 headed into the halftime break.
• The 'Fins got the ball to begin the second half, but got off to a disastrous start on the first play when Tua's high handoff to Mostert resulted in a fumble that was recovered by New England at Miami's 19-yard line. The Dolphins "D" responded to the challenge, however, with Wilkins and Sieler combining for a third-down sack to force a short field goal that cut the home team's advantage to 17-10.
• Tua wasted little time in atoning, hitting Hill with a 25-yard strike to start the next possession in style. Waddle dropped a second-down pass, but made up for it on the next play by rising high to reel in a 23-yarder on 3rd & 9. Claypool took a short pass and bowled over a couple of would-be tacklers on his way to a 15-yard gain for his first grab as a 'Fin. Smythe caught a short pass and seemed to be headed into the end zone, but took a big hit to drop him at the goal line. Mostert walked in for a touchdown on the next play to extend the lead to 24-10.
• New England picked up 24 yards on the first play of its next drive when Ramsey nearly got another interception but ran into Baker in coverage. A 2nd & 11 pass intended for former Dolphin DeVante Parker was incomplete thanks to a wicked hit by Elliott, and third-down pressure by Chubb led to an incomplete pass with good coverage by Apple. A strong Patriots punt pinned Miami at its own 4-yard line.
• A 3rd & 1 screen to Hill got seven yards and some breathing room for the 'Fins, but an iffy hold on Jones stopped the momentum. On 3rd & 13, Ahmed broke a couple of tackles on a throwback screen to gain 20 yards and a first down. Miami turned a 1st & 5 into a punt when a hit to Tua's helmet went uncalled and he nearly threw an interception instead. Importantly, however, the Dolphins flipped the field with the nine-yard, 37-yard drive to set up a good Bailey punt that was downed at the 15-yard line.
• A Chubb sack and a strong Apple tackle on a third-down catch forced a three-and-out, but Miami responded with one of its own when back-to-back drops by Hill and Waddle were followed by an awkward Tua run that saw him take an unnecessary hit. An ugly Bailey punt got a tremendous bounce and ended up as a 63-yarder, putting the Patsies inside their own 20-yard line again.
• New England put together an impressive 13-play, 81-yard drive, propelled by a 17-yard run by Elliott and a 16-yard catch by Hunter Henry. A series of short passes kept the possession alive, but a 3rd & goal throw was nearly intercepted by Kohou. The Patriots went for it on 4th & goal, and miscommunication between Jones and Apple led to an easy touchdown for JuJu Smith-Schuster to the make the score 24-17.
• Showing no signs of panic, Miami fashioned a 10-play, 75-yard response, with a 10-yard Mostert run that featured a strong stiff arm setting the tone. Hill made a great catch on a contested 3rd & 9 throw against a Patriots blitz, and after another first down on a Smythe grab, the 'Fins went play-action on a 3rd & 1, with the Patsies electing to double team Hill and forgetting about Waddle, who was left wide open in the  middle of the field for a walk-in 31-yard touchdown to put the contest away at 31-17.
• On the following New England possession, Jones nearly secured an interception, but the play was ruled incomplete. A resounding Phillips sack on 3rd & 5 set up a 4th & 14 Hail Mary that saw Jones nearly get another pick before he was drilled by Smith-Schuster and hit his head hard on the turf. Smith-Schuster was called for an unsportsmanlike conduct on the play, briefly flaring some tempers, but he sought out Jones to apologize.
• Three straight Tua kneels punctuated the 'Fins sweep of New England.

2023 Schedule

Miami 36, Los Angeles 34 (1-0)

Miami 24, New England 17 (2-0)

Miami 70, Denver 20 (3-0)

Buffalo 48, Miami 20 (3-1)

Miami 31, New York Giants 16 (4-1)

Miami 42, Carolina 21 (5-1)

Philadelphia 31, Miami 17 (5-2)

Miami 31, New England 17 (6-2)

Day 1,286, Quasi-Quarantine: Dolphins-Patriots Game 2 Review

 

With three of their 10 top (or so) players missing in left tackle Terron Armstead, cornerback Jalen Ramsey, and outside linebacker Jaelen Phillips, the 'Fins were still able to go into Foxboro, fade a strong defensive gameplan by New England, six penalties, some baffling calls by the officials, and some extremely questionable late-game decisions by coach Mike McDaniel to earn a vital division road victory. 

On to the F the cheaters recap ...

Offense

• With the Patsies focused on limiting Tyreek Hill and taking away the opportunity for downfield shots, Miami responded with a shorter passing game and a more dedicated ground attack. The 'Fins averaged 6.4 yards per play, racking up 389 total yards and 22 first downs and converting two of three red-zone visits into touchdowns. Despite more bad snaps, the Dolphins committed only a single turnover, but did misfire on 6 of 10 third-down attempts and did not go for any fourth downs. Averaging 4.8 yards per rush and collecting 145 rushing yards ended up being the difference for the Miami "O."
• Tua Tagovailoa connected on 21 of 30 passes for 249 yards and a score, getting the ball out quickly and playing more of a point-guard role this time around. He rushed four times for three yards, was sacked once, fumbled twice, and threw an interception. 
• At running back, Raheem Mostert put together one of his finest games as a Dolphin, beasting his way to 121 yards and two touchdowns on 18 carries, adding a six-yard catch in his 46 snaps. Salvon Ahmed backed him up again, carrying three times for 13 yards and grabbing three passes for 28 yards in his 12 snaps before being injured. De'Von Achane saw the first action of his career, recording a five-yard run and a four-yard catch in his six snaps. Alec Ingold did not get a touch but was noticeable in the blocking game in his 38 snaps at fullback. Ahmed's injury will be one to monitor with Jeff Wilson still on IR as well.
• Reflecting New England's defensive focus, Hill was limited to five grabs on nine targets, good for 40 yards and a score in his 54 snaps. Jaylen Waddle was targeted six times in his 46 snaps, reeling in four receptions for 86 yards and drawing a clear pass interference that was mystifyingly uncalled. Braxton Berrios notched two catches on three targets for 28 yards in 21 snaps, while River Cracraft snared both targets for 34 yards in his 18 snaps. Erik Ezukanma once again filled a hybrid role, rushing three times for five yards without pulling in his lone target in the passing game. Cedrick Wilson was inactive in this one.
• At tight end, it was once again the Durham Smythe show, with the veteran hauling in three grabs for 23 yards in his 61 snaps. Tyler Kroft was untargeted in his three snaps in reserve.
• The offensive line once again played at an above-average level. The most pressing -- and persistent problem -- remains center Connor Williams's  snapping struggles, with two more botched exchanges with Tua. Left guard Isaiah Wynn was whistled for an illegal block above the waist and right tackle Austin Jackson was called for holding, but through two games, Tua has been sacked only once and hit four times. Right guard Robert Hunt has been the standout, with reserve left tackle Kendall Lamm performing admirably in Armstead's absence, though Jackson's play bears monitoring over the next several weeks. The front five played all 63 snaps, and to this stage, represents the most promising improvement among Miami's positional units.

Defense

• Despite allowing 23 first downs -- most coming late in the contest -- the 'Fins held the Patsies to 288 yards and 4.1 yards per play. New England converted 7 of 15 third-down attempts and one of two fourth-down tries, while turning both red-zone trips into touchdowns. However, Miami forced two turnovers and four sacks, holding the home team in check for the majority of the contest.
• Along the defensive line, Christian Wilkins picked up an 81.3 grade from Pro Football Focus (PFF), notching seven tackles, five solos, one sack (that he likely didn't deserve credit for), a stop for loss, and a quarterback hit in his 52 snaps. Zach Sieler delivered four tackles and a solo stop in his 52 snaps, with Da'Shawn Hand (10 snaps) and Chase Winovich (two snaps) failing to record stats in reserve duty.
• In the middle, Raekwon Davis had his best game in quite a while, piling up five tackles, three solos, and a stop for a loss in his 37 snaps. Brandon Pili got a pair of snaps in reserve.
• Bradley Chubb was a warrior at outside linebacker, racking up seven tackles, five solos, a sack (a half-sack was taken away from him after the game), two stops for losses, two quarterback hits, six pressures, and a forced fumble. He was whistled for a neutral-zone infraction, but his overall play in 67 snaps earned him a 90.8 PFF grade in a game where the Dolphins needed him badly. Playing on the outside after playing inside most of the season opener, Andrew Van Ginkel posted six tackles, a sack, a stop for a loss, a pass breakup, and three quarterback hits on his way to a 90.4 PFF grade in 65 snaps. Emmanuel Ogbah was shut out in his 16 snaps in his second straight subpar performance. 
• At inside linebacker, David Long had a bounce-back game, earning a 79.5 PFF grade after recording eight tackles, five solos, a sack, a stop for a loss, and two quarterback hits in 62 snaps. Jerome Baker collected six tackles and three solo stops in 74 snaps, with Duke Riley getting a lone snap in reserve.
• Miami got winning play at cornerback, with Xavien Howard experiencing a bit of a bounce-back game himself. In 74 snaps, he tallied six solo stops, a pass breakup, a key interception, and a holding penalty. In the same number of snaps, Kader Kohou earned an 80.4 PFF grade on the strength of four tackles, three solos, and a stop for loss. After "X" was targeted by officials a week ago, it was Eli Apple's turn in the second week of the campaign. In his 68 snaps, Apple recorded six tackles, five solo stops, and two pass breakups, but he was called for three penalties (two pass interference and a hold that was declined) and gave up seven receptions on 10 balls thrown his way. In reserve, Justin Bethel had a pair of solo stops in 10 snaps.
• At safety, Jevon Holland totaled 11 tackles, six solos, a stop for a loss, and one pass breakup in 74 snaps. In the same number of plays, DeShon Elliott had four tackles, three solo stops, and a pass breakup. Somewhat surprisingly, Brandon Jones did not get any snaps from scrimmage despite earning 15 special-teams plays.

Special teams

• In a performance that may have been more indicative of the shakiness of Danny Crossman's role as special teams coordinator, Jason Sanders missed two of three field-goal attempts, with one being blocked and a 55-yarder (that never should have even been considered) influenced by the specter of a block attempt. Sanders did hit all three extra points, but Miami was dramatically outschemed on both of his misfires. After a troubling special-teams performance a year ago, Crossman's longevity in the position has to be in question at this point.
• Jake Bailey punted three times for a 48-yard average.
• Berrios ran back two punts for 27 yards, with a long of 18. Neither team recorded a kickoff return.
• Bethel and Riley led defensive players with 19 special-teams snaps each, with rookie corner Cam Smith posting 18 reps with Kelvin Joseph being inactive in this one. Among offensive players, Smythe had a solo stop while leading the way with 13 third-phase snaps.

2023 Schedule

Miami 36, Los Angeles 34 (1-0)

Miami 24, New England 17 (2-0)

Day 675, Quasi-Quarantine: Dolphins-Patsies Game 17 Review

 

In what would turn out to be a meaningless victory, Miami won the turnover battle, 3-0, to sweep the Patriots for the first time since 2000. New England was whistled for an uncharacteristic eight penalties and the Dolphins outphysicaled the Cheatriots for most of the game, giving Brian Flores a strong sendoff in his final game as coach of the 'Fins.

On to the bittersweet recap ...

Offense

• The Dolphins pounded the rock, rushing a staggering 43 times for 195 yards, averaging a more-than-respectable 4.5 yards per carry. While Miami was outgained by 81 yards, they didn't commit a turnover, converted two of three red zone opportunities into touchdowns, and controlled the clock (33:36 to 26:24).
• Tua was not asked to do much -- and that's exactly what he provided. He connected on 15 of 22 passes for just 109 yards, with a touchdown. He was sacked once, but also contributed 38 rushing yards on five carries, showing impressive mobility in key moments.
• In the backfield, Duke Johnson continued his late-season surge, pounding out 117 yards and a score on 25 carries. He had a long burst of 27 yards and added one catch for five yards, giving credence to the idea that he could -- and should -- be brought back next year. Phillip Lindsay ran hard, with 40 yards on 11 carries, while Myles Gaskin lost a yard on his lone carry, though he did grab three passes for 11 yards in seven snaps.
• Jaylen Waddle was quiet in this one, pulling in five passes for just 27 yards, though he did have a touchdown catch. DeVante Parker was targeted just four times, catching two for 12 yards, while Mack Hollins was targeted once without a reception in seven snaps. Albert Wilson (25 snaps) and Isaiah Ford (nine snaps) did not factor. Game conditions certainly dictated the strategy, but having only a dozen targets to wideouts feels indicative of the level of trust that the Dolphins have in Tua at this stage of his career.
• At tight end, Durham Smythe led the team in receiving yards with 32 (on two grabs), while Mike Gesicki added two receptions for 22 yards. Adam Shaheen was not targeted on 33 snaps, but he and Smythe both had key blocks to help get the running game on track.
• The big news up front is that the 'Fins finally benched right tackle Jesse Davis, paving the way for undrafted rookie free agent Robert Jones to start. Miami responded by allowing just 10 pressures (season average is 15 pressures allowed per game) and establishing a strong rushing attack. Left guard Austin Jackson had a false start and struggled on occasion, but overall, this was a welcome departure from the season-long issues -- when combining Pro Football Focus (PFF) grades and ESPN pass-block win rates, the Dolphins finished dead last in the league in pass protection this year.

Defense

• The 'Fins allowed 379 total yards and 6.4 yards per play, with the Pats turning four red zone visits into three touchdowns. However, Miami forced three turnovers and turned two of those into defensive touchdowns to carry the day.
• On the edge, Andrew Van Ginkel was dynamic, earning a 74.6 PFF grade by registering seven tackles, a sack, two stops for losses, and a quarterback hit. Emmanuel Ogbah had a solo tackle and two batted passes on the other side, while Jaelan Phillips notched two tackles and recovered a fumble 35 snaps, an uptick in action for him.
• The defensive line largely shut down a powerful rushing attack, pressured the quarterback eight times, and collected two sacks, and the tackles were a huge part of that performance. Zach Sieler was borderline dominant on the interior, posting an 89.6 PFF grade after tallying three pressures, three tackles, and a stop for a loss. Finish off a strong third season, Christian Wilkins tallied seven tackles, a sack, a batted pass, and a quarterback hit. Raekwon Davis had a solo tackle in 34 snaps, while Adam Butler did not record a stat in 23 snaps.
• The linebackers were targeted a lot in pass coverage, with the Patriots getting 11 receptions, 124 yards, and a touchdown against the group. Jerome Baker had six tackles and a pass breakup, Elandon Roberts added five stops, and Duke Riley had four tackles in just 18 snaps to earn an 82.5 PFF grade. Brennan Scarlett had two tackles in reserve, while Sam Eguavoen finished the game off in style with a fumble recovery touchdown.
• With three solo stops, a pass breakup, and a pick-six, Xavien Howard garnered a 75.9 PFF grade. On the other side, Byron Jones had three tackles despite not being targeted all game long, though he was called for pass interference on what was just a really bad call. Nickel Nik Neeham had two solo tackles in 38 snaps, while Eric Rowe had a solo stop and was whistled for a pass interference in his 16 snaps.
• Brandon Jones collected eight tackles and a quarterback hit, while Jevon Holland had five stops on his way to a 79.1 PFF grade. Miami's secondary allowed just 136 yards and four first downs on eight catches, and the two young safeties played a large role in that performance.

Special teams

• Jason Sanders connected on both field goal attempts -- including a 49-yarder -- and all three of his extra points to end a rocky campaign on a high note.
• Michael Palardy averaged 52.3 yards on his four punts, dropping two inside the 20-yard line, booming a 63-yarder, and even leaning into a roughness penalty on his failed fake punt run to earn a crucial first down.
• In the return game, Lindsay brought back two kickoffs for 38 yards and Miami had zero yards in punt returns. Cethan Carter and Blake Ferguson had solo tackles on kick coverage.

Momentum plays

• A Tua sneak to convert a long 3rd & 1 got Miami going to open the game, then he hit Gaskin to pay off a 3rd & 3 play. On third and inches, Tua kept on an RPO and fired high to Waddle, who reeled it in and made a great toe tap on the end zone sideline for a 7-0 lead.
• Three plays later, Mac Jones fired a 3rd & 2 pass that was picked by "X," who put a move on Jones and launched himself into the end zone with a crotch-grabbing Marshawn Lynch tribute. The 37-yard score put the Dolphins up 14-0 less than nine minutes into the contest.
• Ogbah batted down a 3rd & 6 pass on New England's next drive, and Miami got rolling again with a 17-yard RPO hit to Smythe. On 3rd & 3, Tua airmailed one to Parker, but the Patsies dropped the gift interception. On the next play, Palardy faked it, coming up well short but drawing an unnecessary roughness flag on an awkward slide as the first quarter ended. Six straight Miami runs pushed the ball deep into visiting territory, but a 3rd & 6 fade to Parker fell incomplete, leading to a 30-yard field goal and a 17-0 advantage.
• After a near interception by Van Ginkel on a batted pass, a rollout toss from Jones to Hunter Henry finally gave the Patriots a little life offensively. A 3rd & 1 run by former Dolphins Brandon Bolden turned into a 15-yard touchdown when Roberts, Holland, and Byron Jones all took bad angles, cutting the margin to 17-7.
• A dangerous out pattern to Parker and a sack by former 'Fin Kyle Van Noy led to a quick three-and-out by Miami, with a nifty return giving New England good field position on its own 42-yard line. However, a near-interception by Rowe and another batted pass by Ogbah led to a big momentum-saving stop for the Dolphins defense.
• A perfect Tua pass on a slant found Waddle in space on what could have been a big gainer, but the rookie dropped it, leading to another three-and-out that was partially offset by a clutch 63-yard punt by Palardy to flip the field.
• A Van Ginkel sack forced a 3rd & 18, but poor tackling by Phillips and others allowed a short catch and run that was spotted a yard short after a review. Jones was called for a false start on 4th & 1, leading to a punt that pinned Miami deep.
• Starting from their own 7-yard line, the Dolphins used three straight touches by Johnson to get out of trouble. Another near interception on a pass behind Gesicki was nullified by a roughing-the-passer penalty on Matthew Judon. A nine-yarder to G-Sick put Miami in field goal position, but on 3rd & 1, Tua tried to run, allowing the clock to run out since the 'Fins were out of timeouts. The poor decision by the second-year signal-caller sent the teams into halftime at 17-7.
• Coming out of halftime, the Patsies got a 3rd & 9 conversion when Rowe was flagged for pass interference. Some missed tackles allowed New England to head deep into Miami territory, but a Wilkins sack forced by Phillips ended the drive. Nick Folk converted the field goal to trim the 'Fins advantage to 17-10.
• Johnson's hard run that saw him refuse to go out of bounds jumpstarted the ensuing Miami possession, then Lindsay carried three straight times. Another potential Tua pick was dropped and offsides was called, allowing the 'Fins to keep the drive going. Hollins drew an interference call on a deep throw to the end zone, and Johnson paid it off on the next play, kicking it outside on a run for a score and a 24-10 lead on what was a massive response by the home team.
• A 39-yarder to former State wideout Jakobi Myers saw him convert a third down on Howard. An ill-timed Miami blitz allowed Bolden to get loose for a big first down, but Jones fumbled a handoff on the next play, with Phillips pouncing on the ball for a vital turnover.
• The 'Fins appeared to go three-and-out on the next possession, but an illegal formation on the Patriots extended the drive to end the third quarter. A huge 23-yard scramble by Tua on 3rd & 6 set up a 49-yard field goal by Sanders to push the advantage to 27-10.
• Another big gainer to Henry and a Bolden conversion on 3rd & 1 sent the Patsies storming back down the field, and Bolden scored easily on a 3rd & 15 crossing pattern that featured a blatant pick play by Henry. Multiple flags hit the turf as a result, but after a brief discussion, they were randomly picked up, gifting New England a touchdown to cut the lead to 27-17.
• A three-and-out was punctuated by a poor throw by Tua, well behind Waddle. Scarlett did lay a big hit on the ensuring Palardy punt.
• Meyers got loose again, this time beating Brandon Jones, then Byron Jones's iffy technique created a bad-call pass interference penalty. A Damien Harris plunge trimmed the margin to 27-24, thanks in large part to shady officiating down the stretch.
• On the following possession, Smythe got a first-down catch and wisely slid down inbounds. A 3rd & 8 scramble by Tua saw him make a nifty move to secure another huge first down. After bleeding more clock on three straight Johnson runs, Palardy pinned the Cheatriots on their own 2-yard line.
• With three seconds remaining, Meyers tried to jumpstart a lateral play, but Eguavoen jumped in front to pluck it and fall into the end zone for a satisfying score, making the final 33-24.

2021 Schedule

Miami 17, New England 16 (1-0)

Buffalo 35, Miami 0 (1-1)

Oakland 31, Miami 28 [OT] (1-2)

Indianapolis 27, Miami 17 (1-3)

Tampa Bay 45, Miami 17 (1-4)

Jacksonville 23, Miami 20 (1-5)

Atlanta 30, Miami 28 (1-6)

Buffalo 26, Miami 11 (1-7)

Miami 17, Houston 9 (2-7)

Miami 22, Baltimore 10 (3-7)

Miami 24, New York Jets 17 (4-7)

Miami 33, Carolina 10 (5-7)

Miami 20, New York Giants 9 (6-7)

Miami 31, New York Jets 24 (7-7)

Miami 20, New Orleans 3 (8-7)

Tennessee 34, Miami 3 (8-8)

Miami 33, New England 24 (9-8)

Day 551, Quasi-Quarantine: Dolphins-Patriots Game 1 Review

 

Against all odds, Miami pulled out a minor miracle in Foxboro, with Xavien Howard ripping out a football and pouncing on it in the final minutes to secure a one-point victory for the Dolphins (cue "X" asking for a raise tomorrow). As usual, New England was on the right end of a couple of massively blown calls, but with all of the other division opponents losing, Miami still sits alone atop the AFC East after Week 1.

All that said, obviously there is a lot to clean up for the 'Fins. Miami was outgained by 134 yards, had 8 fewer first downs, was whipped in time of possession (36:43-23:17), and had 18 fewer plays (70-52). The offense was very vanilla and the defense played more zone and had more three-man rushes than I'd prefer to see against a rookie quarterback. Tua Tagovailoa was careless with the ball on a couple of occasions and we allowed the Cheatriots to take away a key offensive weapon in tight end Mike Gesicki. The offensive line struggled to open any holes in the running game, and the Dolphins were only able to sack Mac Jones a single time.

But again: 1-0 with a golden division road win. Now that is the way to start the season.

Offense

• Miami managed just 259 total yards on offense and converted just four of 11 third-down opportunities. Considering the offensive performance, the Dolphins were fortunate to win.
• Tua had a couple of just unforgiveable throws, and nearly (literally) threw the game away. He hit on 16 of 27 passes, but for just 202 yards and a score, with an interception. He added a yard and a score on four carries, but has to tuck and run a bit more after eluding the rush. Backup Jacoby Brissett came in to convert a pair of crucial third-and-short situations, picking up four yards on two carries. Brissett was money in short-yardage packages in Indy, and it was good to see the Miami offensive coaching staff open to installing a similar package here.
• Myles Gaskin picked up where he left off late last year, with 76 total yards on 14 touches. He had a 15-yard burst among his nine carries for 49 yards, and Malcolm Brown was strong at the end when he was needed most, recording 16 yards and a couple of first downs on five carries, including a couple of Wildcat looks. Savon Ahmed was arguably underutilized, with five touches for 24 yards. Overall, the running backs struggled to find a rhythm, with just 74 rushing yards on the game.
• DeVante Parker was the story at wideout, with four receptions for 81 yards, including a customary incredible sideline grab and two strong catch-and-runs off quick slants among his seven targets. Rookie Jaylen Waddle had four grabs on six targets, good for 61 yards and his first career touchdowns, which was slightly offset by a key drop on a crucial third-down play. Albert Wilson was targeted twice -- including once where he was open for a score, but Tua threw a second too late -- but that was it for the receiver group.
• As quiet as the wideouts were, the tight ends were somehow even more silent. G-Sick was targeted twice, but held without a catch, while Durham Smythe had an early catch for nine yards and wasn't heard from again. COVID patient/denier Adam Shaheen was unavailable and would be on the waiver wire if I had my way.
• The offensive line surrendered a pair of sacks, but Tua was under pressure on a number of other plays. Miami averaged just 3.2 yards on the ground as well, but overall, a makeshift front held up relatively well. Rookie Liam Eichenberg was thrown into the fire at left tackle and survived despite a pair of holding flags. Jesse Davis had a false start and looked lost (along with center Michael Dieter) on a third-down screen play to Ahmed that looked promising initially. Guard Solomon Kindley was also whistled for an illegal man downfield call. 

Defense

• The epitome of a bend-but-don't-break approach, Miami surrendered 393 yards, allowed the Patriots to convert 11 of 16 third downs, and forced only two New England punts -- but gave up just 16 points, holding the home team to three field goals and an iffy touchdown. The Dolphins won the turnover battle, 2-1, and benefited from the Cheatriots shockingly getting whistled for an uncharacteristic eight penalties for 84 yards.
• Emmanuel Ogbah looked to be in midseason form, registering three solo tackles, notching one stop for a loss, knocking down a pass, and forcing a couple of holding calls. Andrew Van Ginkel was active as usual, contributing five tackles, one quarterback hit, and a couple of near misses on pressures. On the interior, Zach Seiler stood out again, with three solos, a tackle for loss, and a big fumble recovery. John Jenkins pitched in with four solo tackles, Adam Butler had two stops against his former team, and Christian Wilkins had three tackles, a quarterback hit, and good penetration on a couple of short-yardage plays. This unit severely missed Raekwon Davis after he went down with injury early in the contest.
• New England put a lot of pressure on the linebacking corps with a run-heavy attack that featured a slew of underneath passes. Jerome Baker had a dozen tackles to lead the way, but was victimized in pass coverage a couple of times. Sam Eguavoen had six tackles and three quarterback hits, and reserve Brandon Scarlett had another five stops, a quarterback hit, and a near-interception on a well-played batted pass. Elandon Roberts was a tone-setter against his former team, though his stats didn't reflect his presence: two solo tackles, a pass breakup, and a quarterback hit, to go with a ridiculous roughing-the-passer penalty on a play that saw him wreck a running back and make a diving sack on Jones.
• Miami's secondary was the difference in this one, with the group contributing all three forced fumbles. Eric Rowe had nine tackles and a forced fumble, Nik Needham added six solo stops, and Jason McCourty stood out in his first game with five tackles and a massive breakup on a deep pass. Rookie Jevon Holland had two solo stops and a forced fumble, while Brandon Jones was quiet with a single stop, though he was noticeable on special teams. At corner, Byron Jones had five solo tackles, a pass breakup, and solid coverage all day long, but he was overshadowed as usual by Howard. Despite being avoided all day, the All-Pro had five tackles and made the biggest play of the game when he forced and recovered a fumble in the final moments to preserve the Dolphins victory.

Special Teams

• Jason Sanders was Jason Sanders, drilling an end-of-half 48-yarder, converting both extra points, and providing great distance on kickoffs. 
• New punter Michael Palardy averaged 45 yards on four punts, with a long of 52.
• The only return opportunity was positive and negative, with Jakeem Grant's only touch of the day seeing him make an ill-advised decision to field a punt inside the 5-yard line -- but then putting together an 18-yard return.

Momentum Plays

• A promising New England drive to start the game was stymied when Miami pressured Jones into an inexplicable throw behind him that resulted in a fumble and a loss of 13 yards.
• The Dolphins put together a stellar drive, starting with a 17-yard hookup between Tua and Waddle and featuring a 15-yard, third-down Gaskin run and a nifty catch and run by Ahmed. Tua punctuated the possession with a walk-in score off an RPO for the early 7-0 advantage.
• Rowe jarred the ball loose on the Pats' next possession, with Seiler jumping on it in New England territory. The 'Fins responded with a brutal three-and-out, however, giving away amazing field position.
• The Cheatriots put together a strong drive, but a huge holding call erased a bruising touchdown run by Damien Harris, and a Holland third-down forced fumble led to a field goal by New England to cut the lead to 7-3.
• Waddle dropped a wide-open pass that would have easily converted a third down on the ensuing possession for a second-straight three-and-out, but McCourty responded with a beautifully timed pass breakup on a deep ball to Jakobi Meyers to nullify a Patriots opportunity.
• The 'Fins responded with a third-straight three-and-out that featured Tua inexplicably and blindly throwing off his back foot into coverage, narrowly avoiding a pick.
• The Pats cobbled together another good drive, with a 26-yarder to Nelson Agholor setting the team up. Roberts took matters into his own hands for the Dolphins by steamrolling a blocking back and dropping Jones for a third-down sack, but a preposterous roughing-the-passer flag was thrown, and New England took advantage of a gift touchdown to go ahead 10-7.
• A 34-yard, back-shoulder strike to Waddle jumpstarted the ensuing Miami possession before the refs inexplicably whistled an offsides play dead, robbing the Dolphins a chance at a free play that saw multiple receivers streaking deep. Brissett converted a third down before Tua held the ball a beat too long on an end zone shot to an open Wilson and then took a third-down sack that forced a 48-yard Sanders field goal to tie the score going into halftime.
• The 'Fins came out blazing to start the second, with Tua hitting Parker for a 30-yarder that saw 'Vante make a stellar toe tap, Gaskin making putting together a pair of first-down plays, and Miami rolling out the Wildcat for 12 yards on runs by Ahmed and Brown. Tua then rolled out and hit Waddle, who made an incredible effort to break a tackle and reach across the goal line to put the Dolphins up 17-10.
• A suspicious spot helped New England convert a third-and-short, allowing the Patriots to sustain a drive that featured a nice mix of runs and passes. However, Ogbah had a key pressure to force a third-down incompletion, forcing the Cheatriots to settle for a field goal to make it 17-13.
• A pathetic Miami three-and-out set the table for another Pats drive that saw Hunter Henry make a couple of key grabs. Meyers could not reel in a low-but-catchable third-down toss, meaning that New England had to settle for yet another field goal and a 17-16 deficit.
• An illegal man downfield call nullified a third-down conversion on a broken play for Miami, and the next play featured Tua airmailing another horrific throw as he was being drilled, with the ball bouncing around before being intercepted by New England.
• After taking over at midfield, the Patriots went to work quickly, with Meyers converting a third down and Harris forcing missed tackles by Van Ginkel and Rowe to pay off another third down with a tough run. A pop pass to Jonnu Smith landed the Cheatriots on the Miami 11-yard line, but "X" came to the rescue with the play of the game, performing a flawless rip and recover on Harris to give the Dolphins possession.
• A nine-yard naked boot by Tua was erased by an Eichenberg hold, but Tua calmly hit Parker for 13 on a slant, allowing Brown to convert with a Wildcat run. Two more hard Brown runs resulted in a 3rd & 1, and Brissett salted the game away with another keeper conversion.
• Victory freaking formation, 17-16 'Fins.

2021 Schedule

Miami 17, New England 16 (1-0)

Day 548, Quasi-Quarantine: 'Fins Take Down The Cheatriots To Open 2021 Campaign

 

I'll have more insightful and well-researched commentary later in the week, but just wanted to get this out there.

Limerick Friday #496: The Walls Are Closing In -- Day 334

Retreats that are over the top
Zoom meetings make me wanna pop
Breakouts and revisions
Disagreements and divisions
Please just make it fucking stop

She's hotter than the sun
And soaring toward #1
Phoebe Bridgers on the SNL card
But she was trying too hard
Guitar-smashing more desperate than fun

A mean zone they play
And foul all day
A whiner for a coach
But considered above reproach
Even as a booger eater all the way

In the 'burbs, midlife crisis fears
In your garage, awkward beers
Get a flat-brimmed snapback
Go 40 in a cul de sac
Spout conspiracies, then cry quiet tears

Mahomes running for his life, gosh
While Brady won and got sloshed
Will he ever go away?
Is what Belicheat did say
While tearfully spooning Josh

Last time ...

Day 330, Quasi-Quarantine: Please Just Make Tom Brady Stop

 

10 Super Bowls, seven titles, five MVPs, one insufferable human being.

Can we vote him out?

Day 25, Quasi-Quarantine: The Dolphins Landed A Swiss Army Knife

Miami landed a coveted defensive piece early in free agency, adding the versatile Kyle Van Noy. He has long been a favorite of Miami coach Brian Flores, who has referenced him as a teaching tool for current 'Fins 'backers.

The pluses: Van Noy has collected 15.5 sacks in the past three seasons, but his true value comes in his versatility. In addition to having sneaky pass-rush skills, at 6-3, 250 pounds, he is also capable of holding the edge against the run, as well as dropping into coverage.

The negatives: At 29, Van Noy is a bit on the older side for the Dolphins current roster-building approach. He also signed a four-year, $51 million contract, with $30 million being fully guaranteed. That's a lot of cabbage for a player without a Pro Bowl reputation or a completely defined position, not to mention that the list of players who have turned into nondescript contributors after leaving New England's system is a lengthy one.

The bottom line: Van Noy is an instinctive athlete who can fill multiple gaping holes in the Miami defense. The Dolphins shift between 3-4 and 4-3 alignments, meaning he will have opportunities common to both defensive end and linebacker, making him a much-needed wildcard for Flores & Co. As a bonus, Van Noy also won a couple of Super Bowl rings for the Cheatriots, so in addition to damaging a hated division foe, he's got a championship pedigree and leadership skills.

Limerick Friday #441: A Super Bowl Full Of Dry Heaves, Plus The Pack Is A Sputtering Surprise

The Cheatriots dug out of a hole

For yet another Super Bowl

Five calls in a row

Gave them plenty of mo' 

One penalty on them, roll NFL roll

Hypocrisy a word too kind

For the racist leading the blind

Weep for the future

Fix gaping wounds with a suture

A government publicly losing its mind

Another long offseason looms

After another season of dooms

Can Gase look in the mirror

And see his problems clearer

He'd better or he's gone, I'd assume

Find cardio somewhere

Eat better if you dare

Chase happiness in your world

Let dreams be unfurled

Rededicate through commitment and care

No upperclassmen to be found

As State gets up off the ground

They play hard as hell

Can't quite make it to the bell

But with Keatts, they're upward bound

Last time ...

Limerick Friday #421: How Long ‘Til Mark Gott Fired?, Plus Disney And “The OA” Good Distractions

Players with no heart

Strategy not worth a fart

A staff with no vision

Makes it an easy decision

Fire Gottfried for a fresh start

The Cheatriots did it again

Fell straight into a win

Brady is no joke

But Matty Ice was an epic choke

Evil Empire has me drinking gin

Rides in every park

Fireworks in the dark

Beers around the world

After we looped and twirled

Disney always hits the mark

Once they were relevant in March

Now for wins they are parched

Apathy has set in

Time to press reset again

Wolfpack Nation now turns to Arch

On NetFlix, I found “The OA”

It’s kinda pretty OK

On focus, it’s a bit bleary

On plot, it’s a bit eerie

We all need easy entertainment today

Last time …