Showing posts with label NC State Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NC State Football. Show all posts

Friday, October 30, 2026

Limerick Friday #655: A Week Of Bittersweet And Overdue Goodbyes -- Day 2,409


All respect to the rest
But Chuck Amato was kinda the best
Dared to dream in red and white
And never gave up the fight
Rest in peace, "Chuck the Chest"

Against all odds and bets
First win of the year? Let's
This is the way
And at the end of the day
It's always "Fuck the Jets"

Through summer and fall
The writing was on the wall
But the roster was bereft
He had no "get out of jails" left
Chris Ballard's end wasn't a hard call

Mysteries to strike you dumb
Horror to turn you numb
Welcome to nowhere
You'll have a hell of a scare
When you finally watch "From"

Can't question what he gave
But in the end, he couldn't save
A program that fell off the track
Now it's time to rescue the Pack
But a hearty thanks to Salty Dave


Monday, October 26, 2026

Day 2,405, Quasi-Quarantine: Merciful, Arguably Belated End To Dave Doeren Era Gives Wolfpack Faithful Something To Dream On


After a number of years of salvaging his career with a flurry of late-season wins over mediocre opponents, a victory over UNC, and an appearance in a mid-tier bowl, Dave Doeren officially ran out of "get out of jail free" cards at NC State. Athletic director Boo Corrigan fired him less than 24 hours after the latest in a string of firing-worthy debacles, this time a rock-bottom loss at Stanford.

Despite playing one of the worst schedules imaginable, the Pack has been outscored by 34 points in the second halves of games this season as part of posting a 3-4 overall record and a 1-3 mark in league play. Everyone but Dave Doeren seemed to accept that everything was broken and nothing was salvageable.

So how will Doeren's tenure be remembered at NC State? He's a complicated figure among Wolfpack faithful: the all-time leader in victories as a coach, someone who understood and dominated the rivalry with the Tar Heels, a program manager who specialized in helping turn unheralded prospects into bonafide contributors.

But also a coach who tended to pass blame, struggled with clock and game management, made poor staff assignments, didn't allocate NIL resources efficiently, and overall was incapable of adjusting to the evolution of the sport.

There are a segment of Pack fans who'd like to tell you that Doeren did well with limited resources and represented the school well. And others who point out that he made $5.5 million per year and State actually ranks in the top half of the ACC in NIL budget, rendering an underdog narrative both inaccurate and misleading.

All that to say there were still a few folks on the fence about finally ending the 14-year Doeren era (fourth-longest tenure of any coach in college football). In our binary culture, some will try to convince you he's the worst coach of all time and others who will say he's the best NC State could do. The truth is in the middle: Doeren was a flawed coach who accomplished some good things in Raleigh but also never adapted to what his role demands.

There was a time you could take a two-star North Carolina kid, lock them into the strength & conditioning program under Dantonio Burnette, let them develop for three years, and have a two-year contributor and fringe NFL prospect at the end of the process. That's not how college football works anymore and Doeren simply wasn't capable of adjusting.

I'm sure Corrigan's conversation with Doeren on that fateful Saturday was difficult, and the stubbornness that made Dave a steady coach made it impossible for him to accept the inevitable, even after overseeing his team -- coming off a bye, mind you -- getting pantsed by the league's worst team running JV-level plays. Hence Doeren refusing to resign, forcing a school he said he loved to pay him $10 million it will struggle to afford, and making the AD shit-can him midseason.

While a national search for the next Wolfpack coach will certainly ensue, most expect State to make Philip Rivers say no before seriously considering other candidates. That being said, the vast majority of Pack fans would have preferred freshman quarterback Gunner Rivers be player-coach next year instead of seeing another season of Doeren on the sideline.

Dave Doeren finished his career with a 9-4 record against Cheater Hill, and that will buy him some warm regard with NC State fans as the years pass and the current frustration subsides. But it was beyond time for him to step down, and the way he chose to deny and handle that will be difficult to forget as well.

So yes, considering Doeren's legacy in the context of NC State football is complicated. What isn't is that the program instantly becomes less apathetic and more hopeful even in its current state -- without a permanent coach.

And that tells you everything you need to know about the end of this era.

Thursday, October 01, 2026

Day 2,380, Quasi-Quarantine: Week 3 Brings A New Kind Of Loss


Much like the NC State Wolfpack, the Scooters seem intent on finding new and creative ways to lose.

In this instance, we scored the fourth-most points in the league (128.1) ... only to lose to the week's top scorer (143.25).

In another in a litany of bad omens, the start-of-the week vibes were unchanged, as the Thursday night game saw Green Bay's Tucker Kraft drop three straight targets at one point, including literally on back-to-back plays. Compounding matters, my opponent had Packers QB Jordan Love, who was left in to accrue garbage points by throwing checkdowns despite being down three touchdowns and getting hit on every play.

I didn't have an opportunity to watch most of the games since I was actually at the Colts-Texans game in Indy, so that was frankly kind of a relief.

Just like last year, I'm firmly in the lead for points against thus far this season, which is kind of unreal. But I'll keep hammering the waiver wire and hoping for the vibes to normalize.

Go Scooters.

Friday, September 25, 2026

Limerick Friday #654: NC State Shit Jumps Its Own Shark -- Day 2,374


Doeren and Bailey
Ranging from mediocre to fail-y
They make $8 million a year
Which is a little too much I fear
For embarrassing State on the daily

The Mets fell apart
State is a collective fart
The Dolphins are a punchline
The Scooters stepped on a landmine
Why do I do this to my heart?

Uncanny and sublime
Full of an eerie grime
A lost treasure from M. Night
Is certain to give you a fright
Where has "Servant" been all this time?

Choke jobs and strife
Just twist in the knife
A perpetual national joke
But when your clear the smoke
What's left is just that Pack life

A trip out Midwest way
May be what we need today
To cheer on the Colts
And forget all the dolts
Until Tuesday at least, I'd say


Friday, September 04, 2026

Limerick Friday #653: Another Year, Another National-Stage Humiliation -- Day 2,354


When State rains, it's pourin'
The signs we all kept ignorin'
Creativity and preparation we lack
Such is the life of the Pack
Especially under Snorin' Doeren

TCU fell apart at the seams
Fulfilling the N&O's Belicheat dreams
Michael Lombardi's office cleared?
Steve Belicheat has disappeared?
Ignore all that while the media creams

A party of ignorant bitches
Full of ass-kissing pitches
To an 80-year-old senile predator
Who shits his pants on the regular
This is the cult of bigotry and temporary riches

$180 million in dead cap money
The outlook ain't sunny
The 'Fins can barely field a squad
And the talent? Good god
If it wasn't so sad, it would be kinda funny

A fraud at quarterback
Missing a rushing attack
Receivers just can't get open
And instead of tacklin', we're hopin'
Meet this year's Wolfpack


Friday, December 05, 2025

Limerick Friday #647: Make It Five In A Row Over UNC-Fraud -- Day 2,083


Bitching the Cheats
To the sound of hoarse bleats
Despite frigid cold
It'll never get old
Even when it repeats and repeats

Never a huge Nimmo fan
A brain-dead MAGA stan
Ship him anywhere
Let's get better there
And find good dudes where we can

Sports media's degradation
Both local and across the nation
Many factors at play
But you just have to say
Frauds and clowns on every station

Embarrassing the entire team
And coming apart at the seam
They make us all look bad
And don't care a tad
Them quitting would be a dream

Literally asleep on the job
Propped up by his pedo mob
A half-dead fatass felon
Without working cells in his melon
Wakes up only to lie, cheat, and rob


Friday, November 07, 2025

Limerick Friday #645: Another Epic Night At The Finley -- Day 2,057


Carter-Finley was lit
The crowd would barely sit
In the seasonal cold
The Wolfpack got bold
Memories created as the field we hit

Another ridiculous fantasy loss
My hands I did toss
So I'm changing my tack
And trading for a viable back
Swinging for the fences as Scooters boss

The reaper took the long way
But all evil does finally pay
Burn in hell, Dick
You criminal prick
It's a helluva start to today

So many screams and screeds
Who actually hears and heeds?
Thought Stephen A. Smith was ignored years ago
But ESPN has tripled down on his show
Who actually listens to these anal beads?

Giving up the most points
'Tis a kick in the beans and joints
Third in points scored
But I can't afford
The BS that fantasy football anoints


Friday, October 31, 2025

Limerick Friday #644: The Halloween When Grier And The 'Fins Finally Turned Into A Pumpkin -- Day 2,050


Ineptitude year after year
With no vision or plan clear
Had pictures of Ross with a goat
So no one had a firing vote
Yet the 'Fins finally shitcanned Grier

State can't get a loan
From the poorhouse zone
Not rich enough to compete
Or football expectations to meet
Might need to run the wishbone

A pilot's never been more scary
Some secrets Stephen King can't bury
A massive plot twist
That everyone missed
High hopes for "Welcome to Derry"

Signs of life
Amid struggle and strife
Bitched the ATL
Though we're still in cap hell
And McDaniel lives under a knife

Accountability a concept foreign
Prepare the boos to keep pourin'
Determined to make this end badly
As Pack fans watch on sadly
Mediocrity, thy name is Doeren


Friday, October 24, 2025

Limerick Friday #643: Teleport Us Out Of This Newscycle -- Day 2,043


Deep in fascism's throes
In the lowest of all the lows
But even for the world's worst grouse
Literally destroying the White House
Feels just way too on the nose

His ineptitude you have to applaud
As he drags down an entire squad
The broad side of a barn he couldn't hit
Just another MAGA piece of shit
Tua, the noodle-armed fraud

This is the bed we've made
Under Doeren for more than a decade
NC State Shit shall not pass
It's here to stay, alas
But at least we now have Will Wade

Four or five days a week
Youth soccer is not for the meek
But the smell of grass at dawn
I'll miss when it's gone
So excuse me if my eyes leak

Will we ever get to fall
It's still too warm, y'all
When will it be hoodie season
Will we ever have a reason
To wear cold-weather clothes at all?


Friday, October 17, 2025

Limerick Friday #642: A Hoosier Of A Whirlwind Time -- Day 2,036


Predictably, the Pack laid an egg
May be time to sweep Doeren's leg
The Colts salvaged the trip
Around Indiana did we rip
Now I need a couch and a keg

Above average, more or less
Though the luck's been a mess
Unlikely opponent games
From fucking no-names
That's fantasy football, I guess

What would make UNC more of a snake?
If they were on the Saudi take!
Who are they trying to fool?
A joke of a fucking school
And will always be a fraud and a fake

A key win to go to 4-2
A romp was good to see, true
Made some shrewd moves
Got the team in good grooves
Now the Scooters gotta see it through

Of regrets, I'd be remiss
And long would be that list
An ache bittersweet as persimmon
For all kinds of redheaded women
That I ain't supposed to kiss


Friday, October 10, 2025

Limerick Friday #641: Off On A Midwest Football Weekend -- Day 2,030


Headed off to Indy
And climes more windy
To see the Colts game
And if State beats Notre Dame
I'll do a hotel-pool Triple Lindy

The Mets just choked
The 'Fins getting smoked
State missed a golden chance
Now all I've got are rants
Because every joke I've already joked

The state of the Scooters
Has me doing shooters
Rebuilding the roster
Tossing every impostor
'Til I wake up .500 in a Hooters

"Follow the herd" bitches
Got me rolling in stitches
Pissing their pants perceptibly
In fear of Belicheat pre-emptively
Now UNC is steering straight into ditches

Of sanity they're bereft
Of morality, there's no heft
A government with no frontal lobe
Got me looking at the globe
Wondering if there's anywhere free left


Friday, September 05, 2025

Limerick Friday #638: Belicheat Embarrasses Every Chapel Shill -- Day 1,995


The bandwagon couldn't wait to applaud
And pretended to be suitably awed
The local media cupped his balls
Ignoring his cheating and falls
'Til they recognized a fellow fraud

Bobby Kennedy was a hero of mine
The most promising of his line
Now his son is killing kids
And selling out to the highest bids
Of American destruction, just the latest sign

Par for the course at UNC
Hoping to skip steps 1, 2, and 3
Tried to buy a culture and team
They've always been more "to seem"
Rather than "to be"

In football's return we bask
But so many questions to ask
Can the Wolfpack compete?
Can the Scooters repeat?
And how many issues can the 'Fins mask?

A heartless, creepy old man
Lies and deceives each spineless fan
On the young he preys
While every sycophant obeys
Trump or Belicheat -- decide if you can


Friday, August 29, 2025

Day 1,988, Quasi-Quarantine: The Pack Gets Off To A Positive Start Despite Uneven Effort

 

Staying almost impossibly on brand, the Wolfpack made things unnecessarily hard on themselves last night, outlasting East Carolina, 24-17, after opening up a 17-0 advantage.

Some thoughts:
  • It's always good to go 1-0.
  • In year 13, coach Dave Doeren is still abysmal at game management. Which -- judging by his title -- is a pretty big part of his job description.
  • State's front seven is going to be pretty difficult to deal with.
  • One game in, the Pack has serious concerns along the offensive line. Again.
  • NC State should never play East Carolina. There is literally nothing to gain from this for the Red and White. Make it stop.
Onward. Go Pack.



Friday, November 08, 2024

Limerick Friday #627: Weeks Of So, So Many Losses -- Day 1,697


Racism won
Plus love of the gun
We chose the criminal zoo
Time to look somewhere new
America had a solid run

Still not over the Mets
Almost as good as it gets
A season to remember
Even in November
Do it again next year, lets

So many now gones
Dikembe to James Earl Jones
Pete Rose bid adieu
Fernando Valenzuela, too
Childhood memories called home

6-3 is OK, I guess
Two L's by 10 points or less
The Scooters are back
For talent, we don't lack
Kinda missed fantasy, I confess

By the Final Four run, we're haunted
Not the football team we wanted
Early oil we did leak
But improving week by week
Let's finish strong and undaunted


Wednesday, October 02, 2024

Day 1,660, Quasi-Quarantine: October Has Arrove. Queens Is Already Salvaging It.

 

  • I just lost a fantasy football game after having a 98% chance to win on Monday night.
  • NC State is woefully underperforming after being saddled with huge expectations (stop me if you've heard this one before).
  • The Dolphins might be the worst team in the NFL.
But the Mets. 

My god, the Mets.

Monday, September 16, 2024

Day 1,644, Quasi-Quarantine: A Rough Weekend For ... Let's See ... Yup, All Of My Favorite Teams

 

The Mets lost MVP candidate Francisco Lindor to a back injury with two weeks remaining in the season and in the midst of a hotly contested playoff race. He is likely to miss a significant number of New York's remaining games.

The Dolphins lost quarterback Tua Tagovailoa to a terrifying concussion a couple of weeks after signing a $212 million contract. He should probably never play football again.

NC State lost sixth-year signal-caller Grayson McCall to an unspecified (likely also a concussion) injury headed into a trip to Clemson. His return is at least partially contingent on the performance of true freshman C.J. Bailey.

Three days.
Three teams. 
Three most important positions. 
Three stiff drinks needed.

Onward.

Friday, August 09, 2024

Limerick Friday #625: The OBX, Ever On The Horizon -- Day 1,606


No matter how long it took
Can't wait for that ocean overlook
The view is the best
From atop the crow's nest
With a cooler and a book

Frauds abound
Ineptitude astounds
Voluntary attrition
The desired condition
But man these fuckers just stick around

Football races near
As camp hits its gear
Hope mixed with dread
At the season ahead
But still just glad it's here

Barnacles cling
Try to horn in on a thing
Don't contribute shit
But want the credit
Easy to see this approach's king

Salt in the air
Wind in your hair
The waves roar
The beach does restore
As you let go of every care


Tuesday, June 11, 2024

Day 1,547, Quasi-Quarantine: There Goes That School Again

 

I don't know exactly what the hell's happening in Raleigh right now, but it's pretty goddam cool. After Alex Sosa and Eli Serrano hit 1,000 feet of homer yesterday -- drilling a couple of Georgia fratties along the way -- State is headed to Omaha for the College World Series. Needless to say, the Pack will be looking to avenge the brutal NCAA hosing that took place there three years ago.

All that to say, things are pretty, pretty, pretty fun for the Wolfpack at the minute.

Is it ... is it too early to say that NC State Shit™ is dead for now? Talk amongst yourselves.

And LFGP.

Friday, May 03, 2024

Limerick Friday #617: Clone Force 99 Fades Like A Shooting Star -- Day 1,508


They always had a plan to hatch
And special skills to match
An approach for every defense
A family in every sense
Boy, will I miss the "Bad Batch"

In the pocket he stood tall
Of defenders he took on each and all
Roman Gabriel led the Pack
And put the Rams on his back
It's past time to put him in the Hall

Most days are a blast
So many memories have passed
Loss and blessing
The love isn't lessening
15 years go so fast

The bats are still cold
The injuries continue to unfold
But they're treading water
And staying out of the gutter
This Mets team has a story to be told

"Will I know where to go?"
And every other travel woe
Planes, cabs, and trains
To go with foot pains
Remind me to go with the flow


Friday, February 09, 2024

Limerick Friday #608: The NFL Hall Of Fame Still Doesn't Understand The Assignment -- Day 1,425

 
Another snub for "Big Game"
And some of the selections were lame
His inclusion overdue
What more can we do?
The Hall without Holt ain't the same

A rough week for hoops
Both teams played like poops
Shooting an issue
Pack fans need a tissue
The problems just play on loops

Of later years did death rob
With a lament and sob
Family, faith, and football
This was it all
For ol' "Bayou Bob"

Helped redefine a position
Hard to believe his omission
Antonio Gates was a beast
He and Philip Rivers would feast
All HOF voters earn derision

Like sake with rice
A show sleek as ice
Yakuza and honor
Every gaijin a goner
Welcome back, "Tokyo Vice"