NC State travels to Chapel Hill to take on the Tar Heels tomorrow at high noon at Kenan Stadium. Since the teams have a combined three wins over Division I teams--zero by UNC--all we are left with is bad football and the potential for slightly amusing limericks.
Have at it ...
At a bachelorette party, Casie got insane
At the airport, she almost got detained
Didn’t know you could party in Ohio
Gotta watch for snipers in your Volvo
Will Steve allow weenie straws on his plane?
Along comes Butch to save Chapel Hell
Bunting’s wife was a butch too, near as I can tell
Will John put Chuck’s job on the hot seat
Or will the Pack send him off with another defeat
Either way, I’m taking a dump in the Old Well
I died laughing at Brent’s parenting tips
Though they are mostly made up of funny quips
Breast feeding is as natural as snowfall
But it’s more than that to Will and Paul
It means they finally get to see a girl’s nips
A rivalry game that always gives me a fright
If State loses it will be a long flight
Nightmares of T.A. McLendon all day
And the touchdown that was taken away
T.A. bagged my groceries at Piggly Wiggly last night
Last Limerick Friday before Thanksgiving Day
A nice reprieve from limericks that begin “Will is gay”
Turkey and potatoes and gravy for me
Then watch my sorry Dolphins on the TV
I wish you all the best straight away!
Happy T-Bird Day, everyone ...
Limerick Friday I
Limerick Friday II
Limerick Friday III
Limerick Friday IV
Limerick Friday V
Limerick Friday VI
62 comments:
A mighty F.U. from my co-worker Ely
Nice language with kids in your belly
If history holds true "Oh my lord!"
She'll give her first born to Cord
With Marco gone this place sure got smelly
A wonderful limerick by our man scooter
I'm not the only one who knows chuck has big hooters
Paul and Will don't get in "that" mood,
I don't think Chuck gets it on with Dudes.
I'm sad brent says im a streaky shooter.
Please, let's keep some decorum
On my humble little blog forum
Anonymous, you're starting out early
Joblessness must make you quite surly
Try to write limericks that don't just bore 'em
The Hatfields n McCoys will be a feudin’
Drinkin’ moonshine and squirrel they’ll be a eatin’
Carolina vs NC State?
Both teams have suffered a terrible fate
But don’t be thinking it’s ok for first cousins to be a marryin’
(weak and lame...I'm completely limericked out. Casie please insire us)
Scooter, you actually bore me
Your limericks are the worst in his-tory
You're blind as a bat and that's sad
You can't write and that's why you're mad
So why don't you go film another "Christmas Story"
To the tarheels we always lose
another team I should choose
I really dislike UNC
on their well, I did pee
Chuck can't coach, but thats no news
It's easy to talk shit while hiding behind an anonymous moniker. This calvacade oof douche baggery needs to end.
Anonymous is a dildo with ears
Hides under his bed to deal with the fears
I promise you can find another job
Even if it's polishing some Martin's knob
Keep it up and we'll reduce you to tears
You all know i can't use my name
I'm still here playing their game
I don't take orders from lowly writers
So go play with your yellow highlighters
By the way all your blogs are lame
Our jobs have been put up for bid
Behind our backs by the MSA squid
Don't even need a college degree
It's a vacuum now, can't you see
I know of this place I need to get rid
http://jobsearch.monster.com/getjob.asp?JobID=50370466&aid=10357800-16116&WT.mc_n=MKT000125&WT.mns_tc_jaint=control
http://jobsearch.monster.com/getjob.asp?JobID=50372751&aid=10357800-16116&WT.mc_n=MKT000125&WT.mns_tc_jaint=control
Tomorrow you'll see tons of punting
I promise, or my name ain't John Bunting
Humiliated by that prick Dick Baddour
Couldn't even wait 'til the end to show me the door
This time next year I'll be with Dick Cheney out hunting
I can't even count every QB I did sack
Pretty easy when you're coked up and jacked
I admit they never taught me to spell
They didn't care as long as I played well
Now ... does anyone know where I can score some good crack?
ECU wins more of the time,
then UNC, Duke, NCSU combined,
for that they like to make jokes,
when your coaches are has been old blokes,
give back Andre Brown of G-Vegas, his career is over with Pig-u Swine.
Anom, if all our blogs are boring, why do you visit?
If you don't like us, you know to exit
We're just friends trying write some puns
Even though Brent thinks I have "emotional issues", we're still friends
And Evan, who's this Chuck guy, and why does he have big tits?
Will and Paul need to listen to me
When "it moves" at your male massage, surprised you can't be
Do the opposite of everything you've done
And with girls, you'll soon have much fun
They'll be hanging on you like branches on a tree
if it sucks to be fans of a goat,
try rooting for a team with coyots,
or wolves, they all look like dogs,
similar to NCSU co-eds, what hogs,
when rain comes their huge asses make real good floats
Wake, App. State and ECU
The best teams in N.C. it is true
So what my players can't read
Or think SAT is a new kind of weed
My players take classes at the zoo
skip....aka scooter....nice...
Blunder bowl happens this weekend,
where is Tenn-Chat. when you need them,
they say someone must win,
but with coaching like that its a sin,
if OSU/UM is a diamond, this game is cubic zirconium
George, with girls I do just fine
Life's full of good and bad dates, it's a combine
I only blog about the girls that are extremly sad
I won't ever see them again, so them seeing my blog wouldn't be bad
The dates that go well, I keep below the blog line
no one cares about ECU
yes Will that is True
Against the rest of NC Eastern NC holds a grudge
But they just pack each others fudge
No one pays attention if you are not in Red or Blue
Seriously all NCSU women are ugly,
even rats look at them smugly,
if i had to stick a dick in that,
my name would be Scooter and i'd be blind as a bat,
i'd chew off my arm if they tried to get snugly.
IF NCSU was so great,
Brent/Scooter wouldn't go to UNC girls for dates,
crawl out from behind your TV,
unless you like a dish of VD,
from those fat chicks at NC State
I guess Will's picky for EZU vermin
Says NC State girls get him to squirmin'
He's in no position to turn anyone down
As a Jaycee-mooning, no-spelling clown
It's no wonder you're a 40-year-old virgin
Evan you fatso you're all red,
because fat ass State lap dancers won't let blood circulate to your damn legs,
but don't worry Amato is a genius,
so go suck on his blue n red penis,
is that the colors you have in your head?????
first off...i think all anonymous' posts should be removed...mainly because he is tool bag - sorry if i actually like you in real life anonymous..but i don't know who you are and your limericks are ridiculous...
enough of all this football noise
and whining about state from all the boys
its finally basketball time
what team is yours cuz the orange are mine
plus its almost christmas which means lots of toys
Evan's limericks are minor leagues,
brain as developed as Cheryl Tiegs,
if he had any rhymes that were funny,
his wife would pay all of us money,
I am Iraq and he's suffering battle fatigue.
Why no love for the Purple and Gold
I'm so sick of always being told
"No one cares about ECU,
I'd rather get the flu"
Too bad State fans will be left in the cold
Scooter you get less ass,
then State girls run out of gas,
in front of a .10 cent male hore convention,
girls of nc state with animals i won't mention,
but it's all they can get when guys have one once of ambition.
Scooter for dating at MSI,
you are the winner little guy,
but there's a big world out there,
of women who don't care,
about SEO so watch your dick stay bone dry.
then=> than
hore=> whore
once=> ounce
i=> I
This spelling lesson I give to you free
Since you studied hard for your GED
Your limericks don't really make sense
Plus you go to male whore conventions for 10 cents?
That says it all about our poor friend Will Stanley
For dating your right hand you are a loser
Too bad you think you're the chooser
You better avoid every mirror you see
Because little guy the reflection is reality
If you ever got a girl how fast would you lose her?
Brent you wish NCSU could win,
but forget State when it's time for Maude to begin,
your ego will be on the mend,
when Amato meets his sure end,
time too bring in Steelers coach with the big chin
Go to hell Carolina - I am shocked.
I have kept my mouth closed so I would not be mocked
This must now end
My Tarheels I must defend
Tomorrow a Wolfpack victory will be blocked
Scooter you type so well,
and you look like the age where a dick first swells,
maybe you could get a date at middle schools????,
they'd be impressed, with spelling you rule!!!!,
but with them too you'd lose b/c on nothing interesting you'd dwell.
ahh yes why I left that darn state
talking about the acc was not my fate
don't care about the heels, the pirates or the pack
and I get annoyed listening to ya'll talk smack
so can we concentrate on getting will and paul a date
Will, I have an old Speak 'n' Spell
One day, you too can learn to type well!
I imagine it must be hard to be bald
Pretending to be a teen to find a date at the mall
Too bad you don't have any good qualities to sell
Casie's getting bored with ACC submissions
She wants to give dating tips with our permission
Can she save Will and Paul from awkward bachelorhood?
Can she tell them how to have a date that's good?
Tom Cruise called and said that's an impossible mission
Paul can get a date just right
He went out with a girl last night
Had some conversation at a coffee house
Taking things slow, not making her my spouse
Also not blogging about it, The girl knowing I'm talking about her wouldn't be bright.
haha no dating tips from me
or maybe let me see…
will stop being such a schmuck
Paul so serious? What the f$#k?
stop trying so hard and just be
From bachelorhood isn't something to "save"
Much better than unhappy marriages where you feel like a slave
Is marriage really considered a "success"?
Maybe only in RTP area, where people jump into weddings and date less.
Personally, I'd like to stay single and "not behave".
Last limerick today from Paul
Not feeling well, might be last night's rain fall
Going home for the day
Maybe some sleep will be the curing way
Have a good friday to all.
look at casie takin' smack,
after she hopped on some guys sack,
casie has an infectious laugh,
NCSU girls are trailer park trash,
scooter wishes he met pubescent girls with any rack rack.
i think i'm with paul on this one
my limerick writing is definitely done
sorry for the poor showing
its just my work pile keeps growing
i need to find a rich man and have his son
The perfect limerick because a.) it's sexually explicit (sorta) and b.) it's not a character assination.
My hair is getting too long, you see
I'm starting to look like Kenny G
I made an appointment with little Missy
She's cute and kinda prissy
It tingles when I think of her and pee
Will tries to keep a brave face
Pretends everyone else is off base
He goes home, looks in the mirror and cries
Then practices online dating lies
Repels girls so bad he's now immune to mace
Is Will from a differnt place and time?
In what world do "trash" and "laugh" rhyme?
Though his weak rhymes almost make me cry
I blame EZU for each "old college try"
Admitting you are a pirates fans should be a crime
This dude Will is a trip
Even though he couldn't get a date from a crip
How can you cheer for the Pirates and Heels
Then go for lattes and facial peels
He would be a gay Titanic if he was ever a ship
Steve's a hero, does what he likes,
takes pics, rides planes and motorized bikes,
never has Apache worried him none,
even when SEO really won't fun,
wonder why i left my good job,
for fat Pat, what a womanizing slob.
"couldn't get a date from a Crip...." "gay Titantic" I smell sorry Evan rhymes. EVAAAAAAN??????? You afraid i'm going to rip on you???? Sweet. It's ok, you're still a youngin', stick to ppc and seek help with anything else.
The Cary, NC Kiera Knightlys of the Round Table
President of the chapter was Steve's label
Can't wait to fly down to Cabo
Portis is hurt now i gotta start Gado
Hope Steve can fly home when we're wrecked on black label
i think my limerick well is drying up
There goes Jack of the never-ending gut
His spine has more jelly than his donut
Dude keeps a rifle under his desk
Believes the direction they're heading is the best
He'll bury his family under Hole #4 at the putt-putt
I know the formula for State clan,
takes 3 to take on 1 ECU man,
in FB we'll kick their sorry ass,
and I'm going to rip up the grass,
NCSU girls grazing they will ban.
For anyone who likes purple and light blue
To call yourself a man just ain't true
Until you see a naked girl you're just a boy
Your blowup doll doesn't count, it's a toy
You'll lose, then go home and dine alone on squirrel stew
we should vote for a favorite at the end. Except for most of Evans, these have me rolling. Sorry Evan. :-)
Casie got busted at the airport security lines
Be careful, it could be jail time or hefty fines
They went through her panties and bras
And found some dayglow penis straws
No Weapons, No Liquids, No Gels, Casie didn’t your read the signs?
The time has come to say goodbye
The morning's storm of limericks has lost its high
Anonymous continues to be a mystery
No one has deciphered her posting history
But after a cold November rain comes a clear blue sky
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