After a one-week hiatus, Limerick Friday is back in full effect today, bigger and more nonsensical than ever. Without further ado ...
An Evan-Will war of words
About whether Will loses girls to nerds
Anonymous must be a drama queen
Stir up trouble, then slip away clean
Whoever you are, your posts are for the birds
March Madness time quickly draws near
You’ll learn new mascots like Banana Slug and Chanticleer
You’ll see Greg Gumble’s jerry curl every day
And realize Billy Packer has nothing good to say
Then you’ll piss away $10 on a pool and say, “Well, there’s always next year”
A Teflon vice president named Dick
For the Grim Reaper he’s far too quick
That dude’s like Friday the 13th’s Jason
He’s not worried even when his heart’s racin’
Grabs his shotgun and says, “I’ll never die, I’m way too slick”
Became a trailer bride, had a coupla kids, got left by K-Fed
Forgot to wear panties and shared Paris Hilton’s bed
My question amidst all this Britney smuck
Is, seriously, who really gives a f$#k?
There wasn’t half this much drama when Will shaved his head
A wee hobbit went north to celebrate a new season
Drank too much grog and looked pale beyond reason
Thought he would woo the fair princess
Yet wound up with a troll from the land of Hostess
Cried bitter hobbit tears and blamed the princess for teasin’
The ACC Tournament’s in Tampa Bay
Couldn’t think of a worse place to play
They don’t like hoops in the Sunshine State
Their elderly citizens are in REM sleep by eight
Bring it back to Greensboro, and there it should stay
Free agency starts today in the NFL
Millions of dollars thrown about at the sound of the bell
Rooting for an impact signing for the Dolphins
Someone who can help us finally get to nine wins
If it’s another Hebrew quarterback I’m going to give up and say, “What the hell”
Coach Lowe, you gotta get healthy, man
Maybe mix in a salad every now and again
Hit the treadmill when you have time
Then hydrate with water and a lime
Need you wearing that red jacket as long as you can
Saw John McCain on Letterman trying to quench his presidential thirst
Think you might want to figure out which party you’re in first
Cracked a coupla cheesy jokes
Even worked in a few Iraq pokes
But with Obama, Hillary, Edwards and more, your bubble may be burst
Off to the salon they sashay
Giddy as schoolgirls in May
They recline and whisper, “We need a pedicure for our toes
“Meany Coach Roy makes it hard for our nails to grows”
Now try to tell me being a Tar Heel isn’t gay
10 comments:
Brent’s grandma and I had a beer
She told me she never thought he was queer
Always a consummate lady’s man
Even if he’s redneck sportin’ a farmer’s tan
Dressed as a hot dog he’s still a world class booby mountaineer
McDonald's All-Americans out the butt
On to Cremin's court they did proudly strut
The unranked Jackets painted their throats
Just another Thursday for the pedicure-loving goats
On Phycho Handjob's nose was placed many a nut
Anonymous is back once again
Y'all hate me just because you can
Why do y'all stick up for freaking Will?
You know he's a retard and over the hill
Keep hating on me, y'all don't know where I've been ...
Who is the limerick deep throat
Sometime in the past we were all in the WBS boat
My theory is it’s more then one
A check your logs and the mystery’s done
If they’re smart enough to posting by proxy I’ll buy’em a root beer float
Casie bumps and grinds with some dude's junk
Then accuses him of being a perv punk
Will can't get any play
That's why everyone thinks he be gay
George Doair's good ship lollipop done did sunk
Anonymous is back once again,
like the genital warts on his three chins,
he lives vicariously through my words,
hoping i'd mention girls i've served,
with a blow-up doll he couldn't win.
scooter went to town on limericks this week
making up for lost time and sounding so shiek
don't really care about anonymous and more
makes it kind of funny and like a war
for all we know he's just some ex-msi geek
brent in a hotdog suit sure is a hoot
then add drunken animals to boot
will wrote a story of his ex girl
was so downright mad his head started to swirl
he's gonna aim for her at the jaycee turkey shoot
It ain't Friday until the time when
Fair Casie has thoughtfully chimed in
Laughed aloud at her crack about the turkey shoot
Chuckled at her giving Anonymous the boot
That poor former co-worker who will never work again
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