Day 1,172, Quasi-Quarantine: "The Office" Is Found In The "City Of Fire"

It's been jarring to watch "City on Fire" without being distracted by how much the 'bag husband in the show looks like Ryan Howard from "The Office."

Actor Ashley Zukerman -- performing as the adroitly-'baggy-named Keith Lamplighter -- is a dead ringer for Ryan's B.J. Novak. So much so that I spend much of "City on Fire" waiting for Keith to pull a scam on Kelly Kapoor in Central Park.

Run your game, Temp.

Day 898, Quasi-Quarantine: Preach, Pam

 

Capturing the big Monday energy here.

Day 762, Quasi-Quarantine: "Severance" Gets "The Office" Treatment

I've been a huge fan of "Severance," so it pains me a little to admit that I was slightly underwhelmed by the season finale. The optimist in me (yes, it exists) believes that the show is just setting up a more stunning second season.

Anyway, this "The Office"-inspired intro sendup is a spot-on way to conclude the first season of one of the more remarkable new shows to hit the small screen in recent years.

Day 668, Quasi-Quarantine: Bidding Adieu To A Stellar "The Office" Advent Calendar

 

In contrast to a rather disappointing Star Wars Lego advent calendar, this year's Funko Pop! "The Office" advent calendar was just off-the-charts good.

We've discussed the Week 1, Week 2, and Week 3 hauls, so an abbreviated Week 4 brought the haul to a close as *sniff* Christmas passed.

Here were the final reveals:

Day 22: Jan Levinson-Gould (complete with candle and wine glass)

Day 23: Elf Dwight

Day 24: Santa Michael

All told, in the immortal words of Clark W. Griswold, this really enhanced my holiday spirit -- and I can't wait to see what themes Funko explores in coming years.

(That's what she said.)

Day 647, Quasi-Quarantine: "The Office" Funko Advent Calendar Cements Legendary Status With Week 3 Haul

 

After a first week littered with the stars and a second week highlighted by some "B" players, week three brought some truly stellar finds.

• Day 15: Kevin with pot of chili
• Day 16: Michael with doo-rag
• Day 17: Mose
• Day 18: Belschnickel!
• Day 19: Kelly Kapoor in Casual Friday attire
• Day 20: Ryan with dyed hair and shades
• Day 21: Creed

In last week's recap, I mentioned the hope for four characters, and I was half right. I had also -- somehow -- omitted the need for a Creed Bratton, and Funko came through with a "Chase" version of the larger Creed Funko, complete with blood and a "Boo" cup.

With three days left, I can speculate that there may be a Santa Claus version of Michael Scott, with the potential for a Roy, Jan, or *fingers crossed* Todd Packer.

I couldn't be happier with the third week's reveals, and overall this has been an amazing collectible calendar -- a true gift in the Michael Scott sense.

"Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, 'Hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.'"

Day 640, Quasi-Quarantine: The Second Week Of "The Office" Funko Advent Calendar Brings Some Beauts

 

After summarizing the first week of the Funko Pop! "The Office" advent calendar, it's high time to get updated on what the second week of surprises has brought:

• Day 8: Angela with cat
• Day 9: Andy Bernard with banjo
• Day 10: Phyllis
• Day 11: Dundee!
• Day 12: "Casual Friday" Meredith
• Day 13: Toby with "Suck on this" rock
• Day 14: Jim as Goldenface

While this is quite a run of memorable characters, the highlight thus far is Meredith Palmer, complete with censored exposed boob as part of her wardrobe "malfunction." 

I'm hopeful that next week brings Kelly Kapoor, Jan Levinson-Gould, Ryan Howard, and maybe even Todd Packer. But if I had a strong quibble thus far, it's that we are two weeks into the calendar and still no Kevin. 

Make this right, Funko.

Day 633, Quasi-Quarantine: Living My Best Season With The Funko Pop "The Office" Advent Calendar

The Funko Pop! "The Office" advent calendar has been a welcome addition to the holiday season ... despite a not-insignificant part of me missing the beer advent calendar from last year.

The first week of pocket Pops from the calendar has featured:

• Day 1: Michael
• Day 2: Jim
• Day 3: Pam
• Day 4: Darryl
• Day 5: Dwight
• Day 6: Oscar
• Day 7: Stanley

The highlight thus far has been "Florida Stanley," complete with straw hat, pink "Miami Vice" shirt, and sunglasses. 

With so many of the main characters already unveiled, I look forward to some of the hilarious side characters -- Creed, Angela, Toby, Phyllis, Kevin, Meredith, etc. -- getting their day in the sun.

Michael: "Christmas is cancelled."

Stanley: "You can't cancel a holiday."

Michael: "Keep it up, Stanley, and you'll lose New Year's."

Fridays Don't Come Often Enough. That's What She Said.

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 52

#1
I definitely feel like I need more real-time, every-shot coverage of all the times when Tiger Woods finishes 37th in a tournament.

#2
Alternately cool and terrifying: pups playing underwater.

#3
My least-favorite part of college hoops is flopping. I can’t quite recall when trying to run and jump in front of another player so you can then fall down became confused with “good defense,” but it’s out of control. My high school coach once told me you can’t play defense from your arse, and I think that still applies.

#4
So I recently noticed that the woman (Rondi Reed) who plays Mike’s abrasive mother on “Mike & Molly” also had a bit part as one of Jerry’s neighbors in the “Kiss Hello” episode of “Seinfeld.”

#5
One of the leaders of the avalanche of semi-literate, douchebag athletes-turned-broadcasters is Shannon Secretariat Sharpe. As if offering no cogent, original thoughts pertaining to his own sport weren’t bad enough, he thought he’d bring his ignorance to an entirely new arena with this completely erroneous college basketball report. Way to be!



#6
Dopplegangers of the Week? Deandre Jordan of the L.A. Clippers and “Ghostbusters” actor Ernie Hudson.

#7
Is the Millennium Falcon lying at the bottom of the Baltic Sea? I really want to think so.

#8
Duke leads the nation in George Michael beards. Also, alum/announcer Mike Gminski wears a creepy hoop earring. I’m not sayin’ those things are related, I’m ... just sayin’.

#9
I’m astonished to say “The Office” is finding its stride in a post-Michael Scott world. Some surprisingly hilarious episodes this season.

#10
Three straight Jeremy Lin-related covers, SI? C’mon, you’re better than that. I thought.

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 46

#1
So, one of my favorite shows, “The League,” starts back on October 6. Does anyone else think it’s odd that a show about fantasy football BEGINS during Week 5 of the NFL season?!
Hell, my fantasy season is going to be over by the time that freaking show starts.

#2
I’ve been a fan of ESPN’s “30 for 30” series, and all of the ones I’ve seen have been well done. But the most disappointing one thus far for me has been “One Night in Vegas,” which attempted to draw parallels between the fall of Mike Tyson and the death of Tupac Shakur. The intimation seemed to be that Tyson’s career was never the same after the night Shakur was killed after a Tyson fight, but it was loosely introduced and never really supported or tied to the events. Also, the relationship between the two seemed overblown, but more concerning to me was that the documentary didn’t add or reveal much. What new were we supposed to learn about Tupac and Tyson? To me, it fell way short in that regard.

#3
The first few weeks of the NFL season were marked by blown coverages, poor tackling, questionable penalties and injuries. Sort of like no one was adequately prepared. Sad.

#4
When you take into account what his name looks like and what the Philly fanbase represents, how is Moise Fokou’s No. 53 not the top-selling jersey in their market?

#5
A horrifying, yet eye-opening, account of why a GOP operative “left the cult.” Warning: Reading this may make you want to move to Vancouver tomorrow.

#6
If you think college football is dying -- or is already dead -- this is a great story, and links, backing up that premise.

#7
One of my new favorite shows, “Sons of Anarchy,” has returned. A poignant moment came when one of the characters noted, “The older we get, the further away we get from who we think we are.”

#8
Someone more eloquent than I can put words to the poignancy shown here in this video about VJ Day in Waikiki, 1945. But it is truly amazing that this film is more than 65 years old.



#9
Well, the powers-that-be in NFL offices have finally gotten what they’ve always wanted: they’ve officially turned the NFL into a seven-on-seven drill. The rules changes have been slanted so far in favor of offense that I honestly believe that passing yardage records need to have an asterisk affixed these days, to denote the “no touching” era of the NFL. 400-yard passing games are the new 300-yard passing games.

#10
Some of the deleted scenes from “The Office” are hysterical, leading one to wonder what the decision process is on what gets cut and what doesn’t. In one of the scenes, Meredith cuts off some whining from Gabe with the line, “Hey—this ain’t no Breakfast Club, BITCH!” Epic.

Just In Case You Needed Another Reason To Drink Guinness ...

Beach. Beer. Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.

These are a few of my favorite things.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: Goodbye To A Pack Legend, Plus “The Office” Makes An Odd Decision

When Lo Charles’ grave got dug
Pack heart strings got a tug
A lost link to a championship past
But at least, now at long last,
V’s got somebody to hug

A child abandoned and lost
For others, paid the ultimate cost
Who will speak for little Caylee
As her mother dances on daily?
With the trash, justice has been tossed

More trouble brewing in Chapel Hill
Of cheating, haven’t had their fill
Every day Bitch has the top job
Integrity takes a hit at UNC-Snob
But they really don’t get it … still

Blood taken once more than thrice
Veins are paying the price
For health, it’s a small fee
Ready to feel again like me
But what it is? Still no dice

Not to be an “Office” hater
But really -- fucking James Spader?!
That’s a death knell you just heard
Because this direction’s absurd
Michael Scott, can you come back later?

Last time …

The Time Michael Scott Might Have Taught Me How To Fly

"They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office. But I will. Got to be better than a deathbed." ~Michael Scott

“The Office” isn’t certainly the type of show that lends itself to poignant self-analysis or insightful evaluations of life paths. Shows that center on office pranks and bathroom humor just don’t really tend in that direction as a rule.

Yet this show was always so relatable to me that it became very personal over it’s seven seasons. Every Thursday, I would see reflections of my relationships and some of my predicaments, both inside and outside of work – to the point where, at one point in my life, it became a bit eerie.

So saying goodbye to Michael Scott in his series finale took on some measure of greater meaning for me. We have learned to take Steve Carell so much for granted that, at times, it takes an episode like this one to remind us of just what a gifted actor he truly is. He’s as capable of showing vulnerability as he is to deliver straight-faced lines; he can demonstrate unexpected self-awareness in the same breath as he delivers a well-crafted bit of physical humor; he can tug at your heart strings just as he tosses out a cringe-inducing scatalogical joke. In his last episode of “The Office,” his very best was on display, as he balanced on a tight rope between hilarity and emotion.

James Poniewozik of Time opined that “The Office” to this point has really been a character study on the evolution of Michael Scott, which is a great point. Poniewozik expounded in the following way:

Although the show didn't harp on it, the show was really about Michael's search for family: even more than he wanted to be a comedian or a movie director, Michael wanted to be a husband and a dad, but he had to go a long way to be ready for it.
And for a long time, the Scranton branch was the practice family that helped him learn—at the end of which, he was ready to walk down the hall of that airport terminal and, finally, fly.

Just as we were in tears (not me, man, but I’m just sayin’, a lot of people were) at the prospect of Michael Scott’s final walk toward a plane that would take him into a future that doesn’t involve Pam, Dwight, Jim or any of us, he takes off the mic and dead-pans to the crew, “Hey, will you guys let me know if this ever airs?” Again, it was that type of delicate balance and interplay of emotions that offered up the most appropriate farewell to one of the most memorable characters in comedic history.

Poniewozik also wrote that, for seven years, we were treated to Michael Scott’s “story of personal growth” (that’s what she said). And as his departure forces me to look back, I’m realizing that, all along, maybe it was mine as well.

“Soul Pancake” Isn’t Quite What You Expected, But Possibly Much More

“To quote Teilhard de Chardin:
‘We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience.’”

So I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from “Soul Pancake: Chew on Life’s Big Questions.” I mean, my only impressions of Rainn Wilson came from his portrayals of Arthur Martin in “Six Feet Under” and, of course, Dwight from “The Office.” Let’s just say both of those characters are, well, quirky. And then I had been told to follow Wilson’s Twitter feed, where he is alternately hysterical and thought-provoking. So I guess I had the feeling that “Soul Pancake” would be a bit humorous and a bit quirky -- but I wasn’t ready for how deep it turned out to be.

“What is SoulPancake? SoulPancake is a movement to chew on life’s big questions. It’s a space to tackle art, philosophy, creativity, and spirituality. And ultimately, SoulPancake is about you -- the thinkers, artists, poets, and misfits who seek to stamp out stigmas, shake up truths, and redefine what it means to be human.”

“Soul Pancake” called for a lot of reader involvement, with numerous requests for interaction. It was largely a workbook, asking you to consider certain monumental issues about life, religion and all else, then document your answers (or questions). I have to admit I didn’t use the book in that way, so I’m sure I didn’t get everything I could have out of it, but it was still thoroughly intriguing.

In the intro/foreword, I was surprised at how good a writer Wilson is … I was also surprised at how much of an impact Darryl Strawberry and “A Chorus Line” had on his career and spiritual choices, but those are stories for another day. It turns out Wilson had endeavored to read all the religious books of all the core religions, in order to give himself the most information possible to inform his decisions about his belief paths and his soul direction.

“To my crowd of artist friends, belief in God or religion seemed like a throwback to a previous generation. It was quaint and obsolete, a weakness of our parents and grandparents. It was a simplistic way to moralize and to live for some superstition-filled fantasyland of heaven with God, the ultimate daddy-figure, patting you on the back and telling you that you were a good kid. Faith was a crutch for the weak. Religion was there to make you feel bad and keep you oppressed. Believers were judgmental simpletons who lived in big, square states in the center of our country and equated Jesus with gun rights and hated gays and oppressed people of color, and wanted women to stay in the kitchen. Religion’s time had come. And gone.”

“I didn’t want to be like so many others and have some unexplored, unexamined philosophical stance on something that was truly important. I mean, there either has to be a creator or the universe has always been as it is, beautiful and purposeless.”

“I thought about all of this long and hard. (That’s what she said.)”

I certainly appreciated the depth of feeling and thought that went into the construction of this book, but I derived perhaps the most utility of it through the amazing collection of quotes it contained. Sarcastic, emotional, ironic, informative, awe-inspiring, controversial; they ran the gamut -- much like the book itself.

“Soul Pancake” is certainly worth checking out if you don’t mind a book that will make you work a little bit in the reading. And you have to get past the image of Dwight writing a book, which is harder than it seems (that’s what she said); because if you maintain that image for too long, this particular book will blow your mind …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: Saying Goodbye To Leslie Nielsen, Plus The Office Is Wuphfing It Up

He made us chuckle in “Airplane”
Glad Leslie Nielsen’s no longer in pain
In “Naked Gun,” a bumbling fool
But he made idiocy cool
You’ll live on in laughter again and again

Spygate 2 … surely you jest?
Josh McDaniel, a joke out west
Still his team is no-goody
By working for the Hoody
He learned cheating from the best

The NCAA gave up on being fair
Turned their backs on amateurism on a dare
Gave Cam Newton a free pass
Chose money over morality and class
A shame and a crime for those who care

The Scooters have been written off before
Have now lost Frank Gore and more
In the playoffs, given no chance
But I believe, despite my rants
So will this team go down in lore?

Cornered the market on being clever
“The Office” in their final-season endeavor
As Michael Scott is ready to head
(That’s what she said)
They’ve been funnier than ever

Last time …

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 24

#1
So Reggie Bush’s Heisman Trophy is (rightly) removed from USC’s facilities, but O.J.’s stays?. Got it, thanks.

#2
For a few years now, “Big Brother” has equaled summer to me (sad as that is). Unfortunately, this may be the most boring season, with the fewest personalities, ever.

#3
So Dez Bryant threatens to hold out, gets a great deal from the Cowboys, then refuses to carry shoulder pads or take part in rookie hazing, then gets injured and could miss a month or more. Guess karma really is a bitch.

#4
I’ve always felt that Oliver Stone is perhaps the most overrated director ever. Now, with his Hitler affinity, he’s confirmed himself as a douche as well.

#5
Is it bad that 96% of the money used to rebuild Iraq is unaccounted for at this point? Just checking.

#6
Oh, how I’ve missed you, Joan Holloway. Dear lord, how I’ve missed you.

#7
If the “Last Exorcist” is rated PG-13, I’d hate to see what a goddam R is these days.

#8
Stuart Appleby shoots a freaking Sunday 59 to win the Greenbrier Classic by one stroke. That is just insane.

#9
Christiane Amanpour might be a helluva journalist, but dear lord, she has the worst hair of any TV media person I’ve ever seen. She looks like a she-Dwight.

#10
Anyone who thinks Butt Favre is just going to retire and slip away this quietly hasn’t seen many Wranglers or Sears commercials.

"That's What She Said" -- "Mad Men"-Style

Alas, some of the sting of Michael Scott's imminent shuffling off of "The Office's" mortal coil has been offset by the return of "Mad Men."

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIV: Say It Ain’t So, Michael Scott, Plus Butt Favre Is Jealous Of NBA FA

Couldn’t stop it, try as I might
Knew it was a battle I couldn’t fight
Feared the day Carell left the show
Now where does “The Office” go?
Maybe Dunder-Mifflin to be run by Dwight

Could this be the end of Roger?
They’re labeling him an old codger
But his demise has been predicted for years
Yet he still wins titles in tears
Don’t rule out a comeback for this artful dodger

Turns out Canadians are the same
Their cops beat the peaceful like a game
They’re as corrupt as the U.S. oil biz
He who protests will get his
The G20 interrupted—who’s to blame?

NBA free agency makes us all dumber
The league itself is a bit of a bummer
The top players had a summit
As NBA ratings did plummet
Favre: “You’re supposed to pay attention to me this summer!”

Jeezus struck by lightning, oh-my-oh!
Good heavens, don’t I know!
A six-story statue in rubble
Guess it needed a protective bubble
Why is irony always found in Ohio?

Last time …

What Was Michael Scott Like In The Sixth Grade?

This.

Detention? F that, give this kid his own damn show!

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 11

#1
If you’re like me, it was a bit off-putting to see Elaine’s ponytailed boyfriend, Craig (Harry Van Gorkum), from “Seinfeld” making an appearance as British emissary Louis Dalton on “24.”
I cannot put a ceiling on the amount of money I would pay to have Jack Bauer finish an interrogation of him by saying, “The Nicole Miller was never arriving from Milan, was it, pal? WAS IT?!” before choking him with his own ponytail.

#2
Darrell Green recently ran the 40-yard dash in 4.43 seconds. Not bad, you’re saying? He’s. Freaking. 50. Years. Old.
There really isn’t anything I can add to that.

#3
So, in the Scoot Cave, my 8-year-old niece saw a bobblehead of Michael Scott from “The Office.” She promptly asked why I have a bobblehead of George Bush.
She doesn’t know me very well.

#4
It is impressive how far Dabo Swinney has come. From a struggling skater in the movie “The Cutting Edge” all the way to Clemson football coach? Wow.
Excuse me just a second, sorry …
OK, I’m being told that was D.B. Sweeney in “The Cutting Edge.” Carry on.

#5
Has anyone ever seen NC State wingman Scott Wood and Matt Saracen (Zach Gilford) of “Friday Night Lights” in the same place at the same time?
(Work with me here, the Jimmy Chitwood resemblance is played out.)

#6
The father of American speed skater Apollo Anton Ohno is named Yuki Ohno. Goddam that guy for breaking up the Beatles.

#7
First off, to those who say they are disappointed in Tiger Woods because he was the kind of guy you hoped your child would grow into, well, you have no concept of parenting. Choosing to have your child aspire to be like someone because they can hit a little white ball really well is really, well, sad.
Second, if you needed this episode to figure out that Tiger Woods is a complete and utter douche, then you need to turn off ESPN and start forming your own opinions.

#8
LaDainian Tomlinson got kicked to the curb by the Chargers, begging the question: Has anyone ever fallen faster and harder than LT? Hell, Shaun Alexander thinks LT dropped off the face of the earth pretty quick.
Tomlinson certainly sped his downfall with his petulant behavior and refusal to play injured -- and this certainly didn’t help, either.
Oh, well. Thanks for that one year you carried my fantasy football team, dude. Late.

#9
Went for a walk at Shelly Lake recently. In the parking lot, we noticed a dog locked in a car. What kind of complete piece of shit takes his dog to a park … and then leaves it in the goddam car!? How much of a tease is that for a dog?! How freaking cruel can you be!?

#10
It was a bit eerie to hear The Stooges’ “Search and Destroy” playing on “Lost” during the scene where Sawyer is getting drunk in his old home. I was listening to that song and album (“Raw Power”) in the car prior to that episode coming on.
The question becomes: Am I part of the flash-sideways? If so, I’m volunteering to be conned by Kate.