Day 228, Quasi-Quarantine: A Heart As Big As The Ocean

Happy birthday to the world's sweetest kid. May your next year be full of all the good things that this past one lacked. 💙

“Happiest Toddler” Riffs On Cave-Kids, Body Language, Food Disguising … And Boobs

“Where did your baby go? One day you’re cradling a tiny newborn in your arms, all of parenthood stretched out in front of you. Then before you know it, you’ve living with an all-new creature—cuter than ever, but suddenly opinionated, stubborn, and lightning fast. Welcome to toddlerhood!”

“You’ll be most successful if you keep in mind this one key fact: Toddlers act less like little schoolkids than they do like uncivilized little … cavemen.”

Just as Ube was turning our lives upside down, I made myself read Dr. Harvey Karp’s “The Happiest Infant on the Block,” which had come highly recommended. It turned out to be an essential tome, full of some vital tips and tricks without which I have been reduced to rocking in the corner, muttering gibberish and shotgunning Jim Beam. “The Fetus Whisperer,” as I dubbed him, led us to the 5 S’s, which played a big role in helping us to survive the first few months.

Well, with Ube rapidly racing toward and into toddlerhood, I figured I’d go back to the well and check out Karp’s “The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old.” The book introduced intriguing concepts such as the Fast Food Rule, Toddler-ese, you-I messages, the side door of the mind, time-ins, hand-checks and patience-stretching. I could see eventually employing most of them as time goes on -- though it’s going to take a lot for me to embrace the creepy-odd clap-growl tactic.

Despite the use of the word “boob” seeming to appear perhaps more than one would expect for a book about toddlers and a questionable reference to “tossing the salad,” the book was a quick and easy read, and I found it to be quite useful. What resonated with me most were an apropos characterization of your child as a mini-cave person and the idea of acting as an ambassador.

“The truth is we don’t live in a black-and-white world. Sometimes you’ll act like your child’s buddy and sometimes her boss, but the best way to understand your job is to think of yourself as an ambassador … an ambassador from the 21st century to the ‘uncivilized’ little munchkin living in your home.”

“Happiest Toddler” also offered up maybe the most compelling anti-spanking argument I’ve read. Additionally, the importance of nonverbal cues are completely overlooked in most circles, so I found some of Karp’s assertions on that front pretty amazing (“Your toddler’s right brain has one absolutely spectacular ability that will become one of your best tools for connecting with her and civilizing and calming her, too: the capacity to respond to ‘nonverbal’ communication.”)

The book also partly served as a motivational, up-with-parents work, outlining four fitting and honest struggles that all parents face: lack of help/guidance, feelings of failure, your toddler’s ability to push your buttons and clashing temperaments. I was also interested to read the theory that toddler behavior can also spark distant memories of painful past experiences, leading to overreactions and unexpected emotions. That’s why it was good to read the bit about how that should be balanced by a recognition that toddlers are only doing what they are programmed to do, so why fight it so much?

“Toddlers literally can’t stop themselves from exploring, touching, and pulling on everything. That’s how they learn about the world and about themselves. So while you may feel that your little friend keeps defying you, she may feel you’re unfairly blocking her greatest joy -- discovery.”

Anyway, I found myself frantically jotting down notes as I pored over the text. I’m not naïve enough to be able to convince myself that the majority of these tactics will work with a rather independent-minded Ube, but it’ll certainly be good to know they’re there just as I’m getting ready to pull a Rain Man with a bottle of Beam.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: An Overdue, Big Change In Miami, Plus At Least We Can Take Pride In Our Vets

Benched is a robotic Henne
Inserted is trustworthy Penny
Can he find the ’08 magic?
Or will ’10 turn tragic
Can’t be any worse, can he?

An up-tempo Pack took the floor
Behind the Lethal Weapon Four
A trio of rookies are fearless
In the ACC, Tracy Smith is peerless
Will they meet expectations and more?

Apathy setting in once again
Hope thrown in a trash bin
Lowest common denominator rules
“Idiocracy” coming true, fools
Open-mindedness may return -- but when?

A choke job for the Pack in Death Valley
The whole offensive line played like Sally
When the pressure mounts
O’Brien failing when it counts
Against the Demon Deacs, will they rally?

Another Veterans Day come and passed
Hope our appreciation does last
Spent the morning with Ube
Thankful for so much, you see
Freedom across a land so vast

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: The Right Pisses On Logic And Decorum, Plus UNC Goes Into Fetal Position And Don Blacks Out

Who gave a forum to Glenn Beck?!
Makes you say what the fuck heck
A racist stunt on a beautiful day
Pissing on the grave of MLK
Any wonder this country is a wreck?

Media locked out over at UNC
As they hunt for an outspoken nanny
The NCAA firestorm is reheating
Because the Carolina Way is cheating
Any standards? Guess we’ll see

Football is finally back
The return, the score, the sack
A tough loss, a gritty win
What a long wait it’s been
Hard to miss an opener with the Pack

Headed down to the ATL
To celebrate football and yell
Ube’s first night away
Nervous it makes me, I’ll say
Oh well, UNC’s players can’t spell

Roger remembers Don the fur sender
Pete’s hatred do Lane and Kenny engender
A Roger-Joan-Don sandwich?
Peggy’s nude and outlandish
While Don goes on epic bender

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: Black Santa And The Tar Cheats Have Uninvited Guests, Plus The Big Easy Was Worth It

Heels optimism has been doused
Suddenly, UNC quiet as a churchmouse
NCAA investigators abound
Cheater Hill is the dirtiest around
Butch: Buy U The Car & House

More headlines to the media Palin gave
Misspoke, hoped Shakespeare would save
She’s a disgraced, ‘tarded bird
“Refudiate” just ain’t a word
And the Bard just rolled over in his grave

He evoked 9-11 in sports, good god
His comments stunk of spoiled cod
Became a star and forgot his fam
Now a Twin Towers comparison, damn
Dwyane Wade is just another NBA fraud

Now lying Saban is agent-hatin’
As Fins fans are his apology waitin’
And as his ex-program LSU limps
He calls player chasers “pimps”
Irony, thy name is Prick Satan

Ube’s first trip on an airplane
In-laws tested my ability to stay sane
A Louisiana trip takes many a mile
Worth it to see great-grandmas smile
Abita Brewery helped numb the pain

Last time …

Planes, Tools And Brits: That Time I Went To D.C.

In mid-June, I had to take a trip to Washington, D.C., on business. I dig visiting the nation’s capital, but since this would mark the first time I had to leave Ube and I would be traveling with a tool and some daffy English birds, I was none too excited.

Things didn’t get much better when we arrived in D.C. to find mid-90s weather and mind-numbing humidity, coupled with the tool’s desire to visit as many landmarks as possible, since he had never been to the capital. Our first stop was checking in at the convention center to make sure our booth had actually arrived.


Then we stumbled into a gay pride parade on the Mall, just in front of the Capital Building. I snapped a picture of the tool to make it look like he was marching.


By that time, having worn only Tevas off the plane, my feet were killing me. But I placated the tool by accompanying him to the White House, which was nice to see again.


We finally made it back to the hotel, where we checked in, then met down at the bar for a late lunch. I had a Chesapeake crab cake sandwich with spicy remoulade, fries and a really tall beer, a Bad Moon Porter from the local DuClaw Brewing.

That evening, we headed to the Newseum for a networking event. The Newseum was a tremendous venue for educational and coolness purposes, though its layout wasn’t as conducive for actual networking. Still, many of the exhibits were tremendous. The favorites for me were a collection of Walter Iooss’s work from Sports Illustrated, “G-Men and Journalists” and the Berlin Wall Gallery.


Later in the evening, we discovered the Hank Greenspun Terrace, dubbed the “overlook of America’s Main Street.” I even found a bar on this level, allowing me to enjoy a Sierra Nevada as we gazed out upon Pennsylvania Avenue and the Capitol Building. Ironically, we noted cleanup crews sweeping up from the gay pride parade earlier in the day, immediately destroying the stereotype that gays are neat and finicky.


I also had a business dinner at the oldest restaurant in the city, Old Ebbitt Grill, and had tremendous soft-shell crabs, crab cakes, seafood linguini, Irish Coffees and Sierras throughout my stay. I got Ube a "Future President" onesie and somehow ended up with a stuffed Cartman doll that someone figured might make a suitable gift for a 7-month-old.

Anyway, the rest of the stay was a whirlwind of 8,000 exhibitors, booth manning, session attendance and live Tweeting. Needless to say, I was happy to get back home, although two delays (one on the way out to the tarmac and the second when we were on the bus out to the plane) cost me an hour-and-a-half more time with the tool and his drunken friend who got us from the airport and proceeded to stave off puking for the rest of the way home.

Oh, Raleigh, how I take thee for granted … and how I miss you most when I am away.

To Ube From Cup A Joe, Volume IX

At Our First Parting …

At our first parting
How will I miss you?
Let me count the ways
Then count the days

I’ll miss the day’s starting
The smiles and cuddles, too
Your innocent plays
Amidst the sun’s early rays

Won’t miss the morning parting
The drive away from you
Hectic work-world days
So cruel in their delays

Then from work I’m darting
Unknown grins and thoughts of you
And your disarming ways
And the ways your legs splay

Just as my heart is smarting
You see me, I see you
Your smile appears and stays
I hold for what seems like days

The evening’s just starting
A yawn accompanies your coo
Your crib calls, and that’s OK
Whatever love costs, I’ll pay

So dream little dreams, darling
Of blocks and mirrors and giraffes, too
Of cold Decembers and mild Mays
Of fluffy clouds and puppy strays

And on our first parting
Thoughts only for Mom and you
Though I’m miles away
My heart always with you stays

As I count seconds, minutes and days

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 19

#1
There really isn’t much I can add to this to make it any funnier. So behold … the Better Marriage Blanket.

#2
I admit that I got the giggles watching Walter toking the kind bud on the retro episode of “Fringe.” Then Throwback Dunham walked in and those giggles quickly turned into gasps.

#3
Do you remember when Indiana Jones was forced to drink the blood of kali ma in the “Temple of Doom”? Well, when Ube is on the changing table, her shimmying looks almost exactly like Indy’s (5:38 mark of this video). Makes for some nervous moments.

#4
We love El Rodeo. To paraphrase “City Slickers,” “It’s hot, cheap and plenty of it.” And no one is claiming that it’s going to win any awards in the Mexican culinary realm.
But even they could not have been thrilled one Friday night when a horse trailer showed up in their parking lot.
And now to quote “Seinfeld” during the episode about Kenny Rogers Roasters: “That’s not going to be good for business.”
“That’s not going to be good for anybody.”

#5
I loved the A-Team as a kid. Hell, maybe my first shoplifting experience involved ripping open a Mr. T action figure package and bogarting some of his weaponry.
That being said, I don’t think I can adequately describe how freaking stupid the new A-Team movie looks.

#6
If rumors are true and “24” is going off the air for good after this season, they’re certainly not holding back anything. In a scene that had to challenge the censors, Jack Bauer gives his hostage an awake stomach exam with a knife in order to retrieve a SIM card. And apparently, stomach acid has little effect on SIM cards, because it still worked. Kudos, Sprint!

#7
How is Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing different than San Diego’s Shawne Merriman? After it was announced that Cushing would receive a four-game suspension for failing a drug test, the AP decided to revote on the Defensive Rookie of the Year Award, which Cushing had won. After the 2005 season, Merriman won Defensive Rookie of the Year, even though he failed a drug test and was suspended for the first four games of 2006. He finished third in the Defensive Player of the Year voting after that season, sparking Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor, who won the award, to ask how a guy who was doing ‘roids could be eligible for such a reward.
What has changed since then?

#8
A few great recent references on “30 Rock”: a church called “Our Lady of Reluctant Integration” and a product called Pajamaralls -- yup, a Snuggie knockoff that combines pajamas and overalls. Love it.

#9
I consider myself very open-minded when it comes to social media channels and emerging social networking platforms. But I just can't shake the opinion that FourSquare is really, really fucking stupid.

#10
Huge ups to former NC State golfer Timmy Clark. Recently dogged by criticism that he’s the best player never to have won a PGA event (although nearly $15 million in career earnings isn’t a bad consolation prize), all he did was go out and win the freaking Players Championship, the so-called “fifth major.” Powered by a mesmerizing four-birdie-in-a-row streak in the middle of his final round, he came from behind and drained a clutch eight-footer to prove he wouldn’t be denied on this day.
Great “W” for T.C., and one that was celebrated throughout Wolfpack Nation.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: Kickin’ It OBX Style, Plus Fond Farewell To Three Survivors

A year celebrated down in Nags Head
A vacation to prep for what’s ahead
Bodie Lighthouse was under repair
The aquarium was pretty fair
Ube’s first trip to the beach where we wed

(why there was no Limerick Friday last week)

The hopes of a program changed overnight
A trio arriving with talent top-flight
A city’s been waiting on the edge
Now Pack Nation, come in off that ledge
C.J. Leslie, welcome to the Red and White

Ernie Harwell was quite a find
Out of sight but not out of mind
They say nothing good will last
A voice of baseball has passed
Detroit and the sport lost one of a kind

How low can a team go?
Ask Dez Bryant if his mom’s a ho
The Dolphins are missing some class
Jeff Ireland is a pompous ass
Lots to apologize for in Miami, dontcha know

“I’m with him,” said Jack
As the smoke monster did attack
Then a bomb blew the sub sky high
To Sayid, Jin and Sun we said goodbye
That made it dusty in here, that’s a fac’

Last time …

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 15

#1
Florida coach Urban Meyer, who retired for like six hours because he was stressed, has found creative new ways to not avoid stress in his life. Apparently, he took his time off to enroll in the Nick the Prick Satan School of Influencing Media And Berating Reporters. This time, Not Really That Urban thought he would threaten a reporter for using a quote from a Gators player about Tim Tebow not being a “real quarterback.” First of all, the kid said the quote, not the reporter—maybe, just maybe, you may want to discuss it with him? And second, you’re the reason Tebow is not considered a “real” quarterback, by the way.
So gimme a fucking break, you fraud. Why don’t you just retire for another hour and catch your breath?

#2
My daughter got bit at school the other day. The next day I sent her into her class with a shiv tucked discreetly into her tiny pink sock.
That’s how we roll on the North Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.

#3
Overheard at work as part of the worst segue ever:
This guy: “Dude, you know what’s sweet about having a gay hairstylist?”
Me: [stunned silence]
Me: “Um … no, I can’t say that I do.”
This guy: “They send you texts that refer to you as ‘Sunshine.’”
I’m not going to ask why your fairy hairstylist is sending you text messages. And I’m sure as hell not going to ask why they include the word “Sunshine” in any context.

#4
Tremendous story developing at Butler, where 12-year-old coach Brad Stevens has led the Bulldogs to the Final Four, which will be held seven miles from Butler’s campus. The dude looks young enough to convince you that this has all been staged as part of secretly filming “Little Big League 2.”

#5
Serious question: Are stabbings becoming more in vogue instead of shootings because knives are cheaper in this economy?

#6
Let me get this straight: Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington tests positive for cocaine, and because he confessed to it prior to his drug test coming back positive, there is no punishment whatsoever? I’m no lawyer, but aren’t we suspending guys for huge portions of seasons for what could be argued is taking the wrong kind of vitamin? I’m having a difficult time with this one, MLB.

#7
Was watching Saturday morning cartoons with Ube and “Tom & Jerry” came on. It took a very short amount of time for me to be mortified … I had little to no recollection that much of the plot surrounded Tom chasing everyone around with a shotgun, blasting away. Jeezus. Where’s the remote?

#8
So Joey Porter interferes with the police arresting his boy in a Taco Bell parking lot, slaps a cop’s hand, rolls his window up in cop’s face, then refuses to comply with orders to lay on the ground at gunpoint? Talk about putting your life on the line for a fucking chalupa. Where’s Taco Bell Denise to give you a “special deal” on not getting your ass shot for being a goddam ‘tard?
Welcome to my list of Players Who I Hope Suffer Serious Injury Soon.

#9
Are Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds the best snack ever? Discuss.

#10
It was comical to see not-black-enough-to-pull-it-off Nolan Smith get into a shoving match with a Baylor player at the end of Duke’s Elite Eight game with the Bears. His facial expression when he realized who he was dealing with, just before he began backpedaling, was priceless. Nolan, you’re a nice player and I know you want to show that Dookies can be “tough,” but you want none of a fracas with a team whose players kill each other.
[Too soon?]

To Ube From Cup A Joe, Volume VIII

Love's In A Name ...

Ever Ube to me
Yet others
Always
My own tiny Puddin’ Pop
A Wriggle Monkey who wriggles nonstop
Our own Little Miss Peanut, ‘tis true
A Fidget Monster with eyes so blue
A Booster Seat and my Mini-Scoot
A Toadstool with love at its root
A Dumplin’ on a Sunshine day
A Wee Buggin on a Gigdmo word play
A Tater Tot for a morning meal
Small Pants make all seem so real
A Tadpole under shade of night
A Punkin by dawn’s first light
Wee Britches in the day’s middle
Lunchtime for my Tiny Little
Big Girl in a smallish shirt
At Christmastime, a Tree Skirt
A Tidbit as time does fly
Ever after, our own Small Fry
Beautiful, Wee, Pretty, Tiny
Charmin(g) is the song of your hiney
Wee Loly Bean, when it’s time for a hug
A smile easily found, with thoughts of my Lola Bug

G'Lo's Another Brick In The Wall

Recently, we took Ube over the NC State Vet School because we had ordered a brick for Gallo and there was an indication online that it had been added to the brickyard near the Small Animal Hospital. We wanted to see the brick and show it to Ube as well.

However, upon arriving, we didn't see his brick in the area it was supposed to be in ... but we did find it in a stack of bricks leaning up against a statue. Since it was a bit brisk, I quickly took the brick and took a couple of pictures of it. We'll go back and see it when it is placed and Ube is a little bit older so she can meet G'Lo in her own little way.

To Ube From Cup A Joe, Volume VII

Speed and soar, languish and burn, I plod thru stretches and race thru mountains, me, us, three, wandering but on a found path, chosen but not selected, picked but not preferred, a life of second choices, an existence of do-overs, a world of informed decisions, me, sugar in my pocket, a tater tot for a heart, kicked into awakeness and lied into awareness, the tricks, the pleas, the games unplayed, cynicism unfurled, hope unleashed, memories unremembered, I walk on, wise man's burden, the former me walking in my shadow, who I was only yesterday, who I am a lurking tomorrow, so chase that mirage, pursue the brilliance, up around that bend isn't what you thought it was, because that music plays on another realm -- or plane?-- the realm I live in a barrier to sound, strong enough to bear, smart enough to release, but don't release, pile it on me, keep kicking my wakefulness, I carry all I need on my back and shoulders, this new shell has shed that other skin, in the pinprick of a heartbeat, so lo my optimism, lay down that cynic's heart, cast aside that ironic banner, it's me, who I always was and knew was always there, in that shadow, behind that other shadow, waiting for that perfect place in the valley, in the mountain, in the canyon, to step out into the light, my light, now only to carry it to this next place, where no shadows dwell where the light always shines, my light, my valley, my mountain, my canyon, my light, hear this feel this, it is, it must be, my light. My light.

To Ube From Cup A Joe, Volume VI

Listen. Always take the chance. Try not to second guess. Find an outlet for creativity. Learn how to conversate. Don't just wait until the other person stops talking; actively listen. Don't drink and drive. But drink. And become a good driver. Don't ever say "I wish" -- do it or forget it. Be fair to whoever you're with. Don't cheat; you'll never improve. Try to be amicable -- but remember that everything ends badly, or else it wouldn't end. Forgive, but don't forget. Sometimes it is OK to be bitter. Do something just for you every once in a while. Don't expect or chase credit; it only comes when you're not looking for it. Work hard. Inspiration comes in the unlikeliest of places and when you're not expecting it -- don't let it pass. Take advantage of it. Learn to spell well. Be thankful. Nothing takes you further than a handwritten note. Make yourself essential. Make eye contact. Be the person that you'd be drawn to. Don't give third chances. Remember that people don't ever really change—always remember this. You are going to like -- or even love -- more than one person at a time. There is nothing wrong with that that can't be solved with a decision. Be tender; be true. Always remember who you are -- even if you're not really sure -- because the only thing you have in this world is your name. Protect it with your life. Don't make excuses; come up with solutions. Usually it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Don't do anything halfway. Find at least one thing that you are truly passionate about. Try to find the instrument inside you. Music truly makes the world go 'round. Be artistic. Cultivate a sense or humor -- there are few things more important and few possessions more prized. Be political. Have an opinion. Take a stand. Vote. Develop a positive self-image. Don't measure yourself with anyone else's scale but your own. Disagree with your parents. But cherish them. Listen to a child's laugh sometimes. Look at things through a child's eyes sometimes. Sit outside whenever you can. Lose yourself in books as often as you can. Read. Not online, but something you can have and hold. Especially the classics. They are the foundation of our culture. Be bold. Laugh at yourself as often as at others. Accept constructive criticism. But defend yourself against criticism. Think whether this will be important in five years. Think in context. Find heroes. Believe in the unbelievable. Be a cynic. But never lose hope. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Be the one who reaches out. Fiercely protect your friends. One day you will wake up and realize that they are actually your family. Choose them wisely. Remember that who you're with is who you are. Do something you're not supposed to. But don't do it twice. Challenge yourself -- no one else might. You are never going to get anything you don't ask for. "No" isn't ever as bad as you think it will be. Laugh a lot. You can wonder, but limit that. If it becomes "if only," take action. You can change the world in you. Be a hero to one other person. Cry a lot. Pick something to really throw yourself into. Pick one thing every year that you'd like to learn about. Question the world. Raise your hand. Show your heart. Have a dog. They are the only thing in our world that loves you more than it loves itself. You can learn things you never knew existed simply by looking in their eyes. You can change yourself. Never give up. Be your own biggest fan. Ask for help. More people love you than you know. Love yourself first. Be able to turn it off. Be able to walk away. Be able to laugh it off. Be a person who talks to at least one other person they don't know at every party. Have a great toast memorized. Take relationships seriously. If you decide to be in one, be in one. If you think you like someone else, you're not in the relationship you think you're in anymore. Communicate. It's OK to move on. Your heart will be broken. You will break a heart. It's one more thing that isn't as important as it seems, except to show you you're alive. Be impulsive. Travel. Immerse. Stand in awe sometimes. Find a way to be spiritual. But not for anyone else -- for you. Spend time in quiet thought every day. Turn off the TV sometimes. Don't waste time very much -- maybe a little. Take a nap every now and again. Be open-minded. Don't let one person represent a culture. Learn about the world. Educate yourself. Be a skeptic. There's a reason the word "healthy" usually comes in front of "skepticism." Form your own opinions. Create your own conclusions. Go against the flow. Swim against the tide. Walk apart from the herd; be your own herd. Don't let others determine what you believe.

Directorial Gambles Pay Off As “Away We Go” Sweeps You Off Your Feet

Verona De Tessant: Burt, are we fuck-ups?
Burt Farlander: No! What do you mean?
Verona De Tessant: I mean, we're 34...
Burt Farlander: I'm 33.
Verona De Tessant: ...and we don't even have this basic stuff figured out.
Burt Farlander: Basic, like how?
Verona De Tessant: Basic, like how to live.
Burt Farlander: We're not fuck-ups.
Verona De Tessant: We have a cardboard window.
Burt Farlander: [Looks at window] We're not fuck-ups.
Verona De Tessant: [Whispers] I think we might be fuck-ups.
Burt Farlander: [Whispers back] We're not fuck-ups.

“Away We Go” was billed as an indy-ish flick, but apparently these days that only means it was released overseas and enjoyed only a limited release in the U.S. Any movie that has Kate Winslet’s husband, Sam Mendes, attached to it can’t quite be passed off an indy-like, but getting past that, this was a refreshing surprise. After all, Mendes has been the vehicle behind such depression-fests as “Reservation Road” and “American Beauty,” and while “Away We Go” was riddled with much of the modern cynicism that permeates those films, it offers up enough glimmers of hope and optimism to keep you keeping on.

From a directorial perspective, Mendes’s first big gamble was casting Jim from “The Office” (Jim Krasinski) and an SNL cast member (Maya Rudolph). Initially, Burt and Verona make for an awkward pairing and a seemingly forced attraction dynamic, but the pair as a team eventually wins you over. Catherine O’Hara and Allison Janney were tremendous in bit parts, as was the always-impressive Maggie Gyllenhaal. These were among the many friends and family members that Burt and the six-month-pregnant Verona meet along the way as they decide to search the country (and Canada) for the ideal place to bring up their child.

Along the way, Burt and Verona are shown many different ways to both raise a child and live as a family, and they begin to realize that their quest is becoming less of a search for where to live than a search for how to run their family. Their crazy journey takes them to many strange and eclectic places, including to amateur night at a strip club, where Burt’s friend Tom (Chris Messina) steals a scene with an emotional and tender stream-of-consciousness moment. And while they try to decide on where to live and how their family should be shaped, Burt keeps trying to convince Verona to marry him, to no avail.

And while much of the movie was certainly riddled with Mendes’s odd and occasionally depressing brand of film-making, it was also extremely funny as well -- quite a departure from most of Mendes’s flicks that I have seen. Throw in a great soundtrack and some touching scenes, and it’s easy to see why “Away We Go” was met with a lot of critical acclaim. On a personal level, as a recent father and husband who had and has many of the same natural questions and fears as Burt (and Verona), it certainly struck a chord, coming across as very poignant.

The ending could have come across as predictable and cheesy, but Mendes treated it with kid gloves, directing it carefully enough to make it work. With similar endings in other flicks, I would have been a bit turned off, but I have to admit that he somehow pulled it off -- and I couldn’t tell you how he managed that. I guess that’s why he gets paid the big bucks.

And while the treatment of the conclusion and rolling the dice on casting the main two characters without crapping out will define Mendes’s work on this film for me, I also have to applaud him for, in my opinion, actually taking a chance on himself. I suppose it would have been easy to continue down the directorial path he had been following, but he pushed himself to break out of that mold somewhat -- and the result was one of the more enjoyable films I’ve seen in a while.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXX: Hanukkah Harry Should Bring Lieberman A Heart, Plus What A Christmas To Remember

He’s the worst of all the cowardly men
Looked out for his own interests again
Was once a well-respected Hebrew
Then he pulled the party switcharoo
How do you sleep at night, Joe Lieberman?

Bobby Knight wonders about Kentucky
And why their coach leaves schools so unlucky
They get probation, he gets a Ferrari
That’s the life of John Calipari
Pretty bad when Knight calls your morals sucky

He’s leaving the Worldwide Leader
Says MLB Network is much neater
Gammons is the latest to flee
ESPN is becoming a joke, you see
Thanks for adding to their demise, Peter

Losing Brittany Murphy, a sad day
She was hot in her own quirky way
Chris Henry was too soon put to rest
But because of his many arrests
His wasn’t a surprising story, hate to say

Tracy Smith suspended for a game
For calling out the officiating as lame
He said what they didn’t want to hear
So he won’t get a call in his career
ACC refs are a cheating, embarrassing shame

These sad limericks are rather rough
So let’s get on to happier stuff
The first Christmas for my little Ube
Santa’s brought her a present or 23
Nothing for me -- one miracle present was enough

Last time …

To Ube From Cup A Joe, Volume V

"Soothen My Seether"

Life unfolds
Like a string of broken promises
You search for the pearl
Amidst the wreckage
You comb
Fine tooth
But poorly said
It’s the long road
But it’s the only path
Days become months
Become years
Become decades
Missing spots
And moments
Gone
Not forgotten
Some remembered
Tender melancholy
Drifted with harsh reality
I’ve seen you standing there
Obscured by impostors
In challenging times
Revealed in challenging climes
Who taught me to trust again?
Surrounded by essence
Purified by soul
In red times
I try to recall
What you were here for
Put by my side
In the unlikeliest of ways
Temperament through hope
Compassion through trust
Love through days
And through
This next chapter
A page turns
As does a life
Master the emotions
Calm the bile
Temper the tantrum
Reserve the rage
Anchor the anger
No room for it
In who I am
In who I hope to become
In who I need to emerge
Tested over and over
Shine through it all
Find the diamond
Amidst the coal
Polish me
Pressure me
Resolve me
Forge me
Make me
Imagine me
Look for me
I’ll be standing
Switched
And traded places
In the security
Love in four
Trust in womb
Pink and green
Override ride
Soften me
Make me like that
All the time
Not sometimes
Where there is no longer
Room for skips
Or air for hiccups
So be my soother
The beauty like no other
Has been replaced
By a true another
I’ll back you up
No reservations
No limitations
Open
Undefended
Not guarded
Caution in the wind
Like a dandelion
That’s real
And not hoped
Together with cobwebs
And holes
Believe in me
And I in you
Is all I’ll need
To help soothe
The seether
In me

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXVI: Abbreviated T-Bird Day Version

With so much going on and so much to think about, just a quickie here on the holiday …

Much to be thankful for
Another Thanksgiving in store
As State prepares for their gay rival
Thoughts out to Coach Bible
And we couldn’t love Ube more

Last time …

Have a great holiday everyone!

To Ube From Cup A Joe, Vol. IV

“A Shore Unseen”

A seashore shaped
By tides unseen
Grains shift
Shells collide
Bubbles grow
Combine
Burst
Make way
That shore
Never the same
From one moment
To the next
In an instant
A new entity
A different landscape
A changed home
They say light
Is like water
And water
Is like love
Do you know
What all of that means
Curled
Inside
You can come out of that shell
To a different seashore
Put your toe in
After all
I’ll always remind you
Water is like love
Is like light
So grab your paddle
And point
To a welcoming shore

“The Happiest Baby on the Block” Says “Colic, Schmolic”

Apparently, peaceful bliss is yours, as long as you don’t mind putting your newborn in a straitjacket. According to Dr. Harvey Karp and his book “The Happiest Baby on the Block,” the keys to making it through the mysterious “fourth trimester” and helping your kid channel their inner “calming reflex” boils down to the five S’s:

1. Swaddling
2. Side/Stomach Position
3. Shushing
4. Swinging
5. Sucking

Now, I’m certainly not a doctor, I didn’t stay in a Holiday Inn Express and I probably don’t want to don’t know how it works, but it does. Hell, it seems to put infants under some kind of spell or some shit. And Dr. Karp certainly doesn’t need my endorsement since he already has Pierce Brosnan and Madonna throwing love his way, but I can vouch for him. Faced with a 4 a.m. decision between a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a swaddle, I can safely say that I now reach for the swaddle—and in my world, there is no higher praise.

What started out as a rather scary read turned out to be some type of new-Dad gospel.

All hail the Fetus Whisperer.