Her marriage ends in two years
A good run for celebrity peers
To dear Scarlett I say
Don’t trust Canadians … eh?
I’m happy to wipe away those tears
SMU cheated every way under the sun
But you know, at least they won
Are they listening in Chapel Hill today?
Or rearranging the Carolina Way?
Craig James was a douche, then he raised a douche son
Julian Assange is free on bail
His arrest was an epic fail
They’ve created a monster in WikiLeaks
Behind the curtains, we’re getting secret peeks
Hackers now united to keep him outta jail
Snow has come Raleigh way
But slushy, so no fun to play
Folks flock to the Teeter for milk
Rough driving for ‘necks and their ilk
Just say inside, that’s what I say
The Jets add cheating to the mix
Trip other players for kicks
While ESPN applauds
They’re exposed as frauds
Send their lapband-wearing coach to the sticks
Last time …
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