Friday, December 19, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXI: “Newsroom” Fades To Black, Plus Patience During The Holidays

Three seasons of “Newsroom”
They went by in a zoom
Through all the drama of right and wrong
It was about Charlie Skinner, all along
Sorkin tricked those who assume

After the Dolphins reach another low
Everyone but the owner seems to know
It’s time to press restart again
In pursuit of a playoff win
So sorry, but Joe has to go

Jax kissed a Mac truck grill
Ending the “Sons of Anarchy” thrill
A show with enormous holes
But it dragged you over the coals
Cartoonish but engrossing still

He’s the emo QB
Moodier than a child of 3
His whiny face smolders
In the City of Big Shoulders
Cutler ain’t cuttin’ it, ya see?

Traffic beyond reason
At work, no appeasin’
Yet the lights twinkle merry
The kids are excited, very
So grin and say, “‘Tis the season”

Last time

Friday, December 05, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXI: The Commish With The Horseshoe Anal Implant, Plus Beth Shuffles Off The TWD Immortal Coil

Another playoff trip. oh boy

By using every owner ploy
But Shamrock used all his luck
Had me saying, “What the fuck?!”
Knocked out by goddam Colt McCoy?!

Playoff hopes barely alive
Thanks to a Geno Smith drive
Pushed around by the Jets
Escaped at the end, you bets
For consistency, we do strive

Down by five TDs
Still talking trash incessantly
Or maybe it was just Swahili
Expected better, silly me
Cheaters won’t be humbled, don’t you see

Lined up and punched ‘em in the face
Added to the cheaters disgrace
Hit ‘em until they quit
Then rubbed their face in the shit
The Pack took over the whole place
Impromptu lullabies
And anime eyes
With a shot to the head
Innocence lost on “Walking Dead”
For Beth, a fanbase cries

Friday, November 21, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVX: That Time O’ The Fantasy Year, Plus “Homeland” Jumps The Jihadi

 A breath away from 7-3
‘Til the Bears stole it from me
Another week, another brutal beat
Just rinse and repeat
Bad luck returning untimely

After shite beyond reason
Final game of the season
Have to get off the snide
And halt an unlucky slide
For a playoff spot to be seizin’

Lots of oversharing and talkin’
Before Carol got nailed jaywalkin’
Noah, a convenient addition
In true TWD tradition
Now Daryl is hospital stalkin’

Across the Rockies they sore
To take on a stiff-necked stat whore
The Dolphins a sorta surprise
Can they avoid a late-season demise?
Squarely in the race at 6-4
Carrie got dosed down the rabbit hole
But she uncovered the mole
Saul want HAM
In Afghanistan
“Homeland,” you make me so droll

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 73

My life and the world at large is in desperate need of Seinfeld emojis. Smarty techie types, please make this happen.

Tony Dungy as the NFL’s moral authority, as I’ve said repeatedly, is a bad joke

This is a crying baby video phone ad that kicks you right in the feels.

I was in this position not all that long ago. But I couldn’t nail this level of honesty in a job interview. Priceless.

Documentary filmmaker Ken Burns and actor Dave Foley look shockingly alike. They both also kind of look like Ellen Degeneres, but that’s neither here nor there.

Senator Whitehouse of Rhode Island is my new hero, destroying reality climate deniers.

I like “The League,” I really do. But their insistence on including the Rafi and Randy storyline goes beyond bizarre to out-and-out stupidity. I’ve never turned off one of these episodes halfway through until one about Rafi and Randy comes on, because they’re routinely unfunny, pointless, and non-football-related. [/rant over]

I want to join this bank. I mean, maybe I really don’t, but still. They were cool before they were illegal.

I’m not sure it’s really possible to describe how awful a broadcaster Boomer Esiason is. Wow.

So let me get this straight: One of the greatest rock bands in the history of music gives away music for free (and one of their best albums in years, it should be noted), and the reaction is offended outrage? Think about that for a minute.

Judging by the response of a new U2 album landing on the iTunes front page, you would have thought that Bono was going around stealing people’s kidneys in the middle of the night. Welcome to the new world of faux entitlement and fabricated sensibility, ladies and gentlemen.

Friday, November 07, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIX: A Melancholy Farewell to “Boardwalk Empire,” Plus Ignorance Sweeps The Vote

Intense, engrossing and clever
Predictable? No, never
Nucky doomed by greed and talk
To die along the boardwalk
One of the best of all-times and ever

Capone bid his son goodbye
There was something in my eye
Narcisse erased by Lucky’s armory
Jimmy’s son avenged the Darmodys
On “Boardwalk Empire,” all must die

Oh, what a happy November
First league win I can remember
Finally didn’t need an excuse
To take down Syracuse
The Pack now a functioning ACC member?

About the Scooters you could say
They sort of find a way
Moving to 6-3
Treading water carefully
‘Til Mathews and Gordon play

A dark day for you and me
As well as for democracy
Senate lost to bigoted thieves
Almost hard to believes
Land of the ignorant but free

Friday, October 31, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIX: Avenging The Bob-Kabob, Plus The ‘Fins Stumble Across The .500 Mark

The cannibals hacked apart
After they made Bob depart
But some left for D.C. Loop
You never split up the group!
The season off to a rousing start

Seems like a likeable-enough guy
And Dave Doeren really does try
But cooked-up stats on youth
Is a little bit uncouth
For Pack football, excuses never go on bye

Good gracious alive
Wee Ube’s five
Where does the time go
Mo’s proud, don’t you know
Not ready for girlhood to arrive

By the hair of my chinny-chin-chin
A most necessary win
Sitting at 5-3
The Scooters hopefully
Get a playoff push to begin
Playing the dreadful Jags
The offense made me gags
The D bailed them out
And made it a rout
At 4-3, optimism still lags

Friday, October 24, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: Accountability Not Worth A Chapel Hill Of Beans, Plus TWD Asks “What About Bob?”

Cheating on an epic scale
Others in comparison pale
Teflon Roy said, “Dadgum, I didn’t know”
As UNC administrators say, “Uh-oh
Integrity long ago set sail

Spirals instead of prayers
Scampering like Sayers
Tannehill looked like a winner
And an actual football spinner
As the ‘Fins pounded the Bears

The annual swoon does begin
The Scooters denied a win
Vernon Davis and Fitz
Both playing like shits
Cost me in a tight one again

Brandon Marshall, always a bit strange
Wide is his bipolar range
It’s easy to be healed
When you’re winning on the field
But a leopard’s spots don’t change

They’re calling it to the Bob-B-Q
Randomly walk off, this happens to you
Gabriel gives me the creeps
Plot lines are taking leaps
TWD, a faster pace is working, too