Friday, June 24, 2016

Limerick Friday #406: LeBron Resuscitates Believeland, Plus Dustin Johnson Shoots His IQ To Win

Curry deserves many blames
As the Warriors went up in flames
The mistake by the lake
A trophy they did take
Thanks to mercurial King James

A trek through southern lands
In search of Legos and white sands
Fueled by coffee and water fizz
Discovered South Carolina is
Just kudzu and fireworks stands

The king of the summer
Pulled off another stunner
State with another coup
To team with Dennis Smith and Abu
Recruiting anything but a bummer

I admit from the start
I’m a pessimist at heart
But after years of losing
Can’t help musing
That I’m optimistic about the ‘Fins, in part

At Oakmont he drove it pure
While others couldn’t be sure
A real fiend for coke
A skeeve who used to choke
Dustin Johnson, finally a major on tour

Friday, June 10, 2016

Limerick Friday #405: Navigating The Brutal World of GOT, Plus Pack9 Continues To Be Snakebitten

 Intrigue and sly crones
Incest and dragon stones
I’m late to the game
But understand its fame
All hail “Game of Thrones”

A polarizing figure, you see
Could sure sting like a bee
Brought trash talk to sports
With the media held courts
RIP, Muhammad Ali

A new site has arrived
Along with awards contrived
A slight improvement we laud
Cake selfies for a proven fraud
Blame passed as she shucked and jived

Injuries have besets
The water-treading Mets
Pitching keeping them alive
As batting averages dive
Get healthy and start raking, lets

Fought for several rainy days
And made many clutch plays
But when it came to do it
Pack baseball blew it
In the most NC State of ways

Friday, May 27, 2016

Limerick Friday #404: Frightened Rabbit Lays Siege To Saxapahaw, Plus Baseball Used Well-Thrown Punch To Get Mildly Exciting

From Scotland to Saxapahaw
One of the best concerts I ever saw
A set list to make you shiver
Tore up all of Haw River
Frightened Rabbit left me in awe

Under pretty high stakes
Some key recruiting takes
All of a sudden the Pack
Looks a little stacked
The difference a month makes

A strong Wyoming lass
The epitome of class
Left a legacy of grace
And plenty of Vogies in place
As a beloved Grandma did pass

Beat every foe on his plate
Took home the Players late
Even without his best game
Jason Day cruised with no shame
Well-played as always, mate
On their shoulders they had a chip
Thanks to Bautista’s bat flip
So the next time they had a look
Made him eat a right hook
Odor made him eat meals with a sip

Friday, May 06, 2016

Limerick Friday #403: Feeling A Windy City Draft, Plus HBO Saves TV Season Again

Gas mask bong for the win
Laremy Tunsil now a ‘Fin
But the rest of the picks
Full of head-scratching risks
Ask me in three years again

“Veep” and “Silicon Valley,” reborn
It’s kinda like Christmas morn
A coupla smash hits
To cure network TV’s shits
Best comedies on air, I’ve sworn

It’s the NFL Draft
The mediocre’s life raft
So when in Chitown
Wear this like a crown:
“Please ‘Fins, don’t be daft”

Beer you can’t nurse
Run through every curse
You mumble Ned Ginn
And say, “Never again”
And then you watch something worse

“Twin Peaks” meets “The Killing”
“Top of the Lake” is quite thrilling
The detective, “Mad Men’s” Peggy
The atmosphere quite heavy
Early on, both creepy and chilling

Friday, April 22, 2016

Limerick Friday #402: The British Overrun Augusta, Plus “Vinyl” Turns Finale Up To 11

 For all those who had a golf hanker
The Masters went to a wanker
Danny Willett a great story
But no Day, Johnson, or Rory
Spieth reacted like a pissy banker

As spinoffs goes
“Fear the Walking Dead” kinda blows
Have always liked Kim Dickens
The rest of cast lame chickens
Like a made-for-TV movie shows

Miami’s got needs and musts
For their annual festival of busts
The offseason quietly good
Can they draft like they should?
Or leave me head-shaking and cussed

John Oliver is an heir
To the genius of Colbert
Meticulous details
With laughter regales
Cross him only if you dare
A memorable “Vinyl” finale
Richie with a nice little rally
The Nasty Bits rock
Boosting Alibi stock
Season 2 should be interesting, pally

Friday, April 08, 2016

Limerick Friday #401: “The Walking Dead” Whimpers Into The Offseason, Plus Augusta Takes Over The Sports Stage

Once a pulse-pounding show
Is quickly losing mojo
Negan with his Lucille banger
Reduced by a needless cliffhanger
TWD is losing audience as they go

Goodbye to the Martin twins
As the Pack roster thins
A crossroads time for Gott
As his seat starts to get hot
Only way out is recruiting and wins

“Vinyl” has made the leap
Digging into issues deep
From race to religion to murder
The writers keep pushing it further
Makes you laugh, dance, and weep

A dramatic buzzer beater
Fans cried at Harris Teeter
Quite a run, but now it’s ovah
The year belonged to Villanova
Karma for each and every cheater
The morning dew is clear
Green grass that could bring a tear
Magnolias scent the air
The vision of a golf love affair
Masters means spring’s truly here

Friday, March 25, 2016

Limerick Friday #400: A Milestone Friday, Plus The Underwoods Resort To The Lowest Levels

From an MSI blast back in time
To poems about SEO sublime
The 400th week of this
Limericks that laugh and diss
Now my Fridays all rhyme

A year that was no vacation
The Pack reduced to low station
A season with no safe harbor
Made bearable by Cat Barber
Many thanks from Wolfpack Nation

Another season petering out
A whimper instead of a shout
Doctor Denise, a tough loss
But a crossroads they have to cross
Negin is now lurking about

Pro Bowls he once earned
‘Til he got old and burned
A pint-sized corner with hops
And a ratchet who never stops
Brent Grimes, marriage lesson learned

A Presidency in shards
With no corruption guards
Starting a war
For distraction and more
That’s the season of “House of Cards”