Friday, October 06, 2017

Limerick Friday #437: Tom Petty Passing Got Me Free-Fallin’, Plus Fantasy Got Me Bobbin’ And Weavin’

Vegas hit us all in the mouth
Reflecting an America uncouth
Then Tom Petty died
And every music fan cried
Especially those of us “Down South”

Jitters made me want to heave
Penalties made me want to leave
But amidst all the elation
I ask you Wolfpack Nation
Are you finally ready to believe?

A racist dotard pile of blah
Has made us the world’s pariah
Ignored his own citizens in need
Threw them toilet paper indeed
This is who are now, America fuck yeah

One woman lived only on bread fat
To her, other ones kinda fed that
From a place that didn’t know comms
To one rife with pom-poms
Culture shock, thy name is Red Hat

A league with ever-changing rules
Filled with no-trading fools
A 14-team stalwart once
Now it’s like third-down punts
Fantasy football, a kick in the jewels

Friday, September 08, 2017

Limerick Friday #436: Biff Doeren Dashes Hopes Again, Plus “Man In The High Castle” Provides A Welcome Surprise

Football expectations did rightly soar
Stop me if you’ve heard this before
For a half, State lived up to the rap
At halftime, Doeren took a nap
A Pack implosion was unsurprisingly in store

Ineptitude in the rear view
Abandoning the uncreative milieu
On to a real place
With real roles and pace
Putting on a Red Hat is my cue

The best we can’t always keep
For a show that made a comedy leap
Seven seasons will have to suffice
Of satire and irony cold as ice
One more season for the impeccable “Veep”

A fantasy draft from an odd spot
Just OK with what I got
Dudes nabbed just before my pick
Coaching will have to do the trick
In Season 20, this is my lot

The acting is surprisingly first rate
Depicting a world run by hate
“Man in the High Castle” is searing
The plotlines complex but endearing
Maybe, just maybe, it’s even kind of great

Last time

Friday, September 01, 2017

Limerick Friday #435: Feeling All The “Game Of Thrones” Feelings, Plus The Beach Launchpad

A zombie dragon took down the Wall
White Walkers on the long haul
Jon Snow sexing his aunt
Littlefinger no longer around to haunt
It’s a long wait ‘til the final season, y’all

Could it really be season 20?
Fantasy questions aplenty
A new year at our front door
The Scooters are back for more
A fair shake from Lady Luck for me?

Mid-life crises abound
Neuroses by the pound
No-talent hacks
Work only for snacks
Just as pathetic as it sounds

Offensive line in shambles
Setting up Cutler scrambles
Linebackers make you cringe
Maxwell always get singed
On new faces Miami gambles

Missed out on visiting Chip’s
But got to see an eclipse
As changes lie in store
Soul healing at the shore
It’s always my favorite of trips

Friday, August 11, 2017

Limerick Friday #434: Smokin’ Jay Arrives In South Beach, Plus GOT Went Dragon Nuclear

Training camp has been bloody
Now the roster’s a bit muddy
But the Emo Cannon is on the way
And I just have to say
Welcome to Miami, Cutty

Here are the dog days of summer
Work is an embarrassing bummer
Swim team is finally done
A ton of teaching was done
Now for a job that doesn’t make me feel dumber

Ajayi got nailed
Now the J-Train’s derailed
Lost a starting guard
Then Tanny went down hard
I think this training camp failed

They attract every ignorant fool
Tried to make cheating cool
Put basketball on football gear
Of irony, they never did hear
UNC, quite a football school

Snow still won’t bend his knees
Dany sent dragons in threes
Drogon lit up the Lannisters
With some whoop-ass canisters
Jamie’s now Jason Vorhees

Friday, August 04, 2017

"Ghosts Of The Arctic"


Friday, July 21, 2017

Limerick Friday #433: “Game Of Thrones” Returns Sets Social Media On Fire, Plus Roger Federer Are You Serious

Cersei running out of ways to go
Samwell tries to help Jon Snow
Sansa stunning to aspire
Arya a mercenary not for hire
Daenerys, how I’ve missed you so

The Hound, an attack of the feels
Bran reaches the wall and then heels
The White Walkers on the implacable march
Beric has an undying parch
GOT’s return made my mind reels

All of Westeros under attack
Of intrigue and drama, no lack
The Red Woman haunts my dreams
Even as evil as it seems
Melisandre, I need you back

A tailspin for the Metsies means
A fire sale coming to Queens
How much for a pitcher with the gout?
Or an old shortstop who only makes outs
Would settle for an old mitt and beans

Each backhand was rightly smote
For Cilic that was all she wrote
Roger Federer put the greatest stamp
On being Wimbledon’s greatest champ
Forever the motherf’ing GOAT