Friday, August 11, 2017

Limerick Friday #434: Smokin’ Jay Arrives In South Beach, Plus GOT Went Dragon Nuclear

Training camp has been bloody
Now the roster’s a bit muddy
But the Emo Cannon is on the way
And I just have to say
Welcome to Miami, Cutty

Here are the dog days of summer
Work is an embarrassing bummer
Swim team is finally done
A ton of teaching was done
Now for a job that doesn’t make me feel dumber

Ajayi got nailed
Now the J-Train’s derailed
Lost a starting guard
Then Tanny went down hard
I think this training camp failed

They attract every ignorant fool
Tried to make cheating cool
Put basketball on football gear
Of irony, they never did hear
UNC, quite a football school

Snow still won’t bend his knees
Dany sent dragons in threes
Drogon lit up the Lannisters
With some whoop-ass canisters
Jamie’s now Jason Vorhees

Friday, August 04, 2017

"Ghosts Of The Arctic"


Friday, July 21, 2017

Limerick Friday #433: “Game Of Thrones” Returns Sets Social Media On Fire, Plus Roger Federer Are You Serious

Cersei running out of ways to go
Samwell tries to help Jon Snow
Sansa stunning to aspire
Arya a mercenary not for hire
Daenerys, how I’ve missed you so

The Hound, an attack of the feels
Bran reaches the wall and then heels
The White Walkers on the implacable march
Beric has an undying parch
GOT’s return made my mind reels

All of Westeros under attack
Of intrigue and drama, no lack
The Red Woman haunts my dreams
Even as evil as it seems
Melisandre, I need you back

A tailspin for the Metsies means
A fire sale coming to Queens
How much for a pitcher with the gout?
Or an old shortstop who only makes outs
Would settle for an old mitt and beans

Each backhand was rightly smote
For Cilic that was all she wrote
Roger Federer put the greatest stamp
On being Wimbledon’s greatest champ
Forever the motherf’ing GOAT

Friday, July 14, 2017

Limerick Friday #432: “Mr. Robot” Takes Summer By Storm, Plus Tales Of Failure

A couple years late
But I crashed the gate
To the Mr. Robot cult
It’s hit me like a bolt
For the next episode I can’t wait

Any postseason prospects are fake
There are no moves to make
Injuries struck them cold
Lots of vets just got old
This is the Mets at the All-Star break

Hiefers in clown pants
Harpies with inane rants
A brooch of a pork rind potlatch
A French fry feed bag to match
Deal only in won’ts and can’ts

Lost without or with
Success was only a myth
Wasted a year at State
Gott still stalks him to date
Have a nice NBA life, Dennis Smith

Season three ended pretty dire
Everything going up in fire
“Better Call Saul” a triumph in force
We’re sneaking up, of course
To where “Breaking Bad” touches the wire

Friday, June 23, 2017

Limerick Friday #431: “Twin Peaks” Returns With More Loony-Ness Than Ever, Plus A National Soap Opera About Cheetos And Vodka

David Lynch’s world of freaks
Has undergone a few tweaks
Still delightfully nuts
With quarter-century-old jump cuts
Welcome back, you zany “Twin Peaks”

Through all the Big Apple noise
The injury bug still toys
With the Mets, for whom I fear
It’s gonna be wait ‘til next year
It just ain’t happenin’, boys

A plot line kind of in shards
Against ridiculousness it guards
But Frank Underwood seems OK
Compared to the batshits of today
I can’t quit you, “House of Cards”

Usually the U.S. Open
Involves lotsa hittin’ and hopin’
But Brooks Koepka destroyed
And the field really toyed
With a course that required no copin’

On democracy we’ve taken a dump
As James Comey was put on the stump
At some point, John McCain
Went senile or insane
Reality TV in the era of Trump

Friday, June 09, 2017

Limerick Friday #430: “The Leftovers” Leaves A Gaping Hole In Dramatic TV, Leaving Even Carrie Matheson In Tears

The end of a remarkable show
Pulled where it wanted us to go
He searched the world like Dora
Said, “People hold candles, Nora.”
“The Leftovers” super-charged TV with its flow

Choked when they were sitting pretty
In a backwater Kentucky city
The Pack had it all in its sight
‘Til the baseball gods gave State a smite
Let me know if you’ve heard this ditty

When ignorance goes viral
And things start to spiral
I slow my flow
And think of Mo
I just might still be in denial

Summer is upon us, indeed
Time away is what I need
School has drawn to a close
Work’s full of incompetent hoes
Need a week just to drink and read

Despite a glacial pace
Ended up in a Trumpian space
A slow-moving “Homeland” season
Overly complex beyond reason
It all gave me Carrie Matheson face