Friday, July 22, 2016

Limerick Friday #408: Stenson Puts On A Show For The Ages, Plus Another Monster Of The Midway Bids Adieu

Royal Troon set the scene
A British Open more gray than green
Mickelson threw darts all week
But Stenson was at an impossible peak
The best major Sunday I’ve seen

All the pitchers find harm
The Mets don’t have a live arm
Setback after setback it seems
That would ruin any teams
Is Jesse Orosco still down on the farm?

Cleveland is a dump
An apt site for Trump
The GOP is in shambles
As this moron rambles
Might as well vote for Forrest Gump

At RB, they needed a vet
So they searched for what they could get
Arian Foster is now in the fold
A lot injured and slightly old
But maybe he’ll surprise us yet

Forced turnovers by the bunch
Even ate Randy Moss’s lunch
A Bear legend, no doubt
Charles Tillman, on his way out
How about a final Peanut Punch?

Friday, July 08, 2016

Limerick Friday #407: Brexit Is A Thing That Actually Happened, Plus Durant Takes Easy Way Out

Ignorance triumphs
With racist harrumphs
Brexit in the UK
What have we done, they say
Here come the politics of Drumpf

State’s lifeboat rafted
Cat Barber got shafted
He went unchosen
Another Pack hopeful frozen
Gottfried needs someone to get drafted

Classes by a monitor glow
Learning is going slow
Digital marketing at Duke
Blue makes me want to puke
But forward is the only way to go

Discord throughout the land
As consistency does disband
I scream to the identity guide
With frustration I can’t hide
Whither the integrity of brand
KD flew the coop
Joining the Golden State troop
The Thunder now up in smoke
The NBA, kind of a joke
More money, less competitive hoops

Friday, June 24, 2016

Limerick Friday #406: LeBron Resuscitates Believeland, Plus Dustin Johnson Shoots His IQ To Win

Curry deserves many blames
As the Warriors went up in flames
The mistake by the lake
A trophy they did take
Thanks to mercurial King James

A trek through southern lands
In search of Legos and white sands
Fueled by coffee and water fizz
Discovered South Carolina is
Just kudzu and fireworks stands

The king of the summer
Pulled off another stunner
State with another coup
To team with Dennis Smith and Abu
Recruiting anything but a bummer

I admit from the start
I’m a pessimist at heart
But after years of losing
Can’t help musing
That I’m optimistic about the ‘Fins, in part

At Oakmont he drove it pure
While others couldn’t be sure
A real fiend for coke
A skeeve who used to choke
Dustin Johnson, finally a major on tour

Friday, June 10, 2016

Limerick Friday #405: Navigating The Brutal World of GOT, Plus Pack9 Continues To Be Snakebitten

 Intrigue and sly crones
Incest and dragon stones
I’m late to the game
But understand its fame
All hail “Game of Thrones”

A polarizing figure, you see
Could sure sting like a bee
Brought trash talk to sports
With the media held courts
RIP, Muhammad Ali

A new site has arrived
Along with awards contrived
A slight improvement we laud
Cake selfies for a proven fraud
Blame passed as she shucked and jived

Injuries have besets
The water-treading Mets
Pitching keeping them alive
As batting averages dive
Get healthy and start raking, lets

Fought for several rainy days
And made many clutch plays
But when it came to do it
Pack baseball blew it
In the most NC State of ways

Friday, May 27, 2016

Limerick Friday #404: Frightened Rabbit Lays Siege To Saxapahaw, Plus Baseball Used Well-Thrown Punch To Get Mildly Exciting

From Scotland to Saxapahaw
One of the best concerts I ever saw
A set list to make you shiver
Tore up all of Haw River
Frightened Rabbit left me in awe

Under pretty high stakes
Some key recruiting takes
All of a sudden the Pack
Looks a little stacked
The difference a month makes

A strong Wyoming lass
The epitome of class
Left a legacy of grace
And plenty of Vogies in place
As a beloved Grandma did pass

Beat every foe on his plate
Took home the Players late
Even without his best game
Jason Day cruised with no shame
Well-played as always, mate
On their shoulders they had a chip
Thanks to Bautista’s bat flip
So the next time they had a look
Made him eat a right hook
Odor made him eat meals with a sip

Friday, May 06, 2016

Limerick Friday #403: Feeling A Windy City Draft, Plus HBO Saves TV Season Again

Gas mask bong for the win
Laremy Tunsil now a ‘Fin
But the rest of the picks
Full of head-scratching risks
Ask me in three years again

“Veep” and “Silicon Valley,” reborn
It’s kinda like Christmas morn
A coupla smash hits
To cure network TV’s shits
Best comedies on air, I’ve sworn

It’s the NFL Draft
The mediocre’s life raft
So when in Chitown
Wear this like a crown:
“Please ‘Fins, don’t be daft”

Beer you can’t nurse
Run through every curse
You mumble Ned Ginn
And say, “Never again”
And then you watch something worse

“Twin Peaks” meets “The Killing”
“Top of the Lake” is quite thrilling
The detective, “Mad Men’s” Peggy
The atmosphere quite heavy
Early on, both creepy and chilling

Friday, April 22, 2016

Limerick Friday #402: The British Overrun Augusta, Plus “Vinyl” Turns Finale Up To 11

 For all those who had a golf hanker
The Masters went to a wanker
Danny Willett a great story
But no Day, Johnson, or Rory
Spieth reacted like a pissy banker

As spinoffs goes
“Fear the Walking Dead” kinda blows
Have always liked Kim Dickens
The rest of cast lame chickens
Like a made-for-TV movie shows

Miami’s got needs and musts
For their annual festival of busts
The offseason quietly good
Can they draft like they should?
Or leave me head-shaking and cussed

John Oliver is an heir
To the genius of Colbert
Meticulous details
With laughter regales
Cross him only if you dare
A memorable “Vinyl” finale
Richie with a nice little rally
The Nasty Bits rock
Boosting Alibi stock
Season 2 should be interesting, pally