Friday, April 22, 2016

Limerick Friday #402: The British Overrun Augusta, Plus “Vinyl” Turns Finale Up To 11



 For all those who had a golf hanker
The Masters went to a wanker
Danny Willett a great story
But no Day, Johnson, or Rory
Spieth reacted like a pissy banker

As spinoffs goes
“Fear the Walking Dead” kinda blows
Have always liked Kim Dickens
The rest of cast lame chickens
Like a made-for-TV movie shows

Miami’s got needs and musts
For their annual festival of busts
The offseason quietly good
Can they draft like they should?
Or leave me head-shaking and cussed

John Oliver is an heir
To the genius of Colbert
Meticulous details
With laughter regales
Cross him only if you dare
 
A memorable “Vinyl” finale
Richie with a nice little rally
The Nasty Bits rock
Boosting Alibi stock
Season 2 should be interesting, pally



Friday, April 08, 2016

Limerick Friday #401: “The Walking Dead” Whimpers Into The Offseason, Plus Augusta Takes Over The Sports Stage



Once a pulse-pounding show
Is quickly losing mojo
Negan with his Lucille banger
Reduced by a needless cliffhanger
TWD is losing audience as they go

Goodbye to the Martin twins
As the Pack roster thins
A crossroads time for Gott
As his seat starts to get hot
Only way out is recruiting and wins

“Vinyl” has made the leap
Digging into issues deep
From race to religion to murder
The writers keep pushing it further
Makes you laugh, dance, and weep

A dramatic buzzer beater
Fans cried at Harris Teeter
Quite a run, but now it’s ovah
The year belonged to Villanova
Karma for each and every cheater
 
The morning dew is clear
Green grass that could bring a tear
Magnolias scent the air
The vision of a golf love affair
Masters means spring’s truly here



Friday, March 25, 2016

Limerick Friday #400: A Milestone Friday, Plus The Underwoods Resort To The Lowest Levels



From an MSI blast back in time
To poems about SEO sublime
The 400th week of this
Limericks that laugh and diss
Now my Fridays all rhyme

A year that was no vacation
The Pack reduced to low station
A season with no safe harbor
Made bearable by Cat Barber
Many thanks from Wolfpack Nation

Another season petering out
A whimper instead of a shout
Doctor Denise, a tough loss
But a crossroads they have to cross
Negin is now lurking about

Pro Bowls he once earned
‘Til he got old and burned
A pint-sized corner with hops
And a ratchet who never stops
Brent Grimes, marriage lesson learned

A Presidency in shards
With no corruption guards
Starting a war
For distraction and more
That’s the season of “House of Cards”



Friday, March 11, 2016

Limerick Friday #399: Can A Pack Legend Help Turn Around The ‘Fins, Plus Blindsiding The Saviors Seems Not Smart



A franchise in the dumps
Perennial offseason chumps
But Mario was a baller move
Could help the ‘Fins find a groove
But we’ll still take our media lumps

Gutty but undermanned
Nothing went as planned
The Pack had a lot of heart
But a season of false starts
True fans will understand

The liver heals fast
Ghosts of the past
Marriage of convenience, indeed
When a campaign is in need
“House of Cards” has conspiracies vast

Bundles of cash fly around
Solutions bought but not found
It’s free agency time in the NFL
For those who’ve avoided cap hell
Overpaying and egos abound
 
Another rash decision by Rick
Will Nagin pull off the last trick?
Killing strangers in their sleep
Leads to many questions deep
Of bad outcomes, you can take your pick



Friday, March 04, 2016

Limerick Friday #398: Dook’s Serial Tripper Roams Free, Plus “House Of Cards” Might Now Be Reality TV


Can shoot the three or dunk
A Lil’ Abner with some funk
Cheap shots for all to see
Hypocrisy from the ACC
Grayson Allen, Duke’s latest bitch punk

A welcome change of scenes
In a world inescapably obscene
The team takes to the Hilltop
While Abraham ponders being Pop
Calling out Nagin takes a lot of beans

Another situation unfunny
The ‘Fins have no money
Maybe they’re better off
To give free agency a scoff
And stop pretending things are sunny

B.C. gave them a scare-a
Remember the fat lady and Yogi Berra
A home loss would’ve been clowned
To the worst team around
Finally saved by Michael Cera

A political kick to the ‘nards
Ripping our government to shards
This actually isn’t about Trump
That pompous, bankrupted lump
It’s about the return of “House of Cards”




Friday, February 26, 2016

Limerick Friday #397: A Brilliant Look At The ‘70s Music Industry, Plus Miami’s Bust Identification Season Is Quickly Approaching




The cutthroat ‘70s music biz
An NYC made of bellbottoms, coke, and jizz
A force of nature, Bobby Cannavale
Like a walking, snorting bacchanal
“Vinyl” makes you say “gee whiz”

Another in a string of defeats
At the hands of the Cheats
Cat Barber’s the best
But it’s a one-man team mess
Gottfried can’t afford many repeats

A rocky six-episode run
Finished with intensity by the ton
Was it another placeholder
For a psudeo-Scully and Mulder
There’s more to tell about a smoking gun

I motivate like Matt Foley
Fuck up the redesign, slowly
 I’ve given 35 presentations
Show up drunk without hesitation
My hair smells like desperation and Stoli

Can you cut on a dime?
Do you interview sublime?
Are you pre-injured or a bad fit?
Miami’ll put a ring on it
Welcome to NFL Combine time



Friday, February 19, 2016

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVXIII: “Better Call Saul” Nails Its Comeback, While “Walking Dead” Wallows In Confusion




Trapped in the trash at the mall
Running scams to escape it all
Chasing what he wants with Kim
The walls closing down on him
How we’ve missed you, “Better Call Saul”

Blow it up once again
Or shuffle a position or 10
A rebuild or tweak case?
Is the question for Adam Gase
I’ll be over here remembering when

Hackers thumb the government eye
Saul is sexing a spy
Quinn is like Jason Vorhees
“Homeland” is now “24” degrees
Drink every time Carrie does cry

A giveaway for the Cheats
Continuing the rivalry defeats
Roy blew another lead
And his players cannot read
11 out of 14 Blue Devils beats

A zombie massacre upon its return
In Alexandria did walkers all burn
Maybe Glenn is Jason Vorhees
More often I say, “Oh, puh-lease”’
“Walking Dead” takes a sketchy turn