Friday, May 27, 2016

Limerick Friday #404: Frightened Rabbit Lays Siege To Saxapahaw, Plus Baseball Used Well-Thrown Punch To Get Mildly Exciting



From Scotland to Saxapahaw
One of the best concerts I ever saw
A set list to make you shiver
Tore up all of Haw River
Frightened Rabbit left me in awe

Under pretty high stakes
Some key recruiting takes
All of a sudden the Pack
Looks a little stacked
The difference a month makes

A strong Wyoming lass
The epitome of class
Left a legacy of grace
And plenty of Vogies in place
As a beloved Grandma did pass

Beat every foe on his plate
Took home the Players late
Even without his best game
Jason Day cruised with no shame
Well-played as always, mate
 
On their shoulders they had a chip
Thanks to Bautista’s bat flip
So the next time they had a look
Made him eat a right hook
Odor made him eat meals with a sip



Friday, May 06, 2016

Limerick Friday #403: Feeling A Windy City Draft, Plus HBO Saves TV Season Again



Gas mask bong for the win
Laremy Tunsil now a ‘Fin
But the rest of the picks
Full of head-scratching risks
Ask me in three years again

“Veep” and “Silicon Valley,” reborn
It’s kinda like Christmas morn
A coupla smash hits
To cure network TV’s shits
Best comedies on air, I’ve sworn

It’s the NFL Draft
The mediocre’s life raft
So when in Chitown
Wear this like a crown:
“Please ‘Fins, don’t be daft”

Beer you can’t nurse
Run through every curse
You mumble Ned Ginn
And say, “Never again”
And then you watch something worse

“Twin Peaks” meets “The Killing”
“Top of the Lake” is quite thrilling
The detective, “Mad Men’s” Peggy
The atmosphere quite heavy
Early on, both creepy and chilling



Friday, April 22, 2016

Limerick Friday #402: The British Overrun Augusta, Plus “Vinyl” Turns Finale Up To 11



 For all those who had a golf hanker
The Masters went to a wanker
Danny Willett a great story
But no Day, Johnson, or Rory
Spieth reacted like a pissy banker

As spinoffs goes
“Fear the Walking Dead” kinda blows
Have always liked Kim Dickens
The rest of cast lame chickens
Like a made-for-TV movie shows

Miami’s got needs and musts
For their annual festival of busts
The offseason quietly good
Can they draft like they should?
Or leave me head-shaking and cussed

John Oliver is an heir
To the genius of Colbert
Meticulous details
With laughter regales
Cross him only if you dare
 
A memorable “Vinyl” finale
Richie with a nice little rally
The Nasty Bits rock
Boosting Alibi stock
Season 2 should be interesting, pally



Friday, April 08, 2016

Limerick Friday #401: “The Walking Dead” Whimpers Into The Offseason, Plus Augusta Takes Over The Sports Stage



Once a pulse-pounding show
Is quickly losing mojo
Negan with his Lucille banger
Reduced by a needless cliffhanger
TWD is losing audience as they go

Goodbye to the Martin twins
As the Pack roster thins
A crossroads time for Gott
As his seat starts to get hot
Only way out is recruiting and wins

“Vinyl” has made the leap
Digging into issues deep
From race to religion to murder
The writers keep pushing it further
Makes you laugh, dance, and weep

A dramatic buzzer beater
Fans cried at Harris Teeter
Quite a run, but now it’s ovah
The year belonged to Villanova
Karma for each and every cheater
 
The morning dew is clear
Green grass that could bring a tear
Magnolias scent the air
The vision of a golf love affair
Masters means spring’s truly here



Friday, March 25, 2016

Limerick Friday #400: A Milestone Friday, Plus The Underwoods Resort To The Lowest Levels



From an MSI blast back in time
To poems about SEO sublime
The 400th week of this
Limericks that laugh and diss
Now my Fridays all rhyme

A year that was no vacation
The Pack reduced to low station
A season with no safe harbor
Made bearable by Cat Barber
Many thanks from Wolfpack Nation

Another season petering out
A whimper instead of a shout
Doctor Denise, a tough loss
But a crossroads they have to cross
Negin is now lurking about

Pro Bowls he once earned
‘Til he got old and burned
A pint-sized corner with hops
And a ratchet who never stops
Brent Grimes, marriage lesson learned

A Presidency in shards
With no corruption guards
Starting a war
For distraction and more
That’s the season of “House of Cards”



Friday, March 11, 2016

Limerick Friday #399: Can A Pack Legend Help Turn Around The ‘Fins, Plus Blindsiding The Saviors Seems Not Smart



A franchise in the dumps
Perennial offseason chumps
But Mario was a baller move
Could help the ‘Fins find a groove
But we’ll still take our media lumps

Gutty but undermanned
Nothing went as planned
The Pack had a lot of heart
But a season of false starts
True fans will understand

The liver heals fast
Ghosts of the past
Marriage of convenience, indeed
When a campaign is in need
“House of Cards” has conspiracies vast

Bundles of cash fly around
Solutions bought but not found
It’s free agency time in the NFL
For those who’ve avoided cap hell
Overpaying and egos abound
 
Another rash decision by Rick
Will Nagin pull off the last trick?
Killing strangers in their sleep
Leads to many questions deep
Of bad outcomes, you can take your pick



Friday, March 04, 2016

Limerick Friday #398: Dook’s Serial Tripper Roams Free, Plus “House Of Cards” Might Now Be Reality TV


Can shoot the three or dunk
A Lil’ Abner with some funk
Cheap shots for all to see
Hypocrisy from the ACC
Grayson Allen, Duke’s latest bitch punk

A welcome change of scenes
In a world inescapably obscene
The team takes to the Hilltop
While Abraham ponders being Pop
Calling out Nagin takes a lot of beans

Another situation unfunny
The ‘Fins have no money
Maybe they’re better off
To give free agency a scoff
And stop pretending things are sunny

B.C. gave them a scare-a
Remember the fat lady and Yogi Berra
A home loss would’ve been clowned
To the worst team around
Finally saved by Michael Cera

A political kick to the ‘nards
Ripping our government to shards
This actually isn’t about Trump
That pompous, bankrupted lump
It’s about the return of “House of Cards”