Friday, April 21, 2017

Limerick Friday #427: “Veep” Is Back And All Is OK Again Across The Land, Plus The Strange Metaphors Of “The Young Pope”

Of sanity, there is not a peep
The horseshit is more than deep
In this political season
The only voice of reason
Comes with the return of “Veep”

A ‘bag he always did seem
Tended to always whine and preen
But after many a year
Sergio got his “Ole” cheer
And took home a jacket of green

He was prickly and fickle
With well-timed rib tickles
The original angry comic
Furrowed brow and a gin & tonic
RIP to the incomparable Don Rickles

The Pack’s own Michael Cera
About defense he did not care-a
Just a hired gunner
His departure not a stunner
Mav Rowan, good luck in Bavaria

Jude Law is all sneer and mope
As Pius XIII, all sadism and hope
Eviscerates the Catholic church
From his hypocritical perch
HBO did it again with “The Young Pope”

Friday, April 07, 2017

Limerick Friday #426: Red-White Game Becomes A Family Affair, Plus After A Barrage Of Promos, The Masters Is Upon Us

Football in March is welcome, certainly
Though tackling was approached thinly
The cousins cheered on the Pack
And laughed all the way back
They even got to meet Ryan Finley

Every final minute was the same
Key whistles in every game
The glass slipper shackles fitted
But even Cheaters admitted
The championship was pretty lame

A ‘Fins draft bust roll call
Would last the entire fall
From Avery to Green to Ginn
Bosa, Kumerow, we never win
But Dion Jordan’s the worst bust of all

Each headline worse than the last
Good thing nothing gets passed
Apologies to the world at large
We’re trying to escape a sinking barge
Somebody explore impeachment, fast
Masters Week has arrove
WASPs descend in droves
Augusta conducts a spring dance
Led by the insufferable Nance
Let’s see whose green jacket gets wove

Friday, March 24, 2017

Limerick Friday #425: State Moves Fast To Land Its Man, Plus The Rock & Roll Angels Take Another

Even in coaching search events
Sometimes it all makes sense
Kevin Keatts was the ideal fit
Pack fans think he’s a hit
Don’t overthink it, just swing for the fence

Yes, the league was tough
But intimidating? A bunch of fluff
The ACC got bounced fast
Only the refs saved UNC’s ass
So save it with hard neighborhood stuff

So Eugene’s a traitor
Gregory’s a hater
Sasha went rogue solo
Rosita said “Oh no”
And Daryl showed up to save her?

They researched many others
But State got their druthers
They found one who wasn’t scared
As Wolfpack Nation prepared
To say, F you, Miller brothers

Played guitar like one should
No one rocked like he could
Revolutionized music, very
So rest in peace Chuck Berry,
Jamming with Johnny B. Goode

Friday, March 17, 2017

Limerick Friday #424: Top O’ The Mornin’, Plus Don’t F This Up, Wolfpack

Guinness we looked on with awe
Green was all that we saw
Thoughts headed Ireland’s way
On this St. Patrick’s Day
Blarney and erin go bragh!

Behind the ACC they did lag
Gottfried struck me as a ‘bag
Ending an awful year brought elation
Good riddance says Wolfpack Nation
Now a coaching search we must not gag

“Ole” defense he did prize
To recruits he told many lies
Coeds he chased
Took the money and raced
Can we hire some respectable guys?

NC State got caught with no pants
But after some coaching rants
Time to respect March
As they pursue Keatts and Arch
Here comes the magical Big Dance

In search of a less-brutal move
Can TWD re-find its groove?
A rom-com with Rick and Michonne?
Sight gags that make you groan?
What’s next, a zombie Boov?

Friday, March 03, 2017

Limerick Friday #423: Giovanni & Cranston Power Sneaky-Good “Sneaky Pete,” Plus TWD Trying To Find New Identity

He plays a con man cheat
Immersed in the role, complete
A cast full of underrated actors
Is one of the many factors
That makes me love “Sneaky Pete”

Needed a red zone threat
On Julius Thomas, they’ve placed that bet
Got him for a late pick
After Branden Albert hit the brick
For the Dolphins, an underrated get

In “Weird Science,” he stole every scene
Made “Aliens” worth every bean
On “Big Love,” he played a Mormon
In “Tombstone,” he wasn’t conformin’
Bill Paxton was talented, funny, and keen

America turning into a dump
Lies now peddled by the lump
USA bashing now in season
When W becomes a voice of reason
That’s all you need to know about Trump

A show that now lurches instead of glides
It’s quality rides with the tides
As obvious as a walker vegan
An inevitable battle with Negan
Did Eugene really switch sides?

Friday, February 17, 2017

Limerick Friday #422: Gottfried Gott Fired, Plus No Hiding From The Fake News

Had lots of optimism from the start
A promising beginning fell apart
Couldn’t keep a roster intact
Defense was a rumor not a fact
Gottfried built a program with no heart

His Hall of Fame bets I did hedge
Thought Jason Taylor was right on the ledge
He stood out on bad teams
As the ‘Fins fell apart at the seams
But he was always a terror off the edge

When all is lost, it seems
Can find stray sunbeams
Happiness a choice they say
Time is nothing but the next day
Solace can be found in dreams

To watch requires Zoloft
With mind-numbing turnovers oft
Individuals who don’t blend
And are pretty easy to defend
The Pack is just way too soft

Hard to avert your eyes
And ignore all the fraudulent lies
The scariest phrase in the mirror
Is our new “post-truth era”
Fascism with no pretense of disguise

Friday, February 10, 2017

Limerick Friday #421: How Long ‘Til Mark Gott Fired?, Plus Disney And “The OA” Good Distractions

Players with no heart
Strategy not worth a fart
A staff with no vision
Makes it an easy decision
Fire Gottfried for a fresh start

The Cheatriots did it again
Fell straight into a win
Brady is no joke
But Matty Ice was an epic choke
Evil Empire has me drinking gin

Rides in every park
Fireworks in the dark
Beers around the world
After we looped and twirled
Disney always hits the mark

Once they were relevant in March
Now for wins they are parched
Apathy has set in
Time to press reset again
Wolfpack Nation now turns to Arch

On NetFlix, I found “The OA”
It’s kinda pretty OK
On focus, it’s a bit bleary
On plot, it’s a bit eerie
We all need easy entertainment today