Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Limerick Friday #440: "Godless" Takes Netflix By Storm, Plus "Mr. Robot" Ups The Anarchy In Season 3


Jeff Daniels as a plains devil
Cinematography on another level
A genre-bending tour de force
Kinda like "Scarface" on a horse
In "Godless," all western fans revel

An end to the reign of error
Open mikes she will go on to terror
A writer who can't write
A manager who can't manage right
A parenting class might make her care-r

Playoffs usually mean one and done
Slipped past the first week by one
Then I won by three
Chopped the pot politely
Gonna lose the title by like a ton

Won 8 of the last 11 meetings
No matter what the seedings
The rams never stop bleating
Even though the cheating
Has yet to stop the Pack beatings

Mr. Robot was ripped from the headlines
Navigating technology landmines
The FBI working with Big Biz
Common folk beholden to a hacker whiz
Need Elliott to stop American deadlines


Saturday, November 25, 2017

Limerick Friday #439: His Loss Had Us All Free-Fallin', Plus We Needed A Drug Besides Tryptophan



He made rock & roll heady
For his departure we weren't ready
"Full Moon Fever" a classic
Though some thought him Jurassic
Music won't be the same minus Tom Petty

Is Doeren real or fake?
The question after a collapse at Wake
A promising season does fade
His own bed has he made
Today everyone knows what's at stake

'80s nostalgia shown delightfully
Dustin's one of the best things on TV
Hopper was hiding Eleven
An upside-down binge-watching heaven
Stranger Things, so when is season three?

Can't find a dependable tight end
Or a kicker whose kick doesn't bend
A promising fantasy season
Fading for the injury reason
Offer me someone healthy and press send

Drama the order of the day
Many games of he say, she say
'Tis the season for strife
Now pass the carving knife
That's just the Thanksgiving way


Friday, October 27, 2017

Limerick Friday #438: Don't Look Now, But The Pack Has A Squad, Plus King Finally Translates To TV With A Win


The offensive line was a joke
So the coach did rails of coke
We play like a dump
So let me do a bump
The 'Fins in 2017, folks

5-3 so far on the year
In a schedule that's a bit queer
Solid roster top to bottom
Need a tight end if you got 'im
Jordan Reed is an injury fear

The Pack's pretty good, I swear
Though the local media doesn't care
They'd rather talk UNC-Cheat
And sniff jocks as part of their beat
While NC State continues its tear

On decency he's taken a dump
With the IQ and awareness of Gump
Embarrassing days for our nation
What's led us to this low station?
Hate in the age of Trump

Mr. Mercedes the surprise of the season
Freaked me out beyond reason
Stephen King well-translated to screen
Acting better than I've seen
Need a Season 2 if you pleasin'


Friday, October 06, 2017

Limerick Friday #437: Tom Petty Passing Got Me Free-Fallin’, Plus Fantasy Got Me Bobbin’ And Weavin’


Vegas hit us all in the mouth
Reflecting an America uncouth
Then Tom Petty died
And every music fan cried
Especially those of us “Down South”

Jitters made me want to heave
Penalties made me want to leave
But amidst all the elation
I ask you Wolfpack Nation
Are you finally ready to believe?

A racist dotard pile of blah
Has made us the world’s pariah
Ignored his own citizens in need
Threw them toilet paper indeed
This is who are now, America fuck yeah

One woman lived only on bread fat
To her, other ones kinda fed that
From a place that didn’t know comms
To one rife with pom-poms
Culture shock, thy name is Red Hat

A league with ever-changing rules
Filled with no-trading fools
A 14-team stalwart once
Now it’s like third-down punts
Fantasy football, a kick in the jewels


Friday, September 08, 2017

Limerick Friday #436: Biff Doeren Dashes Hopes Again, Plus “Man In The High Castle” Provides A Welcome Surprise


Football expectations did rightly soar
Stop me if you’ve heard this before
For a half, State lived up to the rap
At halftime, Doeren took a nap
A Pack implosion was unsurprisingly in store

Ineptitude in the rear view
Abandoning the uncreative milieu
On to a real place
With real roles and pace
Putting on a Red Hat is my cue

The best we can’t always keep
For a show that made a comedy leap
Seven seasons will have to suffice
Of satire and irony cold as ice
One more season for the impeccable “Veep”

A fantasy draft from an odd spot
Just OK with what I got
Dudes nabbed just before my pick
Coaching will have to do the trick
In Season 20, this is my lot

The acting is surprisingly first rate
Depicting a world run by hate
“Man in the High Castle” is searing
The plotlines complex but endearing
Maybe, just maybe, it’s even kind of great

Last time

Friday, September 01, 2017

Limerick Friday #435: Feeling All The “Game Of Thrones” Feelings, Plus The Beach Launchpad


A zombie dragon took down the Wall
White Walkers on the long haul
Jon Snow sexing his aunt
Littlefinger no longer around to haunt
It’s a long wait ‘til the final season, y’all

Could it really be season 20?
Fantasy questions aplenty
A new year at our front door
The Scooters are back for more
A fair shake from Lady Luck for me?

Mid-life crises abound
Neuroses by the pound
No-talent hacks
Work only for snacks
Just as pathetic as it sounds

Offensive line in shambles
Setting up Cutler scrambles
Linebackers make you cringe
Maxwell always get singed
On new faces Miami gambles

Missed out on visiting Chip’s
But got to see an eclipse
As changes lie in store
Soul healing at the shore
It’s always my favorite of trips



Friday, August 11, 2017

Limerick Friday #434: Smokin’ Jay Arrives In South Beach, Plus GOT Went Dragon Nuclear



Training camp has been bloody
Now the roster’s a bit muddy
But the Emo Cannon is on the way
And I just have to say
Welcome to Miami, Cutty

Here are the dog days of summer
Work is an embarrassing bummer
Swim team is finally done
A ton of teaching was done
Now for a job that doesn’t make me feel dumber

Ajayi got nailed
Now the J-Train’s derailed
Lost a starting guard
Then Tanny went down hard
I think this training camp failed

They attract every ignorant fool
Tried to make cheating cool
Put basketball on football gear
Of irony, they never did hear
UNC, quite a football school

Snow still won’t bend his knees
Dany sent dragons in threes
Drogon lit up the Lannisters
With some whoop-ass canisters
Jamie’s now Jason Vorhees




Friday, August 04, 2017

"Ghosts Of The Arctic"



Staggering.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Limerick Friday #433: “Game Of Thrones” Returns Sets Social Media On Fire, Plus Roger Federer Are You Serious



Cersei running out of ways to go
Samwell tries to help Jon Snow
Sansa stunning to aspire
Arya a mercenary not for hire
Daenerys, how I’ve missed you so

The Hound, an attack of the feels
Bran reaches the wall and then heels
The White Walkers on the implacable march
Beric has an undying parch
GOT’s return made my mind reels

All of Westeros under attack
Of intrigue and drama, no lack
The Red Woman haunts my dreams
Even as evil as it seems
Melisandre, I need you back

A tailspin for the Metsies means
A fire sale coming to Queens
How much for a pitcher with the gout?
Or an old shortstop who only makes outs
Would settle for an old mitt and beans

Each backhand was rightly smote
For Cilic that was all she wrote
Roger Federer put the greatest stamp
On being Wimbledon’s greatest champ
Forever the motherf’ing GOAT




Friday, July 14, 2017

Limerick Friday #432: “Mr. Robot” Takes Summer By Storm, Plus Tales Of Failure



A couple years late
But I crashed the gate
To the Mr. Robot cult
It’s hit me like a bolt
For the next episode I can’t wait

Any postseason prospects are fake
There are no moves to make
Injuries struck them cold
Lots of vets just got old
This is the Mets at the All-Star break

Hiefers in clown pants
Harpies with inane rants
A brooch of a pork rind potlatch
A French fry feed bag to match
Deal only in won’ts and can’ts

Lost without or with
Success was only a myth
Wasted a year at State
Gott still stalks him to date
Have a nice NBA life, Dennis Smith

Season three ended pretty dire
Everything going up in fire
“Better Call Saul” a triumph in force
We’re sneaking up, of course
To where “Breaking Bad” touches the wire




Friday, June 23, 2017

Limerick Friday #431: “Twin Peaks” Returns With More Loony-Ness Than Ever, Plus A National Soap Opera About Cheetos And Vodka



David Lynch’s world of freaks
Has undergone a few tweaks
Still delightfully nuts
With quarter-century-old jump cuts
Welcome back, you zany “Twin Peaks”

Through all the Big Apple noise
The injury bug still toys
With the Mets, for whom I fear
It’s gonna be wait ‘til next year
It just ain’t happenin’, boys

A plot line kind of in shards
Against ridiculousness it guards
But Frank Underwood seems OK
Compared to the batshits of today
I can’t quit you, “House of Cards”

Usually the U.S. Open
Involves lotsa hittin’ and hopin’
But Brooks Koepka destroyed
And the field really toyed
With a course that required no copin’

On democracy we’ve taken a dump
As James Comey was put on the stump
At some point, John McCain
Went senile or insane
Reality TV in the era of Trump



Friday, June 09, 2017

Limerick Friday #430: “The Leftovers” Leaves A Gaping Hole In Dramatic TV, Leaving Even Carrie Matheson In Tears


The end of a remarkable show
Pulled where it wanted us to go
He searched the world like Dora
Said, “People hold candles, Nora.”
“The Leftovers” super-charged TV with its flow

Choked when they were sitting pretty
In a backwater Kentucky city
The Pack had it all in its sight
‘Til the baseball gods gave State a smite
Let me know if you’ve heard this ditty

When ignorance goes viral
And things start to spiral
I slow my flow
And think of Mo
I just might still be in denial

Summer is upon us, indeed
Time away is what I need
School has drawn to a close
Work’s full of incompetent hoes
Need a week just to drink and read

Despite a glacial pace
Ended up in a Trumpian space
A slow-moving “Homeland” season
Overly complex beyond reason
It all gave me Carrie Matheson face




Tuesday, June 06, 2017

Luke Skywalker Meets Moana


We get a shocking amount of "Moana" in our house. Also, "Star Wars." So it was inevitable that these two worlds should meet.

You're welcome.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Limerick Friday #429: Like Tom Petty, The Mets Keep Freefallin’, Plus An Embarrassing Red House Is An International Dumpster Fire


The bullpen a complete joke
Harvey a douche full of coke
The defense full of holes
Injuries taking tolls
Terry Collins job up in smoke?

“The Fall” has turned out decent
After a start that was stuck in cement
Crimes pulled from Belfast papers
But here’s what gives me the vapors:
Scully with an Irish accent

Pro decisions strange
Chemistry out of range
Coach Keatts faces a huge test
To make a bad roster play its best
And bring about complete culture change

Managers without a clue or a plan
Enough creativity to power a desk fan
Battling thunder thighs
And harpies telling lies
An overflowing list of who to shitcan

Scandals at a frantic pace
Each day brings an impeachment case
Our government in shambles
As an orange liar rambles
How the hell did we get to this place?

Last time

Monday, May 08, 2017

Wut.


Grande from Nuno Dias on Vimeo.

Friday, May 05, 2017

Limerick Friday #428: An Ill Wind Drafts Through The Windy City, Plus “Silicon Valley” Has Finally Returned


A number of choices deft
Made the best of what’s left
A solid draft for the ‘Fins
As a new season begins
Now the Bears make you say WTF

The quirkiest show on TV
Is back for a season three
“The Leftovers” is more than unique
Uplifting with an overtone of bleak
The bar’s raised higher than I can see

With many howls
And drooling jowls
She’s off for a new elbow
To pain we’ll say hell no
The bill gives me anxious bowels

The worries have been heeded
A Pack rally is needed
Disappointing baseball season
Underachievement beyond reason
Now Avent has to get State seeded

After the workaday trudge
And endless political sludge
“Silicon Valley” offers a haven
In the tales of technology mavens
Bless you, incomparable Mike Judge




Friday, April 21, 2017

Limerick Friday #427: “Veep” Is Back And All Is OK Again Across The Land, Plus The Strange Metaphors Of “The Young Pope”


Of sanity, there is not a peep
The horseshit is more than deep
In this political season
The only voice of reason
Comes with the return of “Veep”

A ‘bag he always did seem
Tended to always whine and preen
But after many a year
Sergio got his “Ole” cheer
And took home a jacket of green

He was prickly and fickle
With well-timed rib tickles
The original angry comic
Furrowed brow and a gin & tonic
RIP to the incomparable Don Rickles

The Pack’s own Michael Cera
About defense he did not care-a
Just a hired gunner
His departure not a stunner
Mav Rowan, good luck in Bavaria

Jude Law is all sneer and mope
As Pius XIII, all sadism and hope
Eviscerates the Catholic church
From his hypocritical perch
HBO did it again with “The Young Pope”