Friday, September 26, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIV: Months Before It Airs, Season 2 of “True Detective” Already Blows, Plus Please Leave Philbin With The Wankers




I loved the first “True Detective”
But now their casting’s defective
Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn?
Were all the real actors gone?
Expectations now put into perspective

Coach K got hammered ‘til the bell
By a name even harder to spell
Wojnarowski blistered the coach
For using USA hoops to poach
When Calipari complains, your tactics must really smell

Nuck dodging hits in Havana
Part of the “Boardwalk Empire” panorama
Meyer Lansky lurking around
Chalky escaped underground
Luciano now Brooklyn’s top banana?

Undefeated with a third win
By the hair of my chinny-chin-chin
Now I’m in bye week hell
My backups have a distinctive smell
Pop that champagne, Garo Yepremian

The body blows don’t abate
As Philbin engenders hate
He’s got Tanny saying, “Why me?”
And a nation saying, “Blimey!”
Shitcan him in London, why wait?



Friday, September 19, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: The ‘Fins Are Who We Thought They Were, Plus The Scooters’ Depth Tested Early


Back to earth with a thud
Every Tannehill pass like a scud
A predictable loss to the Bills
Has fans running for the hills
The future of this team, clear as mud

The reigning Man of the Year
Reinjured and shed a tear
Charles Tillman is what’s right
In a league that’s full of blight
For Peanut, well wishes and a cheer

On the other hand, we read
About Adrian Peterson’s need
To beat his illegitimate 4-year-olds
With trees instead of scolds
Purple Jesus, indeed

The last season has finally hit
“Sons of Anarchy” has violence with no wit
Jax trying to avenge Tara’s killing
Believe his mom, he’s still willing?!
He’s losing control bit by bit

Everywhere, they were dropping like flies
Lost four of my starting guys
In a single cursed afternoon
A 2-0 team with an injury swoon
Fantasy football, I shake my fist at your skies



Friday, September 12, 2014

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: Bullying The Hoody, Plus Missing Mo



Finally got a running game
Of the Dolphins, no longer ashamed
Forced Brady into the fetal position
Pounded the Patsies into submission
No more of the same ol’ same?

Fitzgerald made me say uh-oh
My kicker was kinda of a no-show
But Lynch went into beast mode
Vernon Davis never really slowed
Just feels good to be 1-0

An emotional “The Leftovers” finale
Took no time to dilly or dally
The Guilty Remnant got torched
So many memories got scorched
Kevin and Nora may just rally

The NFL repeatedly liared
Guess TMZ they should have hired
Hard to get worse than Ray Rice
He’s like a maggot with lice
But it’s time for Goodell to be fired

Two years gone by
Yet each week I cry
At the loss of you
The one thing that was true
Robbed of the chance to ask why