Friday, December 21, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: Newtown Redefines “Unspeakable,” Plus Frank Costanza Had It Right All Along

Horror played out at Sandy Hook
Tears made it hard to even look
One more coward with an assault rifle
Saw precious life as but a trifle
If there’s a hell, he’d better cook

To an older generation, a link
Even though he didn’t always think
Larry Merchant is stepping away
He was there during boxing’s heyday
Finest hour was clowning Mayweather with a wink

We bicker and argue and fight
And ignore others’ plight
Sure, it’s the holiday season
Credit card bills soar for no reason
And hope the Mayans weren’t right

Pete Carroll a douche to the core
Faking a punt up 30, you dirty whore?
Russell Wilson has made a career
Of making coaches better than they appear
Pete the Fraud will get his until he’s buttsore

Festivus Day is nigh
A holiday defined by a sigh
Grievances loudly aired
Feats performed with muscles bared
That metal pole, it stretches so high ...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 62

Just in case you need an example of personalized marketing done right, I offer up Wimpy’s Braille burgers for your consideration.

A Mitt Romney visit to McDonald’s would play out just as you imagined a Mitt Romney visit to McDonald’s would play out.

I’m not a big fan of the NFL’s “crackdown” on dangerous plays. However, if the league is serious about curbing such hits, they need to adopt an NBA-type rule that decrees that if you accrue a certain number of personal fouls, you begin earning suspensions. The fines simply aren’t a viable deterrent.

Hey look, a handy guide to every grocery store of all times and ever! Well, except for the creepy dude that hangs out by the wine cooler section, waiting for fat girls in pajama pants to roll by.

This Corona Extra commercial will always make me think of Christmas:

If you’re like me, you find social media “gurus” largely annoying as shite. This video nails these clowns in a nutshell as it discusses the new social media: robots talking to robots who can’t buy any products.

Incredible footage of the largest recorded “calving” event in history, involving a glacier the size of a mountain. Just imagine how big it would be if global warming was a real thing!

Because there’s a plot to destroy America’s beer. Where is Jack Bauer when you really need him?

To all the NFL automaton media types, the term “50-burger” to describe the feat of reaching 50 points in a single game is reserved solely for the largest of tools. Use accordingly.

On the off chance that recent events haven’t reminded you to try to live each day as fully as possible, this 17-year-old with cancer and months to live just might. He is saying goodbye through song and a pledge to make the most of what he has left.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIV: Only Jack Bauer Can Save Carrie, Plus “Fringe” Is Ramping Up To Epic Finale

A first season marked by an intense pace
But now it’s turned into a “24” freebase
“Homeland” has gone off the rails
A second year full of believability fails
I now watch with my Claire Danes Crying Face

A liar, a douche and a cheat
A philanderer, too? Pretty neat!
Petrino hired by Western Kentuck
Character? They didn’t give a f%&k
Say “My bad,” then rinse and repeat

A season of holiday cheer
Offset by missing those held dear
The lights twinkle though thoughts turn bleak
A smile even as a tear streaks your cheek
Blessed, pained, life in the course of a year

I saw Tannehill’s accuracy and laughed
Couldn’t hit the ocean from a raft
Another lost year, you don’t say
Sad days for the Dolphins, but hey ...
I heard we’ll get a good pick in the draft

A weekly hour-long adrenalin binge
With melancholy, perhaps a little tinge
Not ready for the end of Walter’s story
Or to say bye to Olivia in all her glory
Yet these are the final days of “Fringe”

Last time

Friday, December 07, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: “Boardwalk Empire” Pays Off Season 3 With Epic Gang War, Plus The Pack Moves Fast To Get Its Man

Nuck pushed right buttons like before
Bested Masseria and Rothstein in war
Rosetti, a too-merciful death
Harrow went Rambo on meth
Holy crap, what’s in store for season four?!

On all cylinders State wasn’t hitting
So the Jimmy V Classic was fitting
Tears when the V speech came on
Then a solid win over UConn
On a promising team Gottfried is sitting

Big bucks for David Wright
Face of the franchise, day and night
Not to be all that picky
But next up is R.A. Dickey
C’mon Metsies, just do what’s right

Michonne pierced Penny on the sly
Then dug out the Governor’s eye
New visitors to Carl’s Green Mile
Daryl and Merle together on trial
A midseason finale where the blood did fly

A listless program, snorin’
A reputation borderin’ on borin’
Status quo, not good enough
Needed a coach with the right stuff
Welcome to State, Dave Doeren

Friday, November 30, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: Ballin’ With Adderall, Plus The O’Brien Era Comes To A Mixed-Feelings End

Adderall a player in the NFL show
Richard Sherman the latest to go
Wide receivers couldn’t beat
Perhaps it’s because he’s a cheat
Goodell’s asking, “You mad, bro?”

Romney, he just wanted to punch
Instead Obama invited him to lunch
They tried to put politics aside
Shared coffee (caffeine on the side)
How many flip-flop jokes? A bunch

Fantasy football, I have some kinda jinx
The losses piled up, which stinks
Then dudes started to show
And I won three in a row
The season ended too early, methinks

A bittersweet end to the third season
Only five more episodes, are you teasin’?
Davis McAlary, what’s next for you?
LaDonna, just what will you do?
“Treme,” how I love you beyond reason

One too many WTF games
Sent the O’Brien era up in flames
Preached community and owned UNC-Cheat
Graduated players and tried to compete
But mediocrity means the coach gets the blames

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Demonic Possession Meets Abduction Theory in Ultimately Fraudulent “The Fourth Kind”

In a unique presentation, “The Fourth Kind” starts out with a documentary-style opening, with actress Milla Jovovich introducing herself and addressing the audience directly. She shares that the film is a “dramatization” that centers on the story of Dr. Abigail Emily “Abby” Tyler (the hauntingly beautiful Jovovich plays the worn, beat-down Abby in a stark contrast), a psychologist who experiences “extremely disturbing events” in the course of her work in Nome, Alaska. The idea behind the movie was to mirror actual footage with dramatic re-enactments in some areas to heighten the realism needed to lend credence to the story.

Abby and her husband and fellow psychologist, Will, were partnering to research the coincidences and similarities shared by some 300 people in Nome, who were experiencing sleep deprivation caused by the appearance of a white owl waking them up at 3 in the morning, just like staring at them and hovering over them sometimes. [SPOILER ALERT: Hey, what if the owl is actually dozens of shadowy aliens doing abductions and then erasing the memories? J/k, wtf, lol, AYFKM]

One night, Will’s post-coital naptime is interrupted by the small matter of being stabbed and murdered by an intruder. And despite her being right next to her husband, Abby is unable to recollect the man’s face, even under hypnosis.

Speaking of hypnosis, the eerie factor kicks into overdrive when two of Abby’s patients endure full-body freakouts when placed in a hypnotic state, to the point of sustaining severe bodily injury and nausea. When one of Abby’s patients, Tommy, takes his family hostage, begins spouting a strange language and then murders all of them before offing them himself, the local sheriff (played by the underrated Will Patton) says, “Hey, maybe it’s time I have a spot of tea with this creep-show doctor whose husband just died under, shall we say, unusual circumstances.”

The tea party ends amiably enough, with the sheriff saying, “Hey, you know, the next time it looks like someone is going to start channeling defunct languages and pot-shotting his family, give me a bell, eh?” But the sheriff gets super-pissed (“You’re not gonna use the people of Nome for a goddam rat study”) when another hypnotic session that begins with some relatively harmless levitation and demonic possession ends with a few crushed vertebrae and a paralyzed patient—all while Abby supervised.

Late on evening, as Abby tries to piece together the day’s events, she falls asleep while dictating some notes about how dangerous the research is getting and how caution is the key. The next day, her psychologist colleague, Abel Campos (played by Elias Koteas) is waiting for her at her office, having flown up from Anchorage to check on her, you know, platonically and all. Well, her secretary found some rather disturbing audio on the tape, complete with distortion and sounds of a struggle and an undeterminable language. That’s when Abby suspects she has been abducted as well, and a suspicious scratch on her arm and nail marks found on her floor backed up this theory.

Along the way, the sheriff pays Abby another visit, and he’s on the verge of locking her up when Campos intervenes, asking for more time to determine what is actually happening here. A cop is posted outside of the Tyler house, and in the wee hours, the police car video seems to indicate that a flying saucer had a stopover, and when Abby’s daughter Ashley (who, by the way, has gone blind after her father’s murder) is missing, Abby tells the livid sheriff that a “beam of light” stole her daughter. Both the sheriff and Abby’s son, Ronnie, are, well, unconvinced, and Ronnie is happy to enter protective police custody, as even he is creeped the fuck out by his mom at this point.

Reaching the point of no return, Abby find the number to a mysterious doctor in one of Will’s books, and she rings him up. It turns out that he is Dr. Odusami, a language specialist who eventually identifies the language on the recordings as Sumerian. He then launches into a quick Rosetta Stone seminar on how the Sumerians date back to 4th century B.C.E. and talked a lot about spaceships and suits and oxygen masks and other freak-ass stuff.

What to do now? Well, hell, let’s throw Abby under hypnosis as Campos supervises and Odusami films. That can’t go wrong, right? Well, if by wrong you mean that Abby is attacked by an unidentified Sumerian quasi-god and reduced to the subject of Edvard Munch’s “The Scream,” and that they then all are abducted by once, then, yes. Things can go wrong.

Abby awakes in the hospital, apparently paralyzed now. The sheriff is there, and he welcomes her to the conscious state by showing her pictures that indicate that Will committed suicide. Right next to her. With a gun. Which, in some people’s view, may severely call into question Abby’s credibility. When Campos refuses to back up her assertions of the abduction, Abby is visibly crushed, and she is unable to offer any insights into where Ashley is when the sheriff presses her.

The flick ends with a continuation of Abby’s interview at Chapman University, where she is now reduced to a wheelchair. She reiterates her theory that millions of people are abducted, but that the aliens are able to erase their memories so that they are completely unaware of these abductions. Then the credits roll, with numerous 911 calls to report UFOs serving as the soundtrack to the fade to black, plus text that says that Ashley has never been found and no one besides Abby was willing to participate in the film’s making.

Curiously, at least to me, the DVD contained no “bonus” area with newspaper articles or background of the story, just a few lame extended scenes. But hell, we’d just experienced a thoroughly gripping, jarring, frightening movie, one that leaves you with a tinge of “what if” and a minor case of the willies. Not bad for a sci-fi flick, right?

Well, only if you’re willing to also suspend disbelief over some minor problems. Such as the fact that all assertions that this flick is based on real evidence or case studies is, well, not real. Such as the fact that even the nominal originator of these studies, Dr. Tyler, is played by an actress, Charlotte Milchard (to her credit, Milchard achieves maximum creepiness, making her a tremendous fit for the role). Such as the fact that it was filmed in Bulgaria and Canada, robbing realism from even the beautiful scenery of Alaska. Such as all of the questions and confusion dissipates quickly when the entire movie falls apart under even the slightest, most cursory examination.

So at the end of the day, writer and director Olatunde Osunsanmi has created a mockumentary, complete with fabricated newspaper archives (which led to the film being sued successfully by the Alaska Press Club). His film continuously took the lazy way out, asking the viewer to believe what they want, but then leaving out key facts needed to make such a determination. Pretending to have one foot in the documentary world and another in the feature-film world is problematic even if that was honest; the documentary aspect demands further explanation, more concrete evidence, but the feature film aspect makes that unnecessary and extraneous.

So was there any basis at all for the premise of this film? Well, yes … sort of. The FBI did investigate a string of disappearances in Nome, but they eventually chalked it up to a combination of “alcohol and frigid temperatures,” according to CNN (*insert conspiracy theories here*). Hell, at least the sublime “Blair Witch Project” had a sound backstory to fall back on; even the realm of hoaxes has a level of self-respect that “The Fourth Kind” is missing.

Disappointingly, Osunsanmi seemed to ignore the fact that the Internet era does not allow for the hiding of the truth for very long, and he elected not to try very hard to drum up a backstory in the DVD or elsewhere. There are some intriguing stats shared in the context of the film, such as 11 million UFOs have been reported since the 1930s, and many fall in the camp represented by the famous “X-Files” poster that declares, “I Want to Believe.”

Unfortunately, “The Fourth Kind” left the audience not only still wanting—but feeling lied to and even more skeptical.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI: When Fantasy Football Makes Zero Sense, Plus No-Luck Nuck On “Boardwalk Empire”

 Megatron finally scored
Jackson played like he wasn’t bored
The Cowboys D was a force
Steve Smith disappeared, of course
I finally fucking won!? I’m floored

Can’t tackle worth a bean
Turnovers border on obscene
Mistakes, penalties abound
No playmakers to be found
As the Dolphins return to the mean

For the baby, Daryl steps up alone
Though he misses Carol with an inner moan
Rick’s gone off the reservation
Michonne chose self-preservation
Who the fuck’s on the phone?

R.A. Dickey, as good as it gets
The lone bright spot for the Mets
A Cy Young Award well-earned
His life offers lessons learned
Doubt him? Call off all bets
Nucky’s empire crumbling
Billie’s dead and his decision bumbling
Margaret wants to run off with Sleater
Rosetti to be killed sooner than later
Will Nucky find it all crushing or humbling?

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 61

You can’t really separate alcohol and religion can you? The Beer Prayer represents a resounding “No.”

“Boardwalk Empire” killed off Jimmy Darmody. I’m still in shock.
One of the most complex characters in the history of television drama, he had an eventful final few episodes, as viewers saw him get raped by his mother, find his wife murdered, kill his father and then get murdered by his father figure.

There’s a restaurant in Raleigh named “Your House.” WTF? Isn’t the concept behind eating out based on the fact that you don’t have or want to eat anything in your house?

So the NBC show “Revolution” tosses around the word “dick” pretty regularly for some reason. Really? That’s OK now on network TV?

I think Notre Dame loses to USC and the national title game actually turns into Oregon vs. Kansas State. The four-game playoff in 2014 can't come fast enough ...

Here lies a list of lies that writers tell themselves. I believe I have used them all at least once.

For those of us who are tired of “Keep Calm” posters, here’s a nifty alternative.

Has any show ever gone from promising premise to unfocused irrelevance quite like “Weeds”?

In a field populated by truly horrific “talent,” Moose Johnston is a truly horrific announcer. That’s really all I have.

Need to go viraler and viraler? Now there’s Buyral. As an added bonus, it also gives you a good Cl-app for your unit.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Calmer Than You Are

I encountered a poor man's Jeffrey Lebowski at the Super Target the other day. This "Dude" seemed genuinely puzzled by bacon for at least 20 minutes. I can only hope he wrote a check for it.

Friday, November 09, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: Moving Forward, On (Almost) Every Level

Fostering voter confusion
Just part of the Republican delusion
A lesson learned for everyone
That nothing good was ever won
By preaching hate and exclusion

Against a rival, they played scared
Never energetic or prepared
A golden opportunity lost
Just whose job will it cost?
Dreams of better? State fans dared

During a terrifying prison raid
T-Dog jumped on the grenade
Lori learned the meaning of mother
Gave her life for a new other
An emotional “Walking Dead” in spades

A team full of Pro Bowlers on loan
Except that they can’t find the end zone
Lose to guys named Mikel LeShoure
Make you wonder what it’s all for
Fantasy football makes you laugh, then moan

Jokes, they’ve been hard to find
Focus hasn’t been on my mind
Writing has been a chore
Has never been an issue before
Sudden loss is so unkind

Forgive the hiatus

Friday, September 14, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: The Beach Truly Beckons, Plus A Predictable Start For State & ‘Fins

A coupla months kinda rough
Still fortunate and doubly tough
So a trip down to the OBX
Is a much-deserved trip up next
Wind, salt, sea and beer are enough

Stop me if you’ve heard this before
The Scooters on the wrong end of the score
Wes Welker went MIA
Did Stephen Jackson even play?
Injuries, underachievers and déjà vu more

Mouth Breather would always walk and travel
But avoided the ACC refs’ gavel
His Mom a homewrecker and thief
Sleeping with another UNC queef
The Carolina Way continues to unravel

Progress can seem so slow
But faster at home it could go
The good fight she has fought
With prayers and happy thoughts
Proud of and hopeful for strong Mo

Rather go mow my lawn
Then watch a squeaker up at UConn
Can State put it together for wins
Unlike my unsalvageable ‘Fins?
Another season already gone

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 60

There is not a finer journalist in the land than Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stone. Unquestionably one of my writing heroes.

Another week, another scandal over at UNC, this one involving TylerWill “The Mouthbreather” Hansbrough’s mother and fraud and infidelity and embezzling and whatever else you can pretty much think of. At this rate, the Tar Heels are encroaching on dirtiest athletic program in the history of the NCAA. The Carolina Way, indeed.

Brilliance from J.R. Moehringer of ESPN the Magazine, breaking down the push and pull of football. I would say No.s 85-87 pretty accurately describe my life philosophy to fandom.

Thanks to “Song of Mitt’s Self,” we finally get a chance to see what Romney stands for. Inspiring stuff.

Did you know they made a horrific sequel to the epic “Christmas Story”? Yeah, me neither.

So Triangle sports media thought Duke would not only cover, but win, at Stanford this past weekend. The final? Stanford 50. Duke 13. Reason #814 why sports media in this area is a sad, running joke.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. But how can you not like a President who brews beer in the White House?

So Ed Hochuli’s son, Shawn, is also a football official. It was good to see him not draw attention to his arms while also not blowing several calls and telling 75,000 of his closest friends about them for 3-4 minutes in the Utah-Utah State game the other night.

This LSU R2D2 keg is unquestionably the greatest thing of ever.

This Bud commercial, called “Clydesdale Respect,” aired once, right after 9/11. It was powerful to view it again on an emotional anniversary.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Monday, September 10, 2012

That Time Don Draper Got Rickrolled

More Joanie dancing needed ...

Friday, September 07, 2012

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: The First Lady Owns Charlotte, Plus Long Nights And Hopeful Days

In the midst of hatred and ire
A memorable speech to inspire
Michelle Obama took the stage
And used logic to defuse rage
An elegant role model to admire

Dez Bryant, an immature young pup
Strip clubs, arrests and piss in a cup
His Mom just 13 years older
So he punched her in the head and shoulder
Now he has a babysitter, can’t make it up

Against Tennessee, State laid a big fart
Didn’t play physical or smart
Expectations lessened once again
“Groundhog Day” meets “Just win”
Another year, another slow start

Cheat enough to change your fate
Say sorry then increase the cheating rate
The Pack makes the NCAA nervous
So they took it out on Wilson and Purvis
So mad at the cheaters they punished State

Too many moments of touch and go
Too many answers of “We don’t know”
So we burned up I-40 East
And were there, at the least
To offer what we could to beloved Mo

Thursday, September 06, 2012

FF2012, Part Deux: Wrapping Up And Escaping The Hell’s Angels of Wake Forest

As you could have surmised from Part I of our draft recap, we were drafting in a rather, um, colorful environment. By the time there were only a few rounds left, we were starting to get some looks and the pace of the picks ramped up (thank goodness).

Anyway, here’s what went down the rest of the way ...

10th round, 133rd overall: Cowboys, D/ST, Dallas
In need of a defense, I snagged Dallas here. Though they face a difficult schedule, I like the additions of Morris Claiborne and Brandon Carr at cornerback, and Claiborne could bring some return TDs as well. The Cowboys should give me at least a competitive D/ST this year, with the potential to develop into a top-five-caliber unit (that’s what she said). Of course, whenever Jerry Jones is in the mix, the possibility of a cataclysmic disintegration of the entire team is possible.

11th round, 148th overall: Jared Cook, TE, Tennessee Titans
In Round 9, the dude picking one spot ahead of me nabbed Jason Witten, who I had tabbed as a mid-round steal due to, well, a ruptured spleen or something. Anyway. Cook was a guy I had targeted as a sleeper-type, and the dude I had as a TE sleeper last year turned out pretty OK—Jimmy Graham. Cook was hard to stop down the stretch a season ago, and the hope is that second-year quarterback Jake Locker will look his way early and often this year, as young signal-callers are wont (look it up) to do. I’ll need a strong backup in case Cook tanks, but at this point, I’m digging the pick.

12th round, 161st overall: Jake Locker, QB, Tennessee Titans
Speaking of Locker, it behooves me to share that, in our league, any player taken after the 12th round in a draft can be “kept” as a sixth-rounder the following season provided you keep that 12th-rounder on your roster all year long. So I likely would not have chosen Locker here except that I needed a backup quarterback and he fits the mold of a player with breakout potential, which would make him a keeper next year. He also brings a mobility dimension to the position that plays well in fantasy football ... but I do admit that I am somewhat concerned that I took back-to-back Titans players.

13th round, 176th overall: Michael Floyd, WR, Arizona Cardinals
Thus far in the preseason, the reviews on Floyd have not been favorable, and he hasn’t made the impact that many had predicted thus far in Arizona. I considered him to be a bit overrated and a bit of an off-the-field risk coming into April’s draft, so that doesn’t shock me, but as another potential keeper, there is a lot of talent there if the light comes on. I’m not sure John Skelton is the triggerman of whom any wideout says, “This guy can get me to the next level,” but Floyd is a solid No. 5 wideout on my squad and plays for a team that is likely to find itself playing from way behind most of the year.

So do we get any points for stiff arms?

14th round, 190th overall: Owen Daniels, TE, Houston Texans
Daniels certainly isn’t a game-breaker, but he’s long been a solid target and favorite of Schaub, making him a nice fit as a backup tight end on the Scooters. I was a tad surprised he lasted into the 14th round, but with the focus for many shifting to kickers and defense, this seemed like a nice value selection. Speaking of kickers and defenses, I had to start scrambling for those—always the least-favorite part of your fantasy football draft day.

15th round, 205th overall: Alex Henery, K, Philadelphia Eagles
The Iggles seem to score a lot of points. Michael Vick seems destined for a dislocated pancreas this year. That should mean more field goals. Sold.

16th round, 218th overall: Devery Henderson, WR, New Orleans Saints
Henderson was a guy that I liked a lot more than most, as you can never go wrong with a Saints skill player. And with Robert Meacham off to San Diego, he has moved up to No. 3 on the WR chart for New Orleans—behind two guys who seem perpetually injured (Marques Colston and Lance Moore). Anyway, this was an extreme value pick and a guy I had pegged for going a couple of rounds earlier, so this was the ideal way for me to round out my receiving corps.

17th round, 233rd overall: Mike Nugent, K, Cincinnati Bengals
I hesitated to draft someone who even shares a last name with that disturbed piece of shit Ted Nugent, and my mood didn’t improve much when I found out that Mike had already been injured. But as my No. 2 kicker, I filed it under the advice provided by that sage guru Clark W. Griswold: “Do you really think it matters Eddie?”

18th round, 246th overall: Rams, D/ST, St. Louis
This was my final choice of a marathon draft and one of the only defenses left. Beyond that, I have absolutely nothing cogent to offer about this choice.

Headed into this draft, I already had a cornerstone wide receiver in Antonio Brown as a keeper, so there certainly wasn’t a concrete decision made to use three of my top four picks on wideouts. But that’s just how the draft board fell for me, and with the rise of RB-by-committee approaches and the rules changes to benefit aerial attacks, WRs are gaining in value on running backs.

Obviously, I am tremendously strong at wide receiver, and I also like the depth of my running back corps. I am cautiously optimistic at quarterback, iffy at tight end and likely looking to play a bit of waiver-wire bingo to shore up my defense/special teams units. Kicker? I mean, it’s hard to tell.

As the season progresses, I have more than enough ammo at the skill positions to upgrade at tight end or defense or even quarterback if necessary—which is always a good position to be in. I think the boom-or-bust player is likely to be Matt Schaub; if he can play like he did before he was injured, my team should really take off. If he is rusty and/or reinjured, I’m going to be scrambling at that spot. But the reality is most teams in fantasy football likely feel the same way.

On a side note, I was borderline shocked that LeGarrette Blount wasn’t selected at all in a 14-team, 18-round draft. Sure, he’s lost the starting job to a rookie, but the guy has done some strong things in this league and ... well, I just was very surprised at that. Carry on.

Anyway, I am once more happy overall with the way the draft came together for the Scooters, but I’ve certainly been in this position before. Will injuries take mercy on my squad this year? Will youngsters blossom and oldsters dig out one more productive year? Or will jitters and growing-old-overnight ruin my chances?

The answers to those questions are why we play, mates. They’re why we play.