Monday, September 30, 2013

I've Signed Off On This ...

Especially on a Monday, this is quite appealing ...

Friday, September 27, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: Recharging The Batteries, Plus Nucky & The Crew Return In Full Force

Feet in the sand feels right
Harvest moon hangs in the night
A few days along the Outer Banks
So much for which to give thanks
Relax and breathe in every sight

The ACC has done it again
Precluding a potential Wolfpack win
The refs made up some rules
Ended up looking like fools
Incompetence is the league’s slogan

As a government shutdown loomed
Amidst bipartisan gloom
I thought about politics of hate
And how maybe it’s too late
Our political system may be doomed

A tough loss to start the season
Cam Newton playing without reason
But a coupla wins in a row
Has optimism starting to flow
But the fantasy gods need appeasin’

Chalky in biz with Nuck
Van Alden now timid as fuck
Harrow can’t avoid danger
Dr. Narcisse is a game-changer
“Boardwalk Empire” back with pluck

Friday, September 13, 2013


A week that’s been pretty tough
Memories have been kinda rough
Seared forever, I reckons
The beach certainly beckons
But never soon enough

A school shooting as many shots rang
Torture porn by a Persian gang
Prison rape and strangle in a potty
Adultery with a madam hottie
“Sons of Anarchy” back with an ugly bang

Office flooded, what the shizz
Water pours down on all that’s his
Politics ruined what was once loved
Shit comes down from above
Perfect symbol of this biz

It happens every season
And I just don’t know the reason
I pick all the right players
And have depth in layers
Then they score no points and keep teasin’

They say time heals
And memory steals
So a year seems long ago
I see you still, precious Mo
You’re everything that my heart feels

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Guinness Brings The Awesome

Not much to add here ...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Let’s Try This Again: The Scooters Aim To Master The Draft In 2013

You know the drill (just like last year). And away we go ...

1st round, 13th overall: LeSean McCoy, RB, Philadelphia Eagles
With four of the top five picks being quarterbacks, some skill dudes slid further than anticipated. Calvin Johnson went one pick ahead of me or else he would have been the guy, but my dream scenario of going McCoy-Forte with my first two picks was still intact with this selection. McCoy should be fearsome in the Chip Kelly offense this year.

2nd round, 16th overall: Matt Forte, RB, Chicago Bears
And just like that, the dream scenario fell into place. I’m a big believer in Forte’s prospects both running and catching this year in a more imaginative offense propelled by coach Marc Trestman. With the top-tier signal-callers off the board, Forte was a no-brainer for me at this point.

3rd round, 41st overall: Vincent Jackson, WR, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Confusion reigned for me here, as CBS’s online draft room began hiccupping. First, it wouldn’t allow me to grab Cam Newton, which was my pick here, and then it did show me as having drafted Newton. However, the clock reset and I grabbed Vincent Jackson (thinking this was actually my fourth-round selection), then found out it was actually my third-rounder. (continued below) Grabbing the best remaining wideout on my board allowed me to stay in line with my draft strategy of RB-RB-QB-WR.

4th round, 44th overall: Cam Newton, QB, Carolina Panthers
Whew. Anyway, the next owner grabbed Colin Kaepernick, so when the dust settled, I had both guys I wanted anyway. I dislike Newton overall, but he was far an away the best value at a need position (especially since Matthew Stafford went two picks before), and I sort of had no choice, with six signal-callers have been selected in the first 20 picks.

5th round, 69th overall: James Jones, WR, Green Bay Packers
An owner had Jones designated as a potential “keeper” (for the price of a sixth-rounder), but withdrew that status prior to the draft (for reasons not entirely clear). Anyway, here’s a guy who was a TD machine last year who should take on an even larger role for Aaron Rodgers, especially with some injury concerns for Jordy Nelson.

6th round, 72nd overall: Seahawks, D/ST, Seattle
I don’t believe I’ve ever spurred a defensive run by being first in drafting one, but this was a tricky spot for me. With 25 picks between here and my next choice, I knew the pickings would be slim, and even though Eric Decker was still here, I figured you can  never go wrong picking the top player at any position.

7th round: 97th overall: Tavon Austin, WR, St. Louis Rams
I’m a believer in this kid as a home-run threat, and I also feel the Rams have an entire package of plays for him that they’ve kept under wraps until the regular season. I had a shot at New Orleans wideout Lance Moore here, and that was a tough one to pass up. But our league really rewards distance scores, and the hope here is that Austin develops quickly as the top option in St. Louis—and that more of his impact comes from scrimmage rather than on special teams.

8th round: 100th overall: Chris Ivory, RB, New York Jets
My first “UGH” pick, and the fact that it came this late in the draft is a win. Ivory has been dinged-up all preseason and plays for a woeful offense, but should be far and away the main guy in New York when healthy (apologies to Bilal Powell) and is a strong goal-line option. Not what I had  in mind for my #3 running back, but I could have done worse. Ugh.

9th round, 125th overall: Kyle Rudolph, TE, Minnesota Vikings
I bypassed Antonio Gates in each of the last two rounds, making this one of my favorite picks right here. I had my eye on Chicago’s Martellus Bennett, but he went a few picks beforehand and I was very surprised that the consensus #5 tight end was still hanging around in this spot. Rudolph will suffer from having Christian Ponder throwing him the ball, but he’s a beast in the red zone and should develop some as a seam threat this year.

10th round, 128th overall: Pierre Thomas, RB, New Orleans Saints
He’s been an unsung hero for years in the Big Easy, and though the Saints RB situation is cloudy at best, I liked this grab at this point as my RB4. Now I was cleared to pinpoint the rest of the WR corps and fill depth.

11th round, 153rd overall: Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Pittsburgh Steelers
Having been jumped on Mike Vick a coupla rounds earlier, I rolled with “Big Ben” as a solid backup here. His weapons have changed faces over the last coupla years, but with huge uncertainty in the running game, he could be airing it out this year. I figured I could do much worse for a QB2.

12th round, 156th overall: Percy Harvin, WR, Minnesota Vikings
This one involves a quick explanation: in my league, if you take a player in the 12th round or later, you can then keep him for the price of a sixth-rounder the following season provided he stays on your roster all season long (and you still want him). Harvin was a no-brainer for me, being that he could return earlier than most expected, plus he could give me some intriguing options going into the 2014 draft.

13th round, 181st overall: Julian Edelman, WR, New England Patriots
Basically, I wanted a Patriots wideout, because I don’t think anything is set in stone in terms of Brady’s favorite targets and the general WR rotation this year in New England. Edelman was come through in the clutch for Brady in the past, and I believe the opportunity is there for him to emerge as a viable, reliable threat as this year progresses. Hell, he even looks like the illegitimate child of Wes Welker and Danny Woodhead.

14th round, 184th overall: Markus Wheaton, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers
I rolled with another rookie wideout here, with Wheaton garnering rave reviews throughout the preseason. In the 14th round, he was well worth a gamble as a dude who could potentially replicate the deep-threat ability of the now-departed Mike Wallace. As my sixth and final receiver, I like the upside he offers—with little risk.

15th round, 209th overall: Dwayne Allen, TE, Indianapolis Colts
I was a little surprised Allen was still around, despite the mitigating factors of his injury status and the presence of Andrew Luck favorite Coby Fleener. Allen is more of a seam threat than Fleener, and at times Luck looked Allen’s way every other pass a season ago. In the 15th round and as a backup tight end, I have zero complaints.

16th round, 212th overall: David Akers, K, Detroit Lions
He’s been less than stellar of late, but here’s to thinking he turns it around indoors and the Lions put up beaucoup points in 2013. And if not on either count, he’s a kicker. They abound.

17th round, 237th overall: Titans, D/ST, Tennessee
They were here, they had a different bye week than the Seahawks and they are an underrated unit in an offense-challenged division.

18th round, 240th overall: Caleb Sturgis, K, Miami Dolphins
I wanted a Dolphin and I expect Miami to stall out quite a bit in the red zone (as per usual). And with a 58-yarder already under his belt in the preseason, Sturgis could get some distance looks if Akers falters.


CBS now generates a recap minutes after your draft concludes, and our league’s read like this: “When the dust settled from the draft, The Scooters were left on top. Their starters project out to score more points than any other team this year. Coach Scott Vogelsberg made some savvy pickups in Kyle Rudolph, Tavon Austin and LeSean McCoy. Rudolph was rated as the 3rd-best pickup in the draft.” CBS was also kind enough to deem me “Master Drafter,” then went on to potshot the other owners in the league.

Anyway, from the 13th spot in a 14-team league, I couldn’t have been much happier with how I netted out. My running back depth isn’t great and I will likely need another wideout to emerge, but the good news is I stocked those positions with low-risk, high-reward types late in the draft. But honestly, my problem has never been drafting; it has been getting players to play up to their profiles, staying healthy and roster management.

But since this is purely a draft assessment, I’m tickled pink green with how I allocated my roster this year. Giddyup ... now the fun (?) starts.

Monday, September 09, 2013

“Trouble With the Curve” Carves Out A Role As Anti-“Moneyball”

I used to love baseball. I really did. I used to lay awake at night listening to Mets games (*fill in your own joke here*) on WFAN, following guys like Hojo and David Cone and Strawberry and Gregg Jeffries Mackey Sasser and Kevin McReynolds and Mookie Wilson.

Under that premise as a one-time fan (jaded by years of steroid abuse, player strikes and juiced balls), I was pitched on “Trouble With the Curve.” The presence of a rambling Clint Eastwood was offset by the presence of an adorable Amy Adams, so with a sigh and a beer, I settled in.

Immediately—well, after a highly disturbing opening involving Eastwood having a conversation with his penis that reminded of his speech to an empty chair at the RNC—this flick was billed as an anti-“Moneyball” vehicle. Eastwood is depicted as the stereotypical Luddite, past-his-prime scout, fending off a New Age of analytics, metrics and evaluation by computer.

John Goodman was (as always) a tremendous add, but the rest of the cast was interesting, though mixing in Justin Timberlake was a poor choice (as always). Set in Asheville, N.C., the film relied on a cliché, though arguably accurate, version of North Carolina.

“Trouble With the Curve” was certainly a bit cliché and trite, but it also had a heart, neatly tied up in a cute bow with a predictable ending. Not exactly thought-provoking or groundbreaking territory, but a guilty pleasure on a late-summer evening with memories of what the former national pastime once meant to so many ... one could do worse.

Friday, September 06, 2013

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: McCain Chases A Flush As Syrian Lives Debated, Plus Poised For “Boardwalk Empire” Return

On his fellow Congressmen did drone
While McCain f’d around on his phone
Playing poker, trying to stay awake
While Syrian lives are at stake
High time for a quiet nursing home

Pushed through an empty time of year
Of boring sports to steer clear
The NBA has floppers and repeats
Baseball, a snooze of cheats
Finally, NFL football is here

Nicholson announced retirement today
Think he’s earned enough in play
Was he phoning it in recently
Though he certainly acts decently
Doesn’t he just play himself anyway?

To avoid a fantasy disaster
Must draft smarter and faster
For McCoy and Forte, I be rootin’
Hated to pick Cam Newton
CBS called me “Draft Master”

Can Nucky possibly lay low?
How will sacrificing love affect Harrow?
Of Margaret, what will become?
An A.C. with Capone should be fun
“Boardwalk Empire” is back, dontcha know

Thursday, September 05, 2013