Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 46

#1
So, one of my favorite shows, “The League,” starts back on October 6. Does anyone else think it’s odd that a show about fantasy football BEGINS during Week 5 of the NFL season?!
Hell, my fantasy season is going to be over by the time that freaking show starts.

#2
I’ve been a fan of ESPN’s “30 for 30” series, and all of the ones I’ve seen have been well done. But the most disappointing one thus far for me has been “One Night in Vegas,” which attempted to draw parallels between the fall of Mike Tyson and the death of Tupac Shakur. The intimation seemed to be that Tyson’s career was never the same after the night Shakur was killed after a Tyson fight, but it was loosely introduced and never really supported or tied to the events. Also, the relationship between the two seemed overblown, but more concerning to me was that the documentary didn’t add or reveal much. What new were we supposed to learn about Tupac and Tyson? To me, it fell way short in that regard.

#3
The first few weeks of the NFL season were marked by blown coverages, poor tackling, questionable penalties and injuries. Sort of like no one was adequately prepared. Sad.

#4
When you take into account what his name looks like and what the Philly fanbase represents, how is Moise Fokou’s No. 53 not the top-selling jersey in their market?

#5
A horrifying, yet eye-opening, account of why a GOP operative “left the cult.” Warning: Reading this may make you want to move to Vancouver tomorrow.

#6
If you think college football is dying -- or is already dead -- this is a great story, and links, backing up that premise.

#7
One of my new favorite shows, “Sons of Anarchy,” has returned. A poignant moment came when one of the characters noted, “The older we get, the further away we get from who we think we are.”

#8
Someone more eloquent than I can put words to the poignancy shown here in this video about VJ Day in Waikiki, 1945. But it is truly amazing that this film is more than 65 years old.



#9
Well, the powers-that-be in NFL offices have finally gotten what they’ve always wanted: they’ve officially turned the NFL into a seven-on-seven drill. The rules changes have been slanted so far in favor of offense that I honestly believe that passing yardage records need to have an asterisk affixed these days, to denote the “no touching” era of the NFL. 400-yard passing games are the new 300-yard passing games.

#10
Some of the deleted scenes from “The Office” are hysterical, leading one to wonder what the decision process is on what gets cut and what doesn’t. In one of the scenes, Meredith cuts off some whining from Gabe with the line, “Hey—this ain’t no Breakfast Club, BITCH!” Epic.

Don Draper Pitches The Facebook Timeline

... then goes off to get hammered, sleep on his office couch, bang his secretary and get home in time to write a campaign for Dove.

Cop Comedy “The Other Guys” Was Surprisingly … Funny

I’ll admit to finding “The Other Guys” to be funnier than I expected, although I’ll also freely admit that Will Ferrell is someone who makes me start laughing before he ever really says anything. Of course, you’re forgiven if you spend much of the movie asking, “Marky Mark? Really?”

This flick marked the fourth collaboration between Ferrell and director Adam McKay, along with “Anchorman,” “Talladega Nights” and “Step Brothers.” Odd casting decision aside, McKay basically takes the good-cop, bad-cop genre and supersizes that theme to outlandish proportions.

The highlight came in the form of epic snapshots from a binge-drinking episode straight out of “The Hangover.” The lowlight came when the movie itself was promoted on an episode of “Big Brother” -- which is usually a pretty big tipoff that a movie is going to blow -- with an advance screening serving as a prize after some inane contest or other.

Yet “The Other Guys” overcame that dubious start to turn into a serviceable buddy-cop film (there are rumors that a sequel is in the offing). I still had difficulty getting past the inclusion of Marky Mark, but beyond that, this one offered up the easy laughs that modern-day life all too often necessitates.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: The Return Of Somewhat-Watchable TV, Plus The Pack Is Utterly Lost

The fall season is back, none too soon
For TV critics, a virtual boon
“Sons,” “The League” and “It’s Always Sunny”
Plus “The Office,” “Modern Family” bring the funny
But “Fringe” is what has me amped like a loon

With hackers her agent got tough
When ScarJo appeared in the buff
FBI put their best on the case
Examined every pic at their own pace
Being an FBI agent is so very rough

There was a shadow of a doubt
So his case taken up by those with clout
But his sentence was never commuted
So Troy Davis was executed
Lady Justice’s scale ain’t looking very stout

A speech caused a walkout at the U.N.
Iran causing turmoil, once again
Their leader’s name has a lot of vowels
Now probably some loose bowels
When you’re mad, remember to count to 10

A team with a lack of fight
Makes for a very long night
State’s injuries keep mounting
The losses keep on counting
Enough barks -- when you gonna bite?

Last time …

One Of Those Seasons, As Scooters Slip To 0-2

A narrow loss in Week 2 dropped the squad to winless on the fantasy-football campaign. More troubling is the continuance of a mind-numbing series of injuries that has (literally) hamstrung the team and doomed the season before it really got fully underway.

San Diego’s Mike Tolbert was hurt in Week 1 in the midst of a TD-hat-trick performance, so naturally the best goal-line back in the league fumbled and was denied three times inside the 2-yard line—perhaps my first clue that it was going to be another brutal week.

St. Louis’s Stephen Jackson, Denver’s Knowshon Moreno and Jacksonville’s Marcedes Lewis were all scratches before the games began, which at least spared me the fate favored by other Scooters players: leaving games hurt. Steve Johnson of Buffalo, Lance Moore of New Orleans, DeSean Jackson of Philadelphia and, of course, Michael Vick all missed key time due to injury during the course of their games.

What does it all mean? Well, at 0-2 off the bat and with easily one of the league’s best teams WHEN HEALTHY, it doesn’t make a ton of sense for me to go out and throw cabbage around on the waiver wire. Not that I’m giving up, but some years you just get an unshakeable sense that it wasn’t meant to be, and with a history (in both fantasy and NC State football) littered with these types of seasons, I’ve learned to trust my instinct in this regard.

Basically, when there are more little red crosses next to players’ names than there are other players to replace them, sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.

Forty Years Of Pissed-Off CEOs

When Greenpeace turned 40, an anonymous ad agency marked the occasion by putting together a unique gift: a video capturing some of the impact that the direct-action environmental organization has had.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIIV: Hope Hangs By A Thread, Plus A Somber Weekend Past

Obama visiting NC State
As North Carolina swirls in hate
A government full of self-sabotage
Opponents in patriotic camoflauge
For hope, is it already too late?

State looked like a steaming pile
And Brady threw for about a mile
The Pack isn’t having any fun
The ‘Fins can’t cover anyone
That’s football for you, Scooter style

A new Palin controversy has started
As tales of cheating have been imparted
She jumped NBAers in the sack
Now she’d love to go back
To when people just thought she was ‘tarded

This is what boxing is now
Mental warfare, not boom and pow
Hit women, quite a champion king
Then duck and run in the ring
Hope Ortiz KOs Mayweather—and how

Ceremonies full of emotion and grace
Memorials take the ruins’ place
Remembrances of horrific days
As 9/11 was relived in replays
Take a moment before resuming life’s pace

Last time …

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 45

#1
Jon Stewart is undeniably epic, but his riff on conservative self-victimization ventures boldly into genius territory.

#2
I was glad to come across this relatively uplifting udpate on post-Katrina New Orleans, tempered by the gentle reminder of “We’ll see.”

#3
I had never wanted a punter’s jersey until I read Chris Kluwe’s “douchebags” take on Twitter. Who ever thought a punter could become a fan favorite?

#4
Many don’t care for Michael Irvin, and although I can see reasons why he’s considered a hypocrite, I actually think his analysis is underrated in its honesty. But no matter your feelings on the dude, you have to respect him for his brave foray into gay rights.

#5
Here’s an honest, great essay on police brutality and it’s link to mindfulness. Nothing to add to it, really … just read it.

#6
Will probations and cheating in college football turn out to be the equivalent of the steroid era in baseball?

#7
I couldn’t help but chuckle upon seeing this ad for a weed-whacking golf driver for “surreptiously improving your lie.” Surreptitiously, really? Like the rest of your foursome won’t notice you over there whacking weeds?! “Nothing to see here, mates, just doing a little groundskeeping as we theoretically play golf.”

#8
“What if Michael Vick Were White?” is the early leader in the clubhouse for Stupidest Fucking Column of the Year. Next week: “What if Michael Vick Didn’t Murder all Those Dogs?”

#9
Time marches on. Families grow. Football keeps coming back. I thought this ode to life and football was beautifully written.

#10
So,“Moneyball" has to be the worst concept for a movie at least since, "Dude, Where's My Car?” I mean, right?

Deja Ooooh: Injury Woes Strike Even Earlier For The Scooters

It’s hard to win in fantasy football on any given week, because you never know when your opponent is going to have a career game. And it gets even harder when half your lineup is or goes out on any given Sunday.

That was the case with the Scooters on opening weekend in fantasy football. While I at least I had Stephen “Quad” Jackson for two carries (and 15 points), Knowshon “Hamstring” Moreno exited stage left after a disappointing showing. Mike “Leg” Tolbert chalked up three touchdowns from my bench before succumbing to injury, while Marcedes “Calf” Lewis wasn’t missed too badly from my bench before heading to his own bench. Lance “Groin” Moore (an unfortunate nickname in any endeavor) never even got off the bench, having been ruled out for Week One in the preseason.

You can learn a bit about your team in the first week of fantasy football, but it’s always advisable not to overreact. That being said, the injury bug that bit so hard in ending my title chances a season ago seems to have found a cozy home in the Scooters’ stadium a bit earlier in 2011.

Miss Japan's Real Name Is Yoko Spicoli

Miss Japan is out to give Miss South Carolina (who I dubbed "Peroxide Borat") a run for her money.

But I think the munchies she experienced before, during and after this interview may hurt her in the swimsuit portion of the competition.

Odd Afro Frog Dude Sings "Star Wars" Anthem

I give you "Star Wars" gone horribly wrong.

And French.

Or is that redundant?

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: Remembering 9/11 A Decade Later, Plus Farewell To The Best Buccaneer

The years go by so fast
Has a decade really passed?
Since the world stopped in pain and trouble
And freedom scrambled in the rubble
We’ll remember the lost and brave ‘til the last

The Pack started out very slow
Just how good, we just don’t know
The defense looked stout
But struggled to air it out
Oh well, at least State is 1-0

A debate for the unstable right
No wonder the world’s in a state of fright
Candidates who make you lose sleep
And for the future, make you weep
Batshit vs. crazy carried the night

He liked to cheat, steal and rob
And call himself UNC’s No. 1 knob
Fired Bitch Davis keeps showing up
Getting game balls and saying ‘sup
Dude, walk away and get a fucking job

A star for the NFL’s worst team
Rose to the very top like cream
Lee Roy Selmon was a freaking beast
And now may he rest in peace
The best go so young, it sure does seem

Last time …

Many-Layered, Intense “The Hurt Locker” Examines What Makes A Bomb Team Tick

“The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug.”
--Chris Hedges, New York Times

It’s sort of sad that so many people will remember “The Hurt Locker” for all the wrong reasons. But that’s kind of what happens when a co-producer of a film e-mails Academy Award writers to attempt to dissuade them from voting for another movie (“Avatar”) for best picture. Sure, Nicolas Chartier issued a public apology, but he’ll always be known as the first nominee ever to be banned from a movie award ceremony.

That backdrop unfairly draws away from what was, unquestionably, a tremendous movie. Filled with testosterone, unfathomable violence, stereotyping questions, intensity and slow-motion cinematographic techniques, “The Hurt Locker” shone an unflinching light on war in the Middle East.

From a casting perspective, it has been reported that the casting of relative unknowns was very purposeful, to help protect the authenticity of the landscape of war. It was odd to see Guy Pearce (Staff Sergeant Matt Thompson) introduced as team leader—only to see him killed off in about 10 minutes. His replacement, Sergeant First Class William James (played impeccably by Jeremy Renner), establishes himself as the complete opposite of Thompson, more than a little bit nuts, from jumpstreet. Anthony Mackie is tremendous as Sergeant J.T. Sanborn and Brian Geraghty held his own as Specialist Owen Eldridge, while David Morse was excellent as always, although in just a bit role as Colonel Reed. Sanborn and Eldridge struggle with how far into hell they’re willing to follow James, who appears to have an insatiable death wish. At every turn, James thumbs his nose at uncompromisable military mandates about safety and communication, continuously putting himself and his team in danger—but also nullifying bad guys with some strange mix of luck, cockiness (873 bombs detonated!) and genius.

The screenplay was written by a freelance writer named Mark Boal, who embedded with a bomb squad in 2004 and said he was drawn toward the idea of these specialists who are “going toward what everyone else is running from.” Director Kathryn Bigelow does a terrific job of honoring Boal’s screenplay and experiences, overseeing tremendous work in introducing evil through suddenly shifting camera perspectives. The real-time nature of the film serves to build the intensity, to the point where you’re always expecting some added meaning, something else to happen just around the corner.

There were a few awkward aspects of the flick, with the relationship James forged with the hustler kid, Beckham, feeling a bit forced. Also, positioning Ralph Fiennes as a mercenary didn’t quite click, as he’s not exactly a “tough guy” type. I also found it really odd that the phrase the title comes from (used in Viet Nam to mean “in bad shape” or in a bad situation) wasn’t referenced at all in the movie, which was originally titled “The Something Jacket.” And finally, some articles indicated that veterans took issue with some of the lack of protocol and overall team behavior depicted in the film, saying that Renner’s level of risk-taking wouldn’t have been accepted. However, Boal spoke to more than 100 soldiers in doing his research, lending credence to his work and pointing out that, perhaps in such a leaderless region and situation, the cowboy nature can take hold.

The filming was done in Jordan, with reports that four or more crews would work simultaneously in 120-degree heat. The gritty, physically demanding nature of the work came through in the filming, when Renner hurt an ankle during one scene, stopping the filming for a week and throwing the entire project into jeopardy. On top of all that, the crews were shot at and had debris thrown at them as part of a legitimately hostile environment. After dealing with all of these variables, the crew had the unenviable task of taking 200 hours of footage and distilling it down into 2 hours and 13 minutes.

In the end, the movie is largely about James’s inability to reconcile both of his worlds, his struggle to balance the personas he has to live with in each; somehow, I think being married to Kate from “Lost” would make that job easier, but James just can’t puzzle it all out. Eventually, James begins to lose his mind and crack up, losing sanity to the never-ending chase, the ongoing futility of searching for answers in ratholes. When he eventually hallucinates about Beckham being turned into a living bomb, accidentally shoots Eldridge and stages a one-man invasion of an Iraqi slum, we see he’s hit rock bottom.

At one point, James views life moving on after an enormous explosion, seeing a kite being flown by an oblivious boy who accepts bombings as a natural part of his day, setting the stage for one of the tremendous scenes in the movie. James and Sanborn have a lengthy talk in the Humvee about the value of life, the role of risk and the presence of the future. Sanborn shares that he doesn’t want to die without having a son, that he is now ready for that, while James explains that he can’t process that line of thinking, doesn’t allow himself to think about or view his work in terms of risk or rolling the dice.

Near the end, we cut to James pushing his child through a store in a grocery cart, visibly struggling to come to terms with the fact that his life is now about buying cereal. In a heartbreaking scene, James comes to a decision as he’s playing with his son, saying, “As you get older, some of the things you love might not seem so special anymore … And the older you get, the fewer things you really love. And by the time you get to my age, maybe it’s only one or two things. With me, I think it’s one.” Essentially, James tells his family that the only thing he loves are bombs, before doing the unthinkable and abandoning his family to sign up for another tour of duty.

“The Hurt Locker” had a delayed release in the U.S., yet still overcame Chartier’s transgression to take home a stagging six Oscars. Awards aside, it says here that the sheer depth and range of emotion evoked in the film place it confidently among any war movie ever made.

The Scooters Feel A Draft, Part Two: Upping The Risk/Reward Ante In 2011

In Part I, we covered a bit of a shift in drafting philosophy for the Scooters this year. With an eye on more dynamic, distance scorers, I favored more of a risky approach, resulting in a solid first half of the draft.

Of course, any good fantasy football owner will tell you that you largely make your hay at the back end of the draft, so without further ado, here’s what happened there …

10th Round, 133rd Overall: Davone Bess, WR, Miami Dolphins
Miami’s new offense will feature a lot more three- and four-wide receiver sets, which means that, even if Bess doesn’t beat out Brian Hartline for an official starting job, he’ll be on the field plenty. Bess has become a consistent safety valve for jittery Chad Henne (more on him later, unfortunately), and I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Bess reel in 75 passes in 2011. The key for him is to prove that he’s more than a move-the-chains guy—that he can be a red-zone finisher as well.

11th Round, 148th Overall: Marcedes Lewis, TE, Jacksonville Jaguars
On the off chance that Graham begins boxing out instead of running solid patterns, I couldn’t pass up the chance to add one of last year’s fantasy surprises to bolster my tight end position. Lewis chalked up 10 touchdowns in 2010, and while I’m not counting on him repeating that this season, I do think he will still put up respectable numbers in a short-passing offense. At the very least, he’s a legitimate threat near the goal line for the Jags, and a great guy to have on hand to push Graham. I grabbed Lewis in hopes that the Dolphins defense would make it back around to my 12th-round position, but that strategy backfired quickly when the other Miami fan in the league scooped them up a few picks later. Oh well.

12th Round, 161st Overall: Kansas City, D/ST, Chiefs
Pretty much all the like-to-have defenses were gone at this point, so I tabbed the Chefs here because our rules are that you have to start somebody. I do think KC has put together a young, promising unit, and with Dexter McCluster around, there is the chance for a return score every now and again. I do think the retarded safety-related new kickoff rules will have an impact in this area of fantasy football, and I’m OK with playing waiver-wire bingo with defenses/special teams if needed as the season progresses.

13th Round, 176th Overall: Brandon Gibson, WR, St. Louis Rams
I had Gibson, Antonio Brown and Andre Roberts pegged as late-round receivers that I was highly interested in, so I figured Gibson was a quality selection here. Sam Bradford aired it out last year as a rookie, and I think the Rams will have a fairly wide-open offense again in 2011 (though let’s not get crazy guys, I do have Steven Jackson, after all). He surprised a season ago, and as long as he’s not buried in the wideout rotation in St. Louis, he should be fine as a No. 5 wide receiver.



14th Round, 189th Overall: Antonio Brown, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers
Imagine my surprise and happiness when Brown was still lurking when my pick rolled around again. Snaring him gave me two of the three sleeper, late-round wideouts I had been targeting prior to the draft. Not that Brown is going to win me a lot of weeks, but I certainly felt even better about this choice after he put up two long scores in a preseason game just an hour after our draft ended. Whether he emerges in Pittsburgh’s rotation or becomes trade bait for my team, I was more than good with rounding out my corps with Brown as the No. 6.

15th Round, 204th Overall: Matt Bryant, K, Falcons
Bryant was ranked respectably among fantasy kickers for this year, and being that I didn’t have a kicker yet, I thought I’d go ahead and draft him. I was playing a bit of a game of chicken with the only other owner in the league who didn’t already have two quarterbacks, with my eye on (*gulp*) Chad Henne of the Dolphins—I was going out on a bit of a limb in thinking that he didn’t have any eyes on Henne, but I was OK with that. Anyway, Atlanta should put up plenty of points this year, making Bryant a fine starter as my placekicker.

16th Round, 217th Overall: Tampa Bay, D/ST, Buccaneers
I was in need of a second defense, and I figured any team that plays the Panthers and Scam Newton twice a year was a solid choice. Tampa seems to be an emerging team, with some good, young pass-rushing talent, and when you toss in the shocking news that had just come out that one-man-crime-wave Aqib Talib wasn’t suspended, they felt like a solid fit here.

17th Round, 232nd Overall: Shaun Suisham, K, Pittsburgh Steelers
I had sort of heard of him before, he plays for a legit offense and he doesn’t have the same bye week as my other kicker, so … welcome aboard, chief. Also, Scrabble is one of our tiebreakers, so a name like “Shaun Suisham” has to be worth a few points there. Plus, Miami’s Dan Carpenter, a “Joe Dirt” lookalike, was tabbed one choice ahead of me.



18th Round, 245th Overall: Chad Henne, QB, Miami Dolphins
In a god-forgive-me pick, yes, my own personal Mr. Irrelevant made it all the way to my final choice. Miami has a lame-duck coach and trouble filling the seats, so they seem dedicated to more of an air-it-out offense in 2011. From a real-life perspective, that approach feels destined to end horrifically; from a fantasy football perspective, I think Henne has a chance to put up some decent stats that will justify him as a backup signal-caller. The Dumpoff King now has Reggie Bush to shuffle it off to, and hopefully Brandon Marshall (must.not.make.straightjacket.crack) will fall into a long score every now and again as well. And if not doesn’t pan out, well … he was the freaking 245th overall pick in the draft. I’ll be OK.


Quick Wrapup
For a team that hinges a lot on Vick, it stung that Kyle Orton, Josh Freeman and Sam Bradford were all nabbed just before I was going to choose them. Some bad luck involved there, but I also arguably waited too long on nailing down an established backup quarterback.

In hearing about my choice of Vick, my wife shooked her head and paused for a while. Then she quietly asked, “Nobody else who has raped anybody or killed animals, OK?” Sure thing.

I think.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: Football Returns None Too Soon, Plus Loony Juice The Drink Of Choice As Elections Near

At long last, real football is back
Questions abound for the ‘Fins and Pack
Can Glennon replace Wilson for State?
Can Henne lower his high mistake rate?
Optimism abounds until the first pick or sack!

Destroying the US wasn’t enough
Now Cheney returns looking rough
His memoirs etched on tablets of stone
For a villain who makes us all groan
Just leave us to clean up your shitty stuff

Across headlines it did resound
Dementia for the queen of hoops round
A tough time for Pat Summitt
As her memory does plummet
But nothing will slow her down

A government ground to a halt
Everyone elected bears some fault
Candidates with crazy eyes
Spreading ridiculous lies
Only want to protect every billionaire vault

Politics, money dominate college ball
Conferences fight for the biggest haul
A&M no longer the Big 12’s
Now everybody save yourselves
Where will all the dominoes fall?

Last time …

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 44

#1
RIP to Chris Hondros, one of those rare talents who was able to elevate photography to artistry and wield a piece of technology like an elegant paintbrush. NC State -- and journalism -- lost one of the best, tragically.

#2
If you’ve ever been to San Francisco, you’ve undoubtedly noticed the jammed-together homes. Well, this enterprising owner worked around permits by building a fold-in garage into his Victorian house. Bravo, sir; bravo.

#3
Your reaction to the news that the last typewriter manufacturer has shut its doors probably falls into one of two camps: 1) “Man, I can’t believe that!” or 2) “Holy shit, people were still manufacturing typewriters!?”
My trusty typewriter and I spent way too much time together, and not only did it get me through college, but I still have it. Farewell, typewriters.

#4
Yeah, I know the NFL Draft is now several months past, but I have to say: The ESPN Bizarro World honchos thought it best to put Jon Gruden in charge of grading quarterbacks and Bill Parcells in charge of compiling the draft board. Who the fuck thought it was OK to make these appointments on Opposite Day?

#5
I don’t have much to add to this one: “Go the Fuck to Sleep” is just a flat-out epic children’s book.

#6
Maybe it’s just me, but after the offseason that Ohio State had, adding a guy who just got arrested on felony theft charges at a casino to your coaching staff doesn’t feel like, you know, a dramatic change in direction for the program.

#7
I fell in love with this visual representation of “how books work.”

#8
I watched all of the NBA playoffs and really was only left with two vivid impressions: Chris Bosh kind of looks like Snoop Dogg and Russell Westbrook has tiny ears.

#9
I’d like to think that we can all agree that planking has jumped laid down on the shark.

#10
The Miami Dolphins haven’t had much to cheer about for years, but Jim Mandich always seemed to find a reason to do so anyway. You will be missed, Mad Dog.

The Scooters Feel A Draft, Part One: Upping The Risk/Reward Ante In 2011

A year ago, the Scooters put together a pretty stellar draft, yet still had to overcome a litany of injuries to limp into the playoffs. This year, the team looks strong coming out of draft day yet again, but it isn’t built to withstand losing a key component.

In terms of straight value, Michael Vick was pretty much a no-brainer midway through the first round. I followed that up landing four of the top 32 running backs, according to CBS, as well as a deep—if not star-strewn—wide receiver corps.

Going a bit outside of my philosophy, I took a few high-risk, high-reward types early in the draft this year, as well as choosing dudes that I flat-out don’t like as “people.” And I did so knowing full well that my season, my draft and my team all ride on Vick, and his ability to stay healthy, stay out of trouble and stay consistent.

Shit … why am I shaking?


1st Round, Eighth Overall: Michael Vick, QB, Philadelphia Eagles
After seeing the top seven quarterbacks go in the first 27 picks in last year’s draft, and no changes forthcoming for our league’s passer-heavy point system, I wasn’t going to be left without a signal-caller this year. So when Michael Vick fell in my lap with the eighth overall pick, I couldn’t pass him up—even though my hatred for all things Vick is well-documented. My attempts to hedge against this hold-your-nose selection with an established quarterback were thwarted in the middle rounds, meaning that I may have to explore trade or free-agency options should Vick be shot bitten injured at any point during the season.

2nd Round, 21st Overall: Stephen Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams
With the proven, non-committee tailbacks going quickly, I was happy to scoop up Jackson with this pick. I see the Rams surprising on offense this season, and I also anticipate Jackson becoming more of a factor in the passing game in 2011. He’s always been a beastly workhorse, and with Sam Bradford developing at quarterback and Josh McDaniel on hand to pilot the offensive attack, the hope is that Jackson will find a little more room to roam this year—and divert S-Jax off the Earl Campbell-ish path St. Louis had been pushing him down.

3rd Round, 36th Overall: DeSean Jackson, WR, Philadelphia Eagles
Again, I’m not much of a Jackson fan, but he was the surest receiver still on the board and the opportunity to pair him up with Vick was an added bonus that made this selection a bit easier. Outside of Jamaal Charles, most of my recent teams have been missing the distance scorers that are rewarded big-time in my league, and the prospect of some 60-yarders for the Vick-Jackson combo is certainly enticing. Of course, the 140-pound (75 pounds of that being mouth) Jackson always runs the risk of being broken in half, which adds an element of nervousness to this pick. Throw in the fact that his value is a direct result of Vick’s presence, and well, this one is going to make for some nervous moments.

4th Round, 49th Overall: Knowshon Moreno, RB, Denver Broncos
Probably my least-favorite choice of the draft. I was torn between jumping early for tight end Antonio Gates or selecting running back Cedric Benson here as well, but I had my eye on a few late-round tight ends and I didn’t trust Benson in this spot. Something about Moreno has me intrigued, even though it is questionable how the Broncos front office views him and the presence of Willis McGahee is highly troublesome. But the good news is that this is likely a make-or-break season for Moreno—if he’s ever going to emerge and produce to his talents, this has to be the year. Although one has to think just having a locker near Tim Tebow will make him a better and more righteous player.



5th Round, 64th Overall: Steve Johnson, WR, Buffalo Bills
With Cedric Benson taken one spot ahead of me here, I evaluated Johnson as the best remaining No. 1 receiver left on the draft board, and I was pretty happy to snare him in this spot, with Percy Harvin also under some consideration. I envision Beefalo trailing quite a bit this year, meaning that Ryan Fitzpatrick will be airing it out once again—and he and Johnson developed quite a bit of chemistry a season ago. I considered this a bit of a bounce-back pick after the Moreno selection threw me off my rhythm, so I was hopeful that this would help kick-start my drafting groove again. Quick shoutout to Stevie: how about fewer “Why So Serious” T-shirts, less drops that lose games and more touchdowns … cool?

6th Round, 77th Overall: Joseph Addai, RB, Indianapolis Colts
Still a bit unsettled about the running back situation following the Moreno choice, I scooped Addai here with little hesitation. I have him pegged as a guy due for a rebound year, and with Peyton Manning’s status a bit up in the air, my hope is that Indy looks to the ground game early in the season. Addai has always been productive in stretches, and his skill set as a receiving threat out of the backfield is highly appealing once Manning returns to form. Just hoping he doesn’t become a pain in my neck as he has for Peyton (ouch). As a No. 3—and potential No. 2 (yes, like the poop)—running back, I dig Addai in this spot.

7th Round, 92nd Overall: Mike Tolbert, RB, San Diego Chargers
I was all set to grab Josh Freeman as my backup quarterback, but he was scooped up just ahead of my pick, so I had to shift gears. I was excited to see Tolbert still available in this area, so I rounded out my running back corps with the bruiser who emerged big-time a season ago. I’m not sold on Ryan Matthews as a legitimate full-time back, and rumblings had been that Tolbert is the San Diego back to have at this juncture (editor’s note: when Norv Turner is involved, all bets are off). If Tolbert is your No. 4 tailback, I think you’re in pretty good shape at this key position group, and that’s how I feel. The upside is I’m done with running backs after seven rounds; of course, that means I could—and did—see some really intriguing guys available later in the draft that I (obviously) couldn’t grab.



8th Round, 105th Overall: Lance Moore, WR, New Orleans Saints
After doing my predraft research, I concluded that Moore was a guy I wanted on my team. Yes, Drew Brees spreads it around quite a bit, but with some of Marques Colston’s injury concerns, there is potential for Moore to emerge as Brees’s favorite target. The other factor is that I tend to like to collect as many good players as I can that are a part of stellar offenses, and Moore fits into that equation. He’s been battling injuries this preseason, so hopefully he can find some voodoo healing magic on Canal Street. By pegging him as my No. 3 wideout here, I’m feeling pretty good about my drafting work thus far.

9th Round, 120th Overall: Jimmy Graham, TE, New Orleans Saints
With the inevitable run on tight ends occurring earlier, I thought this was a nice spot to land another guy that seized my attention early in the draft prep process. But it was a tough choice: I was also considering Sam Bradford, Davone Bess and the Bears defense in this spot (too many Bs!). Our league doesn’t allow for rebound points, but this ex-hoopster at Miami played well enough down the stretch a season ago that New Orleans felt fine jettisoning Jeremy Shockey, who has had about as many drops as tattoos lately. My pick of Graham felt even better when Brees targeted the hell out of him one day later in a preseason game. So halfway through the draft, I was getting a strong conviction about the way the draft was unfolding and the way my team was building.

Stay tuned for Part II soon …

Jimpressions, Shakespeare-Style

OK, so not all these were dead on (I was a bit disappointed in his version of Paul Giamatti), but still … pretty damn epic. It takes an enormous talent to pull this off.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI: End Of Days In North Carolina?, Plus Steve Jobs Takes His Last Bite Of The Apple

The computer got to shakin’
Some folks got to flakin’
Now Irene is headed our way
Hope it doesn’t decide to stay
N.C. just hurricanin’ and earthquakin’

LSU embarrassments in piles
Violations, guns and 911 dials
Jefferson stomping a dude? Never!
Only thing he connected on, ever
Might be best kick of the year for Miles

You had the personality of a toad
An ice queen and a very wide load
Spent your birthdays at Target
So get in your car ‘n’ git
Just drive on the right side of the road

Didn’t think they got dirtier than Fairley
But Suh might be dirtier, barely
The Lions have talent to spare
But play like they just don’t care
Might be why they win rarely

Farewell to Mr. Steve Jobs
As Apple’s stock causes sobs
Created a culture of style
He’ll be missed for a while
But customers’ll still come in mobs

Last time …

“Water For Elephants” Stares Down The Leap From Good To Great, Then Shys Away

I don’t make it out to the theaters very often these days, so when I do, it’s usually for a flick that either just looks like there’s no conceivable way it could blow or I have some attachment to. The latter was the case when the decision was made to take in “Water for Elephants.”

I read the novel primarily because it was created as part of NanoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month (October). I’ve participated in this event, which involves trying to write a novel in 30 days, so I was amazed that someone had actually generated something worthwile out of it. I really enjoyed “Water for Elephants” by Sara Gruen -- in fact, it achieved the #2 ranking in the Scooties book awards for 2009.

Director Frances Lawrence’s film, based on the screenplay by Richard LaGravenese, was very true to Gruen’s work. As in the novel, aspiring veterinarian Jacob Jankowksi (Robert Pattinson) drops out of Cornell just before graduation and runs away to the circus after his parents die and their business is lost. In unlikely fashion, he earns himself into the confidences of August Rosenbluth (Christoph Waltz), the circus owner and head animal trainer for Benzini Brothers Circus. Recognizing Jacob’s knowledge of and temperament with animals, August gives him a job trying to train a stubborn elephant, Rosie. Along the way, Jacob becomes smitten with Marlena (Reese Witherspoon), putting himself in constant danger with the moody and oft-violent August, which propels the plot toward the sort-of-dramatic finish.

In terms of casting, most of the shaky reviews have centered on this aspect of the film. Witherspoon was very good as usual, and Waltz captured the tempestuous August nearly perfectly. But Pattinson was hard to take in the lead role, and he has suffered withering criticism due to the lack of on-screen chemistry between himself and Witherspoon.

The device used to relate the story is a 90-year-old Jacob, who tells his story in old age. However, his living situation is not depicted at all in the movie, and none of the melancholy and desperation that define his final years in a retirement home are shown here. Jacob is much more bitter in the book version, and I found his relegation to the background something of a missing element in the translation to the big screen. After all, in the novel, Jacob’s battle for latter-life relevance really comprises an important second peg for the plot to stand on.

Some feel that some of the middle-of-the-road reviews for “Water for Elephants” stem from some controversy over the treatment of animals in the movie. However, I felt that the movie was purely missing the spark and personality needed to push it to another level. The cinematography was great, the treatment of circus life was well rendered, the stunts and animal work were nearly unbelievable—but the film felt like it was mostly void of passion and heart. As others have noted, Lawrence appeared to take the easy way out by taking no risks with this flick, and I feel he really missed the mark with the casting of Pattinson, which severely hindered the movie’s chances to really shine.

The result is a nice, well-done movie -- but one that seems to lack in the intangibles that really seize the viewer’s soul.

What's This Magical White Stuff?

In mid-August, Wellington and Aukland, New Zealand, got snow for the first time in 30 years. This is what it looked like.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: Glory’s Last Stand Had All The Storylines Necessary, Plus Things Look Bleak For The “U”

Bradley won the PGA
Or did Dufner give it away?
High drama at glory’s last stand
With tension to beat the band
What a way to end the year’s play

Rodman talked of lessons learned
And all the bridges he’s burned
Quite a Hall of Fame speech
For a character beyond reach
Perhaps “The Worm” has turned?

Let’s be clear:
Jim Thome deserves a beer
But if a dude brings the goods
And hits 600 homers in the woods
Does anyone even hear?

For the beach, we did long yearn
Like Casper, avoided sunburn
Melancholy feelings ran deep
For memories we’ll always keep
But we’ll always find a way to return

More scandal at the U
A jock-sniffer describing a Dade zoo
A Ponzi schemer run wild
Makes USC look pretty mild
Not totally surprised … you?

Last time …

Remembering The Fascinating, Meteoric Rise And Fall Of “Twin Peaks”

In an effort to do battle with the summer doldrums and malaise that arise from every worthwhile show going on hiatus, we elected to check out “Twin Peaks," an early ‘90s series that I had never watched. What I found was a mesmerizing story that rather quickly and abruptly turned into a cautionary tale about the triumphs and pitfalls of originality in mainstream media.

The brainchild of creators David Lynch and Mark Frost, the show kicked off with the shocking murder of high school student Laura Palmer -- a crime never meant to be solved by Lynch and Frost. The resulting investigation, in which nearly every resident of Twin Peaks was found to be either hiding something or a suspect, was far-reaching, incorporating elements of religion, the spiritual world, Native American lore, UFOs, demonic possession and a villanous natural world.

After a phenomenal first season that had us burning through DVDs with frightening speed, “Twin Peaks” embarked on a truly mind-boggling second season. It was a menagerie of bad, confusing and illogical plot lines, from transtesticle FBI agents to superhuman housewives, and though Lynch and Frost did their best to salvage the series at the end of the season, it was too late -- just when it was starting to feel like “Twin Peaks” again, it ended. As I watched the train slowly careen into the forest, I couldn’t help but wonder: Has any show ever gone off track more quickly?

I do understand Lynch’s excuse that suits destroyed the series -- after all, Laura Palmer’s killer was never intended to be revealed, but the network demanded it -- but I feel that’s a bit of a simplistic answer. Lynch is right to be bitter and full of regret (he maintains that his idea was that Laura was the tree, and all the other secrets were just branches.), but his own ego and hubris certainly played a role as well. Not only did he cast himself as Gordon Cole, but both he and Frost allowed themselves to be distracted by the pursuit of movie efforts in the second season, relegating “Twin Peaks” back to “just” a TV show and creating a void of oversight. A turnstile of guest directors stymied the show’s momentum and more often led you to think, “Where the hell is this going?”

The meteoric rise and fall of “Twin Peaks” is a shame, because at its best, it was such a formula-shattering show, intertwining comedy and creepiness, sci-fi and after-school special, horror and drama, love story and murder mystery, soap opera and cop show. The fighting-against-convention bent extended to casting, where, on the one hand, Lynch cast a litany of hot young actresses; on the other, he tabbed a set dresser in the vital role of “Bob” basically on accident. [But for me, the actor who stole the most scenes was Miguel Ferrer, who played the hysterical forensic examiner Albert Rosenfield.]

It’s hard not to believe something special was at work on “Twin Peaks,” especially when cast members admitted that they experienced strange dreams and some talked about spirits while the filming was going on. The brutal weather endured for the shooting of the pilot made filming very difficult, but the impact on atmosphere and tension was very important to the show ever being picked up by the network.

There will always be unanswered questions (why did Jocelyn Packard become part of a bedside hotel table? Who is this Diane that Cooper constantly spoke to on the dictaphone? And what was the deal that Cooper truly made at the very end?), but the DVD set did a pretty good job of providing context for what went right—and wrong—for “Twin Peaks.” I was disappointed that they didn’t include the European pilot ending, which wrapped up the whole series in case it had to stand alone and never made it to network.

I’ll say that “Twin Peaks” did a tremendous job of capturing my riveted attention over the course of a week and a half -- it’s only a shame that the series itself couldn’t sustain its own momentum for a much longer period of time.

Just In Case You Needed Another Reason To Drink Guinness ...

Beach. Beer. Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.

These are a few of my favorite things.

Penny Opposes The Galactic Slave Trade

Good stuff from Kaley Cuoco of “Big Bang Theory” here, as she derides the “galactic slave trade” after so many have objectified “sexy slave Leia” at conventions. But I mean, couldn’t they convince Kaley to at least model this costume for this clip?

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: The Dolphins Already Pissing Away The Upcoming Season, Plus The OBX Beckons

Once was an AFC power
Now all their moves make us sour
Stuck with an already-booed Henne
‘Cuz Orton cost many a penny
Guess next year it’ll be Bill Cowher

A Congress of stupid fucks
Threaten a default for yucks
Compromise ain’t heard
As useful as a frozen turd
Sometimes America really sucks

On “Police Academy,” he was great
Unblockable for the Colts and Michigan State
Would-be blockers he tossed
Another NFL legend lost
RIP Bubba Smith, big #78

The Dow Jones took a huge hit
400 points is quite a bit
Worries about European debt
The Wall Street is always a bet
That’s why I don’t F with that shit

Headed off Outer Banks way
For sun, recovery and play
And to say a final goodbye
A house that’s made us laugh and cry
Yo Emily—stay the hell away!

Last time …

“The Mountain” Via Time-Lapse

The Mountain from TSO Photography on Vimeo.

TSO Photography does incredibly inventive work with time-lapse photography, as evidenced here by filming of El Teide in Spain.

Powerful stuff.

By Taking Chances And Tackling The Controversial, “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” Stands Out

The times when I’m surprised in a positive way by a movie are few and far between. So maybe that’s why “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” resonated with me for a while.

This flick, adapted from a novel of the same name by Ned Vizzini, touched on the difference that confidence can make in life, combining elements of a comedy, romance and a coming-of-age movie. Written and directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” is powered by unexpected and risky casting that somehow worked. The lead role was handled by goofy, win-you-over Keil Gilchrist as Craig, a troubled, semi-suicidal youth struggling with adolescence and a world that’s just a little too big for him at the moment. His parents are played by Jim Gaffigan and Lauren Graham, who are known more as comic types, while Emma Roberts appears as Noelle, the much-more-troubled girl who helps him see his problems really aren’t that bad.

Jeremy Davies, an actor I really like, had only a niche role in this one, and I certainly wouldn’t have minded if it had been expanded. But it is NC State’s own Zach Galifianakis who brings the biggest—and most unexpected—punch. In a role where he has to stretch far beyond what he’s been asked to do to date, the hysterical comedian plays Bobby, a kind of mentor and challenger to Craig. Eventually, Bobby learns as much from Craig as vice versa, with the message being that it seems like time moves slower when you are younger.

“See, that's the part I don't get, Craig. I mean, you're cool, you're smart, you're talented. You have a family that loves you. You know, what I would do just to be you, for just a day? I would … I would do so much. I would … I don't know. I would just … I'd just live. Like it meant something.”

There are plenty of awkward scenes, but that is partially by design, as there was a delicate balancing act between humor and the serious issues that go along with psychiatry and suicide. As Craig sees the beauty in Noelle that she doesn’t see in herself -- even her scars have glitter -- he himself finds a gift for art hidden inside him, and he is sort of forced to man the F up and put his problems in context.

Throw in a really good soundtrack and you have one of the biggest sleeper movies I’ve seen in a while. Because “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” is a film about taking the damaged and making it beautiful.

And I believe our world could use a bit more of that.

“Okay, I know you're thinking, ‘What is this? Kid spends a few days in the hospital and all his problems are cured?’ But I'm not. I know I'm not. I can tell this is just the beginning. I still need to face my homework, my school, my friends. My dad. But the difference between today and last Saturday is that for the first time in a while, I can look forward to the things I want to do in my life. Bike, eat, drink, talk. Ride the subway, read, read maps. Make maps, make art. Finish the Gates application. Tell my dad not to stress about it. Hug my mom. Kiss my little sister. Kiss my dad. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Take her on a picnic. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia. Have a party. Tell people my story. Volunteer at 3 North. Help people like Bobby. Like Muqtada. Like me. Draw more. Draw a person. Draw a naked person. Draw Noelle naked. Run, travel, swim, skip. Yeah, I know it's lame, but, whatever. Skip anyway. Breathe … Live.”

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: The NFL Has Finally Returned, Plus Karma Finally Catches Up To Bitch Davis

The issues weren’t white and black
Arguing over billions of jack
The fans gave them a life raft
Then we still get the shaft
But F it -- at least football is back

Obama tried to make the issue plainer
After more lies from weepy Boehner
The debt has no easy cure
But all that I know for sure
Is we need a government that’s saner

She was quite a talent, they say
But couldn’t keep her demons at bay
Amy Winehouse has passed
Outpouring of emotion came fast
She could have turned it a different way

76 lives was the final toll
Many more was a madman’s goal
Norway was the massacre site
Home to tears, confusion and fright
At the hands of one with no conscience or soul

So this is the Carolina Way?
Pay Butch 3 mil to just go away
Had a cash-laden recruiting pitch
But he was O’Brien’s bitch
Guess lying and cheating pays all day

Last time …

"The Truth About The Economy"

After weeks of debate about debt ceilings and last night's address by President Obama and the confusing rebuttal by John Boehner (thankfully, it featured no weeping), perhaps some cold, hard, succinct facts about the economy are in order.

I would say enjoy, but that would be difficult.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: Clarke Perseveres, Makes It Dusty To Watch The Open, Plus The NFL Lockout Ain’t Over Yet

Darren Clarke inspired McDowell and Rory
Who added to Northern Ireland glory
But his turn to raise the Claret Jug
And from a Guinness, he took a slug
From tragedy to the top, what an amazing story

Team USA played with skill and guile
But the mistakes, they started to pile
An epic stage for a national choke
But Japan’s heart was no joke
A nation so broken but now can smile

UNC just keeps on cheating
And Marvin Austin keeps on Tweeting
Butch still around is absurd
But that sound you just heard
Is thousands of rams bitching and bleating

From Steve Williams, Tigger did split
Did it on his site, another classy hit
One douche shit-canned another
But all the whining, oh brother
You’re both just piles of shit

Just get it done, NFL
I mean, seriously, what the hell?
A battle of millionaries
Against the billionaires
Yet it’s the fans who buy what you sell

Last time …

King’s Latest Could Be Called “When Thelma & Louise Meet Meth”

“Life is basically a rusty hubcap lying in the ditch at the side of the road, and life goes on … This is as good as it gets. Her ship will not come in. There are no boats for nobody, and no camera is filming her life. This is reality, not a reality show.”

It would be difficult to top the dark feel of Stephen King’s most recent novel, “Full Dark, No Stars.” Yet he attempted to do so with his (very) short story that recently appeared in The Atlantic, titled “Herman Wouk is Still Alive.”

In this brief piece, King examines sad, despairing existences through the veil of white trash. He touches on the current state of the economy, the brutalities of aging, class divides and the war, in the context and from the perspective of two trailer brides who have no business parenting.

“Every time you see bright stuff, somebody turns on the rain machine. The bright stuff is never colorfast.”

Juxtaposed with the perspective of two successful, elderly poets (yet even these two are not entirely what they seem) trying to rekindle old passions, the end result is essentially “Thelma & Louise” gone way, way wrong. There is beauty in the writing, but it’s over so quickly you almost don’t know how to react or respond—which only speaks to the magic that King is still so ever-capable of.

“S” Is For “Shooting,” But Also For “Singing”

Filed under “Things Could Be Worse,” this video depicts what lengths a heroic kindergarten teacher will go to to distract her students from the “narco gun massacre” taking place just outside the class. As one commenter pointed out, this just further reinforces how dramatically underpaid teachers truly are.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: Politicans Can Even Argue Over Crippling Debt, Plus The Need To Hit The Lottery Increases

Description of debt talks?
Just a lot of bitching and squawks
Rich partisans argue over words
A bunch of hypocritical turds
Guess bullshit talks and accountability walks

Players take an All-Star pass
Would rather fish for bass
Would rather work on tans
Than an opportunity to win back fans
National pasttime, my ass

James Harrison’s full of vinegar and piss
Cheater and douchebag also on his resume list
He’ll be on a police blotter
‘Cuz he’s nothing but a cheap shotter
He’s part of the NFL I don’t miss

The fraud they called “The Rocket”
Kept plenty of ‘roids in his pocket
Lied to one and all
But skated on a mistrial call
Cheating Auburn and the Patsies say, “Don’t knock it”!

Losing faith in a world out of reach
Worried about lessons I can teach
Violence spun out of control
Politics stuck in a black hole
I just want to live at the beach

Last time …

Filed Under "Things You Can't Make Up"

Propelled By Norton, “Stone” Takes No Pause In Forcing Consideration Of Life’s Heaviest Questions

When I was looking for something to watch the other day via free on-demand, I stumbled across “Stone,” which I’d never heard of. It caught my eye because of the acting combination of Robert DeNiro and Edward Norton, two tremendous character actors. While DeNiro has damaged his career by making some mind-numbing choices in recent years and Norton tends to just disappear for years at a time, I was intrigued enough to roll the dice on “Stone.”

DeNiro is aging quickly, making his role as world-weary, nearing-retirement parole officer Jack Mabry a good fit for him. Norton is striking as a corn-rowed-out convict (Gerald “Stone” Creeson”) up for parole eight years after playing a part in murdering his grandparents and then burning down their house. Norton reprises elements of his roles from both “Primal Fear” and “American History X,” two amazing films that demonstrated his depth of talent and ability to evoke intimidation that belies his appearance.

The cast is rounded out by the always-underrated Frances Conroy (most notable for her turn in “Six Feet Under”) and the still-striking Milla Jovovich, who is still most recognized for her omnipresence in the “Resident Evil” franchise—however, the peanut gallery pointed out that she should be most noteworthy due to the fact that parts of her anatomy could be used to tune in far-flung radio stations in Tokyo. Both Conroy and Jovovich played damaged and hard-to-judge wives, of Mabry and Creeson, respectively.

I’m not familiar with director John Curran’s other work, which includes “The Painted Veil” and “We Don’t Live Here Anymore,” but the cinematography (primarily shot in Michigan) was well-done in “Stone.” The plot hinged largely on transgressions only hinted at, especially on the part of DeNiro, though we know his character is hugely flawed based on a very powerful opening scene. As the movie progress, Curran turns his piece on the question of who, really, is more evil or immoral—Mabry or Creeson? Both are wary of the process and seek to use it to their advantage where they can.

The most difficult aspect of the flick to reconcile is whether Creeson has truly found a religion that is changing him, that is helping him to get in harmony and “hear” more clearly. Mabry, obviously, is skeptical, though both men are changing in opposite ways as the film progresses. By the end of the movie, Curran asks us to determine whether we should feel sorry for Mabry, flipping the roles of these two men who appear to be headed in opposite directions. And while Mabry’s wife Madylyn and Creeson’s wife Lucetta are left to deal with their own shocking actions, the movie closes with questions about who is now “hearing” on the right path.

“Stone” forces us to consider heavy issues involving religion, guilt, fate (most notably, Mabry would not have ever had to deal with Creeson if he would have agreed to give up his current case files in anticipation of his retirement), atonement, sin, hypocrisy, and the idea of whether people ever truly change. These enormous queries weigh down the movie with a darkness and pessimism that can be difficult to bear, but I still found this film to be thought-provoking (the symbolism of the fly is truly mesmerizing) and much different than what I anticipated.

I read that the movie wasn’t reviewed well and positively bombed at the box office, if those things matter in the stature of a flick anymore. Norton still has a magic about him in roles such as the one offered him in this one, and his performance is enough to merit consideration to watch—and consider—the enigmatic, difficult-to-categorize “Stone.”

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: Goodbye To A Pack Legend, Plus “The Office” Makes An Odd Decision

When Lo Charles’ grave got dug
Pack heart strings got a tug
A lost link to a championship past
But at least, now at long last,
V’s got somebody to hug

A child abandoned and lost
For others, paid the ultimate cost
Who will speak for little Caylee
As her mother dances on daily?
With the trash, justice has been tossed

More trouble brewing in Chapel Hill
Of cheating, haven’t had their fill
Every day Bitch has the top job
Integrity takes a hit at UNC-Snob
But they really don’t get it … still

Blood taken once more than thrice
Veins are paying the price
For health, it’s a small fee
Ready to feel again like me
But what it is? Still no dice

Not to be an “Office” hater
But really -- fucking James Spader?!
That’s a death knell you just heard
Because this direction’s absurd
Michael Scott, can you come back later?

Last time …