“The Happiest Baby on the Block” Says “Colic, Schmolic”

Apparently, peaceful bliss is yours, as long as you don’t mind putting your newborn in a straitjacket. According to Dr. Harvey Karp and his book “The Happiest Baby on the Block,” the keys to making it through the mysterious “fourth trimester” and helping your kid channel their inner “calming reflex” boils down to the five S’s:

1. Swaddling
2. Side/Stomach Position
3. Shushing
4. Swinging
5. Sucking

Now, I’m certainly not a doctor, I didn’t stay in a Holiday Inn Express and I probably don’t want to don’t know how it works, but it does. Hell, it seems to put infants under some kind of spell or some shit. And Dr. Karp certainly doesn’t need my endorsement since he already has Pierce Brosnan and Madonna throwing love his way, but I can vouch for him. Faced with a 4 a.m. decision between a bottle of Maker’s Mark and a swaddle, I can safely say that I now reach for the swaddle—and in my world, there is no higher praise.

What started out as a rather scary read turned out to be some type of new-Dad gospel.

All hail the Fetus Whisperer.