“DiePods” Fuel Unwinnable Human-On-Vehicle War

I see people using iPods everywhere … in the mall, on walking trails, in their cars, at coffee shops, while running, on bikes, in the grocery store. But I have yet to see someone wearing one walk directly into an oncoming vehicle.

Apparently, I haven’t spent enough time in the Big Apple. Since September, three pedestrians using iPods have been killed in the Brooklyn area alone. The tale of a 23-year-old Brooklyn man walking into the path of a bus while donning iPod headphones generated a buzz about the phenomenon recently, and New York Senator Carl Kruger has seen enough.

“In our gadget-hungry society, where iPods have become the accessory du jour, one lawmaker wants device devotees to wake up and hear the traffic,” writes TopTechNews.com of Kruger. “He's pushing a proposal to make plugging in on New York streets a crime.”

Apparently, Kruger wants these people alive so they can re-elect him — so he can go to Washington and attend sessions while reading his paper and listening to his own iPod while fancy bill-making is going on.

Kruger dubs the trend of iPods causing accidents “iPod oblivion,” and you can bet that Hollywood is already screentesting a film of headphoned zombies that try to head-butt SUVs off the road. If Senator Kruger gets his way, anyone spotted crossing the street using any electronic device will receive a $100 fine.

The proposed bill has stirred up more than a little controversy, with the Daily Evergreen complaining that the ban would take away basic rights and the New York Times, via “The Lede,” putting the question of the bill’s fairness to its readers.

I guess I wonder where such a ban might stop. This weekend, I saw a turtlenecked suburbanite perform a W-turn while trying to back into his own driveway – all because he couldn’t be bothered to interrupt a cell-phone call long enough to park his car. Plus, I see people now with those earpiece thingies in their ear, looking like Lando Calrissian’s buddy from “The Empire Strikes Back.” Originally, I thought those devices were going to be reserved for lying salespeople at failing marketing companies, but now they are everywhere.

Common sense should apply, though that is asking way too much in our world. If you were an acrobat, you wouldn’t try to balance your checkbook between jumps if it meant you would fall 150 feet to the ground, would you? If you can’t drive a car and conduct a phone call at the same time, don’t answer your cell phone. If you can’t use a laptop and have a real conversation at the same time, don’t bring your laptop. And if you can’t listen to The Flaming Rectal Wizards and simultaneously cross the street without French-kissing the grill of an H3, turn off the tunes and save your life.

Otherwise, it’s like you’re letting the terrorists win.