Tuesday, March 13, 2012

“2012”: Lots Of Stuff Burned, Broke, Fell And Sank, And Then There Were Pull-Ups



“Everybody out there has died in vain if we start our future with an act of cruelty.”

With the year itself pouncing on us somewhat unexpectedly, I figured it was high time to check out the calamity flick “2012.” Fueled by an angsty John Cusack, I found it to be an undeniably gripping disaster film, with insane special effects. It’s also almost interminably long at nearly three hours, but the emotional aspects of the movie serve to keep you engaged.

In a validation of a Mayan civilization that didn’t get a ton right, the opening scene of the movie couldn’t be more ominous. The causation involved solar flares and neutrinos and shifting crust—all a bit hard to follow—but it was easy enough to see that chaos ensued, in the form of a cracking-apart Earth.

The movie (which includes elements of the underrated Starz series “Torchwood”) hinges on a rather large global conspiracy, which one might think would be somewhat difficult to keep quiet, but you can file that under many suspensions of disbelief in this one. As an unabashed Danny Glover fan, it was good to see him as Prez long before Obama gave the office a run, and it was cool as well to see cast members from both “Fringe” (Ryan McDonald) and the “Big C” (Oliver Platt).

Woody Harrelson (playing himself, I’m almost sure) also made a memorable appearance as a tin-foil-hat-wearing, RV-living, conspiracy-broadcasting hermit type ... and this is actually how I envision Woody “The Hempster” Harrelson living his life now.

Director Roland Emmerich managed to create a riveting flick, but toward the end it purports itself to be a movie about human nature and a morality play. But really, how seriously can you take a film that has “No more Pull-Ups. Nice.” as the last words? In the end, “2012” is best when it just sticks to what it is: a special-effects vehicle and nothing more.


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