High-Fives Across America: Inauguration Beltway Edition

HIGH-FIVE INAUGURATION! - watch more funny videos

Nonsensical? Yes.

Silly? Yes.

Whimsical? Yes.

At least cooler than fist pounds? Yes.

Growing on me somewhat? Abso-toot-ly.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXX: Being Super Ain't Always Easy

Yet another Super Bowl Sunday approaches pretty quick
25 straight years, the Dolphins aren't involved a lick
Can Pittsburgh mount their vaunted rushing attack?
Can grocery-boy Warner avoid being put on his back?
The Bengals will be watching in a cell block with Michael Vick

As we all bid adieu to the remarkable Kay Yow
Whose story made us all simply say, "Wow"
Fought breast cancer bravely for 20 years
Carried herself with grace amidst the tears
NC State is certainly going to miss her—and how

Finally, some class is shown by one Drew Brees
Whose chase for Dan Marino's record was but a tease
He admitted that it should be broken the right way
Not by someone whose game plan is "Bombs away!"
Would help if more respected the game's greats, please

Seems the U. of Houston has put out yet another thug
Stepped on Chase Budinger like he was stomping a bug
Memories of one Christian Laettner, that queer
He was too light in his sneakers to inspire much fear
The FBI trying to make sure Coleman's not the target of a .44 slug

Desmond and Penny had a boy who's younger than 4
Named for the good Charlie, not the Charles Widmore
An H-bomb from the '50s is a danger all must heed
Faraday loves Charlotte, but she's got a nose bleed
Confused John Locke's trying to be a leader, but his Latin is poor


Raleigh's own wunderkind, John Wall
Does wonders on the hardwood with the ball
Enough to make Kansas blatantly break a rule
Enough to make Duke just another cheating school
But will he pick the Wolfpack after all?

Last time …

Season 5 Of "Lost" Kicks Off At A Breakneck Pace

For all its character development, flashbacks, flashforwards, sidestories and coincidences, "Lost" is essentially a story about redemption and a reflection on the human condition. As a result of listening to its constituency, the show's writers and producers have promised that Season 5 will convey a sense of moving toward something, and finally, providing more answers than questions—with the main query being, "When destiny calls, will you answer?"

The Season 4 finale was as well-done as any aspect of the series has been thus far, leaving us with a lot of believable cliffhangers and a myriad of questions that weren't frustrating, but challenging. And as always, we're struck by the anomaly of the horror of the island contrasted with how beautiful it looks from the air.

"Lost" does the dramatic slow-motion final scene better than anyone, and we see Kate looking back toward the sea, recognizing that the ocean and Sawyer mean freedom while the land and Jack equal stability. Meanwhile, in the final moments, Jack had the following exchange with Desmond:

"Don't let them find you, Desmond."

"I'll see you in another life, brother."

"Aye, I guess you will."

This back-and-forth between Desmond and Jack echoes the first meeting between the two. "Lost" is getting better and better at bringing plots and storylines full circle so that certain moments and lines make sense. If you would have told me that George Lucas would somehow find a way to bring the entire "Star Wars" six-ology together in a way that was brilliant and cohesive, I would have laughed. Yet, he did it; and now "Lost" is attempting to pull off the same minor miracle.

While the Season 5 premier primarily involved the flashback to three years prior, it also introduced us to the role of time travel in the development and relevance of the island, a theory that has long been posited as a major aspect of the show. Sawyer's sarcastic question of "So when are we now, Whiz Kid?" is one that we find ourselves asking along with all of the characters as the island, as described by Daniel, is "skipping" around time like a record. We see Locke reverting back to his knife-throwing ways, the reappearance of the heroin plane as it crashed (alas, no appearance of Ecko) and other previous events and occurrences. The overriding question of whether they are stuck in the past and thrust into the future pervades everything that is going on, in a fascinating—rather than an annoying—way.

Back in the "real world," Hurley struggles with sanity, bumping into a virtual Ana Lucia while wearing his new "I Heart My Schitzu" T-shirt. Sayid fights to stay alive and resolve his indentured servitude to Ben, Jack works to regain sobriety and earn back Kate's trust, Kate battles to avoid lawyers who want to take Aaron from her, and Sun conducts shady dealings with Charles Widmore and learns off the "Oceanic Six's" plan to try to return to the island.

As a snapshot, here are just a few of the ever-growing and sometimes-diminishing list of questions that still nag us as we remain glued to the set:

What the hell do the whispers mean or represent?

What is the true nature of Benjamin Linus? Who do we believe regarding his relative goodness or badness?

When are we going to find out more about Charles Widmore and the backstory about his running feud with Ben?

Will Walt and/or Michael somehow come back into this storyline?

What is wrong with Charlotte and was she, in fact, born on the island?

Will Claire continue to play a role after warning Kate not to bring Aaron back?

Why was Charlie not included in any of the flashbacks or pre-premier discussion?

Again, what was the promise that Sawyer asked Kate to keep before he jumped from the helicopter?


What role does Ms. Hawking play in the entire Widmore-Linus conflict?

What are we supposed to believe about Richard, his agelessness and his possible role in Locke's death?

What is at the root of the name Jeremy Bentham?

How are the "Oceanic Six" planning to embark on the process of returning to the island?

Where are Desmond and Penny and how will they be assisting in this effort to go back?

If the first two hours of this season are any indication, we're in for another rip-roaring jaunt around the island, around the world — and across dimenstions.

Farewell To A Legend

All of Wolfpack Nation bids a tearful and heartfelt goodbye to longtime women's coach Kay Yow, who succumbed to her long battle against breast cancer at age 66. Her impact on the women she coached and taught, the school she helped define, the sport she worked to catapult into national relevance, and the disease that she aided in raising money for a cure for will never be fully appreciated or completely understood. Yet, true to her nature, her legacy was never something she preferred to talk or think about.

The university, the conference, the city, the state and the nation lost an ever-so-rare hero today. We'll miss your your inspiration, your will, your optimism, and most of all, your smile.

May this morning find you alongside Jimmy V, drawing up Xs and Os in the clouds.

Rest in peace, Coach.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXIX: In With The New, Out With The … Jackass

Finally, good riddance to the Retard-in-Chief
After eight long years of making us say, "Good grief"
Put American lives at risk without a second thought
Upon lies, appointments were made and wars were fought
No more stupid looks and mispronunciations, what a freaking relief

Another wide receiver acting like a diva bitch
His team won, but he didn't care a stitch
Instead he whined on his team's final drive
While without him the offense did thrive
You'd fit in Detroit -- a loser, but rich

13 Oscar nominations for Mr. Benjamin Button
The cast celebrated with a dinner of wine and mutton
A cool flick with a heart, that combination can't fail
A tribute to New Orleans wrapped around a great tale
Nearly three hours, but for that punishment I am a glutton

The Triangle woke up to discover a blanket of white
Classes cancelled, businesses closed, what a fright
Didn't last long, as temperatures climbed the meter
But long enough to empty the bread aisle at Harris Teeter
Jackasses took to the road, making I-440 quite a sight

Shocking headlines from the scientific space
It seems pollution can quicken death's pace
So the environment is a big deal after all?
Will Congress heed this helpful warning call?
Clean air is good? That can't be the case

Hope returned to America on one fine day
How welcome I just don't have the words to say
For eight years, our leader caused pain and fear in the night
And yet now we can finally walk boldly out into that light
The road is long, but for one day we held cynicism at bay

Last time ...

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Turns The Hourglass -- And Movie Magic -- Upside Down

"Our lives are defined by opportunities -- even the ones we miss."

For me, any discussion of this extraordinary movie comes along with a disclaimer. A couple of years back, I attended a wedding in New Orleans (where this happened) while "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" was in production there. On the way to the rehearsal dinner, traffic was being routed around certain parts of the city because they were filming a night scene. I later learned that they were most likely shooting the Benjamin-Daisy seduction scene in City Park, but ever since that brief coincidence, I've been following the marketing of the movie and keeping tabs on when it might be released.

With David Fincher directing and the remarkable Cate Blanchett ("Daisy") involved, you knew this was going to be a memorable flick, if nothing else. Throw in the tremendous Taraji P. Henson, who has made a career out of stealing scenes, as "Queenie" and an understated Julia Ormond as "Caroline," and the picture starts to take shape. The question surrounded Brad Pitt's casting as "Benjamin Button" as a character fated to live his life in reverse. It's a difficult role that holds the movie together, and Pitt has and always will have questionable — if not iffy — talents as an actor. And since the movie checked in at nearly three hours, if he missed the mark in this one, it could have degenerated into an interminable disaster.

With early- to mid-20th century New Orleans as the backdrop, a period peace that spans the globe, an interweaving of Hurricane Katrina into the plot, some incredible new filming techniques that captures facial deformation and changing, and a short story to base it all off, let's just say "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" was overly ambitious and could have fallen off the tracks in several aspects. Yet, somehow, the ambitious Fincher, together with Pitt and Blanchett, pulls this all off. Like so many sweeping period pieces of this type, perhaps this one will be remembered for being a fascinating tale more than a truly great movie.

There were many moments that were evocative of "Forrest Gump," and the last-words-of-an-essential-story-from-a-dying-woman's-bedside technique has been employed to varying success in "Titanic" and "Evening," among other movies. What helps to set "Benjamin Button" apart, however, are the cinematography that captured stunning sunrises in Lake Pontchartrain and the bayou, the beauty of New Orleans's Garden District, the grandeur of old Manhattan, the sweeping vistas of Paris, and the horrors of war on the Atlantic.


The opening scene shows us a blind clockmaker constructing an enormous clock for a brand-new train station in New Orleans. Having recently lost his son in World War I, the clockmaker designs his masterpiece to count time backwards, in hopes that going back in time will bring back his son and other dying soldiers. We then flash to August 2005, where a woman named Daisy is dying, and her daughter, Caroline is trying to say goodbye as Hurricane Katrina bears down on the Big Easy. Daisy asks her daughter to read to her from a diary that Caroline has never seen, and, predictably, Caroline discovers that her mother loved a whole life she never knew about -- or several lives, to be more accurate.

The story of Benjamin Button really starts in November of 1918, at the end of the first World War. We see a man running through Jackson Square to find his wife, who is dying in childbirth. In her last words, she makes her husband promise to care for the child, to make sure he "has a place." However, when the husband finds a son born with the grotesque appearance of an 86-year-old man, he first tries to throw the child into the Mississippi River, but then abandons him at a nursing home, where he's found by Queenie and her husband. (On a side note, you know how every three years or so, some old lady in Madagascar sees the likeness of the Virgin Mary in a potato chip? Well, the other evening I saw two overcooked potatoes that looked just like Benjamin Button as a child. So … miracles do happen and all that.)

Benjamin suffers many of the problems that one would imagine come along with being an old man trapped in a child's body, but he eventually grows a rip-roaring mullet and leaves New Orleans and his friends, including a young Daisy, behind by becoming a sailor on the tugboat Chelsea. He works under the charismatic and life-loving Captain Mike, who takes the odd and enigmatic Benjamin under his wing and shows him many, many "firsts." In defiance of his seafaring father, Captain Mike is an artist at heart, turning his body into his canvas with myriad tattoos, including a memorable one of a hummingbird. After a secretive, whirlwind affair with the wife of a British spy, Benjamin is thrust into the middle of World War II after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, along with his mates. Tasked with towing damaged American ships back to the country, the Chelsea eventually gets caught up in a firefight and sinks, with Captain Mike and most of the other sailors -- who had become Benjamin's de-facto family -- dying. The hummingbird, who will die if it ever stops flapping its wings, becomes a symbol of death for Benjamin, and after he's rescued, a hummingbird buzzes by him way out at sea.

Upon returning to New Orleans, Benjamin rekindles a friendship with a local button-maker, and unbeknownst to Benjamin, it is his father. Thomas Button has kept tabs on Benjamin throughout his life, and now near death, he reveals his true identity and bequeaths his booming button business to Benjamin. Another return reveals the death of Queenie ("It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you."), the only family that Benjamin ever really knew. Now backtracking to near middle age, Benjamin pursues a start-and-stop relationship with Daisy, who has become a renowned dancer in New York with a taste for the fast life and easy loves. Eventually, as their ages finally meet in the middle, things click for the two, and the love-affair highlight of Benjamin's life ensues.


However, Benjamin's reaction to news of Daisy's pregnancy is bittersweet. He is haunted by thoughts that he'll be unable to be a father to his child, since he'll be regressing into childhood as his son or daughter grows. Daisy assures him that they'll find a way, but soon after Caroline is born, a strange, awkward scene is presented—without a word, Benjamin looks at his daughter and his wife and silently leaves in the dawn, hopping on his motorcycle and roaring off as Daisy looks on, shocked. To me, it seemed a little too easy for him to just walk away; I would think that the immediate bond that develops between a father and his daughter, and the thought that Benjamin finally has his own true family, would have at least made his decision to walk away more difficult. We know that what he is doing is probably technically best for all involved, but something in his behavior and decision-making process didn't ring true for me.

We follow Benjamin as he runs away to Southeastern Asia and India, among other places, always seeking something he can't quite reach. He eventually returns to New Orleans in 1980, appearing as a 25-year-old, and meets Daisy, who has since remarried, at her dance studio. Later, they share one more evening of passion in his hotel room as the reality that nothing lasts sinks in wistfully. Daisy's departure from the hotel, in which she doesn't speak a word and hardly meets Benjamin's eyes, echoes Benjamin leaving her and Caroline years before. Modern-day Caroline, who is dealing with the reality of the hurricane and her mother's impending death as she's experiencing the emotions of finally learning who her real father is, remembers meeting 25-year-old Benjamin and chastises her mother for keeping the truth from her. However, in the diary, she discovers a stack of touching postcards, one that Benjamin sent for every one of her birthdays, and they each name off another thing he wishes he could have done and experienced as her father.

As she continues reading, she learns of Benjamin's continued regression age- and maturity-wise. Suffering from dementia-like symptoms and homelessness, he eventually becomes a confused child, an angry toddler and then an infant, forcing Daisy to eventually move back into the nursing home to care for him in his final days. Painfully, we are shown Daisy teaching Benjamin to walk and talk, until he eventually gives her a look of recognition and passes away. As Caroline reaches the end of her reading, the hurricane is upon New Orleans and Daisy passes away, with her last action being to see a hummingbird flitting next to her hospital-room window before soaring away into the storm. The final scene is of the old backwards-running clock, sitting in the corner of a dusty basement, as the floodwaters lap at its edges, as Benjamin's final musings on what he learned and what his life meant reach our ears:

"Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life. Some people get struck by lightning. Some are born to sit by a river. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim the English Channel. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people can dance."


This was a movie that took nearly 15 years to progress from the idea for a remake to actual release. It was originally slated to be a Ron Howard movie starring John Travolta, eventually passed hands to Spike Jonez to direct, then finally landed in the lap of Fincher, who shot "Zodiac" first, then "Benjamin Button." Pitt likely took on the movie as a tribute to New Orleans, a place he has fallen in love with and has made a personal crusade to try to save.

I was unaware that this flick was "loosely based" on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, written in 1921. In the book, Benjamin actually lives with his father instead of being abandoned by him, and he goes on to attend Harvard and become a football star until the demands of growing young make it impossible for him to compete or handle the workload. He fights in the Spanish-American War, gets married, has a son and is eventually cared for by that son as he grows younger and younger—eventually even attending kindergarten with his grandson.

I expected New Orleans to play an even larger role in this film, and based on the trailers, I expected it to be a little creepier. However, those expectations were happily discarded, and replaced by a near-epic masterwork of cinema magic. There are holes here and there and the obvious pervasive suspension of disbelief … but if you allow yourself to get swept away by the floodwaters and caught up in the tides of history and lost in the beauty of the bayou and of the intangible quality of those moments in our lives that are impactful in their purity and melancholy in their fleetingness, you'll let yourself believe for a moment.

And you'll be rewarded with an incredible movie experience.

The End Of An Error And The Dawn Of Hope

Symbolically, I'm hoping this clean snow that blankets us helps to cover up and wash away all the disgraceful mistakes and deceit of the last eight years.

I had toyed with the idea of attending Barack Obama's inauguration later today, but it seems about 2 million people beat me to the punch, and logistically, it just didn't work out. Since I can't be there, I'll think out loud of my hopes for what today could mean.

I hope our new leader can enhance and build on the good will and sense of optimism he's created.
I hope America begins to earn back respect -- it takes years to earn and one decision to throw it all away -- around the world.
I hope the economy begins to turn around and friends and loved ones who worry about their jobs will gradually have their concerns eased.
I hope there is a real commitment to addressing environmental concerns so we don't leave a smoking shell for our grandchildren.
I hope partisan politics takes a backseat to problems that can only be solved by multiparty collaboration.
I hope we take accountability for our embarrassing behavior in the world's eyes.
I hope we have the creativity and wherewithal to end this war peacefully and bring our dedicated troops back home.
I hope we center our focus on an educational system that is falling behind in some areas and broken in others.
I hope we remember New Orleans and stop treating her like someone we gave up on long ago.
I hope we address immigration in a way that allows all parties to retain their human dignity and sense of decency.
I hope the move toward volunteerism and charitable efforts takes hold.
I hope the promise of an amazing nation is realized, and the wasted and damaging actions of recent years is erased from the collective memory.
I hope Obama turns out to be who I think he is.

But most all, I hope. And it feels good just to be able to do that again.

Yes, we can.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXVIII: Pack In Need Of Jack Bauer At Point Guard

A season premier numbering hours of four
So much action an ADDer wouldn't think it a bore
A terrorist has control over the U.S.
A government dealing with a conspiracy mess
No, it's not "Groundhog Day," it's "24"

The Ravens let other teams fall on their sword
So many thugs and convicts, you say, "Dear lord"
The Cards left Delhomme with nothing to do but cry
The Iggles keep advancing, thanks to that choker Eli
The Steelers are so complete they almost make you bored

Last place in the ACC and still ranked five
The undefeated season has taken a nosedive
A team full of me-first prima donnas
Get pedicures and hang out in saunas
They've gone off the tracks like a car Phil Ford might drive

The Triangle to get nailed by an arctic blast
Temps under 30, who knows how long it will last
It's about time that it feels like winter around here
Water and milk will be gone thanks to widespread fear
If you share the road with terrified drivers, best to go fast

Against all odds, finally a role-model Seminole
Much to learn from the story of one Myron Rolle
He's decided to attend Oxford as a Rhodes scholar
Instead of chasing the NFL's almighty dollar
Not even Bobby Bowden could turn him into an asshole

A team strong of body, but with a mind weak
After 11 straight ACC losses, just a win they seek
The freshmen at least play like they care
The upperclassmen don't give Elon a scare
Sorry, Javy, but like a bad burrito, you reek

Last time …

Scooter & Hum's Top Five Books Of The Year '08

A little late, but here 'tis: the Scooties best books of the year are back! Enjoy …



1. "On the Road," by Jack Kerouac

The vision of Dean Moriarity hunched over the steering wheel, head stuck out the window, hurtling across the nation with a leer, is one of the most profound and enduring images in all of American literature. The book that cemented and defined the beat movement, Kerouac's tome—which he wrote in a staggering three weeks—seized me in a way that no book has since I read "Lord of the Flies" in a single night as a sophomore in high school. My only lament is that it took me so long to discover this masterpiece, which informed and defined an entire generation of artists. "On the Road" may just have become the best book that I have ever read.

Passage to remember:
"So in America when the sun goes down and I sit on the old broken-down river pier watching the long, long skies over New Jersey and sense all that raw land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, and all that road going, all the people dreaming in the immensity of it, and in Iowa I know by now the children must be crying in the land where they let the children cry, and tonight the stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear? the evening star must be drooping and shedding her sparkler dims on the prairie, which is just before the coming of complete night that blesses the earth, darkens the rivers, cups the peaks and folds the final shore in, and nobody, nobody knows what's going to happen to anybody besides the forlorn rags of growing old, I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of old Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty."



2. "Water for Elephants," by Sara Gruen

A poignant and lively tale that encompasses the wistfulness of growing old, the dreams of forgotten youth and the tangible beauty of the in-between, "Water for Elephants" was a delightful surprise to read. It's amazing qualities held even more meaning to me since the first draft of this book was written by Gruen in a month-long novel-writing contest called NanoWrimo, which I have participated in and completed. The adventures of Jacob Jankowski (partially based on the biblical story of Jacob) as a love-struck veterinarian, balanced against his funeral-home fight to retain his relevance, makes for one of the more memorable reads of 2008.

Passage to remember:
“My real stories are all out of date. So what if I can speak firsthand about the Spanish flu, the advent of the automobile, world wars, cold wars, guerrilla wars, and Sputnik-that’s all ancient history now. But what else do I have to offer? Nothing happens to me anymore.”



3. "The Audacity of Hope," by Barack Obama

I'm not here to tell you that "The Audacity of Hope" is a quintessential literary achievement; I'm not going to posit that it boasts sweeping turns of phrase or heart-stopping prose. But I am here to tell you that, in sheer terms of powerful messaging and ability to restore a little optimism to a wounded country, yes, Obama's book represented a defining occasion for this year. On a personal level, this book ranks here on this list due to the effect that it had on me, as someone who was searching for a brave candidate capable of holding up a searchlight in our nation's befuddled, painful darkness. I read it, and I knew.

Passage to remember:
"For I am getting to an age where I have a sense of what satisfies me, and although I am perhaps more tolerant of compromise … I know that my satisfaction is not to be found in the glare of television cameras or the applause of the crowd. Instead, it seems to come more often now from knowing that in some demonstrable way I've been able to help people live their lives with some measure of dignity. I think of what Benjamin Franklin wrote to his mother, explaining why he had devoted so much of his time to public service: 'I would rather have it said, He lived usefully, than, He died rich.'"



4. "Dubliners," by James Joyce

I had been disappointed in my own relative lack of familiarity with this landmark author, and with a trip to Ireland upcoming, I took it upon myself to check out the catalog of one of Dublin's most famous natives. "Dubliners" is a collection of short stories and sketches, making it a much less daunting read than the epic "Ulysses." It certainly piqued my interest in Joyce, added to the excitement of visiting his museum in Dublin and helped prepare for some day tackling "Ulysses" (*gulp*).

Passage to remember (from "The Dead"):
"His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead."



5. "Duma Key," by Stephen King

This King novel is very much a psychological thriller, and while there were points at the end where I felt the story broke down somewhat, it was one of the better King efforts I have read of late. Edgar Freemantle had his highly successful life, career and family taken away from him in a horrific accident, but in exchange, he has discovered an incredible artistic gift. The pursuit of this new talent leads him to an isolated area of the Florida Keys, where he discovers his true self, a portal to an older world and many mysteries. One has to think that this is another King tome that is informed by his own personal brush with death in the late '90s, and it's a very enjoyable and worthwhile read.

Passage to remember:
"How do we remember to remember? That's a question I've asked myself often since my time on Duma Key, often in the small hours of the morning, looking up into the absence of light, remembering absent friends. Sometimes in those little hours I think about the horizon. You have to establish the horizon. You have to mark the white. A simple enough act, you might say, but any act that re-makes the world is heroic. Or so I've come to believe."


Editor's Note: I also made my way through Ernest Hemingway's "A Farewell to Arms," but I was underwhelmed, as I often am in turning back to Ernie. I also tried to hammer through "Armies of the Night" by Norman Mailer, but I gave up halfway through. I figgered I deal with enough pretentiousness, in writing and otherwise, to the point where I don't need to invite it into my spare time. "Meat Market" by Bruce Feldman was a quick, easy read about the ugly truths involved in college football recruiting, especially in the SEC, written from within the confines of former coach Ed Orgeron's Ole Miss program. Also, most of the latter part of '08 involved me slogging my way through "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy, with the fruits being much worth the work.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXVII: More Buckeye Misery, Plus Barkley Uses Fave Five To Call Chico's Bail Bonds

Another heartbreaking loss in a BCS game for those poor Bucks
Gotta admit seeing their fans crying again gave me lotsa yucks
This one was a lot closer, making Texas fans say, "Oh boy!"
But OSU folded in the final seconds to one Colt McCoy
Back to C-bus they go, greeted by fans saying, "Ohio State sucks"

The economy only worsens as the holidays pass
Now it's Lenovo kicking workers square in the ass
Sounds like Literace got thrown off a sinking boat
Left to float on the top of his glittery dream coat
How many former MSIers got laid off en masse?

Boston College says goodbye to Coach Jags
Got shitcanned for talking to Jets fans wearing bags
The Eagles are saying, "Jags, we hardly knew ye"
Two for two on ACC title games, coulda made it three
B.C. fans got what they deserved, those bean-eatin' fags

Oklahoma gave it away to Florida's thugs
Tebow loves circumcisions, touchdowns and hugs
How did Ron Cherry wind up as the ref?
He's blind and about as qualified as Hef
If you think there shouldn't be a playoff, you gotta be on drugs

Poor effort by my Dolphins upon finally making the postseason
Four picks from Chad Pennington was a big part of the reason
Spent too much time before the game with a hair curler
Then after kickoff, promptly turned into the Hebrew Hurler
Expecting even more in '09, and no, Sparano, I ain't teasin'

A DUI for the "Round Mound of Rebound"
Chuck's career bottoming out was the sound
Was chilling with Strahan and freaking Urkel—no joke
After the racism fires at Auburn he did stoke
His only role model is John Daly, who's almost as round

Last time …

Season’s Over, But Battle Continues For Wolfpack Hero Yow

Sometimes someone emerges who transcends sport, gender, race, region or institution, a singular person capable of inspiring all of us, in all walks of life. Over the past few years, longtime NC State women’s basketball coach Kay Yow has become such a person, and the secret of what an incredible person she is has been shared on a national stage.

One could argue that Yow has been one of the five most influential leaders not only for women’s basketball, but in women’s sports as a whole. Yet it is her long fight with breast cancer that has truly catapulted her onto the national stage.

That spotlight burns even hotter this week, thanks to the news that Yow is stepping down as coach of the Wolfpack Women for the remainder of the season. She had missed four straight games while dealing with low energy levels that come along with battling Stage IV breast cancer. The 66-year-old, in consultation with her doctor, agreed that it was time to focus on monitoring her health instead of enduring the trying, emotional, energy-draining task of running a major Division I-A athletics program.

There are many close to the situation who believe that coaching is what is keeping Yow alive these days, which makes the decision that much more serious and emotional. The hope is that she’ll be able to attend a game or two every now and again to let her players — who view her often as a mother or even a grandmother — know that she is still there, still fighting, still hoping, still trying, still invested.

Yow is undoubtedly and unquestionably an inspiration and a role model, regardless of whether you’re white, black or green, man or woman, or what your school affiliation may be. If you’re so inclined, check out the important work being done by the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund and consider making a donation. Or even drop Coach a line to let her know that you’re thinking of her and her all-important fight.

These days, you won’t come across many more worthy of your thoughts and wishes.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXVI: A Bounceback Is Mine In '09

Lots of changes took place in '08
A new home, a new life and fate
Sweet Gallo lost way too soon
We miss him morning, night and noon
High hopes for '09, of this there's no debate

The new year brought a PGA suspension for Hooters fan JD
And a reminder of the douchiness of his namesake, Carson Daly
Poor Dick Clark was painful to watch
Difficult to hear the words he did botch
But the Backstreet Boys and Jonas Brothers got along gaily

A record 10 teams went to a bowl from the ACC
But they went 4-6 with lots of debacles to see
LSU beat the crap out of Georgia Tech
When Wilson got hurt, State said, "What the heck"
I guess it's hoops time on Tobacco Road, woe is me

Got the Comeback Player of the Year
A team that turned the league on its ear
Only the Tuna doesn't seem on board
It seems he only wants money to hoard
Oh well, being an underdog again is nothing to fear

A new hope for Scooter in a brutal economy
Back to writing a press release or three
A PR gig back in the pharma space
Thankful for another cubicle place
Shout out to my writer friends, it'll get better, you'll see

It's high time for the return of Lost
All my frustrations have now been tossed
I'm still a little bit in shock
Over the sight of a dead Locke
They finally left the island, but at what cost?

Last time …