A season premier numbering hours of four
So much action an ADDer wouldn't think it a bore
A terrorist has control over the U.S.
A government dealing with a conspiracy mess
No, it's not "Groundhog Day," it's "24"
The Ravens let other teams fall on their sword
So many thugs and convicts, you say, "Dear lord"
The Cards left Delhomme with nothing to do but cry
The Iggles keep advancing, thanks to that choker Eli
The Steelers are so complete they almost make you bored
Last place in the ACC and still ranked five
The undefeated season has taken a nosedive
A team full of me-first prima donnas
Get pedicures and hang out in saunas
They've gone off the tracks like a car Phil Ford might drive
The Triangle to get nailed by an arctic blast
Temps under 30, who knows how long it will last
It's about time that it feels like winter around here
Water and milk will be gone thanks to widespread fear
If you share the road with terrified drivers, best to go fast
Against all odds, finally a role-model Seminole
Much to learn from the story of one Myron Rolle
He's decided to attend Oxford as a Rhodes scholar
Instead of chasing the NFL's almighty dollar
Not even Bobby Bowden could turn him into an asshole
A team strong of body, but with a mind weak
After 11 straight ACC losses, just a win they seek
The freshmen at least play like they care
The upperclassmen don't give Elon a scare
Sorry, Javy, but like a bad burrito, you reek
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