Friday, September 30, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: Apparently A Lot Happened In Baseball, But All I Know For Sure Is That The Mets Continue To Be A Joke


Epic chokes all across the east
In Atlanta, Boston hopes deceased
Slept through baseball’s renaissance
Saw the news over morning croissants
The regular season ended -- and I cared least

Injuries are a common schtick
Along with busts like D-Jax and Vick
A fantasy football season to forget
But nice to have no more fret
On the clock for next year’s top pick

Was tough watching him of late
Andy Rooney was slow of voice and gait
“So … didja ever notice …”
Whether talking about video games or POTUS
Farewell to another journalistic great

With football playing like poops
Attention has turned to State hoops
And recruiting rumblings abound
Will they land someone to rebound?
“Gurus” battling each other for scoops

Jose Reyes always came with a hitch:
He was always kind of a bitch
Not surprised that a noted limper
Would go out with a bunt and a whimper
Symbolizes the entire Mets glitch

Last time

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 46



#1
So, one of my favorite shows, “The League,” starts back on October 6. Does anyone else think it’s odd that a show about fantasy football BEGINS during Week 5 of the NFL season?!
Hell, my fantasy season is going to be over by the time that freaking show starts.

#2
I’ve been a fan of ESPN’s “30 for 30” series, and all of the ones I’ve seen have been well done. But the most disappointing one thus far for me has been “One Night in Vegas,” which attempted to draw parallels between the fall of Mike Tyson and the death of Tupac Shakur. The intimation seemed to be that Tyson’s career was never the same after the night Shakur was killed after a Tyson fight, but it was loosely introduced and never really supported or tied to the events. Also, the relationship between the two seemed overblown, but more concerning to me was that the documentary didn’t add or reveal much. What new were we supposed to learn about Tupac and Tyson? To me, it fell way short in that regard.

#3
The first few weeks of the NFL season were marked by blown coverages, poor tackling, questionable penalties and injuries. Sort of like no one was adequately prepared. Sad.

#4
When you take into account what his name looks like and what the Philly fanbase represents, how is Moise Fokou’s No. 53 not the top-selling jersey in their market?

#5
A horrifying, yet eye-opening, account of why a GOP operative “left the cult.” Warning: Reading this may make you want to move to Vancouver tomorrow.

#6
If you think college football is dying -- or is already dead -- this is a great story, and links, backing up that premise.

#7
One of my new favorite shows, “Sons of Anarchy,” has returned. A poignant moment came when one of the characters noted, “The older we get, the further away we get from who we think we are.”

#8
Someone more eloquent than I can put words to the poignancy shown here in this video about VJ Day in Waikiki, 1945. But it is truly amazing that this film is more than 65 years old.



#9
Well, the powers-that-be in NFL offices have finally gotten what they’ve always wanted: they’ve officially turned the NFL into a seven-on-seven drill. The rules changes have been slanted so far in favor of offense that I honestly believe that passing yardage records need to have an asterisk affixed these days, to denote the “no touching” era of the NFL. 400-yard passing games are the new 300-yard passing games.

#10
Some of the deleted scenes from “The Office” are hysterical, leading one to wonder what the decision process is on what gets cut and what doesn’t. In one of the scenes, Meredith cuts off some whining from Gabe with the line, “Hey—this ain’t no Breakfast Club, BITCH!” Epic.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Don Draper Pitches The Facebook Timeline



... then goes off to get hammered, sleep on his office couch, bang his secretary and get home in time to write a campaign for Dove.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Cop Comedy “The Other Guys” Was Surprisingly … Funny


I’ll admit to finding “The Other Guys” to be funnier than I expected, although I’ll also freely admit that Will Ferrell is someone who makes me start laughing before he ever really says anything. Of course, you’re forgiven if you spend much of the movie asking, “Marky Mark? Really?”

This flick marked the fourth collaboration between Ferrell and director Adam McKay, along with “Anchorman,” “Talladega Nights” and “Step Brothers.” Odd casting decision aside, McKay basically takes the good-cop, bad-cop genre and supersizes that theme to outlandish proportions.

The highlight came in the form of epic snapshots from a binge-drinking episode straight out of “The Hangover.” The lowlight came when the movie itself was promoted on an episode of “Big Brother” -- which is usually a pretty big tipoff that a movie is going to blow -- with an advance screening serving as a prize after some inane contest or other.

Yet “The Other Guys” overcame that dubious start to turn into a serviceable buddy-cop film (there are rumors that a sequel is in the offing). I still had difficulty getting past the inclusion of Marky Mark, but beyond that, this one offered up the easy laughs that modern-day life all too often necessitates.


Friday, September 23, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: The Return Of Somewhat-Watchable TV, Plus The Pack Is Utterly Lost


The fall season is back, none too soon
For TV critics, a virtual boon
“Sons,” “The League” and “It’s Always Sunny”
Plus “The Office,” “Modern Family” bring the funny
But “Fringe” is what has me amped like a loon

With hackers her agent got tough
When ScarJo appeared in the buff
FBI put their best on the case
Examined every pic at their own pace
Being an FBI agent is so very rough

There was a shadow of a doubt
So his case taken up by those with clout
But his sentence was never commuted
So Troy Davis was executed
Lady Justice’s scale ain’t looking very stout

A speech caused a walkout at the U.N.
Iran causing turmoil, once again
Their leader’s name has a lot of vowels
Now probably some loose bowels
When you’re mad, remember to count to 10

A team with a lack of fight
Makes for a very long night
State’s injuries keep mounting
The losses keep on counting
Enough barks -- when you gonna bite?

Last time

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

One Of Those Seasons, As Scooters Slip To 0-2


A narrow loss in Week 2 dropped the squad to winless on the fantasy-football campaign. More troubling is the continuance of a mind-numbing series of injuries that has (literally) hamstrung the team and doomed the season before it really got fully underway.

San Diego’s Mike Tolbert was hurt in Week 1 in the midst of a TD-hat-trick performance, so naturally the best goal-line back in the league fumbled and was denied three times inside the 2-yard line—perhaps my first clue that it was going to be another brutal week.

St. Louis’s Stephen Jackson, Denver’s Knowshon Moreno and Jacksonville’s Marcedes Lewis were all scratches before the games began, which at least spared me the fate favored by other Scooters players: leaving games hurt. Steve Johnson of Buffalo, Lance Moore of New Orleans, DeSean Jackson of Philadelphia and, of course, Michael Vick all missed key time due to injury during the course of their games.

What does it all mean? Well, at 0-2 off the bat and with easily one of the league’s best teams WHEN HEALTHY, it doesn’t make a ton of sense for me to go out and throw cabbage around on the waiver wire. Not that I’m giving up, but some years you just get an unshakeable sense that it wasn’t meant to be, and with a history (in both fantasy and NC State football) littered with these types of seasons, I’ve learned to trust my instinct in this regard.

Basically, when there are more little red crosses next to players’ names than there are other players to replace them, sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Forty Years Of Pissed-Off CEOs



When Greenpeace turned 40, an anonymous ad agency marked the occasion by putting together a unique gift: a video capturing some of the impact that the direct-action environmental organization has had.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIIV: Hope Hangs By A Thread, Plus A Somber Weekend Past


Obama visiting NC State
As North Carolina swirls in hate
A government full of self-sabotage
Opponents in patriotic camoflauge
For hope, is it already too late?

State looked like a steaming pile
And Brady threw for about a mile
The Pack isn’t having any fun
The ‘Fins can’t cover anyone
That’s football for you, Scooter style

A new Palin controversy has started
As tales of cheating have been imparted
She jumped NBAers in the sack
Now she’d love to go back
To when people just thought she was ‘tarded

This is what boxing is now
Mental warfare, not boom and pow
Hit women, quite a champion king
Then duck and run in the ring
Hope Ortiz KOs Mayweather—and how

Ceremonies full of emotion and grace
Memorials take the ruins’ place
Remembrances of horrific days
As 9/11 was relived in replays
Take a moment before resuming life’s pace

Last time

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 45


#1
Jon Stewart is undeniably epic, but his riff on conservative self-victimization ventures boldly into genius territory.

#2
I was glad to come across this relatively uplifting udpate on post-Katrina New Orleans, tempered by the gentle reminder of “We’ll see.”

#3
I had never wanted a punter’s jersey until I read Chris Kluwe’s “douchebags” take on Twitter. Who ever thought a punter could become a fan favorite?

#4
Many don’t care for Michael Irvin, and although I can see reasons why he’s considered a hypocrite, I actually think his analysis is underrated in its honesty. But no matter your feelings on the dude, you have to respect him for his brave foray into gay rights.

#5
Here’s an honest, great essay on police brutality and it’s link to mindfulness. Nothing to add to it, really … just read it.

#6
Will probations and cheating in college football turn out to be the equivalent of the steroid era in baseball?

#7
I couldn’t help but chuckle upon seeing this ad for a weed-whacking golf driver for “surreptiously improving your lie.” Surreptitiously, really? Like the rest of your foursome won’t notice you over there whacking weeds?! “Nothing to see here, mates, just doing a little groundskeeping as we theoretically play golf.”

#8
“What if Michael Vick Were White?” is the early leader in the clubhouse for Stupidest Fucking Column of the Year. Next week: “What if Michael Vick Didn’t Murder all Those Dogs?”

#9
Time marches on. Families grow. Football keeps coming back. I thought this ode to life and football was beautifully written.

#10
So,“Moneyball" has to be the worst concept for a movie at least since, "Dude, Where's My Car?” I mean, right?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Deja Ooooh: Injury Woes Strike Even Earlier For The Scooters


It’s hard to win in fantasy football on any given week, because you never know when your opponent is going to have a career game. And it gets even harder when half your lineup is or goes out on any given Sunday.

That was the case with the Scooters on opening weekend in fantasy football. While I at least I had Stephen “Quad” Jackson for two carries (and 15 points), Knowshon “Hamstring” Moreno exited stage left after a disappointing showing. Mike “Leg” Tolbert chalked up three touchdowns from my bench before succumbing to injury, while Marcedes “Calf” Lewis wasn’t missed too badly from my bench before heading to his own bench. Lance “Groin” Moore (an unfortunate nickname in any endeavor) never even got off the bench, having been ruled out for Week One in the preseason.

You can learn a bit about your team in the first week of fantasy football, but it’s always advisable not to overreact. That being said, the injury bug that bit so hard in ending my title chances a season ago seems to have found a cozy home in the Scooters’ stadium a bit earlier in 2011.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Miss Japan's Real Name Is Yoko Spicoli



Miss Japan is out to give Miss South Carolina (who I dubbed "Peroxide Borat") a run for her money.

But I think the munchies she experienced before, during and after this interview may hurt her in the swimsuit portion of the competition.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Odd Afro Frog Dude Sings "Star Wars" Anthem



I give you "Star Wars" gone horribly wrong.

And French.

Or is that redundant?

Friday, September 09, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: Remembering 9/11 A Decade Later, Plus Farewell To The Best Buccaneer


The years go by so fast
Has a decade really passed?
Since the world stopped in pain and trouble
And freedom scrambled in the rubble
We’ll remember the lost and brave ‘til the last

The Pack started out very slow
Just how good, we just don’t know
The defense looked stout
But struggled to air it out
Oh well, at least State is 1-0

A debate for the unstable right
No wonder the world’s in a state of fright
Candidates who make you lose sleep
And for the future, make you weep
Batshit vs. crazy carried the night

He liked to cheat, steal and rob
And call himself UNC’s No. 1 knob
Fired Bitch Davis keeps showing up
Getting game balls and saying ‘sup
Dude, walk away and get a fucking job

A star for the NFL’s worst team
Rose to the very top like cream
Lee Roy Selmon was a freaking beast
And now may he rest in peace
The best go so young, it sure does seem

Last time

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Many-Layered, Intense “The Hurt Locker” Examines What Makes A Bomb Team Tick


“The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug.”
--Chris Hedges, New York Times

It’s sort of sad that so many people will remember “The Hurt Locker” for all the wrong reasons. But that’s kind of what happens when a co-producer of a film e-mails Academy Award writers to attempt to dissuade them from voting for another movie (“Avatar”) for best picture. Sure, Nicolas Chartier issued a public apology, but he’ll always be known as the first nominee ever to be banned from a movie award ceremony.

That backdrop unfairly draws away from what was, unquestionably, a tremendous movie. Filled with testosterone, unfathomable violence, stereotyping questions, intensity and slow-motion cinematographic techniques, “The Hurt Locker” shone an unflinching light on war in the Middle East.

From a casting perspective, it has been reported that the casting of relative unknowns was very purposeful, to help protect the authenticity of the landscape of war. It was odd to see Guy Pearce (Staff Sergeant Matt Thompson) introduced as team leader—only to see him killed off in about 10 minutes. His replacement, Sergeant First Class William James (played impeccably by Jeremy Renner), establishes himself as the complete opposite of Thompson, more than a little bit nuts, from jumpstreet. Anthony Mackie is tremendous as Sergeant J.T. Sanborn and Brian Geraghty held his own as Specialist Owen Eldridge, while David Morse was excellent as always, although in just a bit role as Colonel Reed. Sanborn and Eldridge struggle with how far into hell they’re willing to follow James, who appears to have an insatiable death wish. At every turn, James thumbs his nose at uncompromisable military mandates about safety and communication, continuously putting himself and his team in danger—but also nullifying bad guys with some strange mix of luck, cockiness (873 bombs detonated!) and genius.

The screenplay was written by a freelance writer named Mark Boal, who embedded with a bomb squad in 2004 and said he was drawn toward the idea of these specialists who are “going toward what everyone else is running from.” Director Kathryn Bigelow does a terrific job of honoring Boal’s screenplay and experiences, overseeing tremendous work in introducing evil through suddenly shifting camera perspectives. The real-time nature of the film serves to build the intensity, to the point where you’re always expecting some added meaning, something else to happen just around the corner.

There were a few awkward aspects of the flick, with the relationship James forged with the hustler kid, Beckham, feeling a bit forced. Also, positioning Ralph Fiennes as a mercenary didn’t quite click, as he’s not exactly a “tough guy” type. I also found it really odd that the phrase the title comes from (used in Viet Nam to mean “in bad shape” or in a bad situation) wasn’t referenced at all in the movie, which was originally titled “The Something Jacket.” And finally, some articles indicated that veterans took issue with some of the lack of protocol and overall team behavior depicted in the film, saying that Renner’s level of risk-taking wouldn’t have been accepted. However, Boal spoke to more than 100 soldiers in doing his research, lending credence to his work and pointing out that, perhaps in such a leaderless region and situation, the cowboy nature can take hold.

The filming was done in Jordan, with reports that four or more crews would work simultaneously in 120-degree heat. The gritty, physically demanding nature of the work came through in the filming, when Renner hurt an ankle during one scene, stopping the filming for a week and throwing the entire project into jeopardy. On top of all that, the crews were shot at and had debris thrown at them as part of a legitimately hostile environment. After dealing with all of these variables, the crew had the unenviable task of taking 200 hours of footage and distilling it down into 2 hours and 13 minutes.

In the end, the movie is largely about James’s inability to reconcile both of his worlds, his struggle to balance the personas he has to live with in each; somehow, I think being married to Kate from “Lost” would make that job easier, but James just can’t puzzle it all out. Eventually, James begins to lose his mind and crack up, losing sanity to the never-ending chase, the ongoing futility of searching for answers in ratholes. When he eventually hallucinates about Beckham being turned into a living bomb, accidentally shoots Eldridge and stages a one-man invasion of an Iraqi slum, we see he’s hit rock bottom.

At one point, James views life moving on after an enormous explosion, seeing a kite being flown by an oblivious boy who accepts bombings as a natural part of his day, setting the stage for one of the tremendous scenes in the movie. James and Sanborn have a lengthy talk in the Humvee about the value of life, the role of risk and the presence of the future. Sanborn shares that he doesn’t want to die without having a son, that he is now ready for that, while James explains that he can’t process that line of thinking, doesn’t allow himself to think about or view his work in terms of risk or rolling the dice.

Near the end, we cut to James pushing his child through a store in a grocery cart, visibly struggling to come to terms with the fact that his life is now about buying cereal. In a heartbreaking scene, James comes to a decision as he’s playing with his son, saying, “As you get older, some of the things you love might not seem so special anymore … And the older you get, the fewer things you really love. And by the time you get to my age, maybe it’s only one or two things. With me, I think it’s one.” Essentially, James tells his family that the only thing he loves are bombs, before doing the unthinkable and abandoning his family to sign up for another tour of duty.

“The Hurt Locker” had a delayed release in the U.S., yet still overcame Chartier’s transgression to take home a stagging six Oscars. Awards aside, it says here that the sheer depth and range of emotion evoked in the film place it confidently among any war movie ever made.

Monday, September 05, 2011

The Scooters Feel A Draft, Part Two: Upping The Risk/Reward Ante In 2011


In Part I, we covered a bit of a shift in drafting philosophy for the Scooters this year. With an eye on more dynamic, distance scorers, I favored more of a risky approach, resulting in a solid first half of the draft.

Of course, any good fantasy football owner will tell you that you largely make your hay at the back end of the draft, so without further ado, here’s what happened there …

10th Round, 133rd Overall: Davone Bess, WR, Miami Dolphins
Miami’s new offense will feature a lot more three- and four-wide receiver sets, which means that, even if Bess doesn’t beat out Brian Hartline for an official starting job, he’ll be on the field plenty. Bess has become a consistent safety valve for jittery Chad Henne (more on him later, unfortunately), and I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Bess reel in 75 passes in 2011. The key for him is to prove that he’s more than a move-the-chains guy—that he can be a red-zone finisher as well.

11th Round, 148th Overall: Marcedes Lewis, TE, Jacksonville Jaguars
On the off chance that Graham begins boxing out instead of running solid patterns, I couldn’t pass up the chance to add one of last year’s fantasy surprises to bolster my tight end position. Lewis chalked up 10 touchdowns in 2010, and while I’m not counting on him repeating that this season, I do think he will still put up respectable numbers in a short-passing offense. At the very least, he’s a legitimate threat near the goal line for the Jags, and a great guy to have on hand to push Graham. I grabbed Lewis in hopes that the Dolphins defense would make it back around to my 12th-round position, but that strategy backfired quickly when the other Miami fan in the league scooped them up a few picks later. Oh well.

12th Round, 161st Overall: Kansas City, D/ST, Chiefs
Pretty much all the like-to-have defenses were gone at this point, so I tabbed the Chefs here because our rules are that you have to start somebody. I do think KC has put together a young, promising unit, and with Dexter McCluster around, there is the chance for a return score every now and again. I do think the retarded safety-related new kickoff rules will have an impact in this area of fantasy football, and I’m OK with playing waiver-wire bingo with defenses/special teams if needed as the season progresses.

13th Round, 176th Overall: Brandon Gibson, WR, St. Louis Rams
I had Gibson, Antonio Brown and Andre Roberts pegged as late-round receivers that I was highly interested in, so I figured Gibson was a quality selection here. Sam Bradford aired it out last year as a rookie, and I think the Rams will have a fairly wide-open offense again in 2011 (though let’s not get crazy guys, I do have Steven Jackson, after all). He surprised a season ago, and as long as he’s not buried in the wideout rotation in St. Louis, he should be fine as a No. 5 wide receiver.



14th Round, 189th Overall: Antonio Brown, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers
Imagine my surprise and happiness when Brown was still lurking when my pick rolled around again. Snaring him gave me two of the three sleeper, late-round wideouts I had been targeting prior to the draft. Not that Brown is going to win me a lot of weeks, but I certainly felt even better about this choice after he put up two long scores in a preseason game just an hour after our draft ended. Whether he emerges in Pittsburgh’s rotation or becomes trade bait for my team, I was more than good with rounding out my corps with Brown as the No. 6.

15th Round, 204th Overall: Matt Bryant, K, Falcons
Bryant was ranked respectably among fantasy kickers for this year, and being that I didn’t have a kicker yet, I thought I’d go ahead and draft him. I was playing a bit of a game of chicken with the only other owner in the league who didn’t already have two quarterbacks, with my eye on (*gulp*) Chad Henne of the Dolphins—I was going out on a bit of a limb in thinking that he didn’t have any eyes on Henne, but I was OK with that. Anyway, Atlanta should put up plenty of points this year, making Bryant a fine starter as my placekicker.

16th Round, 217th Overall: Tampa Bay, D/ST, Buccaneers
I was in need of a second defense, and I figured any team that plays the Panthers and Scam Newton twice a year was a solid choice. Tampa seems to be an emerging team, with some good, young pass-rushing talent, and when you toss in the shocking news that had just come out that one-man-crime-wave Aqib Talib wasn’t suspended, they felt like a solid fit here.

17th Round, 232nd Overall: Shaun Suisham, K, Pittsburgh Steelers
I had sort of heard of him before, he plays for a legit offense and he doesn’t have the same bye week as my other kicker, so … welcome aboard, chief. Also, Scrabble is one of our tiebreakers, so a name like “Shaun Suisham” has to be worth a few points there. Plus, Miami’s Dan Carpenter, a “Joe Dirt” lookalike, was tabbed one choice ahead of me.



18th Round, 245th Overall: Chad Henne, QB, Miami Dolphins
In a god-forgive-me pick, yes, my own personal Mr. Irrelevant made it all the way to my final choice. Miami has a lame-duck coach and trouble filling the seats, so they seem dedicated to more of an air-it-out offense in 2011. From a real-life perspective, that approach feels destined to end horrifically; from a fantasy football perspective, I think Henne has a chance to put up some decent stats that will justify him as a backup signal-caller. The Dumpoff King now has Reggie Bush to shuffle it off to, and hopefully Brandon Marshall (must.not.make.straightjacket.crack) will fall into a long score every now and again as well. And if not doesn’t pan out, well … he was the freaking 245th overall pick in the draft. I’ll be OK.


Quick Wrapup
For a team that hinges a lot on Vick, it stung that Kyle Orton, Josh Freeman and Sam Bradford were all nabbed just before I was going to choose them. Some bad luck involved there, but I also arguably waited too long on nailing down an established backup quarterback.

In hearing about my choice of Vick, my wife shooked her head and paused for a while. Then she quietly asked, “Nobody else who has raped anybody or killed animals, OK?” Sure thing.

I think.

Friday, September 02, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: Football Returns None Too Soon, Plus Loony Juice The Drink Of Choice As Elections Near


At long last, real football is back
Questions abound for the ‘Fins and Pack
Can Glennon replace Wilson for State?
Can Henne lower his high mistake rate?
Optimism abounds until the first pick or sack!

Destroying the US wasn’t enough
Now Cheney returns looking rough
His memoirs etched on tablets of stone
For a villain who makes us all groan
Just leave us to clean up your shitty stuff

Across headlines it did resound
Dementia for the queen of hoops round
A tough time for Pat Summitt
As her memory does plummet
But nothing will slow her down

A government ground to a halt
Everyone elected bears some fault
Candidates with crazy eyes
Spreading ridiculous lies
Only want to protect every billionaire vault

Politics, money dominate college ball
Conferences fight for the biggest haul
A&M no longer the Big 12’s
Now everybody save yourselves
Where will all the dominoes fall?

Last time

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 44


#1
RIP to Chris Hondros, one of those rare talents who was able to elevate photography to artistry and wield a piece of technology like an elegant paintbrush. NC State -- and journalism -- lost one of the best, tragically.

#2
If you’ve ever been to San Francisco, you’ve undoubtedly noticed the jammed-together homes. Well, this enterprising owner worked around permits by building a fold-in garage into his Victorian house. Bravo, sir; bravo.

#3
Your reaction to the news that the last typewriter manufacturer has shut its doors probably falls into one of two camps: 1) “Man, I can’t believe that!” or 2) “Holy shit, people were still manufacturing typewriters!?”
My trusty typewriter and I spent way too much time together, and not only did it get me through college, but I still have it. Farewell, typewriters.

#4
Yeah, I know the NFL Draft is now several months past, but I have to say: The ESPN Bizarro World honchos thought it best to put Jon Gruden in charge of grading quarterbacks and Bill Parcells in charge of compiling the draft board. Who the fuck thought it was OK to make these appointments on Opposite Day?

#5
I don’t have much to add to this one: “Go the Fuck to Sleep” is just a flat-out epic children’s book.

#6
Maybe it’s just me, but after the offseason that Ohio State had, adding a guy who just got arrested on felony theft charges at a casino to your coaching staff doesn’t feel like, you know, a dramatic change in direction for the program.

#7
I fell in love with this visual representation of “how books work.”

#8
I watched all of the NBA playoffs and really was only left with two vivid impressions: Chris Bosh kind of looks like Snoop Dogg and Russell Westbrook has tiny ears.

#9
I’d like to think that we can all agree that planking has jumped laid down on the shark.

#10
The Miami Dolphins haven’t had much to cheer about for years, but Jim Mandich always seemed to find a reason to do so anyway. You will be missed, Mad Dog.