The Scooters Feel A Draft, Part One: Upping The Risk/Reward Ante In 2011

A year ago, the Scooters put together a pretty stellar draft, yet still had to overcome a litany of injuries to limp into the playoffs. This year, the team looks strong coming out of draft day yet again, but it isn’t built to withstand losing a key component.

In terms of straight value, Michael Vick was pretty much a no-brainer midway through the first round. I followed that up landing four of the top 32 running backs, according to CBS, as well as a deep—if not star-strewn—wide receiver corps.

Going a bit outside of my philosophy, I took a few high-risk, high-reward types early in the draft this year, as well as choosing dudes that I flat-out don’t like as “people.” And I did so knowing full well that my season, my draft and my team all ride on Vick, and his ability to stay healthy, stay out of trouble and stay consistent.

Shit … why am I shaking?


1st Round, Eighth Overall: Michael Vick, QB, Philadelphia Eagles
After seeing the top seven quarterbacks go in the first 27 picks in last year’s draft, and no changes forthcoming for our league’s passer-heavy point system, I wasn’t going to be left without a signal-caller this year. So when Michael Vick fell in my lap with the eighth overall pick, I couldn’t pass him up—even though my hatred for all things Vick is well-documented. My attempts to hedge against this hold-your-nose selection with an established quarterback were thwarted in the middle rounds, meaning that I may have to explore trade or free-agency options should Vick be shot bitten injured at any point during the season.

2nd Round, 21st Overall: Stephen Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams
With the proven, non-committee tailbacks going quickly, I was happy to scoop up Jackson with this pick. I see the Rams surprising on offense this season, and I also anticipate Jackson becoming more of a factor in the passing game in 2011. He’s always been a beastly workhorse, and with Sam Bradford developing at quarterback and Josh McDaniel on hand to pilot the offensive attack, the hope is that Jackson will find a little more room to roam this year—and divert S-Jax off the Earl Campbell-ish path St. Louis had been pushing him down.

3rd Round, 36th Overall: DeSean Jackson, WR, Philadelphia Eagles
Again, I’m not much of a Jackson fan, but he was the surest receiver still on the board and the opportunity to pair him up with Vick was an added bonus that made this selection a bit easier. Outside of Jamaal Charles, most of my recent teams have been missing the distance scorers that are rewarded big-time in my league, and the prospect of some 60-yarders for the Vick-Jackson combo is certainly enticing. Of course, the 140-pound (75 pounds of that being mouth) Jackson always runs the risk of being broken in half, which adds an element of nervousness to this pick. Throw in the fact that his value is a direct result of Vick’s presence, and well, this one is going to make for some nervous moments.

4th Round, 49th Overall: Knowshon Moreno, RB, Denver Broncos
Probably my least-favorite choice of the draft. I was torn between jumping early for tight end Antonio Gates or selecting running back Cedric Benson here as well, but I had my eye on a few late-round tight ends and I didn’t trust Benson in this spot. Something about Moreno has me intrigued, even though it is questionable how the Broncos front office views him and the presence of Willis McGahee is highly troublesome. But the good news is that this is likely a make-or-break season for Moreno—if he’s ever going to emerge and produce to his talents, this has to be the year. Although one has to think just having a locker near Tim Tebow will make him a better and more righteous player.



5th Round, 64th Overall: Steve Johnson, WR, Buffalo Bills
With Cedric Benson taken one spot ahead of me here, I evaluated Johnson as the best remaining No. 1 receiver left on the draft board, and I was pretty happy to snare him in this spot, with Percy Harvin also under some consideration. I envision Beefalo trailing quite a bit this year, meaning that Ryan Fitzpatrick will be airing it out once again—and he and Johnson developed quite a bit of chemistry a season ago. I considered this a bit of a bounce-back pick after the Moreno selection threw me off my rhythm, so I was hopeful that this would help kick-start my drafting groove again. Quick shoutout to Stevie: how about fewer “Why So Serious” T-shirts, less drops that lose games and more touchdowns … cool?

6th Round, 77th Overall: Joseph Addai, RB, Indianapolis Colts
Still a bit unsettled about the running back situation following the Moreno choice, I scooped Addai here with little hesitation. I have him pegged as a guy due for a rebound year, and with Peyton Manning’s status a bit up in the air, my hope is that Indy looks to the ground game early in the season. Addai has always been productive in stretches, and his skill set as a receiving threat out of the backfield is highly appealing once Manning returns to form. Just hoping he doesn’t become a pain in my neck as he has for Peyton (ouch). As a No. 3—and potential No. 2 (yes, like the poop)—running back, I dig Addai in this spot.

7th Round, 92nd Overall: Mike Tolbert, RB, San Diego Chargers
I was all set to grab Josh Freeman as my backup quarterback, but he was scooped up just ahead of my pick, so I had to shift gears. I was excited to see Tolbert still available in this area, so I rounded out my running back corps with the bruiser who emerged big-time a season ago. I’m not sold on Ryan Matthews as a legitimate full-time back, and rumblings had been that Tolbert is the San Diego back to have at this juncture (editor’s note: when Norv Turner is involved, all bets are off). If Tolbert is your No. 4 tailback, I think you’re in pretty good shape at this key position group, and that’s how I feel. The upside is I’m done with running backs after seven rounds; of course, that means I could—and did—see some really intriguing guys available later in the draft that I (obviously) couldn’t grab.



8th Round, 105th Overall: Lance Moore, WR, New Orleans Saints
After doing my predraft research, I concluded that Moore was a guy I wanted on my team. Yes, Drew Brees spreads it around quite a bit, but with some of Marques Colston’s injury concerns, there is potential for Moore to emerge as Brees’s favorite target. The other factor is that I tend to like to collect as many good players as I can that are a part of stellar offenses, and Moore fits into that equation. He’s been battling injuries this preseason, so hopefully he can find some voodoo healing magic on Canal Street. By pegging him as my No. 3 wideout here, I’m feeling pretty good about my drafting work thus far.

9th Round, 120th Overall: Jimmy Graham, TE, New Orleans Saints
With the inevitable run on tight ends occurring earlier, I thought this was a nice spot to land another guy that seized my attention early in the draft prep process. But it was a tough choice: I was also considering Sam Bradford, Davone Bess and the Bears defense in this spot (too many Bs!). Our league doesn’t allow for rebound points, but this ex-hoopster at Miami played well enough down the stretch a season ago that New Orleans felt fine jettisoning Jeremy Shockey, who has had about as many drops as tattoos lately. My pick of Graham felt even better when Brees targeted the hell out of him one day later in a preseason game. So halfway through the draft, I was getting a strong conviction about the way the draft was unfolding and the way my team was building.

Stay tuned for Part II soon …

Jimpressions, Shakespeare-Style

OK, so not all these were dead on (I was a bit disappointed in his version of Paul Giamatti), but still … pretty damn epic. It takes an enormous talent to pull this off.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI: End Of Days In North Carolina?, Plus Steve Jobs Takes His Last Bite Of The Apple

The computer got to shakin’
Some folks got to flakin’
Now Irene is headed our way
Hope it doesn’t decide to stay
N.C. just hurricanin’ and earthquakin’

LSU embarrassments in piles
Violations, guns and 911 dials
Jefferson stomping a dude? Never!
Only thing he connected on, ever
Might be best kick of the year for Miles

You had the personality of a toad
An ice queen and a very wide load
Spent your birthdays at Target
So get in your car ‘n’ git
Just drive on the right side of the road

Didn’t think they got dirtier than Fairley
But Suh might be dirtier, barely
The Lions have talent to spare
But play like they just don’t care
Might be why they win rarely

Farewell to Mr. Steve Jobs
As Apple’s stock causes sobs
Created a culture of style
He’ll be missed for a while
But customers’ll still come in mobs

Last time …

“Water For Elephants” Stares Down The Leap From Good To Great, Then Shys Away

I don’t make it out to the theaters very often these days, so when I do, it’s usually for a flick that either just looks like there’s no conceivable way it could blow or I have some attachment to. The latter was the case when the decision was made to take in “Water for Elephants.”

I read the novel primarily because it was created as part of NanoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month (October). I’ve participated in this event, which involves trying to write a novel in 30 days, so I was amazed that someone had actually generated something worthwile out of it. I really enjoyed “Water for Elephants” by Sara Gruen -- in fact, it achieved the #2 ranking in the Scooties book awards for 2009.

Director Frances Lawrence’s film, based on the screenplay by Richard LaGravenese, was very true to Gruen’s work. As in the novel, aspiring veterinarian Jacob Jankowksi (Robert Pattinson) drops out of Cornell just before graduation and runs away to the circus after his parents die and their business is lost. In unlikely fashion, he earns himself into the confidences of August Rosenbluth (Christoph Waltz), the circus owner and head animal trainer for Benzini Brothers Circus. Recognizing Jacob’s knowledge of and temperament with animals, August gives him a job trying to train a stubborn elephant, Rosie. Along the way, Jacob becomes smitten with Marlena (Reese Witherspoon), putting himself in constant danger with the moody and oft-violent August, which propels the plot toward the sort-of-dramatic finish.

In terms of casting, most of the shaky reviews have centered on this aspect of the film. Witherspoon was very good as usual, and Waltz captured the tempestuous August nearly perfectly. But Pattinson was hard to take in the lead role, and he has suffered withering criticism due to the lack of on-screen chemistry between himself and Witherspoon.

The device used to relate the story is a 90-year-old Jacob, who tells his story in old age. However, his living situation is not depicted at all in the movie, and none of the melancholy and desperation that define his final years in a retirement home are shown here. Jacob is much more bitter in the book version, and I found his relegation to the background something of a missing element in the translation to the big screen. After all, in the novel, Jacob’s battle for latter-life relevance really comprises an important second peg for the plot to stand on.

Some feel that some of the middle-of-the-road reviews for “Water for Elephants” stem from some controversy over the treatment of animals in the movie. However, I felt that the movie was purely missing the spark and personality needed to push it to another level. The cinematography was great, the treatment of circus life was well rendered, the stunts and animal work were nearly unbelievable—but the film felt like it was mostly void of passion and heart. As others have noted, Lawrence appeared to take the easy way out by taking no risks with this flick, and I feel he really missed the mark with the casting of Pattinson, which severely hindered the movie’s chances to really shine.

The result is a nice, well-done movie -- but one that seems to lack in the intangibles that really seize the viewer’s soul.

What's This Magical White Stuff?

In mid-August, Wellington and Aukland, New Zealand, got snow for the first time in 30 years. This is what it looked like.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: Glory’s Last Stand Had All The Storylines Necessary, Plus Things Look Bleak For The “U”

Bradley won the PGA
Or did Dufner give it away?
High drama at glory’s last stand
With tension to beat the band
What a way to end the year’s play

Rodman talked of lessons learned
And all the bridges he’s burned
Quite a Hall of Fame speech
For a character beyond reach
Perhaps “The Worm” has turned?

Let’s be clear:
Jim Thome deserves a beer
But if a dude brings the goods
And hits 600 homers in the woods
Does anyone even hear?

For the beach, we did long yearn
Like Casper, avoided sunburn
Melancholy feelings ran deep
For memories we’ll always keep
But we’ll always find a way to return

More scandal at the U
A jock-sniffer describing a Dade zoo
A Ponzi schemer run wild
Makes USC look pretty mild
Not totally surprised … you?

Last time …

Remembering The Fascinating, Meteoric Rise And Fall Of “Twin Peaks”

In an effort to do battle with the summer doldrums and malaise that arise from every worthwhile show going on hiatus, we elected to check out “Twin Peaks," an early ‘90s series that I had never watched. What I found was a mesmerizing story that rather quickly and abruptly turned into a cautionary tale about the triumphs and pitfalls of originality in mainstream media.

The brainchild of creators David Lynch and Mark Frost, the show kicked off with the shocking murder of high school student Laura Palmer -- a crime never meant to be solved by Lynch and Frost. The resulting investigation, in which nearly every resident of Twin Peaks was found to be either hiding something or a suspect, was far-reaching, incorporating elements of religion, the spiritual world, Native American lore, UFOs, demonic possession and a villanous natural world.

After a phenomenal first season that had us burning through DVDs with frightening speed, “Twin Peaks” embarked on a truly mind-boggling second season. It was a menagerie of bad, confusing and illogical plot lines, from transtesticle FBI agents to superhuman housewives, and though Lynch and Frost did their best to salvage the series at the end of the season, it was too late -- just when it was starting to feel like “Twin Peaks” again, it ended. As I watched the train slowly careen into the forest, I couldn’t help but wonder: Has any show ever gone off track more quickly?

I do understand Lynch’s excuse that suits destroyed the series -- after all, Laura Palmer’s killer was never intended to be revealed, but the network demanded it -- but I feel that’s a bit of a simplistic answer. Lynch is right to be bitter and full of regret (he maintains that his idea was that Laura was the tree, and all the other secrets were just branches.), but his own ego and hubris certainly played a role as well. Not only did he cast himself as Gordon Cole, but both he and Frost allowed themselves to be distracted by the pursuit of movie efforts in the second season, relegating “Twin Peaks” back to “just” a TV show and creating a void of oversight. A turnstile of guest directors stymied the show’s momentum and more often led you to think, “Where the hell is this going?”

The meteoric rise and fall of “Twin Peaks” is a shame, because at its best, it was such a formula-shattering show, intertwining comedy and creepiness, sci-fi and after-school special, horror and drama, love story and murder mystery, soap opera and cop show. The fighting-against-convention bent extended to casting, where, on the one hand, Lynch cast a litany of hot young actresses; on the other, he tabbed a set dresser in the vital role of “Bob” basically on accident. [But for me, the actor who stole the most scenes was Miguel Ferrer, who played the hysterical forensic examiner Albert Rosenfield.]

It’s hard not to believe something special was at work on “Twin Peaks,” especially when cast members admitted that they experienced strange dreams and some talked about spirits while the filming was going on. The brutal weather endured for the shooting of the pilot made filming very difficult, but the impact on atmosphere and tension was very important to the show ever being picked up by the network.

There will always be unanswered questions (why did Jocelyn Packard become part of a bedside hotel table? Who is this Diane that Cooper constantly spoke to on the dictaphone? And what was the deal that Cooper truly made at the very end?), but the DVD set did a pretty good job of providing context for what went right—and wrong—for “Twin Peaks.” I was disappointed that they didn’t include the European pilot ending, which wrapped up the whole series in case it had to stand alone and never made it to network.

I’ll say that “Twin Peaks” did a tremendous job of capturing my riveted attention over the course of a week and a half -- it’s only a shame that the series itself couldn’t sustain its own momentum for a much longer period of time.

Just In Case You Needed Another Reason To Drink Guinness ...

Beach. Beer. Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.

These are a few of my favorite things.

Penny Opposes The Galactic Slave Trade

Good stuff from Kaley Cuoco of “Big Bang Theory” here, as she derides the “galactic slave trade” after so many have objectified “sexy slave Leia” at conventions. But I mean, couldn’t they convince Kaley to at least model this costume for this clip?

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: The Dolphins Already Pissing Away The Upcoming Season, Plus The OBX Beckons

Once was an AFC power
Now all their moves make us sour
Stuck with an already-booed Henne
‘Cuz Orton cost many a penny
Guess next year it’ll be Bill Cowher

A Congress of stupid fucks
Threaten a default for yucks
Compromise ain’t heard
As useful as a frozen turd
Sometimes America really sucks

On “Police Academy,” he was great
Unblockable for the Colts and Michigan State
Would-be blockers he tossed
Another NFL legend lost
RIP Bubba Smith, big #78

The Dow Jones took a huge hit
400 points is quite a bit
Worries about European debt
The Wall Street is always a bet
That’s why I don’t F with that shit

Headed off Outer Banks way
For sun, recovery and play
And to say a final goodbye
A house that’s made us laugh and cry
Yo Emily—stay the hell away!

Last time …

“The Mountain” Via Time-Lapse

The Mountain from TSO Photography on Vimeo.

TSO Photography does incredibly inventive work with time-lapse photography, as evidenced here by filming of El Teide in Spain.

Powerful stuff.

By Taking Chances And Tackling The Controversial, “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” Stands Out

The times when I’m surprised in a positive way by a movie are few and far between. So maybe that’s why “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” resonated with me for a while.

This flick, adapted from a novel of the same name by Ned Vizzini, touched on the difference that confidence can make in life, combining elements of a comedy, romance and a coming-of-age movie. Written and directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” is powered by unexpected and risky casting that somehow worked. The lead role was handled by goofy, win-you-over Keil Gilchrist as Craig, a troubled, semi-suicidal youth struggling with adolescence and a world that’s just a little too big for him at the moment. His parents are played by Jim Gaffigan and Lauren Graham, who are known more as comic types, while Emma Roberts appears as Noelle, the much-more-troubled girl who helps him see his problems really aren’t that bad.

Jeremy Davies, an actor I really like, had only a niche role in this one, and I certainly wouldn’t have minded if it had been expanded. But it is NC State’s own Zach Galifianakis who brings the biggest—and most unexpected—punch. In a role where he has to stretch far beyond what he’s been asked to do to date, the hysterical comedian plays Bobby, a kind of mentor and challenger to Craig. Eventually, Bobby learns as much from Craig as vice versa, with the message being that it seems like time moves slower when you are younger.

“See, that's the part I don't get, Craig. I mean, you're cool, you're smart, you're talented. You have a family that loves you. You know, what I would do just to be you, for just a day? I would … I would do so much. I would … I don't know. I would just … I'd just live. Like it meant something.”

There are plenty of awkward scenes, but that is partially by design, as there was a delicate balancing act between humor and the serious issues that go along with psychiatry and suicide. As Craig sees the beauty in Noelle that she doesn’t see in herself -- even her scars have glitter -- he himself finds a gift for art hidden inside him, and he is sort of forced to man the F up and put his problems in context.

Throw in a really good soundtrack and you have one of the biggest sleeper movies I’ve seen in a while. Because “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” is a film about taking the damaged and making it beautiful.

And I believe our world could use a bit more of that.

“Okay, I know you're thinking, ‘What is this? Kid spends a few days in the hospital and all his problems are cured?’ But I'm not. I know I'm not. I can tell this is just the beginning. I still need to face my homework, my school, my friends. My dad. But the difference between today and last Saturday is that for the first time in a while, I can look forward to the things I want to do in my life. Bike, eat, drink, talk. Ride the subway, read, read maps. Make maps, make art. Finish the Gates application. Tell my dad not to stress about it. Hug my mom. Kiss my little sister. Kiss my dad. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Take her on a picnic. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia. Have a party. Tell people my story. Volunteer at 3 North. Help people like Bobby. Like Muqtada. Like me. Draw more. Draw a person. Draw a naked person. Draw Noelle naked. Run, travel, swim, skip. Yeah, I know it's lame, but, whatever. Skip anyway. Breathe … Live.”