One has a wife who is sick
Another is a cheating prick
Good vs. evil storylines
Amidst Augusta’s storied pines
Congrats again, Philly Mick
You wonder why Dallas has stunk?
Here’s Jerry Jones, pretty drunk
He had a few vodkas on the rocks
Then went under for more botox
Goodell’s on line one, you goddam punk
Earthquakes striking in Chinese Taipei
Volcanic ash hanging over the UK
A meteor in the Midwest
A tea party causing unrest
End of the world, or will it all be OK?
A second-rounder in the next two drafts, each?
Perhaps that’s a bit of a reach?
He’s an asshole, is the Beast
But necessary in the AFC East
Dear lordy, keep him away from South Beach
Hugo and Libby renewed hearts
Ilana met the fate of Artz
Michael’s in purgatory if you connect the dots
Desmond ran down Locke in school lots
Des and Mystery Boy, playing bigger parts
Last time …
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