Monday, January 31, 2011

Despite Formulaic Feel And Iffy Prose, Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol” Still Draws You In


“To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the world is like wandering about in a great library without touching the books.”
–The Secret Teachings of All Ages

“‘After all, every great philosophical shift in history began with a single bold idea.”
--Dean Galloway

In the vein of full disclosure, I should say I’m not a big fan of Dan Brown as a writer. Anytime an author is suspected of plagiarism, riddles his prose with romanticism and cliché, and relies on a pretty formulaic approach to plot, they are probably not going to end up very high on my favorites list.

“The Lost Symbol” is no exception when it comes to Brown’s shortcomings; they are omnipresent. His overly cryptic chaper endings are borderline hilarious and his formal style of sharing history, background and even physical addresses can be a little off-putting in a work of fiction. His stilted prose and reliance on overly emotional, maudlin and dramatic utterances can occasionally take you out of the tale a bit, even if only for a bit. He also leans pretty heavily on literary coincidence, such as when he places a genius cabbie in Langdon’s path at one point. Beyond these perceived problems, it’s, as usual with Brown, an easy read, aided by very short chapters and a fast-paced story arc.

“In that moment, standing atop the Capitol, with the warmth of the sun streaming down all around him, Robert Langdon felt a powerful upwelling deep within himself. It was an emotion he had never felt this profoundly in his entire life.
“Hope.”

All that being said, though, Brown’s strength is obvious and undeniable: the dude can tell a story, flat-out.

Brown has come through yet again with a compelling tale; though it sounds vaguely familiar to other plot lines, he uses an eerie and foreboding prologue to launch into a robust story. He delves thoroughly and deeply into Masonic ritual and its importance with elite members of American society, weaving in some pretty cutting-edge thoughts about the actual, physical power of the human mind in the process.

“‘What if I told you that a thought … any tiny idea that forms in your mind … actually has mass? What if I told you that a thought is an actual thing, a measurable entity, with a measurable mass?’”

Robert Langdon offers up familiar difficulties in his role as protagonist. His oddly stubborn, unchanging, narrow-mindness seems at odds with his position as a symbologist who has theoretically been taught to question everything. It’s also amusing to me that he somehow sort of forgot that he was in possession of an ultra-secret, ancient talisman entrusted to him by his best friend. Occasionally, his ego becomes the driving point of the story, used to excess at times, such as when he stops to lecture about the history of a painting as he and a companion are being pursued by freaking SWAT teams and Green Beret types. For some reason, Brown also always feels as if he has to incorporate some hints or teases of romantic links for Langdon, though they inevitably go nowhere.

In “The Lost Symbol,” Brown ventures into some vaguely homo-erotic passages, plus some disturbing human-sacrifice, sensory-deprivation, torture and afterlife themes. All of this seems a bit of a departure for Brown, offering up some pretty bold ideas and depictions of very controversial, obscure and abstract areas. I thought his description of death and hell were rather brave, especially since, even though his books have been quite controversial at times, he sticks pretty close to his company line that all of his stories are extremely derivative of actual places, actual events and actual history.

“He was pure consciousness now … a fleshless sentience suspended in the emptiness of a vast universe.”

“‘The Bible, like many ancient texts, is a detailed exposition of the most sophisticated machine ever created … the human mind.’”


This particular book features a nice twist at the end, and the conclusion itself is a little unexpected. It gets a little dense in terms of reading at the end, which impacts and changes the overall look and feel of the book itself; the conversation is shifted rather surprisingly.

I did feel as if Brown has created a rather religious book in some ways. Of course, this is not exactly a change in course for him as an author, but by bringing in a lot of disparate teachings and side-themes, he enlarges the discussion in important ways.

“Since the beginning of time, the ignorant had always screamed the loudest, herding the unsuspecting masses and forcing them to do their bidding. They defended their worldly desires by citing Scripture they did not understand. They celebrated their intolerance as proof of their convictions. Now, after all these years, mankind had finally managed to utterly erode everything that had once been so beautiful about Jesus.”

The danger is that Brown is becoming the Tom Clancy of religious lore; it’s an equation that seems to work for him and I’ll never argue that he can’t put together an engrossing story, but at the end of the day, an author should always fight the perception that he is writing the same book over and over again.

I’m not so sure Brown is winning that fight … but then again, it’s a pretty good book.

“Every generation’s breakthroughs are proven false by the next generation’s technology. And so it had gone through the ages. The more man learned, the more he realized he did not know.”

“In the words of futurist Arthur C. Clarke, ‘Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.’”

Friday, January 28, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI: The UK Was Sorta OK, Plus Sidney Lowe And Jay Cutler Aren’t All That Popular


First trip ‘cross the pond since my hiring
One dude narrowly avoided a firing
Bad teeth and attitudes resounded
But beautiful sights abounded
England was still cool even if tiring

All the hubbub in the Windy City
Is the status of Jay Cutler’s knee
Did he quit on his team under fire?
Can he deal with the new rep he did acquire?
One step from the Super Bowl, what a pity

Let’s win the future, he said
No more earmarks, he plead
Innovation is the route to being green
Bipartisanship more than a dream?
The State of the Union gave hope instead

Lack of heart makes you run slow
A team full of tin men reach a new low
Now’s the time for action, not talking
The coach is a dead man walking
Sorry, but Sidney Lowe’s gotta go

Coup de’etats feature new flags unfurled
Car bombs explode around the world
Tornados and floods all around
Blizzards of snow cover the ground
2011 has us in the fetal position, curled

Last time

Thursday, January 27, 2011

For The Theater-Challenged ...



If you're like me, you find it increasingly difficult to make it out to the cinema to catch those intriguing new flicks (both of them). One solution? 270 movies in six minutes from 2010.

Giddyup.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Big Ol' Oops For Endor


An alternate ending for when the Death Star done blowed up in "Return of the Jedi." Good stuff.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Don't Miss Me


I'll be pursuing international business opportunities and endeavoring to seek cultural understanding in a foreign country for the week, so there will be a dearth of commentary and content for you to browse in the meantime.

How did that sound?

Enjoy the break from yours truly. Do something awesome.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX: Auburn Sort Of Wins A Title, Plus The Politics Of Hate Catches Up With Us All


Phil Knight pays for wins at Oregon
Cam Newton plays for pay with a grin
It was an ugly game the Tigers won
TCU would have beaten either one
Guess cheaters never sometimes win

“Band of Brothers” was a hit at the printers
About a war of explosions and splinters
An emotional, gut-wrenching journey
Watching your brother taken out on a gurney
RIP to a true hero: Major Dick Winters

Miami’s days of glory are long gone
Respectability has also moved on
A franchise in shambles and shame
An embarrassment to lovers of the game
Boy, do I miss Dan and the Don

A fairly brutal winter in Raleigh
Has many exclaiming “Gollee!”
Tough weather in the City of Oaks
Lead some to claim climate change a hoax
But disbelief is ignorance and folly

The political climate is scary and shabby
Faux News induces terror and is quite blabby
Obama an emotional tribute to the fallen
The state of Arizona is appalin’
We’re all pulling for a brave, fighting Gabby

Last time

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 37


#1
Dude ... Britain. Why are you fucking with the pint? Don't do this, man. I'm visiting your country next week.

#2
Mark May has long been the resident douche at ESPN, though he has faced stiff competition. He finally went off the deep end, though, demanding that his alma mater, Pittsburgh, hire Rich Rodriquez. He literally stared at the camera and lambasted the Pitt AD, telling him what he “needs” to do as a stunned Lou Holtz (redundant?) and Rece Davis looked on. Holtz gathered himself long enough to half-jokingly blast May for not only being an analyst, but also DickRod’s agent and the Pittsburgh athletic director. Bottom line, plain and simple, May should lose his job.

#3
I simply love this concept: “inch-vesting.” Read about how it’s working in Detroit.

#4
The power of the InterWebs: Ted Williams, homeless dude with “golden voice.” Found in Cleveland, becomes viral sensation, lands home and job with Cleveland Cavaliers, lengthy criminal background unveiled, subsequent arrest in Los Angeles ensues. These are the times we live in, friends.

#5
Wisconsin tailback John Clay has a giant Bob Marley tattoo on his arm. Way to throw those NCAA drug testers off your scent, man.

#6
OK, this photo from the Philippines is creepy as hell. If you don’t get the shivers from this one, you ain’t alive.

#7
After a nice thrashing of West Virginia in their bowl game, NC State doused coach Tom O’Brien with Gatorade. And the only thing that kept going through my mind is that you never sneak up on a Green Beret, man; he may actually end up killing you on accident. And that would be a tough one to write up on the injury report.

#8
So new Denver Broncos personnel honcho John Elway has taken the hiring process of the head coach onto Twitter, soliciting questions from fans and posting snippets of the interviews. Look, I’m all for “transparency”; but there’s transparency, and then there’s looking like you don’t have a goddam clue.

#9
I know Michigan has had trouble hiring coaches recently, but I never thought they’d go far enough down the list to land Notre Dame alum and ESPN radio guy Mike Golic. Seriously, though, has anyone ever seen Golic and Brady Hoke in the same place at the same time?

#10
I don’t have the time or energy to do the Arizona shootings justice here. All I will say is that I hope this paves the way for some real investigation of the lies and paranoia that are being pumped out to semi-ignorant ‘necks as “news.”

Monday, January 10, 2011

Scooter & Hum’s Top Five Books Of The Year 2010


For the fourth year in a row (2007, 2008 and 2009 as well), I’ve put together my list of the top five books I read during the course of the year. And for the fourth straight year, it was a struggle. With a toddlant rambling around, I seemed to have less time for reading this year, but still managed to make my way through some tremendous tomes. And yes, for those keeping score at home, Cormac McCarthy took home top honors for the second year in a row. Sue me.

So without further ado, here are “The Scooties” winners:


#1: “Blood Meridian,” by Cormac McCarthy


What I Wrote Then:

McCarthy’s choice to interject himself only as a narrator to the unimaginable -- yet true and real -- violence of the Mexico-Texas borderlands in this time, along with his decision to employ the kid only as a guide on this journey, forces the reader to handle the heavy lifting of judgment and categorizing who is good and evil.

For those able to withstand the gag-reflex-threatening violence of the tale until its final words, taking on the task of assigning morality seems easy in comparison -- if impossible to answer definitively.


What I Say Now:
“Blood Meridian” is a book that constantly challenges you, from understanding the prose to pondering morality to guessing at motivation. It’s a grueling work; it makes you work for it. But as you may be able to guess from my insanely long review, it certainly rewards you with plenty to consider and assess. This piece is nothing short of an epic, a must-read for anyone interested in the West, in morality, in a compelling tale.

Read My Review

Passage to Remember:

“The truth about the world, he said, is that anything is possible. Had you not seen it all from birth and thereby bled it of its strangeness it would appear to you for what it is, a hat trick in a medicine show, a fevered dream, a trance bepopulate with chimeras having neither analogue nor precedent, an itinerant carnival, a migratory tentshow whose ultimate destination after many a pitch in many a mudded field is unspeakable and calamitous beyond reckoning.”


#2: “Under the Dome,” by Stephen King

What I Wrote Then:
King’s story about how a invisible, impenetrable, semipermeable, unidentifiable wall of glass suddenly settles over a small sleepy town captivates you from word one and never lets you go.

In the end, never has a 1,100-page book been devoured so quickly by me. Rarely has King so acutely sketched a villain that inspires such deep hatred by a reader. And never have you wished for a dome to keep an entire town locked in for just a few pages
longer …


What I Say Now:
Spurred by King’s unparalleled character creation and unequalled storytelling, “Under the Dome” was an engrossing and fascinating read. No one else is capable of willing—nay, forcing—you to suspend belief, and he so vividly paints person and place that you find yourself a part of the location, a mute witness on a dark street corner. In sum, to paraphrase Mark Twain, rumors of King’s career demise have been grossly exaggerated.

Read My Review

Passage to Remember:

“ … a little girl who made the mistake of thinking she was big when she was small, that she mattered when she didn’t, that the world cared when in reality the world is a huge dead locomotive with an engine but no headlight.”


#3: “Beatrice & Virgil,” by Yann Martel

What I Wrote Then:
The true appreciation and borderline magic of Martel’s work comes in the aftermath, as you’re forced to examine and apply value to what you’ve just digested. He’s accomplished a clever, clever trick, in finding such a remarkable and unique approach to analyzing such a taboo subject -- leaving you to silently clap your applause in the wake of the total experience.

What I Say Now:
“Beatrice & Virgil” was a short, quick read that packs an almost unbelievably emotional punch. This autobiographical-ish piece combined chilling beauty with suspenseful morbidity, employing metaphor and symbolism to epic degrees. One of the many things I loved about it was how different, yet equally effective, it was to the first two books on this list: While “Blood Meridian” was challenging and thought-provoking and “Under the Dome” was long and engrossing, “Beatrice & Virgil” hammered you in just under 200 pages. I’ll always think of it fondly, and not only because much of it was read in the OBX, on the back deck, with a beer in hand and the sun in my hair.

Read My Review

Passage to Remember:
“Henry had written a novel because there was a hole in him that needed filling, a question that needed answering, a patch of canvas that needed painting—that blend of anxiety, curiosity and joy that is at the origin of art—and he had filled the hole, answered the question, splashed colour on the canvas, all done for himself, because he had to.”


#4: “Jane Eyre,” by Charlotte Brontë

What I Wrote Then:
Like many of the true classics, “Jane Eyre” is heavily dependent on strings of coincidences, and perhaps it is the challenge of a modern audience to quell the cynicism that comes so naturally to us, and just embrace the story overall and accept the unlikely, connected events.

All in all, however, it is a more than worthwhile read, touching in some parts and poignant in others. It contains social commentary, examination of gender roles, analysis of the caste system, questions of morality vs. responsibility, and thoughts on sexual mores. As one of the landmark books that features a heroine, it is refreshing in some ways to be introduced to a fiercely independent female with a growing realization of what she truly wants and a temperamental mind as well as a thoughtful one.


What I Say Now:
“Jane Eyre” wasn’t always the easiest read, but I did enjoy Brontë’s very brave and powerful rendering of a female lead character, which was a controversial and difficult choice in her time. Looking back, No. 4 seems like a pretty low rank for what is rightfully considered a literary treasure, but that is no slight considering the company this book keeps this year. I had looked forward to reading this one for a long time, and I found much more than the anticipated coming-of-age tale; I was pleasantly surprised with the emotion and thought-evoking prose that Brontë shared with the world against all odds.

Read My Review

Passage to Remember:

“The vehemence of emotion, stirred by grief and love within me, was claiming mastery, and struggling for full sway and asserting a right to predominate -- to overcome, to live, rise, and reign at last; yes, and to speak.”


#5: “Gold Coast,” by Nelson DeMille

What I Wrote Then:
Once the reader becomes cognizant of this identity of Sutter, the idea of narrator-as-asshole brings up lots of issues of trust between you as the reader and Sutter. While I found him to be funny and a smart-ass (both qualities ascribed to me by various people in various, colorful ways), his social, religious, caste and class commentaries within the writing are both thought-provoking and hypocritical.

I read it without any preconceived notions or expectations, and while I found it both funnier and less sophisticated than I might have guessed, I was also completely captivated. And at the end of the day, there aren’t many higher compliments you can pay a book.


What I Say Now:
“Gold Coast” was your classic guilty-pleasure read, and in that sense, it was a little difficult to place it in the top five here. As for the actual mechanics of writing and prose, it fell short on all counts; yet for pure draw-you-in storytelling and suspense-building, it was hard to surpass this year. The followup, “The Gatehouse,” was horrible, but I was conscious of not downgrading “Gold Coast” as a result of that. So, in the spirit of the fun read, here’s where it ended up.

Read My Review

Passage to Remember:

“And there was a time, you know, not so long ago, as recently as my own childhood in fact, when everyone believed in the future and eagerly awaited it or rushed to meet it. But now nearly everyone I know or used to know is trying to slow the speed of the world as the future starts to look more and more like someplace you don’t want to be.”


HONORABLE MENTION

I had no choice but to add an honorable mention this year. "Social Media 101" by Chris Brogan was so essential to my professional development and career growth in 2010 that I had to find a spot for it. Since it’s basically a collection of links, resources and recommendations, it was hard to classify it into my top-five, but it certainly screamed for recognition on some level. Unquestionably, a tremendous tool from Brogan.


Editor’s Note: I’d be remiss not to mention some of the other standouts from this year, each with varying degrees of awesomeness or suckitude. “Blockade Billy” (Stephen King), “The Gatehouse” (Nelson DeMille), “When March Went Mad” (Tim Peeler), “Call to Action” (Bryan and Jeffrey Eisenberg), “Social Media is a Cocktail Party” (Jim Tobin, Lisa Braziel) and “Fail Nation” (collection).

Friday, January 07, 2011

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIX: Michigan Searches To Find Class, Plus The ‘Fins Embark On Another Impending Coaching Disaster


After a coupla weeks in hiatus, without further ado …

Dick Rod got the shit-can
He’s the bane of every Wolverines fan
Told you all he was a bad fit
Now he asks, confused as shit,
“What the fuck is a Michigan Man?”

A new year arrives roarin’ and revvin’
Time for a resolution or seven
I greet it with gratitude and thanks
And refreshed from the Outer Banks
Is it really 2011?! Good heaven

Ohio State gets a pass from the NCAA
BCS says to Auburn, “You’re OK”
College sports has become such a joke
If cheaters punished, they’d go broke
So UNC-Cheat will likely get away

Birds are falling from the sky
Dead fish are piling high
Is it the apocalypse now?
Mother Earth striking back and how?
For many, more proof the end is now

Not a huge fan of Sparano, per se
But they’re handling him the wrong way
Interviewing with douches like Harbaugh
While he rides an emotional see-saw
Should still respect a lame duck, wouldn’t you say?

Last time

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

2010 Gone Viral

Here's a pretty cool collection of the best viral videos of 2010 if you've got a few minutes to spare.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Your Patio Doesn't Look Like It Used To

December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse from Michael Black on Vimeo.


Check out this pretty amazing time-lapse video of the great blizzard of 2010 in New York.