Blind Midget Patrol Uses Really Small Cane To Find Playoffs Yet Again

After a disappointing end to the WFFL campaign that saw The Scooters finish with a league-best divisional record of 5-1—yet go 0-6 against everyone else and miss the playoffs—the attention has been turned to my other team, Blind Midget Patrol. The Midgies are, frankly, on fire, reeling off three straight blowout wins to end the season and finishing up as the highest-scoring team in the Beyond the Glory ESPN league. BMP is seeking to avenge last year's championship-game loss, with the hopes that the absence of a choking Andre Johnson (although my team does feature a former choke artist in Antonio Gates -- *gulp*) will put us over the top.

I earned the fourth seed in the playoffs, which is mildly disappointing since I was in tremendous position to win the division and earn the first-week bye in the playoffs. After I knocked off the division leader last week, he was on the verge of losing again this week, which would have given us the same final record (8-5), which would have given me the division based on my divisional record (3-1). He held a four-point lead going into Monday night, but his opponent had the Ravens’ Derrick Mason still to play, meaning that it would take only 50 yards (without a touchdown) from a guy who is having a strong year to beat him. Mason’s response? Two catches, 13 yards. To make matters worse, Mason had a long catch that was called back on a highly controversial offensive pass interference, a play that would have given me the division crown. The bye would have meant even more because it would have allowed me an off week to wait for Atlanta back Michael Turner’s ankle to get better. Oh well.

Injuries have been mounting for BMP, but it’s a strong, balanced team that has been putting up lotsa points throughout the second half of the year. My opponent this week is on an amazing seven-game winning streak (yet another reason why a bye woulda been kinda nice), meaning that he went from 1-5 to 8-5 to eke into the playoffs. It’ll be quite a challenge, obviously … but we’re playing for all the blind midgets out there.

OK, it’s just that one lil’ bitch in Durham.

Go Midgies!