Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 6


#1
Big shout out to Dick Enberg, who is retiring from announcing NFL games after this season. Hearing his “Oh my!” after another Dan Marino aerial was truly the soundtrack of my childhood. He was always underrated, he’ll always be the voice of the AFC to me, and he will be truly missed.

#2
When you go to the Home Depot, why is it that, everywhere you turn, middle-aged folks are lurking nearby to help you—but when you go to pay and leave, there are no cashiers to be found?

#3
Kudos to Jerome Harrison of the Browns. I find people from Ohio more annoying than perhaps any other people I’ve ever come across, but this guy got a raw deal simply because he plays for the Browns. I don’t care if you play for or against the West Butner School of the Blind, if you run for 286 yards in an NFL game, you deserve some goddam publicity. This cat ran for almost 300 yards on the pro level and the dingleberry on Peyton Manning’s left cheek got more airtime.

#4
There are plenty of criticisms about Sidney Lowe that are warranted and even more that are baseless and misguided. But I will say that one of the areas where I have been most disappointed in him is in his inability to work the officials. I figured that, coming from the NBA, this would be a stronger point for him. Guys like Georgia Tech’s Paul Hewitt and Virginia Tech’s Seth Greenberg came into the ACC demanding respect and challenging the establishment that wants to keep UNC and Duke at the top. You can argue that they’ve gone overboard, but demanding respect and begging for it (see Sendek, Herb, and Lowe, Sidney) are two very different things.
If there was ever a game when Lowe should have gotten a technical, it was at Wake Forest. The Pack dramatically cuts the lead to four points and mysteriously gets called for about four fouls in the span of 30 seconds. Cut to Lowe on the sideline, shaking his head and bitching to his assistants. By not getting T’d up, he eventually set the stage for Tracy Smith not only fouling out, but then questioning the officiating after the game. So instead of taking ownership of the situation during the game, Lowe sells his player down the river, and THEN suspends him, too? C’mon Sid … Hell, Damon Thornton thinks that Tracy Smith is getting a raw deal from the officials! And you’ll notice that Wildcats coach Sean Miller called out Karl Hess by name prior to the State-Arizona game (by the way, as far as I know, Miller was never punished in any way for this; I’m pretty sure they would have shut down NC State’s entire program if Lowe would have done this), virtually ensuring that ‘Zona got every call down the stretch of that one as well. Stand up for your school, your players and yourself, Lowe! (*steps off soapbox*)

#5
So, Cowboys Stadium is really big, and it’s pretty, and it cost a lot of money. I get it. Can we move on now? At the end of the day, it’s still a fucking stadium. Don’t act like it’s some feat or accomplishment by Jerry Jones simply because he was able to pay a shit-ton of Mexicans a lot of money to build the damn thing. I don’t care if the toilets massage your arse while you drop a deuce, I don’t care if the stadium hovers itself from state to state for away games, I don’t care if the pizza tastes like macaroni and cheese dipped in the nectar of the gods. Just play football for crissakes.

#6
Why do I feel like every player on the Jacksonville Jaguars has dreadlocks?

#7
It’s been going on for years and years and it sure as hell isn’t going anywhere, but the whole extra point-TV timeout-kickoff-TV timeout has always been my pet peeve. Is it really necessary to give me 14 seconds of game action between six minutes of commercials?

#8
I know Jim Zorn is a dead man walking and the Redskins have been something less than watchable for past two weeks, but tossing the highest-paid defensive player in the NFL out of practice when you’re a lame duck takes cajones. Zorn seems like a good dude placed in an unfair and almost impossible situation, and he has consistently taken the high road. I actually hope he gets another chance someday when he is more ready.

#9
I can’t remember a season when there were so many missed extra points and short field goals in the NFL. It is like an entire generation of kickers got some mysterious choking disease all at the same time. I think it’s a good thing, too; I miss the days when there was a degree of risk in any and all kicks.

#10
Let me get this straight: Coach A goes to Player B and informs him that he is benched. Player B yells at Coach A on national television. Coach A further explains decision to Player B on sidelines. Player B refuses Coach A and re-enters game. Player B then needlessly calls out Coach A publicly after the game.
If Player B were anyone in the NFL besides Butt Favre, there would be an enormous backlash of accusations about the player being selfish, a diva, a locker room cancer, a prima donna and a coach-killer. Because Player B is Favre, instead the story is about how much he “loves the game” and just wants to keep playing with a “child-like enthusiasm.” For those who have a hard time understanding why so many fans now hate Favre, this is reason #624.

and ...

#11
Under special circumstances, you get a bonus one today. Since Texas Tech fired coach Mike Leach (this qualifies as breaking news here at Scooter & Hum) today as part of a bonafide fiasco, I have to touch on this. I used to work with a lady from Lubbock who, before the Red Raiders became a true power, said that word around that city was that Mike Leach was either a) an alcoholic, b) crazy or c) both. The latest charge (and it’s the first allegation of player abuse in Leach’s decade at Texas Tech) centered around Leach confining a concussed player, Adam James, in a closet or shed, depending on who you listen to.
However, since it took ESPN about a full day to admit that the kid involved was the son of their analyst, Craig James, you have to wonder about what truly happened—especially since some of Adam James’s former teammates have come out and said that he was not a hard worker and had a bad attitude. So one could make a compelling argument that this is what happened: a well-placed ESPN announcer who took money while he was a college athlete and helped run one Texas program, SMU, into the ground, basically enlisted the media outlet he works for to help run a coach out of town because his son wasn't handed a starting job because of his name. It sounds like Texas Tech sped the due process partly because of ESPN’s involvement and partly because they’re still upset that Leach interviewed with other schools last year without their permission, in which case I don’t blame Leach for filing a restraining order in return. It sounds eminently possible that Leach is gone because he burned bridges with Texas Tech last year, he was owed $800K on New Year's Eve if he was still coach and ESPN got involved. Either way, this one stinks, and stinks really bad.

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