In many ways, I knew my Blind Midget Patrol chances were sunk when I got screwed out of getting the bye week for the playoffs. Still, despite another insane outing by my opponent's Chris Johnson, I still had a shot to advance. Down 23 points, I had Anquan Boldin and Neil Rackers going for the Cardinals against the ‘Niners—certainly not the situation you want to be in, but eminently doable. A couple of field goals from Rackers and a touchdown and a typical yardage game from Boldin and I could pull this thing out.
Of course, then Rackers gets hurt during freaking pregame warmups and Arizona pulls an el fold-o against San Fran, with Boldin pitching in with very little yardage and a fumble to boot. So not getting the bye killed me, as I had predicted, and I ended up losing by 19 points to the league’s hottest team.
The following week, it didn’t help that I didn’t realize that we played a consolation round in my league, so I didn’t make any transactions until after the deadline. Then, Michael Turner got hurt on his first carry of his game, taking one of my big hitters out of the fray immediately. The result? I still romped over my foe to end up at 9-6 overall, scoring a whopping 126 points. Holy crap.
So despite Turner’s persistent injuries, I managed to average an incredible 103.2 points per game over the last five weeks. Once again, I had the best and easily the highest-scoring team in my fantasy football league -- and have nothing to show for it but a fourth-place finish.
Anyway, great job, Blind Midget Patrol; you were an epic team. It was an honor to coach you …
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