Monday, November 03, 2008

The Scooters Update: Fantasy Football Blows Donkeys


Not as good as last year, but still alive. Gotta have some guys step up and be counted.


QUARTERBACK

This has been a problem spot for The Scooters all year long, with the guy on the bench almost always putting up a huge game.

Trent Edwards, Beefalo: While surpassing expectations, Edwards is the quintessential accurate quarterback who gives you around 200 yards, one touchdown and one interception per game. Nothing earth-shattering, but will usually keep you in the game—expect for that week where former Pack safety Adrian Wilson scrambled his brain on the second play of that contest. As the 241st overall selection, in the 18th and final round as an afterthought, Edwards has represented a net win for me.

Jeff Garcia, Tampa Bay: Unfortunately, being the only gay man in the history of the world to ever marry a former Playmate of the Year gives you no point in my fantasy league. "Chucky" Gruden is exasperating with his quarterback merry-go-round, and Garcia has killed me time and again by throwing for 330 yards on the weeks I don't play him and roughly 185 and an interception on the weeks that I do. Drafting Marc Bulger in the 7th round (96th overall) is looking "questionable" in hindsight.


RUNNING BACKS

Decimated by injury and underperformance, a perceived strength has turned into a huge question mark as the season has gone on.

Frank Gore, San Francisco: My first-round pick (12th overall), Gore has been a beast for much of the year. The only person that can stop him is 49ers offensive coordinator Mike Martz, who is allergic to running the ball more than 20 times per game and was apparently being blackmailed by J.T. O'Sullivan for most of the season. Gore would appear to be a perfect fit in an offense that features a lot of swing passes to the running back, but the hope is that interim coach Mike Singletary will force Martz to start pounding the rock in the second half of the season. After Singletary pulled down his pants in front of the team, I don't expect the 49ers to argue with him too much down the stretch.

Joseph Addai, Indy: In all respects, Addai has been a disaster. I pulled the trigger on a trade that brought me Addai for Marion Barber two weeks into the season, and while I stand by the rationale behind that deal (and Barber isn't exactly killing it this year), it's one I wish I had back. The former LSU Tiger has been hurt for much of the season and has been a dead man walking behind the Colts' brutal offensive line. I have faint hope he'll turn it around to become a respectable force the remainder of the season, but he's no longer a guy that teams can count on to put up consistent numbers.

Edgerrin James, Arizona: The end is near for the Rumblin' Rastafarian, my fourth-round pick (44th overall). He's been surpassed in the starting lineup by a late-round rookie back, and a coupla weeks ago, he got me a -2, thanks to a 12-yard, one-fumble effort. There was a time when I thought a Gore/Barber/James triumvirate at running back would carry me, but that seems like a distant memory. Unfortunately, James is basically unstartable for the rest of this season.

Felix Jones, Dallas: In the circus that surrounds the Cowboys, this kid began to seem like a steal as my late-round keeper pick (157th overall). He was scoring a touchdown every game, ripping off huge plays, stealing carries from Barber … until the bottom fell out when he didn't get a single touch in a matchup with Washington, then he pulled his hammy and has been out for weeks. Having Barber's handcuff helped me make the decision to deal Barber for Addai, but with Jones sidelined and Addai scuffling, the situation has become a weakness instead of a strength.

Kevin Smith, Detroit: Amazingly, this waiver-wire pickup might end up being one of my best transactions of the year. Of course, the Lions are horrific, but Smith can catch the ball out of the backfield and has passed up Rudi Johnson in the pecking order at tailback. When Jones returns to active duty, it looks like I'll have to throw Edge under the bus (off the bus?) and keep Smith around.


WIDE RECEIVER

The strength of the team has been in my top two wideouts, but the depth behind them has been marked by players at similar career stages who have simply not "arrived." Injuries have been staggering at this position as well. Giving up on Donnie Avery (my 15th-round-pick, 208th overall) after three weeks looks like a Steinbrenner-esque decision at this point.

Roddy White, Atlanta: Easily the Scooters midseason Most Valuable Player. My keeper from last year for the price of a sixth-rounder this year, White has turned out to be a great decision for me. He's gone from a tall red-zone target to a guy who can give you a 60-yard touchdown from time to time, and he's been my most consistent player. It looks like his rapport with rookie QB Matty "Ice" Ryan is only going to get better and better.

Steve Smith, Carolina: Smith has been a one-man wrecking ball since he came back from beating the ever-lovin' christ out of a teammate. I rolled the dice on him as my third-rounder (40th overall) even though I knew he'd be suspended for the first two games. He has rewarded that faith by ripping off monster games almost every week, and if I can ever get everyone healthy and past their byes at the same time, he could be a centerpiece for a second-half run.

Brandon Lloyd, Chicago: An early-season waiver-wire grab, Lloyd produced a couple of huge outings early on, emerging as Kyle "the Neckbeard" Orton's top target. However, a nagging knee injury has not only limited his productivity, but has knocked him out of several games. He is usually a game-time decision, so there have been a couple of weeks where I've put him in the lineup—only to learn later that he was not active for the game. His injury has hampered me big-time during other players' bye weeks.

Sidney Rice, Minnesota: Rice is one of those upside wideouts who had the looks late last year of a kid who might make the leap in 2008. Not so much. My ninth-rounder (124th overall) has snared a TD here or there, but usually doesn't catch more than one pass per game and has been battling injuries basically all season long. Obviously, you can't count too much on a ninth-rounder, but it would be nice to have him as a bye-week replacement from time to time.

Bryant Johnson, San Francisco: Johnson got off to a promising start, and there were signs that he could become the No. 1 wideout for the 49ers new fast-break offense. Grabbing him in the 10th round (129th overall) looked like a nice move for roughly a month, until he also got hurt and has become an afterthought behind the ageless wonder, Isaac Bruce. Yet another guy who has been hampered by injury and hasn't progressed as a receiver like many expected.

Donte' Stallworth, Cleveland: The winner of the "Fragile" Fred Taylor Award, Stallworth is quickly gaining a reputation for being a bitch. The first sign that he wasn't going to be a contributor is when he injured himself in PREGAME FREAKING WARMUPS for the season opener. This eighth-rounder (101st overall) has been another enormous disappointment for The Scooters.


TIGHT END

I have nothing to say here that doesn't involve curse words.

Kellen Winslow, Cleveland: Tabbed in the 5th round (68 overall), Winslow had breakout year written all over him. Unfortunately for me, Derek Anderson remembered that he was Derek Anderson, Winslow remembered that he is supposed to be hurt all the time and popping wheelies on tiny motorcycles, Winslow contracted syphilis, and Winslow blasted the Browns for being the Browns and got suspended. Terrible year at a position that could have helped separate me. "Soldier," my ass.

L.J. Smith, Philly: Between injuries and concussions, my 14th-rounder (185th overall) has chipped in with an occasional score in Winslow's stead. All in all, he's performed like a 14th-rounder, so I can't complain too much here. But I will anyway.


KICKER

Robbie Gould, Da Bears: I grabbed Gould with my second-to-last pick (17th round, 236th overall), and with the resurgence of the Bears offense combined with the disappearance of the Browns' attack, Gould has been steady and dependable.

Phil Dawson, Cleveland: If you can't tell, I drank the Browns Kool-Aid this offseason, thinking their offensive would put up beaucoup points. Not that a kicker in the 11th round (152th overall) is out of line, but Dawson's relative lack of productivity has been a by-product of Cleveland's stagnant offense.


DEFENSE

Buffalo: Losing Roscoe Parrish early on took a huge special-teams weapon away from this unit. However, the Bills are a more-than-solid defense when you consider where they were selected (13th round, 180 overall).

Atlanta: I've been able to take advantage of the Falcons' weak schedule from time to time by starting this unit against terrible opponents, and it has worked well for me. This 16th-round (213th overall) choice singlehandedly kept me in the game this week with an amazing effort at Oakland.


OUTLOOK

With my record (likely) sliding to 4-4-1, I'm a couple of games behind where I thought it would be. I've had some tight losses, a string of unfortunate injuries (this is the fantasy football version of the NC State Wolfpack) and some unlucky start-bench decisions, but I'm still in the thick of the race for the playoffs with three games left. I may have to win out to ensure a spot, but looking back at my draft, there are few choices I would have made differently. A little more patience with Avery and a little more foresight with Edge would have helped me out big-time, but it is what it is.

Go Scooters!

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