Five more can't- miss prospects for those of us recently-laid-off writers (god knows we're out there). Giddyup …
Title: bar mitzvah parady
Category: Writing / Editing / Translation
Description: I am wanting to do a song parady with my two teenage daughters about our son-brother for his bar mtizvah. can you help. needed by dec 6 2008.
thank-you
randy
Comments:
I consider myself a fairly talented writer, but I see no way to comfortably rhyme the words "kanish" and "circumcision." Though I do hear that a "parady" can be a quite charming ice-breaker for a nervous "son-brother" during a very emotional and terrifying day. Because nothing eases the tension better than having two teenage daughters cracking jokes on and harassing their brother. For possible ideas, please refer to "The Serenity Now" episode of "Seinfeld" for inspiration.
Title: Copywriter for Marketing Materials
Category: Writing / Editing / Translation
Description: Company Description:I am a children's portrait photographer. I photograph babies, children, families, and expectant mothers on location in their home or favorite location. I've been in business about one year, and I am now looking to create some new marketing materials to promote my business.
Project Description:I am putting together a new program for my clients, similar to Pampered Chef or Mary Kay parties, in which one client will host a photo party at their home, and invite their friends and their children to all be photographed at the same time. The more sales that are generated, the greater the discounts and bonuses for the host. I am looking for help writing content for a brochure to explain and promote this new plan and describe my business. I also would like help writing copy to describe the various products that are available for purchase such as albums, photo books, and canvas wraps.
Document Purpose:Increase Brand Awareness, Increase Customer Loyalty/Retention, Increase Market Share, Increase Revenue, Increase Site Traffic, Introduce Product/Service
Comments:
I get it: sort of a Tupperware party meets kind of a Jon-Benet Ramsay cookout?
Title: Re-write Testimonials
Category: Writing / Editing / Translation
Description: I need 15 to 25 testimonials written. They will need to be 100 to 150 words each (ex: 15 longer ones or 25 shorter ones). Will pay $30 total via SafePay Invoice.
Comments:
Something like this? "A is great at B, C and D. I wish more E's were more like A, because then F and G would be much H'er and I'er. If I could have more J's like A, my K would succeed in L and M ways. God bless A!" So you're looking for 2,500 words of made-up testimonials for $30? Throwing all that money around and providing so many details just sounds like a can't-miss business plan.
Title: Swedish to Danish Translation
Category: Writing / Editing / Translation
Description: We would like to have this dokument translated from Swedish to Danish.
KFI Spa Management AB
Stockholm Sweden
Comments: No "dokument" is worth this unless Heidi or pony-tailed Swedish Bikini Team members are involved.
Wait, a spa is involved? Hmmm …
Title: Ghostwriting lyricist needed
Category: Writing / Editing / Translation
Description: Have lyrics that need editing, proof reading, fixing, improving etc....(approximately 15 pages of standard length songs) all in the pop/rock, singer/songwriter genre mostly basic boy-girl relationship themes.
I am also looking for someone to create 20-30 pages of new lyrics and then probably more to come.
The new lyric theme is sort of a gothic/renaissance (fantasy) fictional story but based in the future but relevant with the "new beginning of life" to be used as a new concept lyrical/musical piece (the style of music FYI is progressive, rock, jazz, pop)
I, of course, will provide story details and notes of the characters, etc...
Also, if you own or have miscellaeous lrics that you are proud to sell I would love to buy some pieces of your work. Themes can be of any except religious content.
Flexible on time and deadlines but give me an idea what you would need to do to complete what I have mentioned.
I stress the importance of the ghostwriting aspect as the musician/bands I am affiliated with will want the flexibility to rewrite and change the writings if necessary.
Also, you will not receive credit, except possibly an acknowledgement or thanks in a finished marketed cd, etc...
Looking forward to the responses!
Best to you.
Comments:
Ashlee Simpson's agent, is that you?
This might be the greatest sentence I've read in a while: " The new lyric theme is sort of a gothic/renaissance (fantasy) fictional story but based in the future but relevant with the "new beginning of life" to be used as a new concept lyrical/musical piece (the style of music FYI is progressive, rock, jazz, pop) I, of course, will provide story details and notes of the characters, etc..." Closely followed, of course, by "Themes can be of any except religious content."
Somewhere, Cat Stevens is smiling.
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