Limerick Friday #588: Hide All Your British Isles -- Day 1,210

 

London was intense

Dublin was tense

Glasgow was gritty

But for my favorite city

Edinburgh made the most sense

After turmoil and strife

And pitchers under the knife

Clues are there

Something's in the air

The Mets showing signs of life

Voices were raised

But sites were praised

Coffee by the cup

The steps they added up

Upon so much cool shit we gazed

Summer races

At staggering paces

Travel and heat

It can't be beat

For its many facets and faces

Think of all that business

That we're gonna win us

Or maybe not

What else ya got?

I'll be over here with a Guinness

Last time ...

Day 1,209, Quasi-Quarantine: "The Backstreets" Explores Existential And Physical Effects Of Calculated Racism In China

 

"Everyone was a wanderer in the universe and that the ideas of fame, power, and respect were always just a shadow that could vanish at a moment's notice."

Steeped in surreality, "The Backstreets" documents the stark racism involved in Uyghur existence in Xinjiang. Writer Perhat Tursun -- who has been disappeared by Chinese authorities -- has created a multilayered book that ascribes important symbolism to colors, numbers, and anthropomorphization.

With no dialogue, the story takes place entirely inside the narrator's mind, which slowly breaks down under the pressure of childhood abuse, loneliness, racism, sexual frustration, and homelessness. Based on hope and desperation, the narrator embarks on a quest to find a room, having drawn mysterious importance from a list of numbers found on an abandoned piece of paper.

"People seem to be endlessly searching for miracles in the world, but when they find one it angers them."

A line is repeated throughout the tale, capturing the narrator's frame of mind as he pursues belonging around every corner and within every alley. "I don't know anyone in this strange city, so it's impossible for me to be friends or enemies with anyone," he thinks. The dislocation captured in this statement permeates the entire book.

"The Backstreets" proceeds at a frantic pace occasionally interrupted by jumps in chronology, making vital observations about pollution of both environment and souls. This eerie, haunting book helps form an essential source of context in the ongoing genocide of the Uyghur people in China.

"To eradicate the threat that comes from the infinity of the universe, humans have broken it up into the small parts where they live -- giving it borders and standards."

Day 1,208, Quasi-Quarantine: Lego Hero Renders "The Shining" In Brick

The Overlook has never looked better in this Lego homage to Stephen King and "The Shining."

So good.

Day 1,206, Quasi-Quarantine: Smiling Through The Pain

 

After more than a week and a half away from work, I'm channeling Hide the Pain Harold in a big way on this holiday eve Monday.

Blessedly, my colleagues are scarce today. 

May it ever be so.

Limerick Friday #587: All Signs Point To Escaping The Country -- Day 1,189

By the most generous of views

Just finding way to lose

Baserunning like the blind

Fielding of the worst kind

The Mets make me reach for booze

Ineptitude abounds

Direction confounds

"Hark, what do I hear?"

As I loom over a beer

Oh, just incompetence sounds

He pulled every grammatical lever

Of punctuation he always said "Never!"

To Cormac McCarthy, rest in peace

His legacy will never cease

America's best novelist ever

Consistency they lack

Step forward, step back

In the standings they fall

With sloppy ball

Will Buck end up getting the sack?

As quality we keep wreckin'

'Tis time to leave, I reckon

Pour me black gold

Watch the drama unfold

As the British Isles beckon

Last time ...

Day 1,188, Quasi-Quarantine: Choosing Speed Over Everything, Miami Drafts A Lightning-Quick, Undersized Running Back

Once more eschewing the offensive line after targeting South Carolina cornerback Cam Smith in the second round, Miami returned to the SEC in the next round, tabbing Texas A&M running back De'Von Achane with the 84th overall pick.

In his initial rankings, draft analyst Dane Brugler considered Achane the No. 48 overall player, and at draft time Brugler had him rated the No. 67 overall player and fourth-best running back in the draft, assigning him a second-/third-round grade.

The pluses: Achane was the only Power 5 player in the land to score rushing, receiving, and returning, and he led the SEC and was fourth in the nation in all-purpose yards per game with 161. In his last two seasons at A&M, he rushed for more than 2,000 yards and 17 touchdowns, adding 60 receptions and four receiving scores, to go with two kickoff return touchdowns.

A three-team track All-American in college, Achane's calling card is speed. He was clocked at 4.32 seconds in the 40-yard dash, the third-fastest time recorded at the scouting combine. 

Most analysts are quick to point out that Achane is not just a track star playing football, with the youngster displaying a toughness that many track standouts don't find on the gridiron. He only fumbled twice in his career, and after a foot injury sidelined him for two games, he refused to shut down his season and just prep for the draft. Instead, he returned for the season finale, torching LSU for 215 yards and forcing 16 missed tackles in a monumental upset.

Achane is credited with uncanny acceleration that allows him to be patient as a runner, following his blocks until he finds a crease he can exploit instantly. He makes quick reads, excels on counter plays, and is a threat in the passing game and on special teams.

The negatives: Measuring 5-8, 188 pounds, Achane is not built to withstand a heavy workload, perhaps evidenced by a foot injury that sidelined him for part of his final season at Texas A&M. He also was only a one-year starter in college before skipping his final campaign.

Scouts questioned Achane's refinement as an inside runner, pass catcher, and pass blocker. He struggled to run through contact or finish carries with power, leading some to wonder whether he profiles best as a wide receiver -- in fact, some teams evaluated him as a wideout for the draft.

The bottom line: Listen, a player of Achane's versatility and explosion is going to find touches in any offense somehow. Yet with Raheem Mostert, Jeff Fuller, Salvon Ahmed, Myles Gaskin -- and maybe even Dalvin Cook? -- returning to the Dolphins backfield, workload and role are questions for Achane.

Throwing his huge potential as a returner into the mix, Achane reminds me of NC State alum Nyheim Hines, who has carved out essential roles in Indianapolis and Buffalo in the NFL. There are separate questions related to why Miami ignored the offensive line with their first two selections and whether Achane represents a luxury pick, but the reality is that coach Mike McDaniel has proven that he is going to stockpile as many speedy offensive weapons as he can -- and from that standpoint, many are giddy about the myriad ways Achane could be employed as yet another game-breaker on South Beach.

Day 1,187, Quasi-Quarantine: "Biography Of X" Is A Stunning, Omnigenre Exploration Of Perspective And Identity

 

"Anyone who was ever fortunate enough to be a part of X's life had to accept this hazard -- she lived in a play without intermission in which she'd cast herself in every role."

A sprawling, hyper-ambitious work, "Biography of X" pivots from genre to genre as the story demands. The result is a stunning read that compels the reader to question narration and the nature of biography itself.

"I desired her beyond reason, beyond self-protection, beyond common sense, and it is just as difficult to call that love from afar as it is not to call it love when within it."

Catherine Lacy also manages to weave disturbing elements of contemporary society into the work, with references to "The Great Disunion" and "South First!" as part an alternate history. These allusions are unexpected but adeptly handled, lending a weight to the overall story.

" ... Though most of the time I did not question the illusion I lived within, there were moments when I could see our life clearly and knew that everything was beautiful and nothing was right."

On top of this historical undercurrent, Lacey builds a tale of grief management and a commentary on the lens that love forces us to view the world through. "Biography of X" is almost overwhelming in its sheer number of layers, but is well worth the work required to consider it holistically.

"At the morgue they weighed her body, measured it, measured each limb, weighed each organ, determined the cause of death. They gave me a document that described her body in the most discrete terms, as if we could ever say for certain where she ended and where the world began."

Day 1,186, Quasi-Quarantine: Take Me Out To The Y'all Game

 

We've talked a bit about the five stages of Five County Stadium recently, so it was awesome to make a return visit for a Carolina Mudcats game on a jersey-giveaway day.

The Muddies took on the Fayetteville Woodpeckers, but lost 8-2 when they left some poor bastard named Yujanyer Herrera in to get shelled way after he was shot. Herrera gave up six hits, four walks, and seven earned runs in two and two-thirds innings. We felt bad for him.

But otherwise, you can't beat Mango Tango Foxtrot and round nachos Tostitos as a belated birthday gift on a beautiful day.

Day 1,185, Quasi-Quarantine: Ready Or Not, Here Comes The Summer

 

It's time to set the alarm clock slightly later and adjust to the absence of carpool, disgruntled children, and hectic morning routines. Even for just a few blissful months.

I'll take it. Thanks, Undertones.

Day 1,181, Quasi-Quarantine: It's Past Time For The Mets To Trade Vogey For A Hoagie

OK, so New York has a ton of problems right now. Well, yes, the city itself is currently glowing orange amidst smoke from Canadian forest fires, so I should clarify that I'm referring to the Mets. And one of the biggest of those problems -- literally and figuratively -- is Daniel Vogelbach.

I've been an unabashed "Vogey" fan for purely name- and Farley-related reasons, but he's hitting .203 with seven extra-base hits, driving in just 14 runs all season. Due largely to his pure ineptitude, the Mets rank 27th in baseball in designated hitter OPS (.669) more than 60 games into the campaign.

As of today, he has exactly four hits in his last 44 at-bats, including a single extra-base hit. Overall, the Mets are one of just seven teams with fewer than four players with more than five homers.

You're starting to see the problem, right? On a team bereft of pure power sources outside of Pete Alonso, Vogelbach can provide no protection for the "Polar Bear," and not just from a power standpoint, but from a, like, making-contact-with-the-ball standpoint.

Vogelbach was brought in as part of a disastrous trade deadline for New York last year, which also saw a horrific trade for another failed DH option in Darren Ruf. Vogelbach was swapped for reliever Colin Holderman, who, of course, has posted a 2.74 ERA for the Pirates, striking out 27 batters in 23 innings. Think the Mets could use a 6-7 righty out of the 'pen about now?

Exacerbating the issue is the presence of three highly-thought-of rookies in catcher Francisco Alvarez, third baseman Brett Baty, and first- and third baseman Mark Vientos. Only Baty is a lefty like Vogelbach, but manager Buck Showalter would rather bury Vientos on the bench and play multiple players out of position in an effort to manufacture offense instead of acknowledging the reality that Vogelbach is unplayable at this point.

The only logical way forward is to give Vogelbach's at bats to Vientos and Baty (letting the latter DH on occasion and letting Eduardo Escobar handle third), try to flip Vogelbach for a low- to mid-tier volume reliever, and call Luis Guillorme back up to the bigs.

Because the stubborness and refusal to embrace what the data and our eyes are telling us are quickly morphing this situation from a Vogey problem to a Showalter problem.

Day 1,180, Quasi-Quarantine: Unreliable Narration, Tragic Irish Demons Dominate "Old God's Time"

 

"Things happened to people, and some people were required to lift great weights that crushed if you faltered just for a moment. It was his job not to falter. But every day he faltered. Every day he was crushed, and rose again the following morn like a cartoon figure."

Questionable memories and an unreliable narrator dominate the latest novel from Sebastian Barry, as "Old God's Time" follows a retired Irish detective as he attempts to find peace after a lifetime of loss.

As Tom Kettle is drawn back into an investigation that kindles remembrances of what has become of his family and how shared childhood traumas have reverberated in pain over the years. The bulwark of an old castle on the island's shore isn't enough of a haven to protect Kettle from the strain of his own legacy.

"He cradled the memory of his wife as if she were still a living being. As if no one had been crushed, no one had been hurried from the halls of life, and the power of his love could effect that, could hold her buoyant and eternal in the embrace of an ordinary day."

Presiding over a master class in pacing, Barry handles horrific content with as much grace and elegance as possible. The beauty and brutality of pastoral Ireland function as characters in this book populated with ghosts and unicorns, making "Old God's Time" a painful but rewarding read.

"He stood at the picture window and the sea was a million grey dinner plates below, surging in the channel. Spinning and dipping, each one a circus trick, a clown's trick."

Day 1,179, Quasi-Quarantine: The 'Fins Target a Raw Corner Prospect With First 2023 Draft Pick

While most assumed Miami would pull the trigger on an offensive lineman with its No. 51 selection in the 2023 NFL Draft, the 'Fins instead used their second-rounder on South Carolina cornerback Cam Smith.

In February, the 6-1, 180-pounder was considered the No. 51 overall player (exactly where he ended up being picked!) by draft analyst Dane Brugler, who tabbed him as the No. 4 corner at that point. Post-combine, Brugler had him as the No. 66 overall player and the No. 10 cornerback, assigning him a second-/third-round grade. 

The pluses: A capable tackler who plays with swagger, Smith uses explosive athleticism (4.43-yard 40-yard dash, 38-inch vertical) to play the boundary or the nickel. A three-year starter at South Carolina, he led the SEC in pass breakups with 14 in 2021. Smith exhibits good closing burst that makes him a better fit for a zone scheme -- the preferred system of new defensive coordinator Vic Fangio.

The negatives: The lanky Smith can get overpowered by stronger receivers, which can lead to grabbiness -- he was flagged 11 times last year. He struggles to get off blocks, still has work to do in anticipating routes, and has the phrases "wild tendencies" and "unrefined technique" in his scouting report -- sub-optimal for a second-round selection.

Smith recorded just 27 tackles, six pass breakups, and a single interception as a redshirt junior, failing to build on the previous season that saw him emerge as a major draft prospect. He blocked a field goal, but does not have a ton of special-teams experience. Smith missed a game with a concussion and opted out of his team's bowl game, giving the sense that he did not close his college career in top form.

The bottom line: Smith is the kind of draft selection who looks better in the context of who will be coaching him. He's a strong fit for a Fangio scheme, and the Dolphins have a heavy need at this spot based on Byron Jones's mysterious (and potentially career-ending) injury, Xavien Howard's gradual decline, and the number of reserve defensive backs coming off of injury.

Will Fangio be able to help Smith translate his rare traits into consistent contributions? Will the youngster find enough reps behind Howard, Jaylen Ramsey, Kader Kohou, and potentially Nik Needham? 

There is a sense that there were more polished talents available in this coveted second-round position, and the lack of investment in offensive linemen was frustrating. However, Miami has been awful at drafting along the OL anyway, so it's certainly understandable to use the choice on a high-ceiling cornerback. Whether Smith represents not only the right position to invest in but the right corner to invest in will be a very interesting storyline to follow this year and beyond.

Day 1,178, Quasi-Quarantine: The Wolfpack Ends A Promising Campaign With A Whimper

 

After a seriously promising start on Friday that saw the team knock off Campbell, the NC State baseball team got bounced out of the NCAA Tournament. To honor a classically up-and-down campaign, the Pack lost both games in the double-elimination regional in vastly different ways.

In the Saturday evening game, the Wolfpack lost 6-3, clawing back from a six-run deficit to repeatedly threaten host South Carolina with hard-hit balls. Despite out-hitting the Gamecocks 12-8, State hit into three double plays and left a dozen runners on base in a frustrating defeat.

On Sunday, the Pack had nothing, giving up runs in each of the first four innings to fall behind 8-0 before eventually losing 11-1. NC State ace and one-time College World Series hero Sam Highfill gave up seven hits and five runs in just two-and-a-third innings. The Wolfpack drilled 11 more hits, but grounded into four more double plays and managed to go 1-for-12 with runners in scoring position.

With most feeling this NC State team left a lot of meat on the bone, the criticism of manager Elliott Avent feels different this year. A lack of situational awareness plagued the Pack all year, and with rumors about a very busy transfer portal looming, Avent & Co. are in for a dramatic offseason.

Limerick Friday #586: Bidding Adieu To The Precious Pair Of "Ted Lasso" And "Barry" -- Day 1,175

 

The corniness was strong 

And maybe a little long

But how to end a show

Like freaking "Ted Lasso"?

Cherished every tear and song

Guidance is manic

Leadership by panic

Unilateral decisions

To universal derision

Can we find a manager mechanic?

Starters are coming around

A modicum of offense found

The Metsies showing life

Amidst the injury and strife

But I still miss that trumpet sound

Good beyond any reason or rhyme

But it was finally time

To end the best show on TV

At least according to me

"Barry," you were simply sublime

It's been a minute

But ya gotta be in it

Pack in the postseason

The NCAA finally shows reason

Now just go freaking win it

Last time ...

Day 1,174, Quasi-Quarantine: The Five Stages Of Five County Stadium

 

This New Yorker cartoon resonated with me in a big way. Discovering and sharing the Carolina Mudcats with my son has been an amazing way to feel like a kid again. Looking forward to many more trips to see them play this summer.

Go Muddies (HEDBERT!!!).

Day 1,173, Quasi-Quarantine: Drifting Trio Searches California Desert For Meaning In "Generation X"

 

"Our systems had stopped working, jammed with the odor of copy machines, Wite-Out, the smell of bond paper, and the endless stress of pointless jobs done grudgingly to little applause. We had compulsions that made us confuse shopping with creativity, to take downers and assume that merely renting a video on a Saturday night was enough. But now that we live here in the desert, things are much, much better."

Douglas Coupland's poignant look at cultural listlessness in the late 1980s and early 1990s is hilarious and relatable. "Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture" documents three friends who try to find their identities on the edge of the California desert, trading stories instead of revealing their true feelings.

"'Either our lives become stories, or there's just no way to get through them.'

"I agree. Dag agrees. We know that this is why the three of us left our lives behind us and came to the desert -- to tell stories and to make our own lives worthwhile tales in the process."

The trio purposely takes jobs below their stations, tending bar or working at cosmetics counters -- as much for material as subsistence. The three come from disconnected families and seek to forge a new family together as they experience random vandalizing, mind-numbing parties, misunderstood love, and unattainable happiness.

"Two days before Christmas, Palm Springs Airport is crammed with cranberry-skinned tourists and geeky scalped marines all heading home for their annual doses of slammed doors, righteously abandoned meals, and the traditional family psychodramas."

Coupland has created a memorable novel that aptly captures the zeitgest of its generation, with accompanying definitions and social commentary that are purely hysterical. "Generation X" is a fun, revealing ride that resonates strongly with those of us who are members.

"She chirped away, making all sorts of plans. Tobias merely listened in at the other end like a restaurant patron being lengthily informed of the day's specials -- mahimahi, flounder, swordfish -- all of which he knew right from the start he didn't want."

Day 1,172, Quasi-Quarantine: "The Office" Is Found In The "City Of Fire"

It's been jarring to watch "City on Fire" without being distracted by how much the 'bag husband in the show looks like Ryan Howard from "The Office."

Actor Ashley Zukerman -- performing as the adroitly-'baggy-named Keith Lamplighter -- is a dead ringer for Ryan's B.J. Novak. So much so that I spend much of "City on Fire" waiting for Keith to pull a scam on Kelly Kapoor in Central Park.

Run your game, Temp.

Limerick Friday #585: Just Out Here Breaking Arms Patting Our Own Backs -- Day 1,168

While coworkers slum it

Morale does plummet

But oh,  when it's event time

Watch everyone claw and climb

To be included atop the summit

Their breath they did catch

With a good stretch

But back to form

Mediocrity the norm

The Metsies make me wanna retch

Such a rock star, fam

Super impressed, I am

You killed it, I'm sure

Kudos and plaudits and more

Way to rock that doing-your-job jam

Back on the bubble

For State, that always spells trouble

A pre-emptive "F the NCAA"

To cap ACC Tournament day

Trying to find hope amidst the rubble

Please do not pass go

On a TV unicorn, that's so

A wholesome tale

Resonated without fail

Bracing for a farewell to "Ted Lasso"

Last time ...

Day 1,167 , Quasi-Quarantine: It's The Most Performative Time Of The Year

 

'Tis the season for people breaking their ankles trying to step over everyone else to take credit for an event that is seen as successful solely on the basis that it happened rather than whether it worked.

Day 1,166, Quasi-Quarantine: North Dakota, Sexual Identity, Family Meaning Clash In "Boys and Oil"

 

"I wanted to find a story where a little gay boy could fit into the world he came from, rather than running to find a way to escape the prairie of his childhood."

Taylor Brorby's story of growing up closeted on the harsh and unforgiving North Dakota terrain -- and what happens when he exposes who he really is to those elements -- is part autobiography and part ecological dissertation.

"Boys and Oil: Growing Up Gay in a Fractured Land" weaves mileposts of the author's maturation with vignettes of his relationship with his land and his family -- which are often the same thing. 

As Brorby deals with a sense of dislocation by roaming the country looking for a home and a mission, North Dakota keeps drawing him back. His efforts to reconcile what he loves and fears about the state are at times heartbreaking and admirable.

"Spare emotions fester in a landscape where the only way capitalism has made sense of the American West is to fence it in, break it into 160-acre parcels, frack, mine, dam, and cut it to a stubble."

The competing tales of identity and activism are occasionally at odds, and the writing can feel overwrought at times, but the overall effect is worthwhile. "Boys and Oil" is an emotional look at how the ways in which we define family can impact our choices and paths.

"Like a grain of sand pushed by the current, my life has meandered, slowly shifted farther downstream, where it inches toward a new beginning as I continue to search for the deep current, to find the place where I am meant to be."

Day 1,165, Quasi-Quarantine: Had It Right, Yoda Did, Usual As

 

This is so relatable it's like I woke up on Dagobah.

Day 1,164, Quasi-Quarantine: I'm Just Here For The Trophy

 

As soon as you think you're out, they drag you back in ...

This season, I elected to focus on being a Dad instead of a coach. Cheering for my kid instead of getting caught up in the swirl of emotion that surrounds kid sports felt like the right choice based on the trials of recent seasons.

Welp, that lasted a few weeks. I was called on to help the Bengals complete an undefeated season with a couple of playoff games. After a couple of tense moments, we took home the trophy.

A great group of kids -- and some silent parents -- made it a really fun and rewarding experience. 

Go Bengals!

Limerick Friday #584: "Barry" Barrels Toward A Frantic Finale -- Day 1,161

 

Things are getting hairy

And more than a little scary

Humor dissipating

As tension's escalating

In this stellar wind-down to "Barry"

The scandal was gagged

But a transcript flagged

UNC courses rejected

Now Caleb Love is dejected

And the Cheater label is re-tagged

He was sick

But they needed his stick

So he homered thrice

And threw up twice

The Polar Bear's legend is thick

Michigan was paying attention

And told UNC with condescension

"This is a juco class

"How did you even pass?"

But locally, not a mention

Hanging by a thread

Postseason hopes nearly dead

This is baseball at State

Our yearly fandom fate

Optimism mixed with existential dread

Last time ...

Day 1,160, Quasi-Quarantine: A Polar Bear Provides Hope

It's dangerous to call anything a turning point. So I'll just call it hope.

LFGM.

Day 1,159, Quasi-Quarantine: "The Trees" Morphs From Racial Ghost Story To Absurdist Mysticism

 

"Goddamnit, I hate murder more than just about anything," said Sheriff Red Jetty. "It can just ruin a day."

Performing a master class in satirical horror, Percival Everett manages to combine dark humor and dark history in the captivating "The Trees." Making Emmett Till the main character was a stroke of brilliance by an author at his very best.

"How long does it take you to pee?"

"A couple of minutes. I come back out and a couple of wasi'chu was on fire. That's when I realized something was wrong."

"Yeah, people on fire is a red flag."

Powered by short chapters and rapid-fire dialogue, the novel advances at a frantic pace, weaving a tale of a Mississippi town that could never -- and never tried to -- escape its brutal past. "The Trees" somehow blends comedy and gruesomeness in a way that largely works, with a pervasive message about the effect of naming.

"Dill looked back over his shoulder to see if anyone was in earshot. "Crazier than a one-winged fly."

"That's very poetic," Jim said.

"I was a creative writing major at Auburn. Poetry. I always wanted to be a Beat poet. Wrong generation. Now I stick dead people in drawers. I suppose it's the same thing once you get down to it."

The Guardian characterized the book as a "reverse minstrel show," while the NPR pointed out the "absurdist touches," but Everett's Southern-noir-ish work does not fit easily into any genre. There were moments when I felt a tension in the balance between hilarity and gravity, combined with a series of grammatical mistakes, compromised some of the impact of "The Trees."

"You're going to mess around and get yourself shot," Ed said once they were on the street. "She could have some crazy-ass husband or boyfriend. You know, a stupid redneck with a gun."

"That's redundant."

In the end, however, this read was instructive and insightful, touching and hysterical, difficult to read and impossible to put down. For a book that defies genre, these are achievements in and of themselves.

"He still had a badge and a gun but could barely wipe his own ass. He smelled of shit, Aqua Velva, and pimento cheese."

Day 1,158, Quasi-Quarantine: Trying To Find The Metsiest Low Point Possible

If you were seeking to sum up New York's season to date, you could do a lot worse than this paragraph:

"The Mets submitted their version of an Aristocrats joke in a 10-3 loss to the Nationals in Monday’s series finale. They had a runner picked off first with the bases loaded. They miscommunicated in the outfield to turn a fly ball into a triple. They were fooled by a Little League first-and-third stolen base. Their pitching staff mustered one zero in eight tries all day. They’ve now gone 52 offensive innings without a home run."

A round of pony kegs for Tim Britton, who is among the beat writers forced to watch this epic disaster unfold on a daily basis. The point where all of this could be blamed on a litany of injuries has past, unfortunately; when Buck Showalter is out of answers, you know you're in trouble.

Day 1,154, Quasi-Quarantine: Combos Are Better For Snacking Than Backcourts

 

Your reaction when you learn that NC State signed an actual true point guard in the transfer portal.

I'm gonna need a minute.

Day 1,153, Quasi-Quarantine: Claustrophobic, Mesmerizing "Silo" Off To An Engrossing Start

Apple TV+ looks to have continued its run of stellar programming with the addition of "Silo."

Based on a series of novels by author Hugh Howey, this dystopian show appears be an absorbing blend of "Lost" and "The Handmaid's Tale." I can't wait to see how future episodes handle the dawning reality that an entire society is being held captive underground for dubious reasons.

Good on ya, Apple TV+. Keep 'em coming.

Day 1,152, Quasi-Quarantine: "How To Write Short" Is A Digestible And Instructive Primer On Brevity

 

"A good short writer must be a disciplined cutter, not just of clutter, but of language that would be useful if she had more space. How, what, and when to cut in the interest of brevity, focus, and precision must preoccupy the mind of every good short writer."

Full of strong examples and better recommendations, "How to Write Short: Word Craft for Fast Times" is an essential read for writers seeking to hone their skills across a number of disciplines.

"Begin the story as close to the end as possible."

Defining short writing as 300 words or less, Roy Peter Clark favors short chapters with tasks at the end of each. In so doing, the author makes his work both accessible and actionable -- prized attributes in any writing resource.

"A time-starved culture bloated with information hungers for the lean, clean, simple, and direct."

Day 1,151, Quasi-Quarantine: Celebrating Scott Hutchison, Five Years On

Five years ago, Scott Hutchison took his own life. The musical genius behind Frightened Rabbit, Owl John, and Mastersystem had a highly publicized relationship with depression, and his transparency in that battle shone through all of his songs.

His brother and bandmate, Grant Hutchison, shared this Instagram post today, and he continues to shine a light on Scott and depression through is work with Tiny Changes.

Some lyrics from "400 Bones" stick with me today as I've seen them roll across the socials. Cheers to you, Scott.

“On absent days I will return to this place

And play a silent colour film within my head ...”

[Scott and Frightened Rabbit are often overlooked for their roles in the musical universe, so finding this loving tribute to him this morning on Boing Boing was moving.]

Limerick Friday #583: It's Getting Late Early For The Metsies -- Day 1,147

Can't hit a stitch

But neither can we pitch

A Detroit sweep

Makes me wanna weep

Being a Mets fan is a real bitch

Hitting all the chords

Appeasing all the hordes

"Ted Lasso" final season

Great beyond reason

Almost too good for words

Every loss at the end

Sends the season 'round the bend

State has a good team

But can't find any steam

Is there enough time to mend?

A franchise too good to be true

Itself it does consistently outdo

"Star Wars Visions" the latest

So I salute the greatest

And May the Fourth be with you

Still they moan and cry

And plead to the sky

Hey, if you have the work blues

I've got great news

There's a million companies to try

Last time ...

Day 1,146, Quasi-Quarantine: Marte Struggles Could Signal Need To Shake Up The Lineup

So leaving spring training with half of your pitching staff injured is not ideal. Not knowing who will be available to start a game and having to call up starters from Triple-A just before games and sending them back afterwards is suboptimal.

That being said, the Mets offense has been part of the problem during an uneven start. New York is in the middle of the pack in home runs (34), but that's largely due to Pete Alonso crushing 11 already. The team is 12th in the league in runs (141), which is making it nearly impossible for the Mets to overcome massive injury problems in the early part of the campaign.

One of the most alarming early-season trends has been the falloff of outfielder Sterling Marte. A key catalyst last season, the 34-year-old Marte had multiple groin surgeries (ouch) in the offseason and appears to be aging quickly. In almost 100 at-bats this year, he is hitting .227 with only five extra-base hits and is also struggling in the field.

To give Marte more team to heal in hopes of helping him find his stride, New York may need to start platooning him and adjusting his role in the batting order. Moving him out of the two-hole may take some pressure off of him and give other, hotter bats a chance to jumpstart the Mets attack.

Here's how a couple of options might look:

AGAINST RIGHTHANDERS

Brandon Nimmo, CF

Jeff McNeill, RF

Pete Alonso, 1B

Francisco Lindor, SS

Brett Baty, 3B

Daniel Vogelbach, DH

Mark Canha, LF

Francisco Alvarez, C

Luis Guillorme, 2B

Moving McNeill from second base to right field gets Guillorme on the field more and allows New York to start six lefties. Switching the order of Alonso and Lindor could give the former extra at-bats with men on and alleviate some pressure off Lindor, who has been prone to extended slumps. Baty is starting to hit like a witch, so putting him in the fifth spot moves down Vogelbach -- who, let's face it, just tries to walk these days -- and strengthens the bottom third of the order by pushing down Canha and Alvarez.

AGAINST LEFTHANDERS

Brandon Nimmo, CF

Mark Canha, LF

Pete Alonso, 1B

Francisco Lindor, SS

Sterling Marte, RF

Jeff McNeill, 2B

Eduardo Escobar, DH

Francisco Alvarez, C

Brett Baty, 3B

I'm of the mind that Baty needs to be an everyday player at this point, so this configuration still allows Escobar to play a significant role. I could also see Escobar and Tommy Pham rotating as the DH against righties based on who has the hot bat. I'm less inclined to insist that Alvarez catches every day, as I feel Tomas Nido brings a lot to the team as well. I'm not sold on Canha in the second spot, but I believe his ability to draw walks and get drilled by pitches pairs nicely with Nimmo at the top of the order. In this scenario, Marte hits fifth, but could move down the order a bit more if his slump is indicative of a longer-term concern.

There are no easy answers here. The Mets consciously ignored the offense while restructuring its pitching staff in the offseason, and the team is still feeling the effects of not finalizing the Carlos Correa deal. However, I do think tinkering with the batting order could be enough to jolt the offense back to life.

Obviously, Buck Showalter knows best. But hovering near .500 as we sneak into May is an indication that experimentation should be on the table.

Day 1,145, Quasi-Quarantine: "The Revivalists" Is A Frantic, Promising Book With A Slight Identity Crisis

 

"'What did you do?' I asked. 'When everything fell apart?'

"'I don't know, man,' she said. 'Did everything fall apart? How together was it to begin with?'"

Propelled by plausible apocalyptic scenarios and a frantic pace, "The Revivalists" imagines a pandemic that has wiped out 60-70% of the world's population. 

When a couple that struggles to communicate and has a weird, stilted dynamic crosses the country to try to rescue their daughter from an end-of-days cult, they encounter a variety of predictable and emotional obstacles.

"Actually, it was one of my favorite feelings: driving a car while someone I loved fell asleep beside me, in my care. Life was almost never that simple."

Christopher M. Hood has created a book that can't quite decide what it wants to be, resulting in a work that is missing something ineffable. The glue that should hold together a number of very promising pieces does not have the right stickiness in "The Revivalists," though the dynamics involved and the future presented merit witness in this quick read.

"All the mindfulness techniques I'd taught seemed irrelevant -- how could I caution against catastrophizing in the midst of catastrophe?"

Day 1,144, Quasi-Quarantine: Dog Humor. Yes.

 

I giggled way far out of whack for the actual comedy factor, but it struck a chord.

Day 1,143, Quasi-Quarantine: Wes Anderson Takes On The "Star Wars" Universe

Recently viewing "Return of the Jedi" again in the theater as part of a 40th anniversary celebration made me appreciate this interpretation even more.

And I fully admit that Scarlett Johansson as Princess Leia might have buckled my knees a bit.