Day 754, Quasi-Quarantine: Suspension Of Disbelief Essential In Absorbing "I Heard You Paint Houses"

"The first words Jimmy ever spoke to me were, 'I heard you paint houses.' The paint is the blood that supposedly gets on the wall or the floor when you shoot somebody. I told Jimmy, 'I do my own carpentry work, too.' That refers to making coffins and means you get rid of the bodies yourself."

There is no doubt that Charles Brandt's "I Heard You Paint Houses" is a compelling and absorbing read. Beyond that, almost everything surrounding this book about Frank "The Irishman" Sheeran is shrouded in doubt.

Sheeran's upbringing as an abused child and a soldier tasked with performing repeated war crimes certainly lend credence to his eventual role as a mob enforcer. However, how much is real and how much is hyperbole is open to conjecture.

"Not all people are affected the same way by the same events. We are each our own fingerprints and the sum of our own life's experiences."

Whether Sheeran actually was the Forrest Gump of high-profile mafia hits has long been challenged, and details like the hitman's revelation that he had seven contracts out on his life over the years become difficult to believe. In addition, the more-than-uncomfortable relationship between interviewer and interviewee that formed the basis of this book is troubling.

"While individual agents are top notch, as an institution the FBI sometimes behaves more like an armed public relations agency than a public service agency."

It's probably not worth arguing whether Sheeran was devoid of conscience enough to commit numerous atrocities -- but whether those involved Jimmy Hoffa, Joey Gallo, and even JFK is questionable.

It's clear that Hollywood bought the story, as "The Irishman" movie wholeheartedly attests. Perhaps it's best to view the book in the same way: a blend of fact and fiction aimed at entertaining and furthering the national fascination with "La Cosa Nostra."

"You could tell by looking at him that he was a fighter. He was one of those guys you could probably beat, but you'd have to take a couple of days off before you thought about fighting him again."