Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: Not Even A Loss Can Stop ‘Murrica, Plus Margaritas For Mo

No one gave the U.S. a chance

To survive, much less to dance

“The Group of Death,” it was called

Every U.S. fan was appalled

‘Til we lost, but still did advance

A new helmet in every fan ‘zine

A new court layout is pretty keen

That’s what passes for good news

As on the field State does lose

At least marketing has joined the scene

Midway through Season 4

Hank has awoken from his snore

Skyler a bit of a drag

If not an out-and-out hag

“Breaking Bad,” what else is in store?

Playing with tempo and pace

With movement all over the place

The Fins have a new offense

But injuries that make no sense

Predicting Philbin falls flat on his face

Mom’s birthday has arrived again

Memories from way back when

Margaritas we’ll be sippin’

To Enya we will listen

Family is everything more now than then

Last time …

Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 72

#1

If you’re planning a visit to the Big Apple, you can score marginal cool points (or, alternately, get punched) by brushing up on your NYC bar lingo.

#2

It’s not fully possible to convey what a tool this narrator is, but the virtual tour of Jerry Seinfeld’s apartment is simply not to be missed. Speaking of not to be missed, the narrator somehow failed to notice the puffy shirt in Jerry’s drawer. Unforgiveable.

#3

How about a slightly creepy, Mafioso-ish store owner trying to sell cups to little kids by discussing “laser swords” and Star Wars? Yes? Here you go.

#4

These ‘Shopped tattoos are utterly brilliant. I have nothing else.

#5

“Nobody’s Son” is a beautifully written reflection on collateral fallout of losing a parent …

#6

So how do you take a picture of arguably the world’s biggest tree, one that has more than 2 billion leaves and is more than 3,000 years old? National Geographic embarked on that challenge (get it?).

#7

Social media just got explained using beer.

#8

This mesmerizing time-lapse marine life photography is nearly overpowering. There’s a whole ‘nuther world out there, folks.

#9

Filed under the category “Incomprehensible Abilities,” this woman is able to say the words “Fart Aerobics” like, a lot, without laughing.

#10

I miss “True Detective.” The people behind “Time is a flat circus” feel my pain and raise it to hilarity.

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIV: Taking In A Route At Hot, Dusty Pinehurst, Plus We Won’t See The Likes Of Tony Gwynn Again

Kaymer made putts that were obscene

And drove like a German machine

We hung out on five tee

Where Dustin Johnson had to pee

It was over early, but it was a scene

Was definitely pretty droll

Got the Steelers on a title roll

An oft-overlooked coach

His teams beyond reproach

RIP to Chuck Noll

Around the world, it’s thriving

In the US, they say, “Too much diving”

Have you seen a basketball game?

With too many flops to name?

I, for one, glad the World Cup’s arriving

Analysts kept blowing the Heat

Refused to accept defeat

‘Til the Spurs wrecked ‘em soundly

Then were applauded roundly

Sports coverage a laughable feat

Farewell to the best hitter I ever saw

His swing made you drop your jaw

To Tony Gwynn all fans were connected

His passing hit me harder than expected

Always had a smile and guffaw

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: No. 2 Will Make The Best Play Like No. 2, Plus It’s Your Day, Dads

Can Mickelson finally finish first?

The humidity’s gonna be the worst

The U.S. Open has come to N.C.

Expect to see a triple bogey or three

I’ll be there Sunday in Pinehurst

It’s like he won the lottery, man

Then complained about the payment plan

Steve Coburn the douche of the horse bash

His whining as cheesy as his ‘stache

California Chrome deserves a better fan

Two seasons through “Breaking Bad”

Walt’s got plenty on his plate as a Dad

Serves meth up on a platter

He only wanted to matter

How he found his voice? Kinda sad

The GOP continues to smolder

Spurred by the upset of Eric Holder

He reached across the aisle

So he got shivved with a smile

The more cynical the more I get older

Another Father’s Day is here

How about some golf and a beer?

Hard to think of myself in that role

But it has somehow made me whole

It’s love that overrides the fear

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: A Baseball Icon Passes, Plus The Heels Cheating Story That Just Wouldn’t Stop

Don Zimmer has passed to many tears

A baseball legend with stories for years

Some called him a “Gerbil”-looking guy

Others tabbed him as “Popeye”

Always reminded me of Coach on “Cheers”

A somber commemoration

For those who saved a nation

Not to mention the world at last

D-Day’s70 years in the past

A salute to the greatest generation

Flexible and a stalwart at the same time

Omnipresent, serene and sublime

He was Gallo’s running mate

A good, long life was O-Dog’s fate

Had a great Dad, plus a 17-year prime

San Antonio cut off the A/C

Smoked out the Heat easily

LeBron got the cramps

Haters gave him pussy stamps

Can they still win title #3?

 

The latest to torch UNC’s cheating dance

The one and only bipolar McCants

At sham classes he did scoff

As Roy Williams signed off

Burn it down before he “recants”

Last time …