Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 8

#1
You know what makes me want to order Domino’s? When I see a commercial about how much they suck, how much everyone hates their pizza and how much they’re “experimenting” on how to make edible pizza. Mmm, good. Where’s the phone?

#2
So NBC finally lands a playoff game, and to celebrate, they compile their “dream team” of announcers to paint the audience the most vivid picture possible. Tom Hammond? Joe Theismann? Joe Gibbs? Tiki Barber? Are you fucking kidding me? Hell, at one point, Hammond referred to the best cornerback in the game, Darrelle Revis, as “Darrell Reeves.” Those guys missed a great game. And NBC missed a great opportunity.

#3
Seeing fake, stuffed antlers sticking out of the windows on either side of a minivan is bad enough … but on freaking January 5?!

#4
You gotta love the take by the Washington Wizards’ Gilbert Arenas after he pistol-whipped Jarrett Crittenton in the locker room –that it was a “joke.” “You know what would be hilarious? If I pretended to threaten your life at gunpoint with a fake pistol—except I wouldn’t pretend and it would be a real gun—piss-your-pants funny, right?” You know he’s going to say that he “wasn’t aware” (*cue Costanza*) that you couldn’t bring guns to the arena … did he think he could just stick a 9 mm in his sock and play the game? Did anyone else think of Billy Cole gunning down the other team during a run in the “Last Boy Scout” when you read this?

#5
Here’s a faceoff: Indian women (dots not feathers) drivers vs. Asian women drivers … who is worse?

#6
This is a big moment for the Cleveland Browns organization (I never thought I would type those words). How they handle the Joshua Cribbs situation (although his agent needs to stfu) will go a long way toward determining if anything at all has changed in that organization. That dude is a bonafide star, and whether they pay him or not will show whether they are the same ol’ Browns or if they are actually “different” with Mike Holmgren involved.

#7
I obviously don’t follow women’s basketball closely, but it sounds like State has knocked one out of the park with new coach Kellie Harper. She seems to have achieved a nice balance of acknowledging what former coach and forever legend Kay Yow created and recognizing to take that torch and elevate the entire program. This recent article on her included the thoughts of a writer who really seems to “get it” (sad that journalists around here are either too scared or too biased to recognize it): “And not to speak in rank generalizations, but … oh, you know how it is. NC State folks are used to rolling their eyes at the perceived elitism of Duke and self-reverence of North Carolina. If you're from outside the Triangle and have no allegiance to any of the schools, can you possibly not find yourself at least a little in the Wolfpack's corner?”

#8
Has anyone ever seen Golden Globe-nominated actor Stanley Tucci and Virginia Tech basketball coach Seth Greenberg in the same place at the same time?

#9
Shake-your-head NFL moment of the weekend: Baltimore running back Willis McGahee scores an essentially meaningless touchdown late in the romp over the Patsies. One offensive lineman hugs him before McGahee gets mad, shrugs him off and walks away. Another offensive lineman grabs him to celebrate, interrupting McGahee again and making him even more pissed. Finally, he pushes his teammates away so he can start his choreographed dance. For a guy who has basically become irrelevant on his own team, he came off looking not only selfish, but stupid. One day, the networks will get together and realize that if they cut away just after the touchdown is scored and don’t show these largely retarded celebrations, these jackasses will eventually stop doing them.

#10
Sometimes I watch “How I Met Your Mother,” and while it still has its entertaining moments, I think it’s largely jumped the shark. Maybe that is one of the reasons that the writers appear to be getting both lazy and desperate. To wit: In this week’s episode, Ted asks a girl, “Do you date idiots?” (or something like that) and she responds “Almost exclusively.” Being the “Seinfeld” fanatic that I am, I recognize the line immediately from "The Stakeout," where Jerry asks Vanessa, “Do you date immature men?” and she says, “Almost exclusively.” C’mon, now we’re going to frolic down the plagiarism path? Quit stealing shit from “Seinfeld,” “How I Met Your Mother”!