Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIX: Avenging The Bob-Kabob, Plus The ‘Fins Stumble Across The .500 Mark

The cannibals hacked apart

After they made Bob depart

But some left for D.C. Loop

You never split up the group!

The season off to a rousing start

Seems like a likeable-enough guy

And Dave Doeren really does try

But cooked-up stats on youth

Is a little bit uncouth

For Pack football, excuses never go on bye

Good gracious alive

Wee Ube’s five

Where does the time go

Mo’s proud, don’t you know

Not ready for girlhood to arrive

By the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

A most necessary win

Sitting at 5-3

The Scooters hopefully

Get a playoff push to begin

 

Playing the dreadful Jags

The offense made me gags

The D bailed them out

And made it a rout

At 4-3, optimism still lags

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: Accountability Not Worth A Chapel Hill Of Beans, Plus TWD Asks “What About Bob?”

Cheating on an epic scale

Others in comparison pale

Teflon Roy said, “Dadgum, I didn’t know”

As UNC administrators say, “Uh-oh”

Integrity long ago set sail

Spirals instead of prayers

Scampering like Sayers

Tannehill looked like a winner

And an actual football spinner

As the ‘Fins pounded the Bears

The annual swoon does begin

The Scooters denied a win

Vernon Davis and Fitz

Both playing like shits

Cost me in a tight one again

Brandon Marshall, always a bit strange

Wide is his bipolar range

It’s easy to be healed

When you’re winning on the field

But a leopard’s spots don’t change

They’re calling it to the Bob-B-Q

Randomly walk off, this happens to you

Gabriel gives me the creeps

Plot lines are taking leaps

TWD, a faster pace is working, too

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: TWD Back In A Blaze, Plus “Boardwalk Empire” Hurtles Toward The End

Terror inside a trough

Watching was pretty rough

Terminus destroyed by Carol

An emotional reunion with Darryl

“Walking Dead,” you give me just enough

Speaking of the walking dead

Let’s talk of Joe Philbin, instead

He got a little queasy

Made the choke job easy

His tenure reeks of dread

Ain’t rainin’ it's pourin’

For lackluster Dave Doeren

Recruiting is pretty good

But under the coaching hood

His excuses have us all snorin’

Losing dudes left and right

Is there an end in sight?

Need stars to be stars

Then I’ll be smokin’ cigars

Halfway home as the Scooters fight

The end is approaching fast

How many characters will last?

Van Alden’s sudden ka-boom

Chalky’s musical doom

Two giants sublimely passed

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: “Homeland” Plot’s Sloggin’ While Dude’s Hoggin’, Plus “Twin Peaks” To Return In 2016

Carrie’s still batshit crazy

The writing’s still lazy

Despite marketing nearly viral

Homeland’s continued downward spiral

Its future lookin’ a little hazy

Pulled ourselves back off the mat

Then trounced big-headed Pat

Our record now 4-1

The Scooters have only begun

Now if we can only get healthy, stat

The sound of Saturday Night Live

Taken for granted when he was alive

To Don Pardo, a belated RIP

His voice meant comedy to me

With him, voiceovers did thrive

As it goes off into that good night

No sense or point in sight

It has no plot or motto

It’s turned into Grand Theft Auto

“Sons of Anarchy” has now seen the light

It’s ending kind of a pooper

Especially for Agent Cooper

But a quarter-century has passed

Now “Twin Peaks” back at last

Expecting a show even loopier

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: An Epic Ending Is Lurking Under The Boardwalk, Plus The Pack Pulls Out The Crablegs Vs. The ‘Noles

Flashbacks of young Nucky

As he currently battles Lansky and Lucky

Joe Kennedy has arrived

With an accent contrived

Final “Boardwalk” season anything but sucky

Hammered the Raiders ‘cross the pond

You know of Philbin I’m not fond

But he managed to stay out of the news

For a week, he didn’t lose

During a bye, can he find a magic wand?

After a flurry of incompetence

Secret Service director relents

A resignation offered

But no explanation proffered

Maybe protect POTUS hence?

Half of my team was on bye

My new logo is of a hurt guy

A third of the way there

3-1 is pretty fair

Now the Scooters have to show they can fly

Vs. the ‘Noles, it was score after score

State fought until they were sore

Carter-Finley couldn’t be louder

Of the Pack, I couldn’t be prouder

At Clemson, we’ll find out a lot more

Last time …