Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIV: Months Before It Airs, Season 2 of “True Detective” Already Blows, Plus Please Leave Philbin With The Wankers

I loved the first “True Detective”

But now their casting’s defective

Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn?

Were all the real actors gone?

Expectations now put into perspective

Coach K got hammered ‘til the bell

By a name even harder to spell

Wojnarowski blistered the coach

For using USA hoops to poach

When Calipari complains, your tactics must really smell

Nuck dodging hits in Havana

Part of the “Boardwalk Empire” panorama

Meyer Lansky lurking around

Chalky escaped underground

Luciano now Brooklyn’s top banana?

Undefeated with a third win

By the hair of my chinny-chin-chin

Now I’m in bye week hell

My backups have a distinctive smell

Pop that champagne, Garo Yepremian

The body blows don’t abate

As Philbin engenders hate

He’s got Tanny saying, “Why me?”

And a nation saying, “Blimey!”

Shitcan him in London, why wait?

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIII: The ‘Fins Are Who We Thought They Were, Plus The Scooters’ Depth Tested Early

Back to earth with a thud

Every Tannehill pass like a scud

A predictable loss to the Bills

Has fans running for the hills

The future of this team, clear as mud

The reigning Man of the Year

Reinjured and shed a tear

Charles Tillman is what’s right

In a league that’s full of blight

For Peanut, well wishes and a cheer

On the other hand, we read

About Adrian Peterson’s need

To beat his illegitimate 4-year-olds

With trees instead of scolds

Purple Jesus, indeed

The last season has finally hit

“Sons of Anarchy” has violence with no wit

Jax trying to avenge Tara’s killing

Believe his mom, he’s still willing?!

He’s losing control bit by bit

Everywhere, they were dropping like flies

Lost four of my starting guys

In a single cursed afternoon

A 2-0 team with an injury swoon

Fantasy football, I shake my fist at your skies

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXII: Bullying The Hoody, Plus Missing Mo

Finally got a running game

Of the Dolphins, no longer ashamed

Forced Brady into the fetal position

Pounded the Patsies into submission

No more of the same ol’ same?

Fitzgerald made me say uh-oh

My kicker was kinda of a no-show

But Lynch went into beast mode

Vernon Davis never really slowed

Just feels good to be 1-0

An emotional “The Leftovers” finale

Took no time to dilly or dally

The Guilty Remnant got torched

So many memories got scorched

Kevin and Nora may just rally

The NFL repeatedly liared

Guess TMZ they should have hired

Hard to get worse than Ray Rice

He’s like a maggot with lice

But it’s time for Goodell to be fired

Two years gone by

Yet each week I cry

At the loss of you

The one thing that was true

Robbed of the chance to ask why

Last time …