After leaving Cam Cameron dangling for a couple of days, new Dolphins chief Bill Parcells and his self-appointed general manager Jeff Ireland —- henceforth to be known as Mini Tuna -— dropped the hammer on the hapless and unfortunately named Cameron today (in the interest of fairness, the Miami Herald refers to the new regime as the "Dallas Mafia" in a well-done column arguing that Cameron deserved more time). Apparently, a “final-hour plea from Bob Knight,” who coached Cameron at Indiana, wasn’t enough to save Cam’s bacon … but then again, isn’t turning to Bob Knight as a character reference a little like putting Billy Joel on the on the stand as a witness in your reckless driving case?
Of course, now attention turns to the usual random guesses by so-called experts in terms of just who will be tabbed to take over the ‘Fins. As we discussed earlier, the leader in the clubhouse would appear to be Dallas offensive assistant Tony Sparano, with Arizona assistants Todd Haley and Maurice Carthon among a second tier of possibilities. Yet somehow, someway, leaps are being made to include such names as Virginia coach Al Groh and former Minnesota Vikings head man Mike Tice in the running. Apparently, if you were ever in the same Whataburger as Parcells while he demolished an “Ol’ 96er,” you’re a candidate now.*
But Groh? Tice? Really? Firing Rick Mueller for Ireland so he can bring in one of those clowns would be akin to shit-canning Al Davis to hire Matt Millen so he could fire Norv Turner in favor of Rich Kotite.
The bottom line is that this firing was more predictable than an out-of-wedlock Spears family pregnancy and more obvious than finding out that Clay Aiken drives a Volvo.
*I’m full of by-god similes and metaphors today. Look out.
** EDITOR'S NOTE: If you're looking for a more well-articulated discussion of the uncertainty surrounding Cam Cameron's dismissal, click here for some thought-provoking comments from Klinger's grandson, who is apparently a smooth-talking, well-informed NFL analyst. I had embedded some ESPN video interview with Chris Mortensen discussing the move, but since it is "currently unavailable," I found this gem and thought I would share it. Giddyup.
1 comment:
Cool.
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