A coupla months back, I lamented the absence of “King of Queens” in the fall prime-time lineup. The geniuses at CBS – obviously avid Scooter & Hum readers – finally bowed to the groundswell of support for the ousted show and have agreed to put Doug, Carrie, Arthur-itis, Deac, Spence, Danny and Holly back on the air. The show debuts this season on Wednesday at 8 p.m. on CBS with back-to-back episodes, with 13 episodes slated to be aired between now and May. It sounds like these baker’s dozen will be the swan song for this hilarious show, making way for these 10 pilots:
• “PunyK’d”: the tale of a blind midget publisher having tricks played on him by his employees
• “Big Madre”: the tale of an irate Cuban woman running a nursery
• “My Jaycee Life”: the tale of a semi-retarded redneck going on dates armed only with a box of ice cream, a coffeemaker and a hand truck
• “A Hard Hobbit to Break”: the tale of a diminutive techie who is fired in new and creative ways by the Bobs from “Office Space”
• “We’re All In”: the tale of a group of startup executives who base major corporate decisions on hands of Texas Hold ‘em poker
• “Track Gruesome Recluse’s Kudos: TGRK”: “America’s Most Wanted”-style show following a suspected serial killer through his daily activities
• “That Liberace Had Style”: a game show in which the contestants ask 20 questions of a guest in a quest to guess his/her preference
• “Fletch Got Nuthin’ On Me”: reality show depicting a habitual liar as he goes on interviews in an attempt to convince human resource departments that he is the “right guy for the job”
• “Pippy Bong-Stocking”: colorful, gum-chewing free spirit bitches higher-ups into submission in an attempt to accrue as much pot money as she can while doing the least amount of work possible
• “Givin’ ‘Em Dell”: video game-style show that combines “Operation” and “Donkey Kong,” requiring online viewers to attach a neck to an inanimate body, climb to the top of a building to save would-be suicide jumpers and then attempt to start a computer company using only a pitching wedge, a dradle and a chicken finger.
Honorable Mention: "Got My Back, Hack?": in a Pac Man parody, a paranoid manic-depressive maneuvers his way through stacks of his own reports in a dimly lit office, trying to find his spine. Sadly, even Fox would not touch this one.
OK, I am guessing on most of these ideas. But if they are not in development, they should be. Wait … do I smell a new “Project Greenlight” season?
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